Shit RSW Says

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If you have an entertaining anecdote from RSW's Clan Chat, feel free to add it here! (Please note that quotes may be edited for concision.)

We here at Shit RSW Says take pride in the quality of our publication, and as such reserve the right to excise user-added quotations, should their editorial merit not qualify against our rigorous and exacting standards of literary excellence.

2012[edit | edit source]

Gaz Lloyd: You need spiderman to fish for potatoes, lash
IShotTrayvon: Wrong
IShotTrayvon: I need firetruck
Gaz Lloyd: Dammit
kytti khat: And who is going to drive the firetruck?
IShotTrayvon: Jesus

— 5th June 2012

Courtesy of Corn

2013[edit | edit source]

Wayfind3r: Dude, I need to pay someone to teach my dog to pk
Wayfind3r: "You just got pked by a dog"
RexReload: Best way to die
Wayfind3r: I'd give my bank to a dog player
RexReload: The amount of humiliation
RexReload: Would be
RexReload: Too damn high
Wayfind3r: I would pay to lose my bank to a dog
RexReload: Woof
Wayfind3r: Nice try.
RexReload: Woof woof
Wayfind3r: But dogs can't type
Wayfind3r: Or read
Wayfind3r: Or spell
RexReload: We sure can
RexReload: Uh i mean woof

— 10th March 2013

YodaPen: The tears of my classmates are like meth to me
YodaPen: They rot my teeth and shit on my cerebrum
YodaPen: But I can't get enough of it.
YodaPen: You can quote me on that.

— 28th May 2013

Cook Me Plox: What did the archer wear to his own funeral? Formaldehyde.

— 31st May 2013

King Kolton9: I wonder if the janitors are jmods.
King Kolton9: Till they mop the floors with chaotics
King Kolton9: "Chaotic mop. Gives +302 damage to dirt."
Fly Fawkes: Those are its pre eoc stats kolton

— 23rd Sept 2013

Gaz Lloyd: It spreads the cheese on its skin or else it gets the eoc again

— 29th Sept 2013

Haidro: F is for friends that do stuff together
Haidro: U is for you and me
Gaz Lloyd: N is for not divination

— 4th Dec 2013

YodaPen: Hey guys, don't look now
YodaPen: But Megaman just shit his pants
MegaMan: Robots don't shit
MegaMan: Or wear pants
YodaPen: You're obviously a non-robotic, pants-wearing imposter then

— 4th Dec 2013

Astra xoxo: Cry cry cry
Chess Guy4:Nooo!
Chess Guy4: -passes Astra my santa-
Astra xoxo: Takes santa and blows nose on it
Chess Guy4: Wat
Tank Who: New item, green santa

— 5th Dec 2013

King Kolton9: I'm imagining mmg in his tank, eating doritos and driving around london

— 15th Dec 2013

RSW: Excuse me yoda do you have a moment to talk about warthog our lord and saviour
YodaPen: Yes

— 29th Dec 2013

2014[edit | edit source]

Jortash: Who wants to be Cook's assistant?

— 9th Jan 2014

Oil4: I should start an imageboard btw
Oil4: I'll call it Oil4chan
St Launcelot: Filled with Oilicon no doubt

— 9th Jan 2014

Jortash: Help me feel closer to god
Raglough: Stand on something tall

— 1st Feb 2014

YodaPen: The Stuff is so useful that I got rid of it when I cleaned my bank

— 24th Jan 2014

The Ring Mould of Anger[edit | edit source]

RSW: Yoda help how make gold ring
RSW: Do I need a bronze bar
YodaPen: First you need a ring mould of anger
YodaPen: And then you need a mithril crossbow....This is where things get complex
MegaMan: Hold up
MegaMan: I need to write this down
MegaMan: How do you spell mithril?
YodaPen: It goes like this
YodaPen: "W A R T H O G"
YodaPen: Got that?
MegaMan: Ok, got it
MegaMan: I need a warthog crossbow
YodaPen: Once you have the ring mould of anger and a warthog crossbow
YodaPen: You need to take it to the loom in the farmhouse near port sarim
YodaPen: And use the loom to un-weave the crossbow string into flax.
Riblet15: 15 biscuits from clue
YodaPen: Thanks Riblet, I was just getting to the part about the biscuits.
Corn Squigly: Tell us moar yoda
Corn Squigly: This sounds hawt
YodaPen: Well, once you've got the flax and the unstrung crossbow
YodaPen: You have to travel all the way from Port Sarim to Arandar Pass, on foot
YodaPen: This is important, otherwise it will not work.
YodaPen: Once you're there, use the unstrung crossbow on a Mourner
YodaPen: He will thank you for the gift and accept you into the Secret Ringmakers
YodaPen: Society (Srs for short) and invite you to their headquarters
Corn Squigly: Moar yoda moar
YodaPen: Once there, you will need to burn the flax on the sacrificial altar of Apmeken
Corn Squigly: :O
YodaPen: The desert goddess herself will appear
Megadog14: How do i make satan appear?
YodaPen: Burn a bucket of sulfur from that Elf quest instead, mega.
YodaPen: But that's beside the point.
YodaPen: Apmeken will offer you the chance to help her biggest enemy in Gielinor,
Corn Squigly: :O!
YodaPen: Who naturally is the Real Estate Agent based in Falador.
MegaMan: Oh my god it makes sense
YodaPen: Naturally you will accept her quest
YodaPen: And naturally, you figure the best way to kill him is to close the door to his
YodaPen: House because he's an idiot and can't open it himself, and use some sort of
YodaPen: Flame projectile device to turn his abode into a furnace of despair.
Megadog14: I think i found satan
Corn Squigly: O_O
YodaPen: So you look over the materials you have on you
YodaPen: Basically, you only have the Ring Mould of Anger
YodaPen: And naturally you need that to make the gold ring, right?
YodaPen: If you affirmed my statement, you are incorrect.
YodaPen: You close the door to the agent's home, he is trapped until some noob
YodaPen: Decides they want whitewashed walls on their house.
YodaPen: So once Mr. House Agent Dude is sealed inside his tomb
YodaPen: You retreat across the moat and onto the shore of the White Knight Castle
YodaPen: At which point you throw the Ring Mould of Anger at his building
YodaPen: Blinding. Fucking. Light. The very world has come apart at the seams.
YodaPen: You open your eyes. Nothing. The house is gone, the city is gone
YodaPen: Reality is gone. But wait....You see a yellow speck, far in the distance
YodaPen: You run towards it for what feels like eternity, and find that it is, in fact
YodaPen: A gold ring. As you pick it up, you hear a sigh from above... The voice of
YodaPen: Apmeken. "Thank you..." she whispers.
YodaPen: That is how you make a gold ring.

— 11th Feb 2013

Jortash: Anyone know if ascension crossbows crashed today?
Dongerhood: Princess diana didn't for sure

— 12th Feb 2014

YodaPen: It is clear that I have a future in poetry
Megadog14: Ima claim dat ass of urs hottie
YodaPen: Fiara awoke, dazed and afraid
YodaPen: Her recollection of last night spotty
YodaPen: Again and again, one phrase in her mind played
YodaPen: "imma claim dat ass of urs hottie"
Megadog14: Yoda
YodaPen: Mega
Megadog14: You seriously are talented
Megadog14: Im not even lying
YodaPen: I try, I try
YodaPen: Fuck I love making retarded poems

— 19th Feb 2014

Hantome: Hunter is .2 carpal tunnels/hr

— 23rd Feb 2014

Woodstck: I want to be known as chickenchoker the charitable

— 28th Feb 2014

Wayfind3r: Broads, y u so expensive?
Megadog14: Huehuehue
Megadog14: Huehuehuehuehuehuehue

— 5th March 2014

DarkMist_72: Why do i have a jod in my rooster?

— 5th March 2014

Wayfind3r: You should definitely be scared when walking through a dungeon full of black d

— 5th March 2014

Electrosa: What kind of car does Sliske drive
Electrosa: A Mahjarrati

— 18th March 2014

Night Fears: Scince there's rs3
Night Fears: Music > off
Denkar Vidar: Why?
Night Fears: Doesn't fit in the rs imo
Night Fears: Rs soundtracks*
Denkar Vidar: You don't fit in rs
Oil4: Are you calling him fat
Denkar Vidar: Well his agility level is negative

— 28th March 2014

Bloo Cake: I see a Jelmergu
YodaPen: Call him a noob for good luck

— 10th May 2014

Queen Astra: Ok so does anyone need tomatoes?
Woodstck: Irl or game?
DarkMist_72: Mfw
Queen Astra: ...

— 12th May 2014

Mookie Merkk: Im over here instant killing him over and over lol
Mookie Merkk: There is a pipe after the first obstacle
Mookie Merkk: Its in the room with the skeletons
Mookie Merkk: Beware you get poisoned!
Mookie Merkk: For 24
Mookie Merkk: Tabbed out banking nao!!!
Mookie Merkk: Phew made it back in time
Mookie Merkk: That was close...
Mookie Merkk: 8610 out of 8610 lp
Mookie Merkk: Almost died

— 15th May 2014

GoochExe: I just make fun of ryan cause he lives in craplahoma
Ryan M: Oklahoma is good for fishing, not sure what else though
GoochExe: Arkansas has better fishing
CROW kid: What's its fishing level?

— 22nd May 2014

Mookie Dark: Oh hey this bneck was worth removing my pants

— 14th June 2014

Valsharia: American football is called armpit egg in my mind

— 16th June 2014

Night Fears: Primal longswrod
Night Fears: >longswrod
YodaPen: Pornsword
Night Fears: Lll
Valsharia: Schlongsword?

— 19th June 2014

[Clan System] Oil4 has allocated the clan job of Troll to Best Onion.
Oil4: Oooops that's broadcast now?
Kiryu Moeka: Lol
Oil4: Shit that takes the fun out of it

[...]

Best Onion has logged in.
Best Onion: Oil you fuck.

— 20th June 2014

Oil4: [Ninja request] Mod Ana's number

— 30th June 2014

Night Fears: "Did someone say... A trap?" *pulls out a trap card*
Hodor Quale: Bailey Jay's about!?
Hodor Quale: I mean-
Hodor Quale: ...Hodor.
Cryptarch: Til

— 30th June 2014

Cook Me Plox: What other destinations
Cook Me Plox: Central african republic, obviously
Cook Me Plox: I hope they have 4g at least
Liquidhelium: Silly cook
Qxard: You'd be lucky to get cans and a piece of string

— 20th July 2014

Liquidhelium: Herro Corin
YodaPen: I understand you're Asian, Kevin
YodaPen: But control yourself

— 21st July 2014

YodaPen: 2 hrs .08%
YodaPen: That's just lol
YodaPen: Legally drunk and flying
Liquidhelium: That's almost as stringent as the requirements for ambulance
Liquidhelium: Well what's a police officer going to do
Liquidhelium: Get in his police plane and pull me over by the next cloud
Liquidhelium: For swerving too much in the air?
Liquidhelium: It's called turbulence, yo

— 23rd July 2014

Liquidhelium: Cook where did you say the clan meeting was?
Jortash: Dude just come already
Jortash: My house
Liquidhelium: I don't know where you live
Wayfind3r: Taverly, porbably
Jortash: Yanille, you fucking peasant

— 23rd July 2014

Oil4: You all don't realise that 5-x is my alt
Bloo Caek: Wait
Bloo Caek: So if you're cook's alt
Bloo Caek: And 5-x is your alt
Bloo Caek: Then who is...
Oil4: No, Bloo
Bloo Caek: @@@
Oil4: *you* are cook's alt
Bloo Caek: Inb4 cook chestburster

— 28th July 2014

Server-wide Announcements.png: RS3 Inventory image of Server-wide AnnouncementsNews: Ice Fiend has just achieved at least level 99 in all skills!
Electrosa: Not a bad name
Oil4: What an ice name
Cryptarch: Sounds like an ice guy
Electrosa: Goddammit you guys

— 15th August 2014

Cryptarch: Wtf one of my trees vanished
Hello World: Was it a magic tree?

— 19th August 2014

Wingcap: Automatons... If i range can i avoid their spec?
Hello World: No
Hello World: They will come to your house later
Hello World: And kill you

— 19th August 2014

Fly Fawkes: Corn, I have one question for you
Fly Fawkes: Corn pls respond
Corn Colonel: I dc'd what's up?
Fly Fawkes: How do you fit all that into them jeans
Corn Colonel: Wat
Fly Fawkes: You know what to do with that big fat butt
Fly Fawkes: Wiggle wiggle wiggle
Corn Colonel: Waaaaaat
Fly Fawkes: :þ
Corn Colonel: (/'-')/ im going to strangle you
Fly Fawkes: Too soon corn, too soon
Fly Fawkes: No strangling jokes, rip in peace mr williams
Corn Colonel: (/*-*)/
Fly Fawkes: But if you must strangle me, i have a special rope for it

— 19th August 2014

Freecomkcf1: Every time i roll a 0 on a hard hit im just like
Freecomkcf1: Why the fuck
Freecomkcf1: Did i go full retard and bang my hammer on the floor or something

— 19th August 2014

Hello World: 16 mithril swords challenge
Hello World: Fuck me indeed
Dark Mist: Duuuuuuuuuuuude
Dark Mist: Thats like an all expense paid trip
Dark Mist: Dafug's wrong with you
Hello World: An all expense paid trip to hell

— 19th August 2014

Liquidhelium: Colin, how long did 99 divination take
Liquidhelium: Roughly
Cy Young: Hours-wise?
Liquidhelium: Yeah
Cy Young: Let's see
Cy Young: I was 15 when I started
Cy Young: And 16 when I got 99
Cy Young: So about a year
Liquidhelium: Never mind

— 19th August 2014

Tank Who: Fucking hell there are literally no free worlds to kill asc creatures in
Oil4: Because they are members only

— 22nd August 2014

From dk682ief2x: S.E.Ll Rs gold ~ [Redacted]
From 2zcp75e: [Redacted] sell game golds
From shv0l47n5: S.E.Ll Rs gold ~ [Redacted]
Cryptarch: Dammit goldbots, I don't wanna have to be "friends only"
From Cy Young: Buy my gold pls go to runescape.Wikia.Cawm

— 22nd August 2014

Liquidhelium: These monks of entrana are stricter than the tsa :(

— 23rd August 2014

Harshz: Can rhino be used as bob?
LeafyEmerald: Not anyomore
RSW: Not since the accident

— 23rd August 2014

Cy Young: Each dropless sara trip is like 500k
Cy Young: Basically paying 500k for a bunch of effigies
Corn Colonel: You should let me assist in them so i can get xp :C
Cy Young: Or nahh
Corn Colonel: Aw D:
Cy Young: I have a family to feed
Cy Young: 26 kids
Cy Young: All hungry for exp

— 23rd August 2014

Liquidhelium: Ugggggggh
Liquidhelium: There is construction going on behind my dormitory
Liquidhelium: I've been listening to a jackhammer and a buzzsaw all morning
Cryptarch: I thought you loved construction
Liquidhelium: I do, just not the noisy type
Tank Who: Construction that isn't noisy?
Tank Who: Revolutionary.
Liquidhelium: I construct with the sound off

— 25th August 2014

Night Fears: I didn't choose pleb life, pleb life chose me

— 28th August 2014

Oil4: Brits celebrate the 4th of July don't they?
Oil4: They celebrate getting rid of America

— 30th August 2014

Loon: Lord pro pvm 420 admiral of the fleet xx gaz lloyd xx, the world guardian of 39

— 6th September 2014

Spin To Win: Prayer 65 finally
Kdanger: Only 65? Spin more to ein more
Kdanger: Win*
Tank Who: Zwei should he?
Gluttony: He would go home drei of wins

— 13th September 2014

x Samurai x: Nub spien
[Clan system] Spineweilder has allocated the clan job of Lady to x Samurai x.
Ryan M: Lol
Corn Colonel: Lmao
x Samurai x: Please remove it by:
Corn Colonel: Oh spine, that made my day
Corn Colonel: Thank you lol
NewAeon: :O you make them lady but you dont make me one?
NewAeon: I see how it is spiney :c
[Clan system] Spineweilder has changed the clan job of NewAeon from: Lady to
clan job: Princess.

NewAeon: What
Corn Colonel: :D
NewAeon: When was i lady?
Spineweilder: A few hours ago
NewAeon: Wtf?!?
x Samurai x: Do it, Spine >:-l
Ryan M: Lmao
NewAeon: Spine has the gots for me
NewAeon: Lel
[Clan system] Spineweilder has changed the clan job of x Samurai x from: Lady
to clan job: Troll.

x Samurai x: U iz ban
Spineweilder: This is just hilarious
Corn Colonel: At least im still legendary member
[Clan system] Spineweilder has changed the clan job of Corn Colonel from: Legendary Member to
clan job: Member of the Month.

RSW: I think liquid gave me queen once because i kept having gaz give it to him
Corn Colonel: Hay thats a downgrade D:
RSW: It did not have the disired effect :-)
MegaMan: Can i become a Mega Member
[Clan system] Ryan M has changed the clan job of Acquisitive from: Assistant to
clan job: Inquisitor

Corn Colonel: I had to open my mouth ._.

[...]

NewAeon: Im a princess
NewAeon: I feel so pretty
Spineweilder: So kawaii
NewAeon: Ikr
Ryan M: Baka
NewAeon: Psst spine is gay for me
NewAeon: Xd
Spineweilder: Nou
Spineweilder: I have a waifu
Corn Colonel: Ryan change me back to legendary member D:
NewAeon: Legit?
NewAeon: Dude wtf, Why you no tell me
[Clan system] Ryan M has changed the clan job of Corn Colonel from: Member of the Month to
clan job: Legendary Member.

NewAeon: Im yur bro and yuo don't tell me :C
Corn Colonel: Yey \o/
x Samurai x: Ryan
Ryan M: ¿Que?
x Samurai x:Spine set it to troll from nothing
Ryan M: Oh really
[Clan system] Ryan M has removed the clan job of x Samurai x.
[Clan system] Spineweilder has allocated the clan job of Inactive Clanmate to x Samurai x.

— 1st October 2014

Added by Corn

Tank Who: Anyone wanna partake in rocktail bubble?
Cryptarch: I'm a bit kree-occupied

— 4th October 2014

Ryan M: Hm, 22 hours until Ravens return to Prifddinas
Birthing Pod: Is Ray Lewis gonna kill some Elves or something?

— 15th October 2014

Tank Two: What the absolute squid dick

— 16th October 2014

Sesna2: You guys wanna hear about cook's internet history
Sesna2: So i had never heard of runescape cabbage erotica but you should look into it
Sesna2: Direct quote
Sesna2: "oh brassica prime, fill me with your leafy goodness"

— 16th October 2014

Tank Two: Tirwmwfnwnwnaiainwnan lode activated

— 21st October 2014

Ol4: Yay ghost hunter body/backpack
Ol4: Reminds me of this one time I was in a hotel room with a girl
Ol4: Both intoxicated
Ol4: One thing led to another...
Ol4: ...So we watched a german dub of ghostbusters

— 23rd October 2014

Xo db oX: I call my toilet Jim, not John
Xo db oX: Makes me sound cool when I tell my mates I go to the Jim every morning

— 25th October 2014

Dark Mist: Is it plant is it animal is it a chemical
Corn Colonel: Animal
Raggles: Mana from the gods
Dark Mist: Oic
Corn Colonel: The pepperonis is a rare, majestic creature
Raggles: Moses roamed the desert for 40 years
Raggles: And god sent him pepperoni to eat
Corn Colonel: Hunted for its hide, the pepperonis is an endangered creature
Corn Colonel: As there are few left in the wild
Dark Mist: Hide? I thought its hunted to eat
Corn Colonel: But i guess their other body parts have their usages
Corn Colonel: Like its stomach for example, is used only in football(soccer) by the italians
Corn Colonel: And if a visiting team beats a team from italy, they get a complimentary
Corn Colonel: Pepperonis soccer ball stomach
Corn Colonel: ...Am i becoming yoda?
Cryptarch: This has been World Studies with Rsw
Corn Colonel: Rofl

— 25th October 2014

Wafflebaby: How long does it take for blue bird's eggs to hatch?
Pikachu Lv95: Approximately too long

— 25th October 2014

Clv309: No one ever comes to hartford
Clv309: Don't ever come to hartford
YodaPen: Connecticut?
Clv309: Yes I moved for work
TyA: Hartford, ct is a shitty place
YodaPen: No one goes to fucking Connecticut
Clv309: I know, I hate it here
YodaPen: You're the first person to move to connecticut since 1787

— 1st November 2014

Clv309: I made dan dan noodles tonight
Mnemonic: Who is dan dan, your dog?

— 1st November 2014

St Launcelot: Quickchat, the gift that never stops giving
Iron a TroisQuick chat.png: RS3 Inventory image of Quick chat: More competence would be better.
Gaz LloydQuick chat.png: RS3 Inventory image of Quick chat: This is not a dating site.
St LauncelotQuick chat.png: RS3 Inventory image of Quick chat: Alas! Lumbridge lies in ruins.
Loon: I'm due to be the Supreme Champion soon.
St LauncelotQuick chat.png: RS3 Inventory image of Quick chat: I want less of item: Sweetcorn.
Cryptarch: Bring item: Drugged meat.
Ol4: Rohypnol pls
St Launcelot: roflcopters
Fly Fawkes: Rohypnolcopters
Ol4: Rohypnol4

— 5th November 2014

Raggles: Yeah that is what i'dve dpme
Tank Two: Wat
Tank Two: Did you just have a stroke?
Xv Astra vX: Rag speak australian please
Raggles: Wagga wagga baragaroo

— 8th November 2014

Tank Two: Tarn down
Raggles: For what

— 8th November 2014

Serphant73: How many peices are there to the priff worker outfit?
Cryptarch: 4
YodaPen: 87
Endless Time: Any special effect?
Cryptarch: Nope
YodaPen: Yes
YodaPen: If you wear the full set
YodaPen: You'll have 4 extra bank spaces until you put it back

— 11th November 2014

Ironman Mode.png: RS3 Inventory image of Ironman ModeFe Adam Wiki: Finished shadow over ashdale with 3hp where's my mug
Deflectrange: You arent hardcore
Deflectrange: All you get is a giant punch in the gut
Ironman Mode.png: RS3 Inventory image of Ironman ModeFe Adam Wiki: *drinks mountain dew while performing a kickflip*
Ironman Mode.png: RS3 Inventory image of Ironman ModeFe Adam Wiki: Im hella rad

— 14th November 2014

Iiii I I I: What are trails
Dark Mist: A trail is exactly what it sounds like
Iiii I I I: That's as helpful as sal's realm

— 10th December 2014

TaoistJohn: I'm sure you're a beautiful person yoda
TaoistJohn: Perhaps it's simply that you don't fully understand what beauty is
TaoistJohn: Beauty isn't how chiseled one's features are, how muscular they are
TaoistJohn: Beauty is how you treat someone, it's how you make them feel when you're around
TaoistJohn: And how you make them feel when you're not around
TaoistJohn: The hair fades and the skin wrinkles
TaoistJohn: But the heart and soul tarnish not
TaoistJohn: *continues eating crayons*

— 27th December 2014

MegaMan: Hmm, i have over 1,000 super compost
MegaMan: I guess you could say i have...A lot of good shit

— 27th December 2014

Denkar: Kbd give head
MegaMan: Phrasing, man. Phrasing

— 27th December 2014

2015[edit | edit source]

FishRCrazy: If you said anything I missed it cause dc
Skellington: You seem to dc a lot fish
Ty ler: The internet isn't great under the sea

— 11th January 2015

5-x: Changing things in rsw is like turning a supertanker
Denkar: You mean we'll crash and leak oil all over some penguins?

— 16th January 2015

Corn Colonel: I have work tomorrow
Ouronum: What do you do, by the way?
Corn Colonel: It's hard to explain
Corn Colonel: But let's just say im like a chauffeur, but with more jobs
Corn Colonel: I drive someone around
Cryptarch: Corn works for the mob
Corn Colonel: But basically im gonna be driving for 10 hours tomorrow
Corn Colonel: And write down things
Corn Colonel: And take pictures
Juan Luis: Hitwoman
Ouronum: Corn is mob confirmed

— 16th January 2015

St Launcelot: Woot scrims have been consolidated in bank
Xv Astra vX: They stack now?
Kirito SP: Yeah unused ones stack
St Launcelot: My 65 superior scrims of elements do
Xv Astra vX: 65???????????
St Launcelot: That I made <cough> in error
Xv Astra vX: Noob
Cryptarch: You made 65 scrims by accident?
St Launcelot: Ikr

— 31st Jan 2015

Deflectrange: Plz give secret 9th clan
Deflectrange: Lives under the city
Deflectrange: Cooks food for the elves and cleans all the water sources
isogashii: House elf clan

— 5th February 2015

Xarkles: Which direction is amlodd?
Cryptarch: West-northwest
Xarkles: So oriented as 2 on a clock?
Cryptarch: No, your other west
Xarkles: Mother fuck >_>

— 14th February 2015

Gaz Lloyd: How come supreme ovls don't look like they contain any ovl
King Kolton9: Life, uh, finds a way

— 21st February 2015

King Kolton9: My crafting level is: 9001.
Cryptarch: Ancient meme is ancient
King Kolton9: I still love it
King Kolton9: It's one of those memes you never stop liking
King Kolton9: Kind of like doge
Weird Gloop: Such kolton
Weird Gloop: Much 0.999999

— 22nd February 2015

Xarkles: Mom wants to get me a car real fast, and I have school after
Xarkles: [email protected] taking "getting a car like its buying groceries
Tullius: Can you ask her to get me a car too?
Tullius: I could use a car and some chip dip
Xarkles: Sorry she says no
Tullius: Darn it
Tullius: Was worth a shot
Dead God: How about the chip dip though?
Xarkles: She says fine but you have to pick it up
Xarkles: Meet her at Walmart with $3

— 3rd March 2015

MegaMan: People call me the ring of kinship
MegaMan: Cause you can't start a party without me

— 3rd March 2015

Ironman Mode.png: RS3 Inventory image of Ironman ModeXarkles: If jagex could host infinitely many servers, would the max players online be
Ironman Mode.png: RS3 Inventory image of Ironman ModeXarkles: (2^32)-1?
Cryptarch: If xark dies in hcim and noone is online, is there still a broadcast?
Ironman Mode.png: RS3 Inventory image of Ironman ModeXarkles: Crypt pls
Ironman Mode.png: RS3 Inventory image of Ironman ModeXarkles: I still have a spare life so no

— 15th March 2015

Tullius: I wanna get ellie
Minnakht: I want qbdragonling
Tullius: I wanna get laid

— 29th March 2015

Tom Baker: Is this a very active channel
Tom Baker: Or does no one ever talk
Player Moderator.png: RS3 Inventory image of Player ModeratorChess Guy4: Something something xp waste
Player Moderator.png: RS3 Inventory image of Player ModeratorLocutus: Plenty of talking
Tom Baker: Many mods
Tom Baker: Sooooooo
Tom Baker: Can i join this clan
Tom Baker: Or do i have to do some cool kid thing
Tom Baker: And do like 20 back flips or some shit
Cryptarch: Yes, without spilling your mtn dew
Tom Baker: K sec
Tom Baker: Ill start doin back flips
Tom Baker: U no wut
Tom Baker: Scratch that
Tom Baker: Still need to wait 2 days
Iiii I I I: O
Tom Baker: Ya some stoner kicked me cuz i dodnt blaze it
Tom Baker: On a brighter note
Tom Baker: I just made 100m
Tom Baker: If someone falls in the forest and no ones around to laugh at him, does he make a noise?
Jlun2: Likely
Tom Baker: O hai
Tom Baker: Its jlun
Tom Baker: My eldest friend of 20 years
Jlun2: What :|
Tom Baker: We used to play on the dairy farms in 07
Tom Baker: Make mills
Tom Baker: Remember that ol pal?
Tom Baker: Those were the days…
Tom Baker: And Jeremiah would help us feed the sewer rats and lead us to the hob goblins,
Tom Baker: For we needed our much important limpwurt roots.
Tom Baker: And then we’d go to the old swimming hole and cool off after a long days work on
Tom Baker: The farm
Tom Baker: Oh my dear Jlun
Tom Baker: Where have the times gone?
Jlun2Quick chat.png: RS3 Inventory image of Quick chat: This is not a dating site.
Tom Baker: Wow
Tom Baker: Jlun
Tom Baker: I don’t swing that way
Corn Colonel: You seem familiar tom…
Tom Baker: I am known far and wide.
Tom Baker: As the traveling wonder.
Tom Baker: I seek adventure
Tom Baker: And fun.
Corn Colonel: I think im confusing you with ryan baker
Tom Baker: Oh ryan.
Tom Baker: My long lost brother.
Tom Baker: Corn
Tom Baker: I bring terrible news.
Tom Baker: My brother, ryan.
Tom Baker: Was lost in the war.
Tom Baker: I morn his loss.
Xarkles: Saving Private Ryan Baker
Tom Baker: He died to a Spiritual Mage.

— 29th March 2015

Corn Colonel: Crashed star in nardah… I haven’t checked it yet c:
Corn Colonel: Is anyone coming then?
Corn Colonel: *checks clock*
Corn Colonel: Oh shhhhhhhhhhhhh
Corn Colonel: I knew i was playing torchlight 2 for too long :C
Corn Colonel: Fine ill check it then
Corn Colonel: Free 7k xp for me
Corn Colonel: *runs away eating sandwich*

— 30th March 2015

Wayfinder: Yes, I’ve had comp since july, haidro :P
Haidro: Where’s my comp
Wayfinder: In the museum

— 3rd April 2015

Corn Colonel: Wait, people actually have organized houses?
Corn Colonel: I just made mine to look like a pegleg
Corn Colonel: All my things are everywhere
Corn Colonel: But I specifically made my demon butler have his room away from mine
Corn Colonel: I don’t want him getting any ideas :X
Oil4: >not putting the butler bedroom at the end of a dungeon full of monsters and traps
Corn Colonel: But oil, what if i get ideas
Corn Colonel: I need to get to him easily
Oil4: Corn
Oil4: If you are demonophilic
Oil4: Then go ahead
Oil4: We accept all in this cc
Corn Colonel: :D
Corn Colonel: *continues to eat krabby patty*

— 20th April 2015

Immo: Cryptarch still worst fisher
Cryptarch: At least I’m not wearing the wrong skill outfit
Immo: Im mining for fish, gtfo

— 20th April 2015

LWSIFFER: Oh yeah its 0400 hot pocket time!
Tullius: Gtfo
Tullius: It's always hot pocket time if you have them
LWSIFFER: But its the magical 4am hot pocket time tho
Tullius: An east-coast fella like myself?
Tullius: What state, man?
LWSIFFER: Ya
LWSIFFER: Fla
Tullius: Maine here
LWSIFFER: Sweet, its too hot here
Tullius: I'm on top, you're on bottom
LWSIFFER: ....................
Tullius: I mean, uh…
LWSIFFER: ........................................
LWSIFFER: Srsly....................
Minnakht: Oh god
Minnakht: Ryan on top of someone
Minnakht: Sounds lethal
LWSIFFER: Oh the humanity!

— 5th May 2015

Juniata: My slayer assignment was to kill like 40 bears
Juniata: And the most bear spawns in one place in all of f2p
Juniata: Has 2 bears
Serphant73: Sounds unbearable

— 6th May 2015

Flaming Foe: Sweet 77 agility
Flaming Foe: Now ill be hefin some fun

— 12th May 2015

Clue Scrolls: Nobody likes frozen now
Clue Scrolls: It's overdone
Clue Scrolls: Media blew that shit up like the death star did to alderaan
Clue Scrolls: >:)
Corn Colonel: I guess you could say frozen
Corn Colonel: Was hyped for alderaan reasons

— 15th May 2015

5-x: Finally, only took 5 months to get rid of 2m silver bolts stack at +5%
Electrosa: Why did you have so many
5-x: A happy accident
Electrosa: Tell me yon story, 5x
Liquid: What did you get someone pregnant

— 15th May 2015

Juniata: What is runecrafting nowadays? 4 xp/hr?

— 17th May 2015

Oil4: Why does pop armour not stack in bank even when at 100% charge
Sacredoom: Because you touch yourself at night, you filthy Dutchman.
Sacredoom: Also how are you today
Electrosa: An exceptional greeting, Sacre
Electrosa: Man what am I even supposed to call you
Oil4: Call him "little whiny baby dane"
Electrosa: Yeah but you're "little baby whiny dutchman"
Electrosa: I'd get confused

— 24th May 2015

Stelercus: Cook, how would you describe the smell of Seattle?
Cook Me Plox: Weed and santorum

— 10th June 2015

Valsharia: Anyone else watch bethesda's e3 conference?
[…] Valsharia: Noone watched e3?
YodaPen: I assume you did
YodaPen: So I guess one person watched e3

— 14th June 2015

Stinko: Wow
Stinko: Ice demon from Temple at Howeveryouspellit is fucking *weak*
Stinko: Took no damage
Jlun2: Eoc'd
Ikillyou565: Those eoc'd bosses
Ikillyou565: I wonder how easy dream mentor will be
Jlun2: Piss easy
Jlun2: Accidentally killed them while afk reading the guide

— 17th June 2015

Dark Mist: Gz
Ty ler: Gz duk
Dukaia: Thanks guys
Ikillyou565: What happened?
Dukaia: Arma buckler drop
Cryptarch: Some dude in the park threw him breadcrumbs
Dukaia: They were delicious
Ikillyou565: Oh, he didn't become mega duk?
Dukaia: Unfortunately no

— 20th June 2015

Pikachu Lv95: Say, isn't that artisan's workshop update due soon
Eihwaz: That was Monday
Kdanger: You're a pikachu not a slowpoke

— 25th June 2015

5-x: The pile of kinder surprise egg toys is growing on my desk
5-x: New additions include some spinning propellors, a hippo, a jackal, a seahorse
5-x: And diabetes

— 3rd July 2015

Stinko: Love how vorago bitchslapped tuska
MegaMan: "bitch you in the wrong neighborhood"
Wayfinder: Vorago confirmed mr. Rodgers

— 6th July 2015

YodaPen: I love my keyboard.
YodaPen: And all t he ext ra spac es it a d ds.
YodaPen: Brb b eating the shit o ut of my co mput er

— 7th July 2015

Welcome to RuneScape.
Tullius: Night Fears is a fedora'd gentleman
Tullius: May his neckbeard grow wild and free
Jlun2: And his belly be large and round
Night Fears: I waited so long for this moment
Tullius: And may he be blessed with boundless dew and doritos for all of his days
Night Fears: I waited so long for salvation
Cryptarch: The hell's going on in here
Tullius: Just walk away, Crypt
Tullius: You don't need to know

— 23rd August 2015

Minnakht: I don't expect you to have them memorized, gosh
Minnakht: Who remembers 12 digit numbers
Electrosa: The human brain, on average, can only remember 6 or 7 random figures
Electrosa: Before it compeltely conks out
Corn Colonel: So thats why im bad at remembering pi
The Pi Man: :(
Corn Colonel: O_O

— 5th September 2015

Dark Mist: Whos donald trump
Whiplaassh: A hair model
Dark Mist: O
Dark Mist: So like thor

— 21st September 2015

Cryptarch: "I wonder how far through this muspah task I am" *checks kills*
Cryptarch: "your current assignment is: shadow creatures"

— 24th September 2015

Dark Mist: I never understood wonder woman's aversion to pants tbh

— 24th September 2015

Magic Pants: Fuckin fucking fuck
Magic Pants: Godd damnit
Magic Pants: I need a facunn"]\
HeartOfNOVA: ????
Ikillyou565: Magic, are u okay?
Magic Pants: Sorry, a stinkbug got stuck between the inside of my ear and my headphones
Magic Pants: I've been fending it off
Magic Pants: I think it's gone for now
Ikillyou565: How big was the stinkbug, magic?
Magic Pants: How big is my ear canal?
Magic Pants: Sorry, that doesn't help
Magic Pants: It couldn't fit in mymear canal, really
Magic Pants: As big as
Magic Pants: Uh
Magic Pants: A rock
Ikillyou565: Was it long and thin or short and fat?
Magic Pants: That doesn't help either
Magic Pants: Short and fat
Ikillyou565: Ok
Magic Pants: It was also asian

— 4th October 2015

Xarkles: Crypt what are you on? I want some
Cryptarch: Sleep deprivation
Xarkles: Oh nty
Xarkles: Is that why your title is the Eternal?
Cryptarch: I can see forever
Xarkles: I think we need assistance in cc

— 28th October 2015

Haidro: Anyone here not have a quest point cape
Henneyj: Why are you asking
Haidro: Checking to see if "old man's message" still exists ingame
Panjy16: "old man's massage"
StinkoTemmie: Sounds distinctly creepy
Bye Friend: That's the spot right there old man
Henneyj: Did you stop taking your parkinsons medication?

— 7th November 2015

Gluttony: I got ripped in 10s thanks to a stay at home single demon
Gluttony: Slayers hate them

— 9th November 2015

Xarkles: Was Naragi currency called Guthixian Cache?

— 26th November 2015

MegaMan: My spirit buddy is recommending we get a taser now
MegaMan: Wc

— 6th December 2015

Corn Colonel: My accent transcends reality and is transfered to the game
Corn Colonel: Im so sorry
Xarkles: Wait
Xarkles: You said you were californian
Corn Colonel: Yes
Xarkles: What accent
Corn Colonel: Valley girl :x
Cryptarch: Valley girl?
Xarkles: Omg d'aww
Corn Colonel: Like, oh my god crypt, get it together

— 7th December 2015

RsDatingSite: Your house is a lot nicer than mine
Superiosity: Btw, rsds, don't come into the bedroom
RsDatingSite: Why
Superiosity: Just dont
Xarkles: We need privacy
Xarkles: A man and his bear

— 9th December 2015

Xarkles: How do you mine bitcoin
Night Fears: With a pickaxe

— 11th December 2015

Superiosity: Is is just me or is anyone else shit at noticing when you get a pm
RsDatingSite: I never get pms :(
Xarkles: But you're female
Xarkles: Don't you get pms every month

— 11th December 2015

Haidro: Omg I had a dream i had level 127 farming
Haidro: And i was like "why don't i have a master farming cape"
Haidro: Then i bought one
Haidro: And my outfit was sexy

— 13th December 2015

Added by Corn

2016[edit | edit source]

(In which Haidro becomes a golddigger)

Bye Friend: Try w2 burthorpe, casually skill there, strike up a convo
Bye Friend: And be a cute grill
Haidro: I am cute
Bye Friend: U sure as hell are haidro
FN-2187: Haidro kids haidro wife
Haidro: Omg someone went ";o" to me
Haidro: I'm so fucking in
Haidro: I just said
Haidro: "baby, that's the face i'll make to you"
Bye Friend: They gon ask for ur skype
Haidro: I'll give em urs
Bye Friend: Lllll
Haidro: Omg he responded
Haidro: "i bought a lot of spins"
Haidro: He has moneyyyyyyyyyy
Haidro: Some other dude just said "he's really rich irl"
Bye Friend: Natural haidro
Haidro: Ok how do I get to the point about money
Haidro: I asked if he could buy me a bond
Haidro: He said "lol"
Bye Friend: U need to earn their trust
Haidro: How long does this shit take
5-x: Wtf are you doing?
Haidro: Nothing
Haidro: DW
FN-2187: Haidro is edating
Haidro: No
Haidro: Shush
Haidro: 5-x must not know
Bye Friend: Try 5-x
FN-2187: Is he the mark
Haidro: Shh i was getting there
Haidro: Hey 5-x where r u

— 5th January 2016

AccountLogin: Well i just got owned by araxxor my first time there
AccountLogin: I just had 0 clue what i was doing.
CROW kid: Isn't there a practice mode?
AccountLogin: Araxxor isn't an ugly girl

— 5th January 2016

Electrosa: What up
FN-2187: Up mean away from ground
Electrosa: It true

— 16th January 2016

violetsprite: "Teleport me to the sinkhole" "There are no sinkholes at the moment"
violetsprite: "Where will the next sinkhole appear" "I can teleport you there right now!"
violetsprite: Talsar you senile fuck

— 16th January 2016

AUSRoadie: Woo I think I can join Clan finally
Wayfinder: Yeah, the rules take a long time to read

— 24th January 2016

Evil1888: Can anything be done with junk?
Mad Rubicant: You can turn it into refined junk
Mad Rubicant: It's just as useless
Tank Who: Think of junk as poop
Tank Who: And then refined junk is just poop with sugar sprinkled on top
Gluttony: Both are delicious from my experience

— 26th January 2016

ChelKurito: 55k div remaining 'til 80
ChelKurito: And I will finally be off of Mr. Guthix's Wild Ride

— 1st February 2016

Juan Luis: Dextrous is shortbows right?
Juniata: I thought it was a type of sugar

— 2nd February 2016

Clue Scrolls: Ugh, why can't my damned loincloth cooperate ;~;
Clue Scrolls: Keep doing emotes and it keeps flying up and staying up
Juniata: If it stays up for more than 4 hours call jagex

— 2nd February 2016

Pikachu Lv95: Wooo! Level 85 in keeping houseplants alive \o/
Pikachu Lv95: Spoilers - They still die
Pikachu Lv95: Also, dumbledoor kills harry or something idk

— 28th February 2016

(Concerning a fun-weapon wilderness duel)
Aeonflux III: That was fun, even if I have no idea how I killed you by swinging flowers at you
Serphant73: Allergies

— 2nd April 2016

JAAAAAAAAAAR: Wanna dung for me mate?
JAAAAAAAAAAR: Dg gives me cancer
Cryptarch: That's a jarring display name
JAAAAAAAAAAR: I was on pain killers

— 3rd April 2016

Huhn Zahne: What the? The Grand Tree is a stump.
Doge L SHibe: Are you sure it's not a mod timbo rebalancing?

— 18th April 2016

Ravenscorned: 90% of the local neighbors are seasonal
Ouronum: ...
Ouronum: I just imagined a flock of neighbors flying in a V-formation
Ouronum: To land when the spring comes and start bbqing

— 12th May 2016

Finnedsolid9: Is the new boss out yet??
Wingcap: Nope
Gaz Lloyd: Did you check the newspost
Loon: I'll take what is the main page for 500 gaz

— 1st June 2016

Drakansoul: Anyone else think they should bring back miasmic spells?
Miss Rees: It'll be a reward from livid farm 2
Gaz Lloyd: Ancient boogaloo
Jlun2: You only livid once

— 2nd June 2016

Sachi: I feel like someone just hit me upside the head with a hammer
Sachi: Ughhhhh
Clue Scrolls: *hides granite maul*
XPaladox: *eats Clueie's granite maul*
XPaladox: *coughs up a sock and gives it to Clueie as a gift*

— 3rd June 2016

Dark Mist: Asdasdasd facebook just showed me a memory from 3 years ago
Dark Mist: How do i wipe this out of existence
Serphant73: Try hitting your head on the wall really hard

— 6th July 2016

Dukaia: >looks for phone
Dukaia: >it's taped to my ceiling fan
Clue Scrolls: Wat

— 11th July 2016

Dvsilverwing: Australia isn't even a real place
Dvsilverwing: It's a government conspiracy

— 13th July 2016

(Concerning Monks and Wine of Zamorak)
XPaladox: Should be aggressive to anyone even holding the stuff tbh
XPaladox: They can smell it and they know you a stinky thief
XPaladox: So they try to give you a bath
XPaladox: But they fuck up and use fire instead of water

— 14th July 2016

Tank Who: Idk about you
Tank Who: But I have a glorious butt attached to my legtops

— 14th July 2016

4thRay: Anyone tried pillars of eternity?
Fflamddwyn: I had one after taking too much viagra

— 16th July 2016

Clue Scrolls: Woo! Go monks! You're great! Best monks for miles! Wooooo!
Clue Scrolls: Uh
Clue Scrolls: That was a wrong chat.

— 19th July 2016

5-x: Anyone remember the name of the beach fc?
5-x: Oh, it's beach fc
5-x: Thanks
5-x: NP
5-x has logged out.

— 21st August 2016

Scona: Is there any world for the great orb project?
Brux: Is Hell a world?

— 27th August 2016

Spooky Murph: If i promote my son is that abuse of power?
Chaos Monk: You need to throw it on the yg Degen
Cryptarch: Forum:degen and his nepotism
Gaz L: Promotions above corp go through rs:rfr
Spooky Murph: Shit, sounds like I should do it just to see the thread
Harlequin981: Do it
Harlequin981: I could use some wikidrama
Spooky Murph: The little bastard doesn't even pay attention
Spooky Murph: Right bob quest?
[Bob Quest does not respond]

— 12th September 2016

Cryptarch: Ior / mei
Panjy16: I definitely may
Panjy16: Definitely meilyr
Panjy16: Ho ho ho
Panjy16: Ohohohohohho
Cryptarch: Panjy how long have you been awake

— 23rd September 2016

Clue Scrolls: Fuuuck
Clue Scrolls: I Just dropped my last 3 pizza rolls
Clue Scrolls: Fffffuuuuuuuuucccckkkk
Metal Angel: Was it hot
Clue Scrolls: Yes
Clue Scrolls: They were
Metal Angel: O boi
Clue Scrolls: And They are now hairy
Clue Scrolls: Rip

— 23rd September 2016

Fflamddwyn: It's possible to safespot icewyrms now by just standing far away enough
Joelthefrog1: So as long as you don't stand in the open and get ow-my-balls'd, you're fine?

— 25th September 2016

Clue Scrolls: I'm ashamed to admit I only knew that from farmville
Superiosity: I dont think you have to be ashamed for knowing thing because of video games
bad_fetus: No but you have to be ashamed to have played farmville
P1NK FL0YD: There's shagging sheep, and then there's farmville
Clue Scrolls: What's the difference tho
bad_fetus: The difference is that I'd rather shag a sheep
Superiosity: What if you're a new zealander who plays farmville

— 26th September 2016