Transcript of Tortle Combat

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Contents

Starting out[edit | edit source]

Talking to Postie Pete-za[edit | edit source]

Before accepting the quest[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi Pete!
  • Postie Pete-za: Oh hello Player, how did you know it was me?
  • Player: You have a very distinctive gait. Who else would you be?
  • Postie Pete-za: I suppose I do.
  • Postie Pete-za: I'm in disguise so no-one asks me to post anything on my day off. I'm pretending to deliver pizza so I can engage in my favourite pastime.
  • Player: Which is?
  • Postie Pete-za: Delivering pizza.
  • Player: That seems very similar to your day job.
  • Postie Pete-za: They are worlds apart Player! For a start most post isn't this warm.
  • Postie Pete-za: ...
  • Postie Pete-za: The smell is different too.
  • Postie Pete-za: Anyway, I need your help. We received a request via carrier rat for a pizza in this location. The client is in the sewer somewhere, and I'd rather not drag my jawbone through the muck.
  • Postie Pete-za:Can you take the pizza down into the manhole for me?
  • Quest interface opens.
  • Accept miniquest?
    • Not right now
      • Player: Sorry Pete, these are new shoes, maybe another time?
      • Postie Pete-za: See you around Player.
    • Accept quest
      • Player: Taking a pizza into a sewer sounds like my idea of a good time.
      • Postie Pete-za: Glad you see it that way!
      • Pete gives you a piping hot pizza.
      • Player receives a Pizza.
      • Postie Pete-za: There you go! You are looking for a creature named Wolfgang. He and his friends are tortles.
Talking to Postie Pete-za again[edit | edit source]

Attempting to eat the pizza[edit | edit source]

  • If you eat this pizza you will bring shame and disgrace on your family name for generations to come.
    You will also ruin your diet.
  • Eat the pizza?
  • Yes.
    • Player: What have I done?
    • Player: I seems to have lost the pizza...
    • Postie Pete-za: If you wanted a pizza to eat yourself you only had to ask, Player.
    • Player: I didn't...
    • Postie Pete-za: It's fine, we've all done things we aren't proud of, Player. Now, could you make that delivery for me?
    • Pete gives you a piping hot pizza.
    • Postie Pete-za: There you go! You are looking for a creature named Wolfgang. He and his friends are tortles.
    • (Continues below)
  • No.
    • Good choice.
    • (Continues below)

Varrock Sewers[edit | edit source]

Before talking to Wolfgang[edit | edit source]

Talking to Gustav, Johann, or Edvard[edit | edit source]

  • [Gustav/Johann/Edvard]: Ah you must have our supper, splendid! Pop over to Wolfgang and let him know would you?

Talking to "Weird" Alfred[edit | edit source]

  • Alfred doesn't seem like he is up for talking right now.

Talking to Wolfgang[edit | edit source]

  • Wolfgang: Supper is on is it? Excellent work, hand it over would you?
  • You give the pizza to the tortle.
  • Player: So... what on Gielinor are five tortles doing in a place like this?
  • Wolfgang: It is quite a peculiar story actually. For a long time we were on an island out in the middle of goodness knows where. It was a lovely place, much brighter than here..
  • Cut-scene begins of of trapped tortles. Tortletrapper13224 walks up.
  • Tortletrapper13224: TOOOOORTLES!
  • Tortletrapper13224 casts Trap Telekinesis and the Tortles are mistakenly teleported to the Abyss and then to the Varrock Sewers
  • Wolfgang: What madness just transpired?
  • Gustav: Our island, where has it gone?
  • Johann: What is this damp and dark place?
  • Edvard: The sun has gone out! We are doomed!
  • Player: Being trapped and teleported here sounds like quite the ordeal.
  • Wolfgang: It has been a bit of an adjustment I can tell you. Alfred has not been the same since.
  • Player: He does look worse off than the rest of you.
  • Wolfgang: I am certain he will pull through though. he is a real trooper. When we were back home, I witnessed him win a truel against a giant jellyfish and crassian!
  • Player: What is a truel?
  • Wolfgang: A three way duel. A battle of skill and wits.
  • Wolfgang: As you can see, our trip to the Abyss has made communication a bit easier too. I haven't felt this eloquent for a while.
  • Player: You are remarkably well spoken compared to most of the creatures I've seen hunted.
  • Wolfgang: People hunt tortles? That is barbaric!
  • Choose an option
    • So.. what on Gielinor are five tortles doing in a place like this?
    • Being trapped and teleported here sounds like quite the ordeal
    • Why haven't you left this sewer?
      • Player: Why haven't you left this sewer?
      • Wolfgang: The ladder that leads to the light has presented a significant challenge. We shall conquer this foe eventually, but for now our home is here.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • What will you do now?
      • Player: What will you do now?
      • Wolfgang: I have been working on a plan. Our new found clarity has revealed to us that this place is a little more hostile than we would all like, so we need to toughen up a bit. There are some powerful looking warriors on our island, the Death Lotus I think they were called. Not nice people, but they were well practised, which is exactly what we need to be.
      • Player: So what is the plan?
      • Wolfgang: Step one: Improve our agility.
        Step two: Improve our speed.
        Step three: Arm ourselves.
      • Wolfgang: As such I would like us to found a training dojo here as our new home. You seem a capable adventurer type, could you give us a nudge in the right direction?
      • Help the tortles create their dojo?
        • Yes.
          • Wolfgang: Excellent, thank you very much.
          • Wolfgang: The first thing we need is some equipment to train on, particularly items that will help with our agility. I placed a contract with an estate agent for the construction of some equipment. As of yet it has not arrived. Would you mind hurrying the estate agent along for us?
          • Player: Of course.
          • (Dialogue ends)
        • No.
          • Wolfgang: That is a shame.
          • (Dialogue ends)
    • Goodbye!
      • Player: Goodbye!
      • Wolfgang: Farewell!
      • (Dialogue ends)
  • Talking to Wolfgang again
  • Wolfgang: Have you located our equipment yet?
  • Player: I need to go visit the estate agent.
  • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Gustav after delivering pizza[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello, what are you up to?
  • Gustav: I am performing our initial cartography of this area. The rats are proving tricky to map.
  • Player: I'm not sure that is how maps work.
  • Gustav: It will be soon.

Talking to Johann after delivering pizza[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello, how are you?
  • Johann: It has been a disturbing few days. I am taking time out to recuperate from my ordeal.
  • Johann: I made the grave error of experimenting with the ladder.

Talking to Edvard after delivering pizza[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello, what are you up to?
  • Edvard: I am considering the composition of the water in this place to determine if it is safe to drink.
  • Player: I wouldn't!
  • Edvard: Duly noted.

Talking to Estate Agent[edit | edit source]

  • Estate Agent: Hello. Welcome to the Gielinorian Housing Agency! What can I do for you?
  • What would you like to discuss?
    • Tortle Combat
      • Player: I don't suppose you have had a contract request from Varrock Sewers have you?
      • Estate Agent: Ah, so the culprit finally shows their face!
      • Player: What do you mean?
      • Estate Agent: Rats! I keep getting rats offering me formal contract requests! Day and night! Have you tried selling a house after a rat approaches you with a letter at a viewing?
      • Player: It has never come up, no.
      • Estate Agent: Have you ever tried to sleep after a rat wakes you up with a memo?
      • Player: I don't think the tor... I mean, my client, realised this would cause you such an issue.
      • Estate Agent: Well tell your client I don't want their business.
      • Player: Okay.
      • Estate Agent: And get rid of those rats!
      • (Dialogue ends)
    • Something else
      • Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Estate Agent continues

Returning to Varrock Sewers[edit | edit source]

Talking to Wolfgang[edit | edit source]

  • Select an option
    • You should probably stop sending rats to the estate agent.
      • Player: You should probably stop sending rats to the estate agent.
      • Wolfgang: Why?
      • Player: It is not considered good form to send rats to chase people down with formal letters.
      • Wolfgang: This new world will take some getting used to.
      • Wolfgang: So the estate agent won't help us?
      • Player: I'm afraid not.
      • Wolfgang: Who usually does his contract work for him?
      • Player: Actually, it's me!
      • Wolfgang: A startling and useful coincidence!
      • Wolfgang: Then I must ask, can you construct our training equipment?
      • Player: How could I say no to that face?
      • Wolfgang: Through the information of mouth words.
      • Player: Yes, I'll help.
      • Wolfgang: We will clear some space for you to build in.
      • Screen fades out and back in. There are now construction hotspots in the room
      • (Continues below)
    • Goodbye!
      • Player: Goodbye!
      • Wolfgang: Farewell!
      • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Wolfgang again[edit | edit source]

  • Choose an option:
    • What sort of equipment do you want?
      • Player: What sort of equipment do you want?
      • Wolfgang: Something to fight, something to climb, something to swing on and something to balance on.
      • Player: Have you tried any of those actions before?
      • Wolfgang: Absolutely not, they sound dangerous.
      • Player: I'm sure you will get the hang of them soon.
      • Player: I should probably survey the area and see where I can fit things in.
      • (Dialogue ends)
    • Goodbye!
      • Player: Goodbye!
      • Wolfgang: Farewell!
      • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Wolfgang again[edit | edit source]

  • What sort of equipment do you want?
    • Player: What sort of equipment do you want?
    • Wolfgang: Something to fight, something to climb, something to swing on and something to balance on.
    • Player: Have you tried any of those actions before?
    • Wolfgang: Absolutely not, they sound dangerous.
    • Player: I'm sure you will get the hang of them soon.
  • Goodbye!
    • Player: Goodbye!
    • Wolfgang: Farewell!

Completed building equipment[edit | edit source]

Talking to Wolfgang[edit | edit source]

  • Select an option
    • I have Constructed all your equipment!
      • Player: I have Constructed all your equipment!
      • Wolfgang: This is wonderful news! Thank you very much.
      • Wolfgang: This equipment will improve our agility substantially.
      • Player: I'm glad you like it.
      • Wolfgang: That completes step one of the plan.
      • Wolfgang: Gustav had an idea of how we can tackle step two, would you mind having a chat with him?
    • Goodbye!
      • Player: Goodbye!
      • Wolfgang: Farewell!

Talking to Wolfgang again[edit | edit source]

Talking to Gustav[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello, I'm here to help with improving your speed.
  • Gustav: Yes, excellent. I would actually like to harness some of the energy that teleported us here. What do you know about teleportation tablets?
  • Player: How does a tortle know about magic tablets?
  • Gustav: The rats all had interesting things to tell us since we appeared here.
  • Player: I find these rodents to be disturbingly well informed.
  • Player: So how does a teleportation tablet help you?
  • Gustav: I would like to make a short range version. So we can catch up to people and make daring escapes.
  • Player: That's actually a pretty good idea.
  • Player: So along with speech, your trip to the abyss has gained you a deep understanding of runes has it?
  • Gustav: Not at all. But as I understand it you adventurers just rub items together until you make something useful anyway, so how hard can it be?
  • Player: That's very comforting.
  • Gustav: Would you mind finding me some materials to work with? I need two runes used for teleportation, some soft clay, to mould the tab, and something to calibrate with. The calibration subject needs to be living, and weigh the same or more than us.
  • Player: Can't one of your friends do it?
  • Gustav: Oh goodness no, I could not ask them to take that sort of risk.
  • Player: ...
  • Gustav: I suggest you find a nice, docile, plump rabbit.
  • Player: Granny Potterington might be able to help us with that.
  • Gustav: Wonderful! Bring the items when you have them!

Talking to Gustav again[edit | edit source]

  • Gustav: Have you acquired those items yet?
  • Player: I don't think so, what did I need again?
  • Gustav: I need two runes used for teleportation, some soft clay to mould the tab, and a tortle sized rabbit to calibrate with.
  • Player: I should probably go and see Granny Potterington for help with the rabbit.

Talking to Wolfgang after Gustav[edit | edit source]

  • Wolfgang: Training on this new equipment will have me feeling 107 again!

Talking to Edvard[edit | edit source]

  • Edvard: Do you have any advice for our training?
  • Player: Never engage an assailant who is armed with a banana.
  • Edvard: Why not?
  • Player: They clearly know something you don't.

Talking to Johann[edit | edit source]

  • Johann: Does this equipment come with a self-righting mechanism?
  • Player: I haven't made anything like that.
  • Johann: Upside down is my least favourite combat stance.

Talking to "Weird" Alfred[edit | edit source]

  • Alfred doesn't seem like he is up for talking right now.

Acquiring the rabbit[edit | edit source]

Talking to Granny Potterington[edit | edit source]

  • Granny Potterington: (Random greeting)
  • Choose an option:
    • [Ask about Tortle Combat.]
      • Player: Do you know anything about fattening rabbits?
      • Granny Potterington's eyes light up brighter than usual.
      • Granny Potterington: Are you entering them into an animal show, dear?
      • Player: Yes, let's go with that.
      • Granny Potterington: How plump are we aiming for?
      • Player: Tortle sized please.
      • Granny Potterington: Tortle sized? That's a tricky one... Unless... Yes, it's time!
      • Player: ...
      • Granny Potterington: Be a blueberry and get me a dense honeycomb and a kebab, would you?
      • If the Player doesn't have the items with them:
        • Player: I don't like where this is going...
        • Granny Potterington: Dense honeycomb can be made by popping rosemary in our buzzy bee's homes. Have fun, dear!
      • If the Player has the items with them:
        • Player: Actually, I have those on me. They are standard farming supplies after all.
        • Granny Potterington: Have you been looking at my special recipe book? Such naughtiness!
        • (Continues below)
    • [Ask about Granny.]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)
    • [Ask about the farm.]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)
    • [More...]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)

Talking to Granny Potterington with the items[edit | edit source]

  • Granny Pottering: (Random greeting)
  • Choose an option:
    • [Ask about Tortle Combat.]
      • Granny Potterington: I need a dense honeycomb and a kebab to help you out, dear.
      • Player I have them right here!
      • Granny Potterington: Excellent.
      • Granny grabs the items and, with a surprising swiftness, conceals them behind her basket.
      • Granny Potterington: ...
      • Granny produces an unfathomably heavy honeycomb and smiles sweetly.
      • Granny Potterington: There you go, dear. Give that to a common brown rabbit. Better make it an adult or elder rabbit, I wouldn't like to feed that to a young'un.
      • Player: I'm not sure if I want this to work or not.
    • [Ask about Granny.]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)
    • [Ask about the farm.]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)
    • [More...]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)

Talking to Granny Potterington after receiving the extremely dense honeycomb[edit | edit source]

  • Granny Pottering: (Random greeting)
  • Choose an option:
    • [Ask about Tortle Combat.]
      • Granny Potterington: Give that honeycomb to an adult or elder common brown rabbit.
      • Player: I'm working up to it.
      • (Dialogue ends)
    • [Ask about Granny.]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)
    • [Ask about the farm.]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)
    • [More...]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)

Talking to Granny Potterington after feeding the rabbit the extremely dense honeycomb[edit | edit source]

  • Granny Pottering: (Random greeting)
  • Choose an option:
    • [Ask about Tortle Combat.]
      • Granny Potterington: How did the show go, dear?
      • Player: Everything turned out fine, thank you.
      • (Dialogue ends)
    • [Ask about Granny.]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)
    • [Ask about the farm.]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)
    • [More...]
      • (Normal, non-miniquest dialogue with Granny Potterington continues)

Feeding the rabbit the extremely dense honeycomb[edit | edit source]

  • The rabbit begins to munch happily on the honeycomb. As it continues to eat, the rabbit's pace slows. It seems unable to stop itself eating, however. The rabbit's eyes bulge slightly as it scoffs down the last of the honeycomb. It breathes a deep sigh of relief.
  • The rabbit and the honeycomb are replaced in the Player's inventory with a Plump rabbit
  • The rabbit is noticably[sic] heavier.

Feeding the extremely dense honeycomb to a different animal[edit | edit source]

  • I really don't think I should feed this to something that isn't a common brown rabbit without being prompted. I probably shouldn't feed it to the rabbit either, but that is a separate moral issue.

Making teleportation tablets[edit | edit source]

Returning to Gustav[edit | edit source]

  • Gustav: Have you acquired those items yet?
  • Player: I have them all right here.
  • Gustav: Fantastic work!
  • Gustav works quickly to create a teleportation tablet
  • Player: This tablet is nice, but what happened to my rabbit?
  • Gustav: It is gone.
  • Player: Where?
  • Gustav: If my calculations are correct, I have sent it to a secluded forest.
  • Player: And if they're not?
  • Gustav: That is best not to think about.
  • Gustav: Would you mind passing on the tablet to Edvard? He offered to test it for us.
  • Player: I thought you said you couldn't ask your friends to take that risk?
  • Gustav: I didn't ask, he offered.
  • Player: I guess that is fine then.

Attempting to break the Tortle teleportation tablet prototype[edit | edit source]

  • If you break this tablet that has been calibrated for tortles, there is no telling what will happen. You might be teleported two steps to the left, or you might be turned inside out.
  • Take a break with the tablet?
    • Yes.
      • You and the tablet spend a few moments watching the world go by.
      • Player: Well, best get back to work.
    • No.
      • Dialogue terminates.

Testing the tablets with Edvard[edit | edit source]

  • Edvard: Hello, have you made the tablet yet?
  • Player: Yes, it's right here.
  • Edvard: Then it is time.
  • Cutscene begins.
  • Edvard: This is a small step for tortle, but a giant leap for tortlekind.
  • Edvard steps forward onto the tablet. Edvard teleports. The tablet moves across the sewer water, but Edvard does not.
  • Player: He's gone!
  • Cutscene ends
  • Player: I knew we should have calibrated it with a better tortle substitute...
  • Wolfgang: This is an unprecedented disaster. However, we cannot let it impede our progress towards a safer existence. Gustav will continue to perfect our teleportation device until such accidents are made impossible. Meanwhile, please reconvene with me to discuss our next step toward becoming capable warriors.

Arm them up[edit | edit source]

Talking to Wolfgang[edit | edit source]

  • Wolfgang: One cannot expect to make great steps in life without falling on one's back and struggling to get up for a few days straight. I am certain young Edvard will be just fine. It is not his first time being magically ripped away from his home now is it?
  • Player: I suppose not. But are you sure you wouldn't like to...
  • Wolfgang: Ah do not worry yourself. He will surely be back and training with us in no time. In the meantime, could you convene with Johann regarding step three of our plan? He has been fruitlessly waiting for a weapon shipment.

Talking to Wolfgang after Johann[edit | edit source]

  • Wolfgang: I cannot wait to teleport behind those who wish to do us harm and strike them down with my shiny blade!
  • Player: I sure hope I never get on your bad side...

Talking to Gustav[edit | edit source]

  • Gustav: Oh Edvard, poor chap. We can only hope for his safe return.
  • Gustav: I will continue to make adjustments to this device in his absence.
  • Gustav: Perhaps I can fatten the resident rats with pizza and tie them together to achieve a more appropriate tortle analogue!
  • Player: Good luck with that!

Talking to Gustav after Johann[edit | edit source]

  • Gustav: The rats which I aim to fatten and attach to one another in order to further calibrate the teleportation device are proving difficult to catch.
  • Gustav: I suppose I could employee the device to match their speed, but... no I better not.

Talking to Johann[edit | edit source]

  • Johann: Hello friend, could you be of aid in the matter of retrieving a weapon shipment I ordered?
  • Player: Sure! I assume you havent't figured out how to leave the sewers yet?
  • Johann: Indeed, as shameful as it is. But no matter, there is a collection of exquisite martial instruments waiting for us with the arms-dealing dwarf Hofuthand. You can find him at the Grand Exchange in Varrock.
  • Player: I'll be on my way then, climbing up the ladder to the surface with my human hands.
  • Johann: You will surely stop making such offhanded comments when we are better armed.

Talking to Johann again[edit | edit source]

  • Johann: Have you received the weapon shipment yet?
  • Player: I must have gotten distracted on the way.
  • Johann: Let me refresh your distracted mind.
  • Johann: Our shipment is waiting with the dwarf Hofuthand at the varrock Grand Exchange.

Talking to Hofuthand[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello!
  • Hofuthand (armour and weapons): What? Oh, hello. I was deep in thought. Did you say something?
  • Choose an option:
    • [Tortle Combat.]
      • Player: I am here to pick up the weapon shipment for Johann.
      • Hofuthand (armour and weapons): Wait a moment. I thought that one was already picked up! Someone was here for that a few hours ago. Short one, no taller than me. Was sporting quite the fur and had a tail to boot. As soon as he took the weapons, it was like he disappeared in an instant. Is he not with you?
      • Player: Not that I'm aware.
      • Hofuthand (armour and weapons): Oh boy. Terribly sorry 'bout that. Well I could offer you a similarly prestigious set of weapons in place of the one that was ordered.
      • Hofuthand presents you with a pile of objects that could be used as weapons if the user was desperate.
      • Player receives a Pile of deadly weapons.
      • Hofuthand (armour and weapons): What do you think?
      • Player: Don't you have anything more...martial?
      • Hofuthand (armour and weapons): Sorry friend, next shipment will be a while. Either way, should be grateful! I just gave you some quality items for free.
      • Player: Thank you...
      • Hofuthand (armour and weapons): Great doin' business with you!
      • (Dialogue ends)
    • You seem a bit flustered.
      • (Non-miniquest dialogue)
    • Do you know much about the prices for armour and weapons?
      • (Non-miniquest dialogue)
    • I didn't say anything at all.
      • (Non-miniquest dialogue)

Checking weapons in pile of deadly weapons before talking to Johann[edit | edit source]

  • A random assortment of junk, critters, rust and things that could be considered weapons if you squint.

Returning to Johann with the pile of deadly weapons[edit | edit source]

  • Johann: Have you received the weapon shipment yet?
  • Player: I have...a...weapon shipment.
  • Johann: You are unsurpassed when it comes to doing slightly irritating work in the world outside these sewers.! To show my gratitude, I will present you with a fun fact. Did you know that tortles cannot read human facial expressions? Fascinating, is it not?
  • Player: Well, that's a relief. Anyway, what should I do with these weapons now?
  • Johann: Since you have been so friendly to us, stranded and desperate as we are, I believe it should be your honour to pick which weapon each of us should receive. Since the union of a warrior and their weapon is for life, only a perfect match will do. Thus, please make sure you choose correctly!
  • Player: That seems like less of an honour and more of an extra chore.
  • Johann: I see that you are delighted!

Giving weapons to tortles[edit | edit source]

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This section or article is incomplete and could do with improvement.
Reason: There are combos of dialogue where you take and give a weapon at the same time
You can discuss this issue on the talk page or edit this page to improve it.

Checking weapons in pile of deadly weapons[edit | edit source]

No weapons

  • Wolfgang: no weapon
    Gustav: no weapon
    Johann: no weapon
    Alfred: no weapon

Some weapons

  • Wolfgang: [weapon name]
    Gustav: [weapon name]
    Johann: [weapon name]
    Alfred: [weapon name]

Talking to Gustav[edit | edit source]

  • Select an option
    • Give Gustav a weapon
      • Choose a weapon to give to the tortle.
        • Mismatched set of cutlery
          • You give Gustav the following weapon: Mismatched set of cutlery.
          • Gustav: I am afraid that these might not be sufficiently structurally sound to withstand prolonged combat.
        • Melting snowball
          • You give Gustav the following weapon: Melting snowball.
          • Gustav: This could indeed cause some damage, but how do I continue fighting once I have thrown it?
        • Half-suffocated jellyfish
          • You give Gustav the following weapon: Half-suffocated jellyfish.
          • Gustav: With this in my hands, I worry more for the safety of the creature than that of my enemies.
        • Old rake handle
          • You give Gustav the following weapon: Old rake handle.
          • Gustav: If this were to break during fighting, my defensive capabilities would be compromised.
        • Dwarven army axe
          • You give Gustav the following weapon: Dwarven army axe.
          • Gustav seems happy with this weapon! X/4 happy tortles.
          • Gustav: Now this axe looks both durable and effective. I am sure that I will be able to depend on it. Great work!
        • Broken lyre
          • You give Gustav the following weapon: Broken lyre.
          • Gustav: The planets would really need to align for this to win me any combat.
        • Frying pan
          • You give Gustav the following weapon: Frying pan.
          • Gustav: This could be used as a shield or a blunt weapon, depending on the situation. If only it had a cutting edge as well...
        • Rabid chinchompa
          • You give Gustav the following weapon: Rabid chinchompa.
          • Gustav: If this is another animal you have brought to calibrate our teleportation device, I must say it looks even less appropriate than the rabbit.
    • Take his weapon back
      • If Gustav has a weapon he likes
        • Gustav liked the weapon you just took from him! X/4 tortles happy
        • You take this weapon from Gustav: [weapon name].
      • If Gustav has no weapon
        • Gustav doesn't have a weapon at the moment.
      • (Dialogue ends)
    • Ask about the other tortles' preferences
      • Player: I need help distributing weapons. Can you tell me any secrets about the others?
      • Gustav: Come closer, I wouldn't like Wolfgang to hear me devulge[sic] this.
      • Player: ...
      • Gustav: Wolfgang once tried to climb a tree, but he incurred a massive splinter on his underside while sliding back down the bark. He has been reluctant to touch anything wooden ever since. The experience conjured an obsession with smooth and shiny metals within him.

Talking to "Weird" Alfred[edit | edit source]

  • Select an option
    • Give "Weird" Alfred a weapon
      • Choose a weapon to give to the tortle.
        • Mismatched set of cutlery
          • You give "Weird" Alfred the following weapon: Mismatched set of cutlery.
          • Alfred has been chewing on one slice of pizza ever since you arrived, which has since turned to mush. He really doesn't seem to need cutlery.
        • Melting snowball
          • You give "Weird" Alfred the following weapon: Melting snowball.
          • Alfred stares into the void as the snowball continues to melt.
        • Half-suffocated jellyfish
          • You give "Weird" Alfred the following weapon: Half-suffocated jellyfish.
          • Alfred doesn't even blink as the jellyfish rolls off his shell and leaves behind a thick layer of slime.
        • Old rake handle
          • You give "Weird" Alfred the following weapon: Old rake handle.
          • After a painful minute of uncertainty, the rake handle falls to the ground. Alfred seems unimpressed.
        • Dwarven army axe
          • You give "Weird" Alfred the following weapon: Dwarven army axe.
          • Alfred isn't paying attention. He drops the axe to the ground, where almost separates a rat from its tail.
        • Broken lyre
          • You give "Weird" Alfred the following weapon: Broken lyre.
          • Alfred accidentally snaps the last remaining string on the lyre as he steps on it.
        • Frying pan
          • You give "Weird" Alfred the following weapon: Frying pan.
          • You place the pan over Alfred's head to stop a leaky pipe from continuing to drop water on it. He stays as still as a rock.
        • Rabid chinchompa
          • You give "Weird" Alfred the following weapon: Rabid chinchompa.
          • "Weird" Alfred seems happy with this weapon! X/4 happy tortles.
          • The chinchompa hops up to Alfred's shoulder. He seems content with this new friend.
    • Take his weapon back
      • If "Weird" Alfred has a weapon he likes
        • "Weird" Alfred liked the weapon you just took from him! X/4 tortles happy
        • You take this weapon from "Weird" Alfred: [weapon name].
      • If "Weird" Alfred has no weapon
        • "Weird" Alfred doesn't have a weapon at the moment.
      • (Dialogue ends)
    • Ask about the other tortles' preferences
      • As you are about to ask Alfred for help, you suddenly hear an excited squeaking emanating from within the weapon

Talking to Wolfgang[edit | edit source]

  • Select an option
    • Give Wolfgang a weapon
      • Choose a weapon to give to the tortle.
        • Mismatched set of cutlery
          • You give Wolfgang the following weapon: Mismatched set of cutlery.
          • Wolfgang seems happy with this weapon! X/4 happy tortles.
          • Wolfgang: These are marvelous! Their smoothness and shine is perfect for me. Thank you kindly!
        • Melting snowball
          • You give Wolfgang the following weapon: Melting snowball.
          • Wolfgang: Now this is truly the least dangerous object you have brought to me. I do enjoy its touch though, somewhat.
        • Half-suffocated jellyfish
          • You give Wolfgang the following weapon: Half-suffocated jellyfish.
          • Wolfgang: This is very smooth. So smooth in fact that I conclude that no living creature could be hurt by it.
        • Old rake handle
          • You give Wolfgang the following weapon: Old rake handle.
          • Wolfgang: Please don't leave this thing around me for too long. Someone could get hurt.
        • Dwarven army axe
          • You give Wolfgang the following weapon: Dwarven army axe.
          • Wolfgang: This may be too rough of an implement for my fine sensibilities I am afraid.
        • Broken lyre
          • You give Wolfgang the following weapon: Broken lyre.
          • Wolfgang: Ever since gaining consciousness, I have been oddly obsessed with music. I would rather conduct others than play myself, though.
        • Frying pan
          • You give Wolfgang the following weapon: Frying pan.
          • Wolfgang: You have thought of everything! We will not have to rely on ordering pizza going forward. Now where is that weapon you wanted to show me?
        • Rabid chinchompa
          • You give Wolfgang the following weapon: Rabid chinchompa.
          • Wolfgang: How on earth would I fight with this? It is a creature with an independed[sic] mind. I surely could not force it to do my bidding.
    • Take his weapon back
      • If Wolfgang has a weapon he likes
        • Wolfgang liked the weapon you just took from him! X/4 tortles happy
        • You take this weapon from Wolfgang: [weapon name].
      • If Wolfgang has no weapon
        • Wolfgang doesn't have a weapon at the moment.
      • (Dialogue ends)
    • Ask about the other tortles' preferences
      • Player: Could you tell me anything about your friends that might help me find a weapon that fits them?
      • Wolfgang: Naturally! Out of all of us, Johann was stricken with the shortest legs, so his reach is very poor. He also despises cold weather and ice cream.

Talking to Johann[edit | edit source]

  • Select an option
    • Give Johann a weapon
      • Choose a weapon to give to the tortle.
        • Mismatched set of cutlery
          • You give the following weapon: Mismatched set of cutlery.
          • Johann: I am sorry, friend. These knives and forks are not ideal as they will not allow me to fight enemies from a safe distance.
        • Melting snowball
          • You give Johann the following weapon: Melting snowball.
          • Johann: A thrown weapon! I had not considered this. On second thought, it is rather uncomfortable to hold.
        • Half-suffocated jellyfish
          • You give Johann the following weapon: Half-suffocated jellyfish.
          • Johann: Could I teach this animal to grab my foes and draw them in close with its appendages to get them over here? Perhaps, but ultimately unlikely.
        • Old rake handle
          • You give Johann the following weapon: Old rake handle.
          • Johann seems happy with this weapon! X/4 happy tortles.
          • Johann: The length of this instrument is excellent for engaging foes from far away. I shall take it!
        • Dwarven army axe
          • You give Johann the following weapon: Dwarven army axe.
          • Johann: An axe such as this is more of a tool than a martial weapon, do you not think?
        • Broken lyre
          • You give Johann the following weapon: Broken lyre.
          • Johann: Ah the lyre, instrument of choice of the modern bardic tortle. I myself favour the pipe organ. Neither are effective weapons.
        • Frying pan
          • You give Johann the following weapon: Frying pan.
          • Johann: Since starting a fire down here seems nigh impossible, this cooking implement seems to be but marginally useful.
        • Rabid chinchompa
          • You give Johann the following weapon: Rabid chinchompa.
          • Johann: If I threw this at my enemies, perhaps it would be effective? No, that seems outlandish.
    • Take his weapon back
      • If Johann has a weapon he likes
        • Johann liked the weapon you just took from him! X/4 tortles happy
        • You take this weapon from Johann: [weapon name].
      • If Johann has no weapon
        • Johann doesn't have a weapon at the moment.
      • (Dialogue ends)
    • Ask about the other tortles' preferences
      • Player: Do you have any information that could help me choose a good weapon for the other tortles?
      • Johann: Hello friend. Of course I shall help you! Gustav can summon the most strength between us four. He thus needs a weapon with a solid handle. I am certain that he could cleave through anything, given the right tool.

After all tortles are happy with their weapons[edit | edit source]

  • Player: This should do it, everyone seems happy with their weapon! I should talk to Wolfgang to check if they need anything else.

Talking to Gustav[edit | edit source]

  • Gustav: i have to extend my thanks, friend. I do not know how we would have braved this situation without you.

Talking to Johann[edit | edit source]

  • Johann: My utmost thanks! We will take the knowledge and objects you have granted us and build on them to become the ultimate fighters. One day, we might even leave this place.

Talking to "Weird" Alfred[edit | edit source]

  • "Weird" Alfred: Thank... you.

Talking to Wolfgang when everyone is happy with their weapons[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Is everyone happy with their weapons?
  • Wolfgang: Delighted, thank you. I think our dojo is ready for its opening night. Would you mind giving us some privacy whilst we try out everything?
  • Player: Of course not!
  • Screen fades out
  • You close your eyes and wait for the tortles to start training. You quickly realise that, owing to how slowly the tortles move, you have made a poor choice by staying here.
  • Long pause
  • You hear slight brushing of cloth and jangling of metal that persists for some time.
  • Long pause
  • Minutes pass, or perhaps hours. Time moves in an uncertain direction. You certainly cannot hear any training.
  • Player: What's going on? Can I open my eyes?
  • Wolfgang: We have finished equipping ourselves. I have something for you.
  • Screen fades back in, and the turtles have their weapons equipped
  • Wolfgang: It is important that our indentities[sic] remain a secret from any enemies we make with our newfound abilities. Gustav kindly created these hoods for each member of the team. The loss of Edvard means we do have one spare. So I would like to gift you this Player, a hood designed for creatures of subtlety and grace such as ourselves, take it as a gesture of thanks for your aid. Do not fret, one size fits all! Tortle and human alike!
  • Miniquest complete!
  • You've unlocked the Ninja Tortle Hood cosmetic override.
  • You can activate this via the 'Wardrobe' tab in the 'Customisations/ interface.
  • Congratulations! You have completed: 'Tortle Combat (miniquest)' - Complete this Novice miniquest.

Post-miniquest dialogue[edit | edit source]

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Talking to Wolfgang after the miniquest[edit | edit source]

  • Wolfgang Greetings Player, what brings you to our fine dojo?
  • Select an option
    • How goes the training?
      • Wolfgang Training is going marvelously thank you Player! I am of course currently in rest between sessions, a crucial part of the training process I assure you.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • How is the sewer life treating you?
      • Wolfgang This environment suffices for now, but I long for the day we return to the surface world. Once we overcome that troublesome ladder of course.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • How are you feeling about Edvard?
      • Wolfgang I hope young Edvard is happy wherever he has ended up, and has met a brave adventurer like yourself to help him in his travels.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • Goodbye!
      • Player Goodbye!
      • Wolfgang Farewell!
      • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Johann after the miniquest[edit | edit source]

  • Johann Ah Player, delightful to see you again!
  • Select an option
    • How goes the training?
      • Johann My physcial prowess has improved tenfold, thank you Player. Although today I am partaking in what I believe is referred to as a 'cheat day'.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • How is the sewer life treating you?
      • Johann Well we can have delicious pizza delivered here, which was not possible in our old dwelling, so for me life here is splendid!
      • (Shows previous options)
    • How are you feeling about Edvard?
      • Johann I am sad he is not here to partake in our training sessions. But who knows, maybe he has taken to a place even more impressive than our dojo! I mean no offence of course.
      • Player None taken, this is a unique place for a dojo.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • Goodbye!
      • Player Goodbye!
      • Johann Farewell!
      • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Gustav after the miniquest[edit | edit source]

  • Gustav Well met Player, I hope you are having a splendid day.
  • Select an option
    • How goes the training?
      • Gustav It may appear to you as if I am avoiding the equipment you kindly built us, but I prefer to train in solitude without an audience. Besides I would not appreciate you stealing my techniques!
      • Player I would never dream of it! But I shall give you your privacy.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • How is the sewer life treating you?
      • Gustav I admit Player, I have experienced nicer smelling locales in my time. Yet this is our home for now and we have made it so, with your assistance of course.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • How are you feeling about Edvard?
      • Gustav Oh poor Edvard, a terrible way to depart this world.
      • Player But Edvard might not be dead.
      • Gustav Quite right Player, keep up that positive attitude!
      • Player I always do.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • Goodbye!
      • Gustav Goodbye!
      • Johann Farewell!
      • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to "Weird" Alfred after the miniquest[edit | edit source]

  • "Weird" Alfred Thank... you
  • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Edvard after the miniquest in the Abyss[edit | edit source]

  • Player Edvard! You're alive!
  • Edvard You know me?
  • Player You don't know me?
  • Edvard I do not think that I have ever made your acquaintance. I am sorry but I am very busy, we can chat another time.
  • Player Oh ok.
  • (Dialogue ends)