The Tale of Cook Me Plox:
The tale started long ago, in a little place called Goblin Village. The goblins went about their lives, killing random squirrels and arguing about if green or red armor was better. One day, a player named PKMaster0036 thought up a plan to get a goblin challenge scroll. He snuck into goblin village and planted a Barrel Bomb mixed with crushed nature runes and crushed cosmic runes. Once he got out of range, he detotnated the bomb. Hundreds of goblins died in an instant, but something weird happened to the goblin closest to bomb. Instead of killing him, the bomb mutated him. He was changed into a human, made smarter, given a nearly unlimited attention span, and the desire to make almost bot like edits. He was changed into Cook Me Plox.
Cook searched and found the RS wiki. He stormed and took over almost all tasks. Anything that was needed, he would do and not let anyone else help him. Some claimed that Cook had a god complex. He would even quickly edit a page to prevent someone else's edits from being shown. Well, after a few days and several editing wars, one user had enough. He snapped and swore to destroy the wiki and Cook in the process. His first attack was spamming Cook's user page with a hundred copies of the entire US Constitution. Cook struck back with a thousand copies. That was the last straw.
The user changed his name to the Destroyer. He went to a hill a few miles away from the Wiki's hq, and summoned up a massive troll army. Cook spotted the army and teleported right to it. Jumping over the army, he charged straight at the Destroyer. They engaged in a short sword duel before the Destroyer kicked Cook straight into the heart of the army. The army surrounded Cook. In that instant, Cook knew he couldn't defeat them all alone.
Cook sent out a call, a call asking for anyone who could to do so. Right away, an army arrived. Zammy jumped in front of Cook and stabbed a troll with his trusted Zamorak spear. Joey threw a Red chinchompa at a group of trolls. Rsa struck lightning at the army. Suppa threw a rune javelin which impaled a troll in the gut. As the wiki's army attacked the trolls, Zammy looked back at Cook and said "Go! We got this!".
Cook teleported back to face the Destroyer. Wielding his trusted warhammer, Cook said "This ends now!" The Destroyer pulled out dual Dragon Scimitars and yelled "********************* COOK!". The Destroyer sliced and diced at Cook, who hit every strike away with his rune warhammer. Cook swung his hammer at the Destroyer, but the Destroyer stopped it cold between his dual swords. The fight continued like this for some time, neither side able to get an edge over the other.
Then, the Destroyer threw one of his swords at Cook. Cook quickly sidestepped, but fell into the Destroyer's improvised plan. He swung his sword so hard that it knocked Cook's warhammer right out of his hands, and then kicked Cook onto the ground. The Destroyer started to advance at the unarmed Cook. At that moment, Guthix arrived, who missed the initial call because of a small task he had to do. Seeing the battle, he grabbed his Bandos Godsword, ran right behind the Destroyer, and sliced him right down the back with the Warstrike. The sudden attack surprised the Destroyer, who turned to face Guthix. The two locked swords, the Destroyer determined to kill the man who gave him a nasty surprise attack. Cook got up off the ground, picked up his warhammer, and swung it at the Destroyer with all the force he could gather. He knocked the Destroyer straight into a tree. Cook swung his hammer once more, and creamed the Destroyer with a perm ban.