User:Dionisio

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Dungeoneering.png This user believes that the Dungeoneering "skill" is a gussied-up mini game.
"Eat more chicken!" This user is a member of the Cow Liberation Front.
"Bovinae vindico nunc!"


P2P icon.png This user is a {{{1}}} member.
Master thief's armband.png This user is a member of the Black Arm Gang.
Penguin (item).png This user is a friend of the penguins.
Gilded throne icon.png This user has a player-owned house with details here.
A WikiOgre. This user is a WikiOgre.
Guthix symbol.png This user followed Guthix.
Balance is power.
en This user speaks English.
es Este usuario habla español.
日本語 このユーザーは日本語を話す。
Aberrant Spectre Champion's scroll.png This user is in the Champions' Guild.
Chef's hat.png This user is in the Cooks' Guild.
Brown apron.png This user is in the Crafting Guild.
Harpoon.png This user is in the Fishing Guild.
Dragon battleaxe.png This user is in the Heroes' Guild.
Rune pickaxe.png This user is in the Mining Guild.
Holy symbol.png This user is in the Monastery.
Yew shortbow.png This user is in the Ranging Guild.
Omni-talisman.png This user is in the Runecrafting Guild.
Thieving.png This user is in the Thieves' Guild.


Dragon defender.png This user is in the Warriors' Guild.
Mystic robe top (blue).png This user is in the Wizards' Guild.
UTC-5 This user's time zone is UTC-5, and is currently observing daylight saving time.
some This user has made some edits on the RuneScape wiki.
Wiki.png This user edits the RuneScape Wiki when bored.
Private chat button.png This user has private chat set to friends.
Chocolate bar.png This user loves chocolate.
Pat of butter detail.png This user doesn't believe it's not butter.
Bucket of milk detail.png This player Got Milk.


I play as a jack-of-all-trades. Member since September 2007, but total skills are over 2,000 and growing.

As I go through the game, I'm checking what's documented and what's not. Thus, many of my edits will be either new info or refinements. However, working for a school does instill a certain intolerance for bad grammar and typos too...

I hear this question rather reliably: "Are you freakin' nuts?!?" It has its variants, the words change over the ages of slang, but the thought is still the same.

Each time it surprises me when it is uttered by someone whom has had more than 48 hours of total continuous exposure to me. (It doesn't take long, folks who know me will tell you if you ask.)

I'm also eccentric, nerdy, just plain weird, and occasionally flabbergasted at how long it takes some folks to catch on.
— Dionisio 2009/11/16


Multicannon eccentricity[edit | edit source]

A Dwarf Multicannon.

Decided that I wanted a multicannon for Christmas.

Got it a bit early.

From now on [2007/12/01] I will periodically be seen blasting the Lumbridge cows into oblivion.

Some folks say that's noob behavior, but for me it is a satisfying alternative to putting a shrink's kids through college. (Grew up in a semi-rural area, with full-rural relatives. One had a dairy farm, and one raised sheep. Got to "volunteer" my time quite often. Sheep are too stupid to kill, but cows...)

Deal with it.

Not only do I have one, I've been fired from one!
To The Tune of "I Wanna Hippopotamus for Christmas."
"I wanna multicannon for Christmas."

I wanna multicannon for Christmas.
Only a Dwarven one will do.
Don't mean to raise a fuss.
But, I wanna blow things up!
Boom, Bo-Boom, Boom, Boom; Boom, Boom, Bo-Boom!

The first foray into the realm of "blasting cows to kingdom come" was heralded with the announcement that, "This meeting of the Cow Liberation Front is now convened!"


Oddities[edit | edit source]

Grew up playing Dungeons and Dragons, so I was warped from an early age. :-)

Following are some things I do from time to time...

  • "ALIENS!!!": Use the Puro-Puro portals to claim that I'm being abducted. (Freaked out a Player Moderator once.) "Call Agent Moulder!!!"

  • Burning bush: Not the former US President, but the Marker plant placed atop a fire.

  • Campfire: (RETIRED due to rework of Ring of Stone. See: Volcano) Light a fire, or "borrow" one, use a Ring of stone on top of it, and ask players if they have marshmallows or S'mores. Alternately, I may trigger the Redemption prayer and claim to be the "Flame of Love" or use Retribution to become something else.

Did you hear? Something escaped the zoo!
They were setting up a new plant exhibit, but...
The carnivorous cabbages burst their cage!
They're on the loose!
Run for your lives!!!"
[Quickly type in "death scream"], [Trigger ring], [Hit <Enter>]"



  • "Cow Liberation Front": Founder. I liberate cows from the perilous confines of the mortal plane. No more starvation in times of drought! No more suffering the indignity of inept butchers! No more bland grass! Their souls are released -- in efficacious and absurd manners -- to that grand Pasture in the Sky. There they shall dwell contentedly in the Land of Alfalfa and Rose Bushes; Where no scents of burnt steak shall trouble their placid minds ever again...

  • Dept. of Redundancy: (Retired due to EOC taking out skulling.) Take one Bone brooch, a visit to the Abyss, and then an inquiry: "I'm from the Dept. of Redundancy. Have you seen my backup?"

  • Peng trapping: As world 60 is "home," I will sometimes do a trapping run. I will combine various other oddities -- me favorite is the campfire/Flames of Passion -- to draw folks to the location. (The Ring of stone is quite handy for this. Get walked over? Change state, and you're a "wall" again.) I have also taken to using my construction cape as a beacon: Triggering the emote to draw attention. Will also have fun with players who thank the "talking rock."

    "Talking rock?!? What talking rock? Are u stoned? Oh, wait, that's me. Nevermind."

  • Spork! Spork! Spork!: Quite by accident, I discovered I could wield the spork whilst being a Jester. Been having fun with that...

  • "Super Defrost": Was fun while it lasted, but can no longer do due to an update. Used to trigger the Freeze and Melt emote and a Ring of Stone to claim I was doing the "very dangerous" Super Defrost. When the ice was at the low point, and just starting to rise up again, I'd activate the ring. Players would see someone melting, and then turning into rocks. "Anyone got some glue? Anyone???"

  • Volcano: The reworked Ring of Stone, plus a visit to Xuan, lets me become a volcano now. I still offer to do marshmallows. :-)

  • Wish: Take one Random event, get box.
    With Ring of Stone ready, type in "Hmm... A magic lamp... [rubs] Hey genie, I wish to rock!"
    <Quickly select the XP lamp option of the random event box (causes the genie to appear) and trigger Ring of Stone.>
    Quickly type in "Stupid genie..." and hit <Enter>.
    Players will see you "wish," the genie telling you to "enjoy," and then see you turn into a pile of rocks and say "Stupid genie..."

    Alternately, one could use the bone brooch and "Wish to loose weight."

Skill Cape[edit | edit source]

Construction Emote.gif

Decided on a difficult objective: My first skill cape? The Construction one. (Hey, if it were easy, everyone would have one, yes?) I have seen it untrimmed all of 10 times in slightly under 5 years.

Got it on July 31st, 2010. Decided to "wish" for it via a random event lamp reward. Got to XP-lamp range and then let the lamp push me over the edge...

Hey, Genie! I wish for 99 Construction!
[quick series of clicks to trigger lamp and fireworks]
Man, if I'd known it was this easy...
— Dionisio 2010/07/31

First hater achieved about 10 minutes later. (Hey, I was maxed. Not my fault he and his effigy didn't find me sooner.)

With 99, I completed the Dungeon. (Floor plan located here.) Opted for a very short, simple, and sadistic dungeon. Alas, I succeeded beyond my expectations. Fire pit in the oubliette, teleport traps in the hall, and a dragon guarding the treasure. (That's right, three rooms.) Test run #1? Died. Test run #2? Died. Test run #3? Technically, I lived through it. (23 HP does count as "alive.")

On 2012/02/11, had the pleasure of watching it take out a combat 127 player multiple times. Also had the alarming experience of watching fireballs arc through the seating space of the parlor while I was chatting with other clannies. (Dragon was going for distance, he's actually a room south of the parlor.) Was just sitting in the rocking chair, and this fireball launches out of the floor, flies over my head, and nips back into the floor. Most alarming. LOL!

Time to build the bank account back up...

I shall be running around with that untrimmed cape for quite some time. There are many quests to do, other skills to level, money to make, diversions to take, GP to stock up on, pranks to pull... And did I mention replenishing the bank account? LOL!

Originally, my plan was to go head-to-head with Jamandy52 for the #1 Untrimmed spot. But, I'll be darned if they didn't blast to 200M construction XP, *AND* manage to do so untrimmed! She's secured the #20 spot on the Construction High Scores. Most Impressive! So now I play "tag" with Elvis. :=)

Conbeast has the #1 untrimmed con cape now. But #2 ain't bad. 53M Construction and rising. :-)


Observations:[edit | edit source]

It has been my pleasure to assist several million Construction xp. However, it is wise to ask for the highest effigy to be assisted first. There aren't that many of us, and we may already have done a non-97 assist...

World 117's Dungeoneering area is the unofficial "help center" for those needing or those offering effigy assistance. It tends to be crowded and sometimes the text can scroll faster than one can click on the assistance offer. (Try quickly setting chat to "friends" if this happens. For some reason, offers from non-friends will still show up. But, more importantly, the scrolling stops.)

Don't see someone offering assistance? Look carefully. There is a trend among the coveted-cape-wearers to be utterly silent. We do the skill-cape emote and that's that. Why? We can only help one or two players. It makes no sense to get mobbed, as that generally leads to folks getting unhappy; Also, it rewards those who are observant instead of those who spam or utilize bots.

Oh, and one more thing: Some of us don't accept gp. Don't see us accepting your "trade" request? Hmm... Could be that we don't operate that way; That "Trade" is "Off," or set to "Friends."

(My thinking is that if you need money, you're not worthy; Or at the very least, you're greedy. "Elitist"? Yes. I'm in the top 100, and going for the top 50. And I've got plenty of $$-making skill levels to spare... "Insane" is also a fair charge; As are many other terms... LOL!)

Glitches[edit | edit source]

  • Found me first glitch with the Easter 2009 event! :-) Players who used the Redemption prayer and then triggered the Easter 2009 emote would leave their heart behind. This glitch was fixed with the 2009-11-09 update.
  • Found my second one, amusingly, on the Day of the Dead in 2009. Players can -- literally -- get higher than a kite. LOL!
  • Found #3 on 2010-05-23. A variation of the "speeding prayer," players can "leave their heart at the altar" by teletabing...
  • Four was the so-popular-it-was-site-announced-to-STOP-UPLOADING Cyclopean helmet stretch glitch. LOL!
  • Five was a refinement of the way to quickly get through the second room of the 2010 Christmas event. Enter and use Bone broach, Easter ring, or Ring of stone and then unmorph. It glitched the game, allowing one to stand and run, as well as "rest" to restore your run energy. Technically "naughty", but ain't that part of the whole mythos? <crosses fingers>
  • Number six also came from the 2010 Christmas Event. If you use the Squirrel ears to summon your little vermin, you will not be able to build snowmen so long as they are present.

Misc.[edit | edit source]

  • It is my belief that the penguins represent either the greatest comedy act of all time, or the gravest threat to all of RuneScape; Possibly both. So, I act as a covert double-agent: "Would you like some more fish? No, no, it's no trouble. Now tell me more of your plans..."
  • One note of some importance. "Dionisio" is not my player name.