Transcript of Tower of Life

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This transcript or section is incomplete and could do with improvement.
Reason: Some misc responses to the two quizzes
You can discuss this issue on the talk page or edit this page to improve it.

The Chance of a Lifetime[edit | edit source]

Pre-emptive Introductions[edit | edit source]

'Black-eye'[edit | edit source]

  • Player: What's going on?
  • "Black-eye": Ah, we be building this 'ere tower. Lookin' good ain't it?
  • Player: It does look pretty impressive, but what are you doing hanging around?
  • "Black-eye": Tea break, naturally.
  • Player: Naturally. Not sure why I asked.
  • "Black-eye": Fancy some?
  • Player: Tea? Sure.
  • "Black-eye": You'll find a kettle in the box to the-
  • Player: go.

'Gummy'[edit | edit source]

  • Player: What are you up to?
  • "Gummy": Rock, Paper, Scissors. Can't you tell?
  • Player: It was more of a rhetorical question.
  • "Gummy": Rhetora-what?
  • Player: Shouldn't you be working?
  • "Gummy": We are. It's team building.

'The Guns'[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Wow, that looks pretty heavy.
  • "The Guns": Umpf! Yeah, mate...argghh...this is...umpf...hard work...
  • Player: What would happen if I were to say...
  • Player: 135
  • Player: 25
  • Player: 234
  • Player: 2351....
  • "The Guns": Stop! Stop! Humpf...I'll beat you to...urghh...a pulp!
  • Player: Okay, okay! Don't cry!
  • "The Guns": Why, I oughta...

Bonafido[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi there.
  • Bonafido: A'up, [mate/babe], how's it goin'?
  • Player: Not bad, thank you. What are you building here?
  • Bonafido: Nowt at moment. We're on strike!
  • Player: You're on strike? Whatever for?
  • Bonafido: Those strange alchemists are up ta somefin', best go ta one ov 'em.
  • Player: Oh, okay.

'No fingers'[edit | edit source]

  • Player: You seem to like playing with danger, there.
  • "No fingers": They don't call me 'No-fingers' for nothing!
  • Player: Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to have all your fingers.
  • "No fingers": It may seem that way mate, but I think you'll find I don't have any.
  • Player: What?
  • "No fingers": These not be fingers. These 'ere be wooden fingers.
  • Player: Wooden fingers?
  • "No fingers": Yep.
  • Player: That's not possible, how could you move them?
  • "No fingers": Magic wood.
  • Player: Yes, well I think I'd better be going now.

'Currency' the Alchemist[edit | edit source]

  • Player: This is quite the tower.
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Yeah, it cost a fair bit.
  • Player: How much?
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Well, I had to 'alch' a fair few belongings of my fellow alchemists to afford it.
  • Player: I bet they love you for that.
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Everyone loves someone that can create money.
  • Player: I don't.

'Transmute' the Alchemist[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi there. What is this place?
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: Ah, this be the Tower of Life! Beautiful, isn't it?
  • Player: I prefer ordinary houses.
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: Pah, you have no taste.

A Sight to Behold[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi. Interesting building you have here. What's it for?
  • Effigy: You like it? It's simply fabulous, isn't it? A real marvel of modern design made just for my fellow alchemists and I!
  • Player: I see some builders over there. So I assume it's not yet finished.
  • Effigy: What a keen eye this [lad/lass] has! But imagine this: a gargantuan cylinder of expert design, incorporating an inventive inner spiral walkway to multiple planes of wondrous inhabitance!
  • Player: So it's a tower.
  • Effigy: Oh, no, no, no, no. It's going to have a use that will change this world. Or at least it would if we could ever get it finished. See those builders?
  • Player: Yeah, they don't seem to be building much.
  • Effigy: Exactly. They've gone on strike for some petty reason about the tower being too weird. I really can't understand those men.
  • Player: Shame.
  • Effigy: Hey! Maybe you could talk to them? You look like a sturdy [lad/lass]. Maybe you could finish the work?
  • Player: Me?
  • Effigy: Come on! This is the chance of a lifetime!
    • Player: Sure, why not.
      • Effigy: You're fantastic! Oh, I'm so pleased.
      • Player: Calm down. I'm not making any promises.
      • Effigy: Oh, I have a good feeling about this. Right. Go have a word with Bonafido the head builder, See if you can't get him off his backside to do some work. Oh, and I'm Effigy by the way.
      • Player: Nice to meet you Effigy, I'm [Player]. Hold on and I'll see what I can do!
        • If Making History has been completed beforehand
          • Effigy: Wait a minute. Don't I recognise you from somewhere?
          • Player: Erm, do you?
          • Effigy: Do you know the outpost north of Ardougne?
          • Player: Ah, yes, it's now a small museum. Jorral's looking after it. He's really making history with that place.
          • Effigy: Well, the King was going to make that into an alchemy lab for us, but some fool ruined our plans!
          • Player: Ah, yes. Shame. Got to go. Bye.
          • Effigy: Hey, wait up!
          • Player: Best I go sort out this tower. Bye.
    • Player: Sorry, feeling a bit ill today.

The Builders[edit | edit source]

All Kitted Up[edit | edit source]

Bonafido[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Are you Bonafido by any chance?
  • Bonafido: That I am, [mate/babe]. How can I be of assistance?
  • Player: Well, I've just spoken with Effigy about this tower. He tells me he hired you to work but you're on strike. Something about an extended tea break?
  • Bonafido: Extended cup o' char? E's got it all wrong, [mate/babe]. We know those alchemi-whatsits are up ta somefin' weird in building this tower, wot wiv all the machinery, and until we get some answers we're not movin a muscle.
  • Player: Well, he wanted me to do something about it. Is there no way I can convince you to continue?
  • Bonafido: Sorry, [mate/babe].
  • Player: Well, can I at least have a look inside the tower?
  • Bonafido: Only builders are allowed in there, like. You don't look much ov a builder to me.
  • Player: I take offence at that! Give me a chance; you may be surprised.
  • Bonafido: Okay. Come to me kitted out like a builder – hard hat, some boots, scruffy trousers and shirt – and I'll let ya try out ta be one ov us.
  • Player: Count me in!
Talking to Bonafido again
  • Player: Hi Bonafido.
  • Bonafido: Well, if it ain't ol' skinny bones.
  • Player: What clothes do I need?
  • Bonafido: Ya don't seem to be able ta remember anythin'... Deary me. Come back to me wearin' a hard hat, some scruffy trousers, a good top and some hard boots. You shud fand some around 'ere.

Black-eye[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Say, that's a nice helmet.
  • "Black-eye": Why, thanks.
  • Player: I was just wondering if you might be able to help me out with one?
  • "Black-eye": Always glad to help out a budding builder. But first, prove your Construction knowledge by answering some questions. How many nails does it take to make a rocking chair?
    • Player: One?
      • "Black-eye": One? How do you suppose to use a single nail?
    • Player: Five?
      • "Black-eye": Nope. Keep guessing!
    • Player: Three?
      • (correct)
  • "Black-eye": Bingo! Okay, now what takes 3 planks, 3 cloths and 3 nails to make, and helps remove light from a room?
    • Player: Torn curtains?
      • (correct)
    • Player: A brown rug?
      • "Black-eye": Of cause, because that's what everyone needs - a rug up at their window.
    • Player: Opulent curtains?
      • "Black-eye": Those curtains are not going to be in any way opulent, matey.
  • "Black-eye": Nice one. Last question: I like fish and I want to put some in my garden, but I need a special water feature. What materials would I require?
    • Player: 8 clay pieces and 3 limestone bricks?
      • "Black-eye": Oh, and you were so close!
    • Player: 10 clay pieces?
      • (correct)
    • Player: 10 limestone bricks?
      • "Black-eye": Guess again, babe.
  • "Black-eye": That's it! You seem to know your stuff. I got a spare helmet from a builder that died on... I mea, err, had to leave the job for greener pastures.
  • Player: Greener pastures? Fair enough. Wait a minute! Is there blood on this helmet?
  • "Black-eye": Erm, no, that's just, erm, paint. Yes...paint! That's what it is!
  • Player: Oh, okay. Thanks. Bye.
  • "Black-eye": Ha, gullible fool.
  • Player: What?
  • "Black-eye": Nothing.

'Gummy'[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Why, hello there!
  • "Gummy": What do you want?
  • Player: Clothing.
  • "Gummy": Nope. Need mine.
  • Player: Ah, come on. You know you want to give me free stuff.
  • "Gummy": Stop bothering me, can't you see I'm busy?
  • Player: Yes, VERY busy I'm sure.
  • "Gummy": Okay, okay. The other day I was drying my clothes on a line down by the shore. A storm hit and some of my clothing went missing.
  • Player: Likely story. Sure you weren't skinny dipping?
  • "Gummy": Just go look and leave me be! Search around the tower and you may find them.

'The Guns'[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi, I'm looking to get some kit to look like one of you guys. Anything you might be able to help me out with?
  • "The Guns": Well... Urmpf! Ye can 'ave me shirt...
  • Player: Hmmm. Has it been cleaned? I don't want some sweaty hand-me-down.
  • "The Guns": What? Huhmf! It ain't ever been...uurgg...worn.
  • Player: Well, that sounds good. Can I have it then?
  • "The Guns": Can't...hurr...see why not. This is firsty work doh. Could do wiv a beer.
  • Player: Sure. What's your 'usual'?
  • "The Guns": I'm a I like the bar in Yanille and their cheap beer...
  • Player: Simple, cheap beer. No problem.
Bringing back the beer
  • Player: Hi, I'm looking to get some kit to look like one of you guys. You said you wanted a beer?
  • "The Guns": Ahhh! Smashin'!
Talking to 'The Guns' again
  • Player: What do you do when you're not lifting logs above your head?
  • "The Guns": In my free time?
  • Player: Yes.
  • "The Guns": All sorts. I like...hummft...a good kebab and a cold beer down...urrghh...the pub. And for those quiet evenings...hurrr... A bit of needlepoint is always welcome.
  • Player: I can honestly say you're a very original guy.

'No fingers'[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello. I was just wondering... I don't suppose you have any spare clothing you could lend me?
  • "No fingers": I do have many boots.
  • Player: Ah, thanks.
  • "No fingers": But there's no way I'm giving any to you.
  • Player: Oh, but why? I could pay you!
  • "No fingers": Nope. Only real builders can wear builders' boots, and you're not even close.

The Right 'Tude[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hey, Bonafido.
  • Bonafido: Well, if it ain't ol' skinny bones.
  • Player: So... How do I look?
  • Bonafido: Like a builder frew and frew... Good job, [mate/babe]! Nah, it's time to test yur skills.
  • Player: Okay, what do you want me to build?
  • Bonafido: Build? Hahaha, don't be a plonka! It's not building skills that makes a true builder, you have to have the right mental attitude, yeah? Let me see... You've plenty of work to do, but you need a drink fast – what do you go for?
    • Player: Orange juice
      • Bonafido: What are you? A healthy builder? Of course, not juice!
    • Player: Tea
      • Bonafido: Bingo! Ain't nufin' betta.
    • Player: Bottle of wine
      • Bonafido: Ooh, got '[Mister/Miss] Fancy Pants' here and [his/her] posh wine. You're no builder.
  • Bonafido: Now, let's hear you whistle!
    • Do a little dance and whistle as loud as you can.
      • Bonafido: What on RuneScape are you doing? Get out of my sight.
    • Whistle a pretty tune.
      • Bonafido: You know, you have quite a talent there.
        • Player: Why thank you. Do you think I have what it takes to become a famous whistler?
        • Bonafido: No.
        • Player: Oh.
    • Whistle for attention.
      • Bonafido: Wahey! Nice one. Next question.
  • Bonafido: What's a good sign that you need to replace your trousers?
    • Player: Your legs are getting a bit cold?
      • Bonafido: Exactamondo! Glad to see you are thinking like a builder.
      • Player: I am?
      • Bonafido: Yes, obviously if your legs are cold, you lost your trousers altogether!
      • Player: That's just what I was thinking.
    • Player: They're ripped and full of holes.
      • Bonafido: No, no, no. That's the only way they should be!
    • Player: The colour is starting to fade.
      • Bonafido: Oh no, mate, you're really not getting the hang of this are you?
  • Bonafido: Now the last question – what do you do if you cut your finger?
    • Player: Cry.
      • Bonafido: When was the last time you saw a builder cry?
    • Player: Carry on, it'll fix itself.
      • Bonafido: Yep, that's the one!
      • Player: Suppose it could get infected then, but that'll just impress the lads all the more.
      • Bonafido: Exactly, you're getting the hang of this quickly!
    • Player: Fetch a plaster and ointment.
      • Bonafido: Look, Player, let me give you a bit of advice. If you want to look weak, that's the best way to go.
  • Bonafido: Cosmic! I canna see no reason why ya can't go in t'tower now. But be careful, there be some precarious situations in there.
  • Player: So what's left to build?
  • Bonafido: Well, there's a pipe system, a pressure machine and a strange cage up at the top that needs finishing off. The alchemists couldn't explain what they were for.
  • Player: Thanks!
  • Bonafido: Hey, [mate/babe]. Just as a warnin', you gonna need a hammer and saw to make anything in there.

Another Round[edit | edit source]

Bonafido[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi again Bonafido.
  • Bonafido: Hi, '[Player] the Builder'! Been into the tower yet?
  • Player: Not yet. I'll go when I'm ready. I'm taking my time, may have a quick cup of tea first.
  • Bonafido: Hahaha.

'Gummy'[edit | edit source]

  • Player: You winning?
  • "Gummy": It's a draw at the moment. First it was best of three, then it was best of five.
  • Player: And now?
  • "Gummy": Best of a hundred and one.

'No fingers'[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi.
  • "No fingers": Don't suppose you've seen any boots around here? Size nine, steel toed, brown leather...
  • Player: Nope, not at all. I'd best be going. Have a nice day. Bye!

'Transmute' the Alchemist[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I'm a builder!
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: I question why you are so pleased about this.
  • Player: Well, I think it's a positive step in my career as a courageous adventurer.

'Currency' the Alchemist[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi. Sorry, but why do they call you 'Currency'?
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: That's down to my interest in all things of monetary value.
  • Player: You must be pretty rich then.
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: I wish. And I was, up until recently.
  • Player: What happened?
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: This tower. Set me back a fair few million.
  • Player: I'll bet! It pleases you, then, to know that I have just become a builder and have been granted permission to go mess around inside.
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: This is not a good day for me.

Effigy[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Guess what!
  • Effigy: What?
  • Player: I'm a fully-fledged builder!
  • Effigy: Marvelous! So you can bring this tower to life!
  • Player: I'm not sure about that, but I'll take a look and see what I can do.
  • Effigy: Oh, what a wondrous person you are!

The Tower of Life[edit | edit source]

Ground Floor[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Wow, this place looks special. Best I look around for something to fix.

First Floor[edit | edit source]

  • The machine appears unfinished. You're going to need some materials: 4 coloured balls, 3 pieces of metal sheeting and 4 valve wheels.
  • Construct it?
    • Yes.
      • You built the machine! It still needs calibrating, though. The pressure seems to be affected by holes in the pipes. Perhaps I can block them up with the balls.
    • No.
After fixing it
  • The machine is working!

Second Floor[edit | edit source]

  • The machine appears unfinished. You're going to need some materials: 6 rivets, 4 metal pipes, and 5 metal rings.
  • Construct it?
    • Yes.
      • You built the machine! It still needs calibrating, though. Looks like the pipes need connecting, to allow the liquid to travel further up the tower!
    • No.
After fixing it
  • The machine is working!

The Top of the Tower[edit | edit source]

  • The cage appears unfinished. You're going to need some materials: 5 metal bars and 4 bottles of binding fluid.
  • Construct it?
    • Yes.
      • You built the cage! Some of the bars need to be completed – you need to get the sizes correct, though.
    • No.
After finishing it
  • The cage is complete!

Completion[edit | edit source]

  • The tower should be in working order now! Best go and tell Effigy!

Round Four[edit | edit source]

Bonafido[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Heya, Bona. I had a look at the building. There's some complex machinery in there! Going to cost someone.
  • Bonafido: Yep, told ya so. Any idea what those alchemists are up ta?
  • Player: Well, I agree now they're up to something. The question is what...? I don't think we're going to find out much from the alchemists, though.
  • Bonafido: So what are you going to do?
  • Player: I shall see if I can't fix it up and see for myself what is going on. Should be able to get a good reward from them. But don't worry, I'll make sure your efforts don't go unpaid.
  • Bonafido: You're a star among builders, darling!

'Transmute' the Alchemist[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I must say, the inside of the tower is really something to behold.
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: Why, thanks. You'll find various pieces of machinery to fix in there. You can no doubt find the materials in there, too.

'Currency' the Alchemist[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi, Currency. Got any spare cash?
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Nope; you?
  • Player: No, do you?
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Afraid not. You?
  • Player: I'm going to stop before this gets violent.

Splendiferous Accomplishment[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I've fixed all the machinery.
  • Effigy: Hurrah! Splendiferous!
  • Player: Now listen, what does it all do? Why are you-
  • Effigy: Years of devoted work. It's complete! Hey, guys! It's finished!
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: At last! Our work is complete!
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: I can almost taste the riches!
  • Effigy: To the top of the tower, fellow alchemists!
  • Player: Wait! What about-
Fade out/in
  • Player: Why does nobody listen? Best I follow them, I suppose.

The Full Truth[edit | edit source]

Bonafido[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I'm really getting annoyed with those alchemists.
  • Bonafido: Why?
  • Player: Well, I completed the tower and I still have no idea what it does, and then as soon as I tell Effigy of my hard work, he doesn't say one word of thanks and legs it off into the tower!
  • Bonafido: Well, I'll be a rabbit in da eyes of a fox. Best ya chase after 'im then and get us our dosh! Don't you do a runner, now!
  • Player: Don't worry, I'm not about to let Effigy get away with treating us builders like this!

Creature Creation[edit | edit source]

  • Player: What on RuneScape is...
  • Effigy: It is time, my friends! The culmination of our work is complete!
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: Long time indeed!
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Many hours we have worked!
  • Effigy: A great many years of planning and preparation has brought us here, my fellow alchemists. Now we have... The Tower of Life! We can already create gold, we can already transform matter from one thing to another, and now we have the ability to create life itself! We owe much to the power of Guthix, for without the life essence he left below ground, we would have never been able to bring this tower alive!
  • Player: They're insane!
  • Effigy: It begins! The first day of creation!
The Homunculus is created
  • Effigy: It worked!
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Marvelous!
  • Player: How is this possible?
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: It's alive!
  • Effigy: We did it. A Homunculus!
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: Beautiful.
  • Homunculus: Nwwooo! Whyyy? Where meee? Glarrraaa
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: It can talk! A real success.
  • Homunculus: Where me? Skin burn...arrgh...eyes hurt...let me go!
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Excellent. It can feel! It's self-aware. This is really a great day.
  • Homunculus: Whyeee cage? Argh...please help me! Graaahhh!
  • Player: This is terrible, you must do something!
  • Effigy: Ah, it's our helper. Thank you for fixing the tower: we will reward you greatly.
  • Player: I don't want a reward, just let it go. Can't you see it's in pain?
  • Effigy: Don't worry. It has no soul: it has no worth.
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: Yes, it's just an experiment in alchemy.
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: The creature must be grateful for his creation.
  • Homunculus: You create hurt. Not fair, let me free!
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Silence, creature!
  • Effigy: Yes, be still and quit your moaning.
  • Homunculus: No, mean, nasty peoples.
  • Effigy: Shut up, you pathetic being.
  • Homunculus: Arghh! Let me go!
  • Effigy: Don't make us hurt you.
  • Player: Stop this! Let it go!
  • Homunculus: So horrible beings. Daarrrr!
  • Player: It's getting angry.
  • Effigy: You should know your place, adventurer. This is no concern of yours now.
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: You should be satisfied and leave. Then we can begin our experiments.
  • Player: Not wise.
  • Homunculus: Arghhh!
  • Effigy: Oh no...
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: Get out of the tower before it's too late!
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Run away!
  • Effigy: Flee for your lives!
  • Player: They've run away. I must go confront those alchemists downstairs.

Creature Cruelty[edit | edit source]

'Currency' the Alchemist[edit | edit source]

  • Player: That is one very sad creature.
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: It'll be alright: it just needs a pat on the back.
  • Player: Why am I suddenly glad that you're not responsible for sorting out this mess?

'Transmute' the Alchemist[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I can't believe what you guys have done.
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: Marvellous.
  • Player: No. Scary!
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: That too.

Bonafido[edit | edit source]

  • Player: You won't BELIEVE what I just saw!
  • Bonafido: What? What?
  • Player: That tower is...a tower of life! I just witnessed with my very own eyes the creation of a homunculus.
  • Bonafido: A homanque-what?
  • Player: Homunculus! They have found a way of creating life itself, but the creature they have made is not a happy being.
  • Bonafido: And our money?
  • Player: Are you listening at all? This creature is very dangerous. It needs to be stopped. And fast!
  • Bonafido: I'm glad you've got the money sorted.

Effigy[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Effigy!
  • Effigy: I know, I know. This is a truly dangerous creation, of all proportions.
  • Player: I hope you learn from this.
  • Effigy: I will. I will. Next time we'll use a stronger cage.
  • Player: What?
  • Effigy: A bad joke.
  • Player: I'll just ignore that. So, what about that Homunculus up there? You can't just leave it.
  • Effigy: Maybe you could go have a talk with it?
  • Player: Why me? You created it!
  • Effigy: Pleeeaaase.
  • Player: No.
  • Effigy: Pretty please with a cherry on top?
  • Player: No way!
  • Effigy: I'll make sure you're compensated. You won't be forgotten for this!
  • Player: Why do I get the feeling I'm doomed to go face that creature on my own?
  • Effigy: Good [boy/girl]! I knew you would help us!
  • Player: Oh well. My mum did always tell me that experience teaches fools.

Rhyme or Reason[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello?
  • Homunculus: Leeet mwee free. Argyyghh.
  • Player: It's okay. I'm here to help you.
  • Homunculus: Lieees. Grahhh.
  • Player: No, honest. I helped the alchemists, but I had no idea what their plans involved.
  • Homunculus: Arggh, so alchemist create me, now I trapped for experiments. But still I confused.
  • Player: About what?
  • Homunculus: Me see logic, feeeel magic. A mix of the two.
  • Player: Hmmm. A creature of logic and magic. Don't fear, I shall fix your mind!
  • Homunculus: No so sure it is easy to do. No one canna 'elp. Arghhh.
  • Player: Watch me.
  • You must now make sense of the Homunculus's mind. Force him to either follow the line of logic or the line of magic.
  • Player: You tell me that you're confused, so ask me some questions!
  • Homunculus: Ah, please...
  • How can I make fire appear at my fingertips?
    • Get some logs and a tinderbox.
    • With the aid of 5 fire runes.
    • That's impossible! No one can do that!
  • How do dragons breathe fire?
    • Not too sure. I've never seen it happen.
    • With the help of the magical dragonstones!
    • By ignition of gas in their belly as they exhale.
  • What do people do, day-in, day-out?
    • Runecraft, enchant jewellery, perform alchemy.
    • Eat, sleep, nothing that exciting.
    • Fletching, Crafting, Smithing.
  • What could I do with unwanted bones?
    • Bury them.
    • I'd like to think you wouldn't be carrying bones around.
    • Turn them into bananas or peaches!
  • What's the best way to travel?
    • I'm not really much of a traveller, sorry.
    • Run, run as fast as you can.
    • Depends where you are headed, but teleport spells are a safe bet.
  • I hear people whisper of potions...
    • Yes, you can make magic potions to boost your skills.
    • People mix together ingredients in vials. The nutrients will help you.
    • Yes, liquid-filled vials. Big deal.
  • How are rune stones created?
    • By harnessing the power of the gods!
    • Never seen one personally.
    • Take a rune stone to an altar and use a talisman.
  • Can people move things with the power of the mind?
    • Perhaps. I've never seen it myself, though.
    • Yep, you can use the Telekinetic Grab spell.
    • Sure. Use your brain to tell someone to move it!
After fulfilling one side
  • Homunculus: That it! Make sense now, thank you!
  • Player: I decided to root for [magic/logic].
  • Homunculus: No does matter which you chose. Me needed organise my thoughts. I see there is truth in both.
  • Player: Okay.
  • Homunculus: Now we go scare alchemies – they have been wrong to do this! Although I have life, they mustn't go about this again.
  • Player: Sounds like a good plan. Can you get out of that cage?
  • Homunculus: Easy. You run down and I watching from here. I surprise right moment.
  • Player: Okay.
Talking to the Homunculus again
  • Player: How are you?
  • Homunculus: Better. You been mine angel. I now have the understanding I need.
  • Player: My pleasure.
  • Homunculus: Please, alchemists you speak, me appear to surprise.
  • Player: I'm not sure I understand, but okay, I will go have a word with them.
  • Homunculus: Thank you.

Never Again[edit | edit source]

Bonafido[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi, Bonafido.
  • Bonafido: Hi. How's the tower?
  • Player: Finished, really.
  • Bonafido: Looks like we're out of a job then.
  • Player: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. There are frequently new buildings required around RuneScape. I'm sure your services will be called upon again.

'Currency' the Alchemist[edit | edit source]

  • Player: The Homunculus is a bit better off now.
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Excellent. So we can go back in.
  • Player: Not just yet.

'Transmute' the Alchemist[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Well, I've sat down and had a good chat with the Homunculus.
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: And?
  • Player: You'll soon find out!
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: Huh?

'Effigy'[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Effigy, I need a word with you.
  • Effigy: You've killed it?
  • Player: Not quite...
  • Homunculus: Boo.
  • "Transmute" the Alchemist: Oh no, look!
  • "Currency" the Alchemist: Arrghhh! Have mercy!
  • Effigy: You set it free. Oh, please don't hurt me!
  • Homunculus: Hahaha. Me not hurt. Now tell. What you plans? What you do with me?
  • Effigy: Please, we just wanted to experiment. We wanted to create life. Long ago we found a strange source of energy that we believe was left behind by the great Guthix. He used to create life with such ease. We realised we should be able to use this powerful substance, but we needed to bring together our magic along with the logical construction of the builders. It seemed through our experiments that even magic needs a certain level of rules and laws to work.
  • Homunculus: Bad play with. Naughty men. Go! Go, never return!
  • Effigy: Right away, right away!
  • Homunculus: Me look dungeon, [Player]. Please meet there.

Equivalent Exchange[edit | edit source]

  • Player: This place is bizarre!
  • Homunculus: Me do know. Pleased you rescue.
  • Player: My pleasure. So what is this place?
  • Homunculus: They use essence of Guthix power. Create tower pump this from ground. Make me with godly power. Dangerous.
  • Player: Oh dear, but you're okay now. You have this place to reside in.
  • Homunculus: Thank you. For reward you speak me, I makes monsters.

Post-Quest Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Homunculus[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi there, you mentioned something about creating monsters...?
  • Homunculus: Good! I gain know from alchemists and builders. Me make beings.
  • Player: Interesting. Tell me if I'm right. By the alchemists and builders creating you, you have inherited their combined knowledge in much the same way that a child might inherit the looks of their parents.
  • Homunculus: Yes, you right!
  • Player: So what do you need me to do?
  • Homunculus: Inspect symbol of life altars around dungeon. You see item give. Use item on altar. Activate altar to create, you fight.
  • Player: Okay. Sounds like a challenge.