User:Leevclarke/Max Bulldog

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Total level: 1850
Attack 67Constitution 68Mining 77
Strength 67Agility 73Smithing 77
Defence 70Herblore 72Fishing 76
Ranged 68Thieving 70Cooking 89
Prayer 70Crafting 83Firemaking 88
Magic 76Fletching 82Woodcutting 91
Runecrafting 69Slayer 72Farming 89
Construction 67Hunter 71Summoning 67
Dungeoneering 51Divination 1Invention 1
Archaeology 1Combat 95Quests 255
Music 585Tasks ----RuneScore ----
As of 12 September 2010
Hover for XP and rank. Ranks for RuneScape.

Max Bulldog, known to the Fremenniks as Jikton, and unofficially titled as Lord Kelda of Rimmington (see below) is leevclarke's in-game character, and is usually found running around UK servers. His vision is equally good in both eyes, though he is rarely without an eye patch over his right eye (except when wearing a helm or other headwear, of course).

Max's clan is named "Druimeanach" (which is the modern Scottish Gaelic word for leevclarke's real-life ancestral clan, Clan Drummond), but he is more likely to be found in the wiki clan chat, R S Wikia.

The name came from an empty can of Pepsi Max that happened to be on leevclarke's computer desk at the time, and the fact that he is a patriot of his country - the Bulldog being a symbol of Britishness. Max was not modelled on Andy Parsons or Keith Jardine (with the bald head and facial hair in the correct colour), he just happened to turn out that way.

Note that Max does not appreciate being nicknamed "Max Bullshit" or "Max Ballbag". Anyone who considers addressing him as such is referred to the following limerick:

If messing around for a lark
With a user called leevclarke,
Don't think that he's skittish,
He's a bulldog, he's British,
And his bite is much worse than his bark.

Pets[edit | edit source]

Max Bulldog's Profile
P2P icon.png This user is a member.
This user has 0.3 out of 10 black marks, putting him/her in the green zone.
Private chat button.png This user has private chat on! Talk with me anytime.
We hate people who call lower level players 'noobs'.
This user is a noob protector.
Assist icon.png This user is willing to assist other players in the game.
This user will lend items without charging, and expects the same in return from others when borrowing.
This user is an achiever.
Saradomin symbol.png This user follows Saradomin.
Strength through wisdom.
Owner clan rank.png This user is the owner of the clan Druimeanach.
Gilded throne icon.png This user has a player-owned house with details here.
Master thief's armband.png This user is a member of the Black Arm Gang.
The Fremennik Trials icon.png This user is known to the Fremenniks as Jikton.
Cat 1

Having completed Gertrude's Cat, Max's first pet was a black and white kitten who never even had a name. Unfortunately, Max was too busy killing chickens at Fred the Farmer's farm north of Lumbridge to feed the kitten properly, and he ran away.  :'(


Max's second cat was white, and was unofficially named Casper. Casper survived to adulthood, but Max decided on a whim to sell him for one hundred death runes in West Ardougne.


Max's next pet was a pet fish. The fish has never had a name, and spent most of his time in the bank before Jagex added the menagerie. The fish now has a happy home in Max's house.


After the Summoning update of the 15 January 2008, Max promptly completed the Wolf Whistle quest and then bought a bulldog puppy from the pet shop in Yanille on the same day.

After eating quite a few pieces of raw meat (for which many cows at the farm north of Lumbridge valiantly but unwillingly sacrificed their lives), the puppy finally grew up into a bulldog on the 18 January 2008. Max called him Bully.

Tragically, Bully ran away on the 25 January 2008 because Max failed to feed him enough.  :-( Max will never forget him...


Max now has another bulldog, a female unofficially called Maggie (named after Margaret Thatcher).



On the 24 May 2008, Max bought another kitten from Gertrude. This time, he had the activated ring of charos, and chose a kitty that he unofficially named "Evans". Why? Because he is named after Chris Evans, who is also white and ginger. Evans has been a wise and faithful companion, and accompanied Max through Icthlarin's Little Helper and A Tail of Two Cats. Evans has since become an overgrown cat, but is much-loved.

Evans is now a purple cat.

On the 30 October 2008, Evans became a purple cat, and later the same day he became a lazy cat. Max thinks that Evans has earned the right to be a lazy cat, after all that he has been through.


On the 30 May 2008, Max bought yet another kitten from Gertrude and unofficially named him Jonesy, after the cat from Alien.

On the 4 June 2008, Jonesy became a hell-kitten (and subsequently a hellcat) whilst helping Max to complete Evil Dave's part of Recipe for Disaster.

The very next day (the 5 June 2008), Jonesy caught his 100th rat, and Gertrude kindly awarded Max with a cat training medal.

With Jonesy's help, Max went on to complete Ratcatchers on the same day.

High points[edit | edit source]

  • Max gained his 1000th total skill point somewhere around the beginning of 2008.
  • Max completed Legacy of Seergaze on the 23 April 2008, just one day after it was released - he hoped to complete this quest on the very day it was released, but it was not to be. Better luck next time...
  • Max finally owned over a million coins in cash on the 15 May 2008. The exact figure was 1,425,879 coins, and by the end of that night it was 1,879,888 coins.
  • On 23 February 2009, Max attended the extemporaneous wedding of Kristofer and Christine, and subsequently became godson to their first child, Max Jedi Pika Power. Max Junior was born on the same day as the wedding, and was named after Max Bulldog, Jediadam4, Pikaandpi and Powers38 (in that order), who all attended the wedding.

Low points[edit | edit source]

  • On the 14 January 2008, Max was muted for one day after it appeared that he was trying to buy someone else's account. In reality, he was just making the real perpetrator say explicitly that he was selling an account so that he could report him, but he was still punished under rule 6
  • On the 22 January 2008, at combat level 55, Max had only 908 coins to his name. He had spent a lot on the new Summoning skill and on Construction.
  • Some time in the last week of March 2008, Max became what he despised, and actually begged. Yes, he stood in the bank in Catherby and asked whether anyone had weeds they would give him for free (hey, he had a compost potion to use up, OK?). Even worse, some kind soul took pity on him and gave him some. Ironically, Max ended up with a huge surplus.
  • On the 11 May 2008, Max was muted for one day and temporarily banned from the RuneScape Forums for saying "I'm Barry Scott!" in the public chat. Apparently some ignoramus thought he was revealing his real name (!), and reported him under rule 13. What was worse, Jagex took it seriously and rejected his appeal, even when he pointed out that he had not revealed any personal details at all.
  • On the 15 July 2008, Max had a new record low in his wealth of only 13 coins in cash. He made a miscalculation when buying spirit shards in Taverley. It wasn't so much that he didn't carry the one, but more that he carried it too far...
  • On the 10 June 2009, made a small mistake in a PvP world and ended up getting skulled then killed. He lost his dragon platebody, dragon platelegs and dragon 2h sword, worth approximately 10.3 million coins in total. Ouch and a half.

Photo gallery[edit | edit source]

Portraits of Max[edit | edit source]

Max in his full melee armour, which consists of full rune including rune boots. His shield and helm are heraldic. Max_Bulldog_full_2008-08-02.png Max in one of his favourite outfits. The jacket is by Thessalia, and the trousers are by Agmundi. The matching boots and gloves are courtesy of Humans Against Monsters, and the whole ensemble is accessorised with the trademark eyepatch.

This was going to be Max's entry into the costume contest of the Summer 2008 Wikifest, but it was rather too crowded, and he ended up being overlooked.  :-( Oh well, there is always next season...

Yes, he is. And he's the only one in the village. Max_gay.png Max as an Arab. This is stylish and practical, since it protects Max from the desert heat as well as helping him to blend in with the locals of the Kharidian Desert. Well, that and the all-purpose phrase "Derka derka derka". max_bulldog_arab.png
Max had to disguise himself as a ghost in Ghosts Ahoy. He can still occasionally be found shuffling around Port Phasmatys saying "Woooo wooo woooooo!" You know, just to amuse / freak out the other players. max_bulldog_ghost.png Arr! Max bought himself this outfit in preparation for International Talk Like a Pirate Day 2008. max_bulldog_pirate_red.png
Max in his full acrobat costume max_bulldog_acrobat.png Max in his full H.A.M. robes. Down with the non-humans! Human power! Et cetera. max_bulldog_ham.png
Max changed to the female gender for Recruitment Drive. He tried it out for a brief while after completing the quest, but it didn't really suit him. max_female.png Max became a bunny for the 2008 Easter event. It was worth it for the chocatrice cape. max_bulldog_bunny.png
Oops, how did this one sneak in? This is not Max at all, but mixed martial artist Keith Jardine.

Modified from a photograph by Ben Kevan (source).

KeithJardinemod.png Max dressed as a ghost in Port Phasmatys max_bulldog_ghost_detail.png

Miscellaneous[edit | edit source]

In the early hours of 28 March 2009, Max was passed by a chicken conga line. This was not a set-up (or if it was then Max was not in on it), there just happened to be a line of eight people in chicken sets, each following the one in front of them. They passed Max when he was in the bank in Draynor Village, and he followed them east through Lumbridge, and watched them cross the bridge over the River Lum. If you need proof, here it is.


Videos[edit | edit source]

Fantastic Max[edit | edit source]

Here's another Max, who is also Fantastic... In fact, it's the original Fantastic Max.

Original video

Brian from Ideal[edit | edit source]

Max was not modelled on Brian from the BBC Three series Ideal, although he has borrowed the characteristic "hi hi" from him.