Transcript of Dimension of Disaster: Defender of Varrock

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New Varrock Library[edit | edit source]

  • Reldo: Welcome to the New Varrock library. Wait – you’re alive! I mean, you’re a living, breathing human. I thought I was the only one. Zemouregal kept me alive to research various titbits, mostly to find out more about the Shield of Arrav. I’ve given him a few morsels of information about the shield, but I’ve kept one piece back. Want to know more?

Accept quest

  • Reldo: So, here’s the thing… Zemouregal wants to unlock the full power of the shield. It’s staggeringly powerful, and that power would only allow him to stretch his empire further. But I’ve found something out. The shield can only be unlocked by a single bloodline. The bloodline of our first king. I believe that someone in Varrock shares that bloodline – someone who can use the shield to dethrone Zemouregal. With a few more months research, I’ll know who it is.
    • Player: Do you mean Dimentheis?
      • Reldo: Dimentheis? You think? If it IS Dimentheis, that’s our plan scuppered. Dimentheis was eaten alive when the Rat Pits overflowed. There’s not even an arm left to attach the shield.
    • Player: King Roald? Aoenisig Raispher?
      • Reldo: Roald tried to wield the shield once, while Aenisig tried to wield it when King Roald wasn’t looking. Nothing interesting happened.
    • Player: Sir Prysin?
      • Reldo: That buffoon? A Prysin was one of the first elders of Avarrocka, but Ehntor cannot wield the power of the shield.
    • Player: Curator Haig Halen? Horvik the amourer?
      • Reldo: I see you’ve done your research! Both of them are descendants of the first elders, but I’ve verified that the shield is ineffective in their hands.
    • Player: Arrav?
      • Reldo: Arrav DID wield the Shield of Arrav to fend off Zemouregal. And unlike the descendants of the first elders, he’s still alive a manner of speaking.
      • Skips to "Arrav’s still around"
  • Reldo: I wonder… No - that option’s too ludicrous. We may as well give up.
    • Player: What is it?
      • Reldo: Arrav. He once wielded the Shield of Arrav to fend off Zemouregal. ‘Shield of Arrav’, after all, the clue’s in the name.
    • Player: Oh, get on with it.
      • Reldo: I was enjoying delivering some exposition! You don’t often get to be a central player in a quest.
    • Player: Give the Shield of Arrav to Arrav?
      • Reldo: Well, yes. That was the plan. He once wielded the Shield of Arrav to fend off Zemouregal so, maybe, he could do it again.
  • Reldo: Arrav’s still around: undead, controlled by Zemouregal, working for Ellamaria and with his heart locked in a vault. There’s no way he can help.
  • Player: We can get to him! How difficult can it be to remove the control from him?
  • Reldo: Pretty darn difficult! But I like your chutzpah. Go talk to Arrav in the main hall of the palace and see if he’s interested in this folly.

Garden of Hostility[edit | edit source]

Arrav[edit | edit source]

  • Arrav: I’m pretty sure that I can’t talk right now-
  • Ellamaria: Quit your gas-bagging! Those weeds won’t prune themselves!
  • Arrav: Lord Zemouregal has commanded that I help Queen Ellamaria to create her garden…
  • Ellamaria: Not any old garden, your shirtless cretin. This is my masterpiece. The ‘Garden of Hostility’.
  • Arrav: And I have plenty that our queen wants me to do. Seeds to gather from various locations, statues to push. Lord Zemouregal commands and I must obey.
    • Would you be willing to bring down Zemouregal?
      • Player: What if I could remove Zemouregal’s hold over you? Would you be willing to bring down Zemouregal?
      • Ellamaria: Ha! Bring down Zemouregal? Fwahahaha!
      • Arrav: If it were possible. But the prophecy states that I will forever be under Zemouregal’s control.
      • Ellamaria: I’ve got a prophecy for you. The planets aligned and, Io, a giant oaf got off his backside and did some work.
      • It seems Arrav would be interested in bringing Zemouregal down.
    • Player: I’ve met you before.
      • Arrav: I don’t remember you, but that’s not new. When Zemouregal takes control of my mind, I often don’t realise – or remember – what I have been doing.
    • Player: What’s Ellamaria doing here?
      • Arrav: Zemouregal and Ellamaria are… Zemouregal is Ellamaria’s… Actually, what is your relationship with Lord Zemouregal?
      • Ellamaria: I’m his ghoulfriend. We’re just seeing each other.
    • Player: Goodbye.

Talking to Arrav again

  • Arrav: I can’t talk at the moment. Ellamaria warned Zemouregal that something was up, and he’s been watching me ever since.
  • Player: I’d better go back and talk to Reldo.

Ellamaria[edit | edit source]

  • Ellamaria: One day, I’ll have a man-eating garden of barbed creepers, bloater spores and gobbler audreys. For now, delphiniums will have to do.

Reporting Back #1[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I talked to Arrav. He wants to liberate Varrock, but Zemouregal has control of every action he makes.
  • Reldo: It’s as we thought, then. Still, there’s hope. Mind control is a very powerful spell. That kind of magic would require Zemouregal’s 100% attention. Yet, Zemouregal manages to eat, drink, torture and quarrel with his gargoyle pet. The magic must come from an artefact, then, and artefacts can be destroyed. Look around the library for more information. Zemouregal is a hoarder, and keeps all sorts of information here. There might be notes on this artefact.

Talking to Reldo again

  • Reldo: Look around the library for information. There might be notes on the artefact that controls Arrav.

Searching the Library[edit | edit source]

Searching bookshelves

  • You pick a book at random…

Searching table

  • You take a random book from the table and read the title…

Possible books you can find

  • The Zemouregal Dictionary. IT goes from Z-A
  • ‘Making Decomposition Work for You: an Undead Style Bible’
  • ‘Hey, That’s My Epiglottis!: Amazing Things Heard while Shambling around Varrock’
  • The Joy of Hex
  • A skullball alamac from year 175 of the Fifth Age.
  • ‘Azure Golem and Other Anagrams for the Word Zemouregal’
  • ‘My Favourite Pedestals’ by Sharathteerk, a gargoyle.
  • ‘Death is Just the Beginning: Secrets of a Successful Unlife’. A picture of * Zemouregal winks at you from the front cover.
  • ‘100 Fun Things to Do with your Partially Severed Arms’, by Cliff Windmills.
  • A book of puzzles. Zemouregal has filled the majority in incorrectly.
  • The Wind in the Gallows
  • It’s the novel tie-in for ‘Zemouregal: The Movie’.
  • ‘The Life, Death, Undeath and Death (Again) of Surok Magis’, by Surok Magis.
  • An audiobook for banshees. Sounds terrifying.
  • ‘slack Jaws and Swollen Tongues: a Zombie Language Primer for Trainee Necromancers’
  • It seems to be a walkthrough for something called ‘Dimension of Disaster’. You * sense it shouldn’t be here, and put it back.
  • In this bookcase, you find a document with an eerily familiar title: ‘Matters of the Heart’.

Searching lecterns

  • Zemouregal’s memoirs. He seems to be retconning a lot of Gielinor’s history. Apparently, Zemouregal stabbed Loarnab with the Staff of Zemouregal.
  • A colouring book of zombies, skeletons and the like.
  • It’s the Varrock Census, with virtually every name scribbled out. Someone has taken the time to write ‘Haha!’ repeatedly in the margins.

Reporting Back #2[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I found a document called ‘Matters of the Heart’
  • You show the document to Reldo.
  • Reldo: Interesting. It describes a TzHaar-style obsidian prism that strengthen’s [sic] Zemouregal’s hold over Arrav. Zemouregal keeps his most precious artefacts in his treasure room, on the first floor of the palace. It should be in there. Get inside and smash the prism. I would help, but… well… we librarians aren’t known for our adventuring prowess. Sorry.
  • Player: If the artefact’s what I think it is, I have some experience of this black prism. It’s probably behind a decoder door, knowing Zemouregal.
  • Reldo: Zemouregal only allows zombies upstairs – which is just as well, as they’re terrible at climbing them. Thessalia the seamstress has experience of making costumes. You should go see her in her shop.

Throne Room[edit | edit source]

Eavesdropping #1[edit | edit source]

  • You peer over the railing, and eavesdrop on the throne room below.
  • Sharathteerk: Zemouregal, I’ve been talking with the zombies and we, uh, wanted to ask you about something. The magic mist you got us to swallow is corroding our insides. It also…uh…escapes at awkward times. Could we perhaps use keys, switches or levers to unlock doors, like the other bad guys?
  • Zemouregal: Nonsense! The mist has no noticeable side effects. It’s a foolproof security system. If the zombies want to go through the doors in my new palace, then they need to shut up and gas up.

Eavesdropping #2[edit | edit source]

  • Sharathteerk: My lord, are you sure the black prism in your treasure room is safe? It’s only blocked by red mist, and any armoured zombie might be able to enter.
  • Zemouregal: *Yawn* Don’t worry. The only thing I care about is hidden inside the treasure room safe. You’d need a code key and decoder strips to get through.
  • Sharathteerk: Um. Should we be talking about this in a large open room with a balcony?
  • Zemouregal: Pah! The code’s safe in my laboratory, behind a human detection spell. No creature of flesh could pass.
  • Sharathteerk: Since we’re revealing everything, what happened to that tin soldier you were experimenting on?
  • Zemouregal: Oh, I left it in the store room. It exploded the last time I tried to remote-control it. You know, by using the scrying pool in the treasure room. You should give it a go. I’ve written some notes in a book next to the scrying pool. It’s great fun.

The Tin Soldier[edit | edit source]

Inspecting It[edit | edit source]

Inspecting the tin soldier

  • Player: The tin soldier’s in a pretty bad state. I reckon it needs a head, and three lumps of tin to be super-heated onto its chassis.

Inspecting it again

  • The tin soldier is missing its head. There can’t be many places to get a detached bot noggin.

Asking Around[edit | edit source]

Arrav[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I’m looking for the head of a tin soldier. Any idea where I could find one?
  • Arrav: I know of no such thing within the palace. Look without.

Reldo[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I’m looking for the head of a tin soldier. Any idea where I could find one?
  • Reldo: An odd request! Well, there’s an inquisitor announcing the trial of tin soldiers just outside the east bank. Little fellow. Stands on a box.

Trial Announcer[edit | edit source]

  • Trial Announcer: Ho there, loyal thrall to Zemouregal. How can I help you?
  • Player: Can I have a tin soldier head?
  • Trial Announcer: You want the decapitated head of a robot warrior? Why?
    • Player: I’d like to get ahead of the competition.
    • Player: I want to pick its brain.
    • Player: I couldn’t face life without it.
  • Trial Announcer: I’m sorry I asked. Here, take it and go away. Please.
  • He gives you a tin soldier head.

Fixing It[edit | edit source]

After getting head

  • You attach the head to the stump of the tin soldier’s neck. It snaps solidly into place.
  • Player: Now to repair the damage. I reckon it’ll need three lumps of tin ore, superheated directly onto the torso.

After getting ore and runes

  • Use your tin ore and runes to repair the tin soldier?
    • Go-go, roboto!
      • You superheat the tin ore onto the tin soldier. It’s finished and should work!
    • No-go, roboto.

Using red mist

  • Empty a vial of red mist onto the tin soldier?
    • Yes.
      • You douse the tin soldier with red mist. It should now be able to pass through red barriers.
    • No.

After finishing

  • Player: The tin soldier looks to be fully operational.

The Scrying Pool[edit | edit source]

New Varrock square[edit | edit source]

  • You view New Varrock square…
  • Image of Zemouregal: I hope you’ve done all your chores, Tiny Zemouregal, or there’s no pudding for you.
  • Tiny Zemouregal: PUDDING IS MY DESTINY.
  • Image of Zemouregal: A smacking is your destiny, if you’re not careful.

Demon camp[edit | edit source]

  • You view Delrith’s camp…
  • Evil Dave: If you’re evil and you know it, clap your hands…

Graveyard[edit | edit source]

  • You view the graveyard…
  • Raven (1): I couldn’t eat another scrap of flesh. I’m so full.
  • Raven (2): Not me, I’m still ravenous.
  • Raven (1): Ravenous? Ah, you always have been a joker.

Saradominist church[edit | edit source]

  • You view the Saradominist church…
  • Father Lawrence: Saradomin said unto those congregated before him… …The land shall be inherited by the asleep and the ignorant… …And thus did the congregation fall asleep and ignore him.

Throne room balcony[edit | edit source]

  • You view the throne room balcony…
  • Zemouregal: Wait – someone is watching me!
  • Sharathteerk: It’s me, Zemouregal. I’m watching you.
  • Zemouregal: Good point. As you were.

Garden of Hostility[edit | edit source]

  • You view the Garden of Hostility…
  • Arrav: When a man’s an empty kettle. He should be on his mettle. And yet I’m torn apart… Just because I’m presumin’. That I could be human. If I only had a heart…

Controling Tin Man[edit | edit source]

Searching Zemouregal’s lab desk

  • There’s a small card between the pages of the book on the table. The card seems to have been used as a bookmark. Four letters have been printed on the card: [Random code]
  • Player: [Random code]. I’ve encountered a code key like that before. I used it, alongside decoder strips, to crack the code for the vault containing Arrav’s heart, and to enter Zemouregal’s fortress in the frozen north.

Black Prism[edit | edit source]

Breaking the black prism

  • Player: Take that, black prism! Zemouregal’s control over Arrav should be gone.

Reporting Back #3[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I smashed the prism!
  • Reldo: Fantastic! Go see Arrav, and see if Zemouregal has lost control of him. If I were Arrav, I’d be dancing like a loon.

Finishing[edit | edit source]

  • Arrav: What did you do? I feel…different. I feel…free.
  • Player: Zemouregal’s black prism has been smashed. He doesn’t control you any more.
  • Arrav: Can it be?
  • Ellamaria: Oi! Quit it! Get back to work, you big, musclebound coathanger!
  • Arrav: Make up your mind, Ellamaria. Should I quit it, or get back to work?

Arrav throws away the gardening can

  • Arrav: Personally, I’m leaning towards quitting it.
  • Ellamaria: Don’t you dare! Zemouregal, why aren’t you stopping him? Zemouregal?
  • Arrav: Haha! A banshee whose voice can’t be heard! I’ll be taking this garden now, Ellamaria. You better leave.

Fades in and out

  • Arrav: That felt fantastic! But, if we are to fight Zemouregal, we need to retrieve my heart. Only then will I be truly free. But that’s for another day. Right now, you’ve saved me from an unlife of moving statues and finding ridiculous plants. And, more importantly, you have given me hope. If you can give me hope, you can do the same for New Varrock. Return to me once you have helped other people of New Varrock. Complete their quests, give them peace. Then we’ll send Zemouregal packing. And when I say packing, I mean kill him with swords.