Dialogue for Postie Pete

This page contains the transcript related to Postie Pete. The content below is copied verbatim from RuneScape and thus copyrighted by Jagex.

This transcript involves dialogue with Postie Pete, Barmaid, Lanthus, Notterazzo, Parroty Pete, Party Pete, Pirate Pete, Oracle, Reldo, and the player.

Standard dialogue

(Postie Pete will periodically appear at one of these locations and engage with the nearby NPC. Players can talk to him. After a few minutes, he will disappear.)

At the Ardougne Zoo

Player

• Player: Hey Pete, what you doing here?
• Postie Pete: Just chatting to my brother Pete. He keeps Parrots.
• Player: Doesn't sound too tough. What's the pay like?
• Postie Pete: Not very good I'm afraid. His bosses are pretty cheep.
• Player: Groan. Don't give up the day job Pete.

Parroty Pete

• Postie: Anyone got post?
• Postie: Hi Pete!
• Postie: Mum wants to know if you're coming round for tea.
• Parroty Pete: No. I've got another late night here.
• Parroty Pete: Ol' blue beak's got the flu again!
• Postie: Oh dear. Nothing too serious I hope.
• Parroty Pete: Well as long as he hasn't caught anything from that evil chicken.
• Postie: Got a taste for parrots now too does he?
• Postie: *Sigh* Will nothing sacred be safe?

At the Castle Wars lobby

Player

• Player: Hey Pete, what you doing here?
• Postie Pete: Just doing a quick survey on famous people and their favourite colour. It's a special feature for 'West Wyverns Women's Weekly'.
• Player: Can I get a copy?
• Postie Pete: Can you speak Wyvern?
• Player: No. Can you?
• Postie Pete: Well obviously.
• Player: Go on then.
• Postie Pete: Here! Are you mad? No, 'fraid I can't do that. Could cause all sorts of trouble.
• Player: You're a bit mad really aren't you?
• Postie Pete: So would you be if you could speak over 1000 languages. I bet it's bliss being ignorant of this world's trouble! I'm off!

Lanthus

• Postie: Anyone got post?
• Postie: Fight! Fight! ...Fight!
• Lanthus: Easy Pete, calm down. Don't lose your head!
• Postie: Cheeky!! If you're not careful I'll get you cursed too.
• Lanthus: You wouldn't catch me double-crossing a witch!
• Postie: But which witch is which! Anyway, I'm late for an appointment with the oracle.
• Lanthus: Take care and say hi to the kids for me.

At Ice Mountain

Player

• Player: Hey Postie Pete how's it going?
• Postie: I was just trying to get some wise words of wisdom from the Oracle, You know, she's been here a long time
• Player: Yes, I thought as much, what did she have to say?
• Postie: First she said, "I am the Oracle. And when I open my lips, let no dog bark"!
• Player: I see. And then what?
• Postie: I didn't know she was familiar with the works of Shakespeare. So I said 'Et tu, brute?'
• Player: And then?
• Postie: Well then she started pointing to Ardougne and rambling on about betrayal!

Oracle

• Postie: Anyone got post?
• Postie: Well I'm back. And he said no. Again.
• Oracle: Lemons? Both of them?
• Postie: Lemons? What are you talking about?
• Oracle: Fragile! Do not bend!
• Postie: I swear you get stranger every time.
• Postie: Ok, I'll ask again.

At the Falador Party Room

Player

• Player: Hi Pete, how's things?
• Postie Pete: Just chatting to my big brother Pete. Hee heee!!
• Player: What's so funny?
• Postie Pete: Just a joke that he told me. Care to hear it?
• Player: Yes, go on then.
• Postie Pete: 2 Parrots sit on a perch. One says to the other 'Can you smell fish'? Hee heheee he ho ho.
• Player: And so what did the other one say?
• Postie Pete: Sigh. 2 Parrots sit on a perch. One says to the other 'Can you smell fish'? Hee heheee he ho ho.
• Player: I see. So... what did the other one say?
• Postie Pete: You're serious aren't you. Listen again. 2 Parrots sit on a perch. One says to the other 'Can you smell fish'.
• Player: Fish, right. So, what was the reply?
• Postie Pete: ARGH!! 2 PARROTS. ON A PERCH. SMELLS FISHY.
• Player: No, still lost. Is one of them a penguin?
• Postie Pete: You're doing it on purpose now aren't you? Please leave me alone!

Party Pete

• Postie: Anyone got post?
• Postie: Hey bro, how's the party business?
• Party Pete: Great! Thanks!
• Party Pete: Celebrating weddings and drop parties...
• Party Pete: ...and getting paid for it!
• Postie: Nice. Well I'm here to talk to some White Knights.
• Party Pete: Want to take some cake with you?
• Postie: No thanks, I'm still dieting!
• Postie: Just seafood for me.

At the Laughing Miner pub

Player

• Player: Hey Postie. Hows tricks? Who are you interviewing here?
• Postie Pete: Everyone deserves a hic break you know. It gets pretty tiring lugging burp letters about all day.
• Player: I see. Can I join you?
• Postie Pete: Why, am I hic coming apart?
• Player: You've been here a while, haven't you?
• Postie Pete: Maybe I haves, maybe I haves. It all goes straight to my head you see.
• Player: Yes... I can see that. Bye Pete!

Barmaid

• Postie: Anyone got post?
• Postie: 4 pints of your finest please.
• Barmaid: 4 pints coming right up. Are you expecting guests?
• Postie: Just a few old friends.
• Barmaid: You want me to put it on your tab?
• Postie: That would be great, thanks. Oh, cripes! I've left a fire burning! I've got to go!

At Port Phasmatys

Player

• Player: Hey Pete, what you doing here?
• Postie Pete: Arrrr. Avast shipmate. Arrr. I Likes the cut of your gibb. Arrr. That it be.
• Player: Arrr?
• Postie Pete: Arrrr.
• Player: I have a strange feeling of Deja Vu. I must go now.

Pirate Pete

• Postie: Anyone got post?
• Postie: Hey Pete. Any news from the fleet?
• Pirate Pete: No yo ho bruv.
• Pirate Pete: 'Tis all quiet on the eastern front.
• Postie: Good good.
• Postie: Well you know what to do if something goes wrong.
• Pirate Pete: Aye, that I do, bruv.
• Pirate Pete: Holler like a bosun without a bottle.
• Postie: That's it brother, and we'll come a running!

At the Varrock Library

Player

• Player: HEY PETE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
• Postie Pete: Shhhh! It's a library you know!
• Player: Oh, sorry! So, what's new?
• Postie Pete: Not much, just doing some research on Dwarvern Culture. Did you know that Keldagrim was originally constructed by a long lost clan who embraced the power of magic, and used it to aid with glorious buildings like the royal palace?
• Player: Really??
• Postie Pete: Yes. They even stayed down there for 1000 years or more, in a time they call 'The age of Kings'.
• Player: WOW!
• Postie Pete: Shhhh! That's enough history for one day I think!

Reldo

• Postie Pete: Anyone got post?
• Postie: Reldo, have you found that book I was looking for yet?
• Reldo: No, not yet... but I know I've seen it somewhere...
• Reldo: ... come back later.
• Postie: Sure, no problems. See you later.
• Reldo: Bye! Say hi to the other Petes for me.
• Postie: Will do. Farewell!

At the Wilderness Bandit Camp

Player

• Player: Pete, what are you doing out here in the deep wilderness?
• Postie Pete: Shhh!! Don't let the others see me here! I'm on a top secret mission for the Burth..., no, nothing. Never mind. Oooo, look, the chaos elemental!! Quick, run!!
• Player: Argh!! Where?

Noterazzo

• Postie: Anyone got post?
• Postie: Psssst! How is the plan going?
• Notterazzo: Perfectly. Everyone is prepared.
• Postie: Great. Now don't forget- nobody does anything until I give the signal.
• Notterazzo: Sure no problem. We'll be waiting.
• Postie: 'Till next time. Farewell.

Talking to Postie Pete while he has overhead dialogue

• Postie Pete is talking to someone - don't you know it's rude to interrupt?

Talking to Postie Pete as he is leaving

• Postie Pete is preparing to teleport somewhere else, distracting him could have some terrible side effects.

Postie Pete's jokes

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Q – What happens if you right-click and 'Use' your own belly?

A – Nothing intestine happens.

In Burthorpe during Parcels from the Hedge (May 2018)

Overhead lines

• (One of the following is seen occasionally:)
  • Postie Pete: It's time to give back, mail for everyone!
  • Postie Pete: Parcels from the Hedge!
  • Postie Pete: Post! Post! Post! There's so much post!

When talked to

• Postie Pete: Player! So great to hear from you.
• Select an option
  • Any mail for me?
    • Player: Any mail for me?
      • (If no mail is available:)
        • Postie Pete: No sorry. I'll try and deliver another tomorrow.
        • (Returns to the previous options.)
      • (If mail is available:)
        • (Transcript missing. edit)
  • What's with all the parcels?
    • Player: What's with all the parcels?
    • Postie Pete: They're from all the people of Gielinor to all the adventurers to thank them for their hard work! I'll try to send you one each day for 30 days, and if you don't have enough space, just come and see me in Burthorpe once you do. If you want more, you'll just have to get out into the world and try doing something. I'm sure some mail will turn up.
    • (Returns to the previous options.)
  • What are the postage stamps for?
    • Player: What are the postage stamps for?
    • Postie Pete: I'm always sending letters, so I'm interested in any spare postage stamps you may have. I'll even exchange them for an unclaimed parcel.
    • (Returns to the previous options.)
  • What's so special about the parcels you send me each day?
    • Player: What's so special about the parcels you send me each day?
    • Postie Pete: I have a couple of lost property packages in the post office, that you can take off my hands should you collect parcels from me frequently.
    • Player: Wow, that sounds great!
    • Postie Pete: Just check in each day and I'll send any mail your way.
    • (Returns to the previous options.)
  • What delivery options are there?
    • Player: What delivery options are there?
    • Postie Pete: I can send all parcels to you directly, or alternatively I can have them sent to your bank.
    • Select an option
      • Send parcels to me directly.
        • Postie Pete: I'll send parcels to you directly as my priority.
        • (Returns to the initial options.)
      • Send parcels to my bank.
        • Postie Pete: I'll send parcels to your bank as my priority.
        • (Returns to the initial options.)

In Burthorpe during Parcels from the Hedge

November 2018

• Postie Pete: Player! So great to hear from you.
• (Only on first time:)
  • Postie Pete: I don't suppose you've heard any news of my body perchance?
  • Player: Your body?
  • Postie Pete: Somebody was kind enough to find me one, but...
  • Postie Pete: I was ambushed whilst delivering post in the wilderness, and I've not seen it since.
  • Player: Maybe you should quit whils you're 'a head'!
  • Postie Pete: ...
  • (Continues below.)
• Select an option
  • Any mail for me?
    • Player: Any mail for me?
    • (If no mail is available:)
      • Postie Pete: No sorry. I'll try and deliver another tomorrow.
      • (Returns to the previous options.)
    • (If mail is available:)
      • Postie Pete: Ah yes, a parcel was sent to you but it didn't quite manage to get there. Here it is.
      • The player receives the parcel.
      • (Returns to the previous options.)
  • What's with the parcels and stamps?
    • Player: What's with the parcels and stamps?
    • Postie Pete: The parcels are from the people of Gielinor to all the adventurers to thank them for all their hard work! I'll try to send you one each day for 30 days, and if you don't have enough space, just come and see me in Burthorpe once you do. If you want more, you'll just have to get out into the world and try doing something. I'm sure some mail will turn up.
    • Player: What are the postage stamps for?
    • Postie Pete: I'm always sending letters, so I'm interested in any spare postage stamps you may have. I'll even exchange them for an unclaimed parcel.
    • (Returns to the initial options.)
  • What's with your evil twin over there?
    • Player: What's with your evil twin over there?
    • Postie Pete: Oh, he's not evil, he's just a little slow.
    • Parcel Pete: I heard that!
    • Postie Pete: That is to say, he's my intern. I seem to spend most of my time on Gielinor delivering fanmail, so I'm training my brother to help out.
    • Player: So we'll get even more parcels?
    • Postie Pete: Yes, though truth be told he still has a lot to learn. He managed to somehow stick the fanmail to the parcels...
    • (Returns to the initial options.)
  • What's so special about the parcels you send me each day?
    • Player: What's so special about the parcels you send me each day?
    • Postie Pete: I have a couple of lost property packages in the post office, that you can take off my hands should you collect parcels from me frequently.
    • Player: But surely those packages belong to other people?
    • Postie Pete: My intern, Parcel, puts all the undeliverable mail in the lost property so I'm sure they wouldn't have gotten it anyway.
    • Postie Pete: Just check in each day and I'll send any mail your way.
    • (Returns to the initial options.)
  • What delivery options are there?
    • Player: What delivery options are there?
    • Postie Pete: I can send all parcels to you directly, or alternatively I can have them sent to your bank.
      • Send parcels to me directly.
        • Postie Pete: I'll send parcels to you directly as my priority.
        • (Returns to the initial options.)
      • Send parcels to my bank.
        • Postie Pete: I'll send parcels to your bank as my priority.
        • (Returns to the initial options.)

2019

Overhead lines

• (One of the following is seen occasionally:)
  • Postie Pete: It's time to give back, mail for everyone!
  • Postie Pete: Parcels from the Hedge!
  • Postie Pete: Post! Post! Post! There's so much post!

When talked to

• Postie Pete: Player! So great to hear from you.
• (Only on first time:)
  • Postie Pete: I don't suppose you've heard any news of my body perchance?
  • Player: Your body?
  • Postie Pete: Somebody was kind enough to find me one, but...
  • Postie Pete: I was ambushed whilst delivering post in the wilderness, and I've not seen it since.
  • Player: Maybe you should quit whils you're 'a head'!
  • Postie Pete: ...
  • (Continues below.)
• Select an option
  • Any mail for me?
    • Player: Any mail for me?
    • (If no mail is available, and more are available later:)
      • Postie Pete: No sorry. I'll try and deliver another tomorrow.
      • (Returns to the previous options.)
    • (If mail is available:)
      • (Without space to receive the parcel:)
        • Postie Pete: I do actually, but you don't seem to have space for it right now.
        • You would have received a parcel from Postie Pete; however, you did not have enough space. Postie Pete will hold onto your parcel for now.
        • (Returns to the previous options.)
      • (With space to receive the parcel:)
        • Postie Pete: Ah yes, a parcel was sent to you but it didn't quite manage to get there. Here it is.
        • The player receives the parcel.
        • (Returns to the previous options.)
    • (If all the daily parcels have been delivered:)
      • Postie Pete: No sorry, that was your last one.
      • (Returns to the previous options.)
  • What's with the parcels and stamps?
    • Player: What's with the parcels and stamps?
    • Postie Pete: The parcels are from the people of Gielinor to all the adventurers to thank them for all their hard work! I'll try to send you one each day for [30 or 26] days, and if you don't have enough space, just come and see me in Burthorpe once you do. If you want more, you'll just have to get out into the world and try doing something. I'm sure some mail will turn up.
    • Player: What are the postage stamps for?
    • Postie Pete: I'm always sending letters, so I'm interested in any spare postage stamps you may have. I'll even exchange them for an unclaimed parcel. Here, have a look at this, it has more information for you.
    • (Parcels from the Hedge interface opens.)
  • What's with your evil twin over there?
    • Player: What's with your evil twin over there?
    • Postie Pete: Oh, he's not evil, he's just a little slow.
    • Parcel Pete: I heard that!
    • Postie Pete: That is to say, he's my intern still. My brother has been helping me out with the postal service. He managed to solve the fan mail issue last time, so I've taken on some of this new ideas.
    • Player: What sort of ideas?
    • Postie Pete: We've installed a delivery and collection system where you can exchange your stamps for items that were previously obtainable in those parcels of ours. I'll also attempt to deliver any lost property you've earned when I deliver your daily parcel.
    • (Returns to the previous options.)
  • What's so special about the parcels you send me each day?
    • Player: What's so special about the parcels you send me each day?
    • Postie Pete: I have a couple of lost property packages in the post office, that you can take off my hands should you collect parcels from me frequently.
    • Player: But surely those packages belong to other people?
    • Postie Pete: My intern, Parcel, puts all the undeliverable mail in the lost property so I'm sure they wouldn't have gotten it anyway.
    • Postie Pete: Just check in each day and I'll send any mail your way.
    • (Returns to the initial options.)
  • What delivery options are there?
    • Player: What delivery options are there?
    • Postie Pete: I can send all parcels to you directly, or alternatively I can have them sent to your bank.
      • Send parcels to me directly.
        • Postie Pete: I'll send parcels to you directly as my priority.
        • (Returns to the initial options.)
      • Send parcels to my bank.
        • Postie Pete: I'll send parcels to your bank as my priority.
        • (Returns to the initial options.)

Presents from the Sledge

2021

Talk to

Before the beginning of 3 January 2022

• SELECT AN OPTION
  • What are you two up to?
    • Postie Pete: Player! It's wonderful to see you. I could do with your help, actually. I'm right in the middle of a total disaster.
    • Player: You seem happy for a skull in that position.
    • Postie Pete: THE TINSEL IS INSIDE THE TREE.
    • Player: ...
    • Postie Pete: THE SNAPLESS CRACKER MAKES NO SOUND.
    • Player: ...
    • Postie Pete: THE SNOWFLAKES HAVE POINTY EARS.
    • Player: ...
    • Postie Pete: The Head Elf is watching me and I don't want here to know there is a problem.
    • Parcel Pete: *Clack clack. Click clack clack. Clack clack. Click click click. Click.*
      • (Translates from Morse Code to "IDIOT")
    • Player: I... see. So what is the problem?
    • Pete turns his skull to hide his expression from the Head Elf.
    • Postie Pete: Santa asked for my help with the wrapping this year, he has busy helping the Queen of Snow plan her party.
    • Postie Pete: I offered my brother's services, and he has diligently wrapped all of the presents we were provided.
    • Player: That sounds like a big help. Well done, Petes!
    • Postie Pete: Unfortunately, Pete appears to have had something of a lapse of judgement.
    • Parcel Pete: ...
    • Postie Pete: I can just about understand why you wrapped them all in parcel paper, but why did you wrap all your normal parcels in wrapping paper?
    • Player: Can't you just ask Santa for some more wrapping paper?
    • Postie Pete: And sully the name of Pete? Incur the wrath of the Head Elf? I'd rather be a skullball.
    • Postie Pete: Besides, I'll only need to subtly ask twelve million three hundred and forty three more adventurers and passers by to hand over some wrapping paper before we have enough to re-wrap everything.
    • Pete returns to his original position.
    • Postie Pete: Anyway, glad I finally got that letter to you, Player!
    • Pete gives you a sly wink.
    • (Shows the previous options.)
  • How can I help?
    • Postie Pete: Help? Everything is fine, Player. We're well ahead of schedule.
    • Pete turns his skull to hide his expression from the Head Elf.
    • Postie Pete: Oh, Player... We are SO behind schedule.
    • Postie Pete: Wrapping paper, we need more wrapping paper!
    • Player: Where can I find wrapping paper?
    • Postie Pete: The way Pete has given it out you can find it just about anywhere at any time...
    • Parcel Pete: *Clack clack clack. Click click click. Clack click clack. Clack click clack. Click Clack click click.*
      • (Translates from Morse Code to "SORRY")
    • Postie Pete: We can spare a few presents here and there. I'll give you one for every 200 Christmas wrapping paper you bring me.
    • Player: What is inside?
    • Postie Pete: This and that. Honestly, with how rushed we are I've been wrapping anything I can find. There are even some green santa hats in there, I think they sent us a shipment by mistake.
    • Pete returns to his original position.
    • Postie Pete: Lovely to see you as always, Player!
    • Pete gives you a sly wink.
    • (Shows the previous options.)
  • Exchange wrapping paper.
    • Pete turns his skull to hide his expression from the Head Elf.
    • Postie Pete: Show me the colour of your paper, Player.
    • (With less than 200 Christmas wrapping paper:)
      • Postie Pete: You don't have any Christmas wrapping paper for me.
    • (With at least 200 Christmas wrapping paper:)
      • You exchange your wrapping paper and receive:
      • (One of the following is repeated for each type of present received:)
        • [number] x White Christmas Present
        • [number] x Blue Christmas Present
        • [number] x Purple Christmas Present
        • [number] x Gold Christmas Present

After the beginning of 3 January 2022

• Postie Pete: The event is over now, but you can still trade in any paper you have until 17th January!
• HAND IN WRAPPING PAPER?
  • Yes.
    • (Same as above.)
  • No
    • Postie Pete: See you around!

Exchange paper

• (Same as above.)

Present info

• Present Information interface opens.

2022

Talk to

During the event

• SELECT AN OPTION
  • What's going on here?
    • Postie Pete: It's wonderful to see you Player.
    • Pete checks that the Head Elf is distracted by his brothers dulcet tones.
    • Postie Pete: I could do with your help, actually. I'm right in the middle of another total disaster.
    • Postie Pete: My brother and I were again helping Santa with wrapping this year, to avoid the mistakes of last year, we ordered some awfully garish paper to make sure we knew what boxes are presents and what are parcels.
    • Postie Pete: However, we foolishly decided to store the paper in a singular wicker container. In our workshop where we've also been tinkering with festive dyes.
    • Postie Pete: But, our construction skills are not fantastic, due to the lack of appendages. and our workstation collapsed! Spilling dye all over the paper!
    • Postie Pete: Which admittedly did improve the appearance of the paper, but the consistency was ruined, making it unusable.
    • Player: Well, there's no use crying over split dye.
    • Postie Pete: Too soon Player.
    • Player: Sorry, how can I help?
    • Postie Pete: Get out there and find any replacement paper for us. We lost a few shipments of paper in an unrelated paper glider competition. So, there's plenty around and you should be able to find some with most of your day to day activities.
    • Postie Pete: We have some spare presents. I can reward you with one of these for every 200 paper you bring me.
    • Postie Pete: As some extra thanks. I'll have a bonus present you can come and claim off me once every day as well.
    • Postie Pete: I wouldn't be surprised if some bottles of Aurora dye ended up in these presents as we were tidying up too.
    • Postie Pete: If we, by which I mean you, play this right. We should be able to recover this colourful but disastrous situation. While maintaining our reputation as Gielinors' premier parcel posters.
    • (Shows the previous options.)
  • What's in the presents?
    • Present Information interface opens.
  • Exchange wrapping paper.
    • (With less than 200 Christmas wrapping paper:)
      • Postie Pete: I can't give you any presents until you have at least 200 wrapping paper for me.
    • (With at least 200 Christmas wrapping paper:)
      • Player has a multiple of 200 Christmas wrapping paper removed from them. Player receives presents.
      • You exchange [number] wrapping paper and receive:
      • (One of the following is repeated for each type of present received, then continues below:)
        • [number] x White Christmas Present
        • [number] x Blue Christmas Present
        • [number] x Purple Christmas Present
        • [number] x Gold Christmas Present
      • (Repeated in a pop-up, with the lines appearing as above:)
        • You exchange [number] wrapping paper and receive:
          [number] x White Christmas Present
          [number] x Blue Christmas Present
          [number] x Purple Christmas Present
          [number] x Gold Christmas Present
  • Claim daily present.
    • (Having claimed the daily present when it's not 25 December:)
      • Postie Pete: You've already claimed today's present.
      • (Continues below.)
    • (Having claimed the daily present when it's 25 December:)
      • Postie Pete: You've already claimed today's presents.
      • (Continues below.)
    • (Without having claimed the daily present:)
      • (Without space in backpack:)
        • Postie Pete: You don't have enough backpack space for your present.
      • (With space in backpack when it's not 25 December:)
        • (Random one of the following occurs, then continues below:)
          • (If a white present is received:)
            • Player receives White Christmas Present (2022).
            • Postie Pete gives you 1 x White Christmas Present.
          • (If a blue present is received:)
            • Player receives Blue Christmas Present (2022).
            • Postie Pete gives you 1 x Blue Christmas Present.
          • (If a purple present is received:)
            • (Transcript missing. edit)
          • (If a gold present is received:)
            • (Transcript missing. edit)
      • (With space in backpack when it's 25 December:)
        • Postie Pete: Merry Christmas, Player!
        • (Random one of the following occurs, then continues below:)
          • (If a white present is received:)
            • Player receives three White Christmas Presents.
            • Postie Pete gives you 3 x White Christmas Present.
          • (If a blue present is received:)
            • (Transcript missing. edit)
          • (If a purple present is received:)
            • (Transcript missing. edit)
          • (If a gold present is received:)
            • (Transcript missing. edit)
    • (If it's not the last day of the event:)
      • Postie Pete: Be sure to come back tomorrow!
  • Goodbye.
    • Player: This goes to show. You shouldn't put all your gaudy festive paper in one basket.
    • Postie Pete (with Parcel Pete pictured): *Fwoop Fwoop toot. Fwoop fwoop fwoop. Fwoop fwoop fwoop. Fwoop toot toot. Fwoop fwoop fwoop. Fwoop toot. Toot.
    • (The above reads "GOODONE" in Morse code when the "fwoops" are interpreted as dashes and "toots" as dots.)
    • Postie Pete : Please leave.

After the event

• Postie Pete : The event is over now, but you can still trade in any paper you have until the end of 29th January!
• HAND IN WRAPPING PAPER?
  • Yes.
    • (Same as above.)
  • No.
    • Postie Pete : See you around!

Exchange paper

• (Same as above.)

Present info

• Present Information interface opens.

Claim daily present

During the event

• (Same as above.)

After the event

• Postie Pete: I'm afraid I'm no longer giving out daily presents as the event is now over.

Parcels from the Dead

Talk to

During the event

• Select an Option
  • What's going on here?
    • Player: What's going on here?
    • Postie Pete: Great timing, Player, I could really use a hand again!
    • Player: Of course Pete, what did you do this time?
    • Postie Pete: What did I do?! Why do you assume -
    • Postie Pete: Never mind, no time for that! I've taken on a big job from downstairs, Pete is busy with his own responsibilities, the rest of our family don't really have their head in the the game anymore...
    • Postie Pete: ...and I've only gone and lost all of the delivery instructions again!
    • Player: Oh dear, what happened?
    • Postie Pete: Ill wind's back. Took everything. Again. I should really invest in paperweights.
    • Postie Pete: If I don't complete this order it's my neck on the line!
    • Player: I'm sure I can help; what do you need me to do?
    • Postie Pete: That would be brilliant - if you find any last wills in your travels please bring them back to us!
    • Player: You lost last wills? Who is this order for, Pete?
    • Postie Pete: Don't worry about it! For every 100 last wills you bring me, I should have something to reward you.
    • Postie Pete: We already have a surplus of unclaimed belongings, so perhaps I could give you those. I'll even throw in one for free every day as a way of showing my appreciation.
    • Postie Pete: Lost parcels turn up from everyone... even Death. No idea what he ordered, but I'm not opening it.
  • What's in the parcels?
    • (Continues below.)
  • Exchange last wills.
    • (Continues below.)
  • Claim daily parcel.
    • (Continues below.)
  • Goodbye.
    • Postie Pete: Good luck finding those last wills, be sure to come back with any you collect.
    • Player: Will do. See you later Pete.

After the event

• Postie Pete: The event is over now, but you can still trade in any last wills. You have until the end of the 16th November!
• Hand in last wills?
  • Yes.
    • (Continues below.)
  • No.
    • Postie Pete: See you around!

Exchange last wills

With fewer than 100 last wills

• Postie Pete: I can't give you any parcels until you have at least 100 last wills for me.

With at least 100 last wills

Without enough backpack space

• Postie Pete: You need at least 5 backpack spaces for me to give you your parcels.

With enough backpack space

• Player has as many sets of 100 last wills as possible removed from them. Player receives belongings.
• You exchange [number] last wills and receive:
• (If Small Forgotten Belongings were received:)
  • [number] x Small Forgotten Belongings
  • (Continues below.)
• (If Medium Forgotten Belongings were received:)
  • [number] x Medium Forgotten Belongings
  • (Continues below.)
• (If Large Forgotten Belongings were received:)
  • [number] x Large Forgotten Belongings
  • (Continues below.)
• (If Death's Forgotten Belongings were received:)
  • [number] x Death's Forgotten Belongings
  • (Continues below.)
• (If Soulful Forgotten Belongings were received:)
  • (Transcript missing. edit)
  • (Continues below.)
• (Repeated in a pop-up, with the corresponding belonging line only appearing if that kind of belonging was received:)
  • You exchange [number] last wills and receive:
    [number] x Small Forgotten Belongings
    [number] x Medium Forgotten Belongings
    [number] x Large Forgotten Belongings
    [number] x Death's Forgotten Belongings

Parcel info

• (The following is shown in an interface titled "FORGOTTEN BELONGINGS INFORMATION":)
  • Open the belongings for loot, and a chance at special prizes!
  • 

    Small Forgotten Belongings
    • INFO
      • The interface changes to one titled "SMALL FORGOTTEN BELONGINGS" with the following content:)
        • Contains 3 of the following rewards.
        • (The rewards are listed.)
          • BACK
            • (Shows the previous options.)
  • 

    Medium Forgotten Belongings
    • INFO
      • The interface changes to one titled "MEDIUM FORGOTTEN BELONGINGS" with the following content:)
        • Contains 3 of the following rewards.
        • (The rewards are listed.)
          • BACK
            • (Shows the previous options.)
  • 

    Large Forgotten Belongings
    • INFO
      • The interface changes to one titled "LARGE FORGOTTEN BELONGINGS" with the following content:)
        • Contains 3 of the following rewards.
        • (The rewards are listed.)
          • BACK
            • (Shows the previous options.)
  • 

    Death's Forgotten Belongings
    • INFO
      • The interface changes to one titled "DEATH'S FORGOTTEN BELONGINGS" with the following content:)
        • Cotnains a Huge lamp, Bonus XP star (huge), and one of these tradeable rewards.
        • (The rewards are listed.)
          • BACK
            • (Shows the previous options.)
  • 

    Soulful Forgotten Belongings
    • INFO
      • The interface changes to one titled "SOULFUL FORGOTTEN BELONGINGS" with the following content:)
        • Contains 1 of the following rewards.
        • (The rewards are listed.)
          • BACK
            • (Shows the previous options.)

Claim daily reward

During the event

Having claimed the daily belongings

• Postie Pete: I've already given you a reward today, I have nothing else for you.
• (If there are still future daily rewards to claim:)
  • Postie Pete: Be sure to come back tomorrow!

Without having claimed the daily belongings

Without free backpack space

• Postie Pete:You don't have enough backpack space for the reward I have for you.

With free backpack space

• Player receives belongings.
• (If Small Forgotten Belongings were received:)
  • 

    Postie Pete gives you 1 x Small Forgotten Belongings.
  • (Continues below.)
• (If Medium Forgotten Belongings were received:)
  • 

    Postie Pete gives you 1 x Medium Forgotten Belongings.
  • (Continues below.)
• (If Large Forgotten Belongings were received:)
  • 

    Postie Pete gives you 1 x Large Forgotten Belongings.
  • (Continues below.)
• (If Death's Forgotten Belongings were received:)
  • (Transcript missing. edit)
• (If Soulful Forgotten Belongings were received:)
  • (Transcript missing. edit)
• (If there are still future daily rewards to claim:)
  • Postie Pete: Be sure to come back tomorrow!

After the event

• Postie Pete: I'm afraid I've got no more daily rewards to give you - I can still exchange any last wills you have, though.