Dialogue for Trevor

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Dialogue 1[edit | edit source]

  • Trevor: Why don't you raise any pigs on the farm?
  • Player: That's a big question, Trevor.
  • Player: Well, I sometimes do, just not on my own farm. I sort of work with another farmer called Eli Bacon, who farms them for meat.
  • Trevor: Wait, wait, wait! Pigs can be eaten? Since when? And why has nobody told me this?
  • Player: Why is this such a big deal?
  • Trevor: Oh, er, I'm working on a new magic trick. Yeah. Also, what do they taste like?
  • Player: *sigh* I'm not trusting you with pigs, Trevor.

Dialogue 2[edit | edit source]

  • Trevor: So...about chinchompas...
  • Player: What about chinchompas?
  • Trevor: About how they, you know...explode sometimes.
  • Player: Uh huh, go on.
  • Trevor: But that doesn't seem to affect other chinchompas nearby.
  • Player: Well, I'm not sure that's true - the others probably suffer stress and other psychological eff- Where is this going, Trevor?
  • Trevor: Do you think chinchompas are fireproof?
  • Player: Why?
  • Trevor: Er, well...I've got some marshmallows, you see, and...
  • Player: No!
  • Trevor: Aww, you're no fun.

Dialogue 3[edit | edit source]

  • Trevor: Hey, could you find a pigeon...for the farm?
  • Player: There isn't really a market for rearing pigeons. Why do you want a pigeon anyway?
  • Trevor: I'm working on a new magic trick and I need some pigeons for, um, practice...
  • Player: What trick is this?
  • Trevor: Well, you see, first I cut the pigeon in half and th-
  • Player: Wait, why do you need more than one pigeon, then?
  • Trevor: Er...you know, just in case the, er, um... Ooh! Yeah, in case it's really successful and I need to perform it a lot!
  • Player: Well, if that happens, could you just use the same pigeon over and over.
  • Trevor: Wow, you just don't get how magic works, do you?
  • Player: Wow, I think I'm just going to say no to this...

Dialogue 4[edit | edit source]

  • Trevor: Wanna see a trick? I can make cows disappear!
  • Player: Er, how does that work?
  • Trevor: I use this magical abyssal whip and...
  • Player: Kill it and eat it?
  • Trevor: Wot? No, that's not magic. I do magic.
  • Player: Okay, sorry, tell me how it's done then.
  • Trevor: Er, now I don't want to. Also, a magician never reveals their steak-rets, I mean secrets.
  • Trevor: ....
  • Trevor: Shut up.
  • Player: Never said a word.