Transcript of Throne of Miscellania

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Reason: dialogue with the Prince/Princess, missing dialogue from one of the conversations with Prince Brand
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This transcript involves dialogue with Advisor Ghrim, Derrik, King Vargas, Princess Astrid, Prince Brand, Queen Sigrid, and the player.

In Search of a Hero[edit | edit source]

Attempting to enter the throne room[edit | edit source]

  • Guard: Halt! Who goes there?
  • Player: My name is [Fremennik name], will you not let me through?
  • Guard: I'm afraid the King won't give an audience to anyone except a worthy hero.
  • Player: I am a member of the Heroes' Guild; does that not show my worth?
  • Guard: Then you may pass.

Talking to King Vargas[edit | edit source]

  • King Vargas: Who are you? Who seeks audience with the King of this fair land of Miscellania?
  • Player: I am known in these lands as [Fremennik name], Your Majesty. I come in search of a quest.
  • King Vargas: Ah, it pleases me to see such enthusiasm! I was once an adventurer such as yourself; even while fulfilling my duties as King of Miscellania, I would roam the lands in search of adventure, and strike down mighty foes with a single blow! Unfortunately, I was a little too daring, and attempted to brave the icelands, where I finally met my match. I survived, barely, but I was cursed for the rest of my life to stay in this form. Which leaves me incapable of performing my duties as ruler. This is why I am looking for an exceptional soul to be regent of this fair kingdom of Miscellania.
  • (Quest Overview interface opens.)
    • Accept quest
      • Player: If I may be so bold, Your Majesty, I think Miscellania would rest in capable hands with me.
      • King Vargas: Hahaha! You are bold, [Fremennik name], but then I have yet to see a good ruler who was not. You will first have to demonstrate your worth. You are a good warrior, that I do not doubt; however ruling also requires a good grasp of diplomacy. We have been at war with neighbouring Etceteria for hundreds of years; however, I think both of us have rather lost our appetite for hostilities. Now may be an opportune time to make amends. If you manage to negotiate peace with them, then you will truly have shown your skill as a diplomat.
      • Player: Then do not stray far, Your Majesty, for I shall soon return.
      • King Vargas: Wait! There is one more matter to discuss... a mere formality, of course. By Miscellanious tradition, one may not become ruler of the kingdom if one is not part of the royal family. You will have to convince either my daughter, Princess Astrid, or my son, Prince Brand, to marry you.
      • Player: And you say this is a mere formality, Your Majesty?
      • King Vargas: I am sure they won't be able to resist your heroic charms. You can ask Ghrim for advice; that's what he's here for, after all.
    • Not right now
      • Player: I'm afraid I must decline, Your Majesty. The call of adventure is too strong for me to accept a sedentary life.
      • King Vargas: I can assure you that I managed to heed that same call, and ruling this land was no hindrance to me. However, I understand your decision. Fare thee well!

Talking to King Vargas after accepting the quest[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Your Majesty.
  • King varg: How are you getting on, [Fremennik name]? Have you talked to Queen Sigrid of Etceteria?
  • Player: Not yet, Your Majesty.

Quest for Regency[edit | edit source]

Helpful Advice[edit | edit source]

  • Advisor Ghrim: Greetings, [Sir/Madam].
  • Select an option
    • What am I meant to be doing again?
      • Player: What am I meant to be doing again?
      • (At the start of quest:)
        • Advisor Ghrim: Negotiating peace with Etceteria, [Sir/Madam].
      • (After signing peace treaty:)
        • Advisor Ghrim: Wooing either the fair Prince Brand or the equally fair Princess Astrid, [Sir/Madam].
      • (After signing the peace treaty, and having selected Princess Astrid:)
        • Advisor Ghrim: Wooing the fair Princess Astrid, [Sir/Madam].
      • (After signing the peace treaty, and having selected Prince Brand:)
        • Advisor Ghrim: Wooing the fair Prince Brand, [Sir/Madam].
      • (After having wooed either of the royalty:)
        • Advisor Ghrim: Gaining the support of the population, [Sir/Madam]. Currently, [your percent]% of the population supports you.
        • (If it is below 75%:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You will need 75 % of the population in your support in order to become Regent.
        • (If it is above 75%:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: This is enough for you to become Regent; I should talk to King Vargas if I were you.
    • (Before King Vargas signs the peace treaty:)
      • How do I make peace with Etceteria?
        • Player: How do I make peace with Etceteria?
        • (At the start of the quest:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You should go talk to Queen Sigrid of Etceteria.
        • (After offering Queen Sigrid to negotiate a peace treaty:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You should talk to the King.
        • (After Diplomacy:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You should go talk to Queen Sigrid of Etceteria.
        • (After Awful Anthem:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You should find someone to compose a new anthem for Etceteria.
        • (After Brand the Bard:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You should get another copy of that anthem.
        • (After Ghrim's Helping Hand:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You should show the anthem to Queen Sigrid.
        • (After Royal Approval:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You should show the treaty to the King.
        • (After Yeti Trouble:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You should find a way to make the nib and body for a very large pen.
    • (Before selecting one to woo:)
      • How am I supposed to get the Prince or Princess to marry me?
        • Player: How am I supposed to get the Prince or Princess to marry me?
        • Advisor Ghrim: I think you may find that talking to them would be a good way to start.
    • (After selecting Prince Brand to woo:)
      • How am I supposed to get the Prince to marry me?
        • Player: How am I supposed to get the Prince to marry me?
        • (After talking to the prince for the first time:)
          • (Transcript missing. edit)
        • (After having three successful conversations with the prince:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You could hardly go wrong with a gift of flowers, and of course talking to him is important. He is also very receptive of praise for his musical performance.
        • (After having three successful conversations with the prince and giving him flowers:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You seem to have impressed him at least somewhat. He has quite the sweet tooth, and is very fond of cake, if you take my meaning...
        • (After having six to eight successful conversations with the prince:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: He has grown very fond of you; you would do well to show you are fond of him too.
          • (Continues below)
        • (After having nine successful conversations with the prince:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: When the time comes to actually ask for his hand in marriage, do not forget the engagement ring.
    • (After selecting Princess Astrid to woo:)
      • How am I supposed to get the Princess to marry me?
        • Player: How am I supposed to get the Princess to marry me?
        • (After talking to Princess for the first time:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: I have watched the admirers come and go, trying to win her heart, and I can tell you this is no easy task. You can hardly go wrong with a gift of flowers, and of course talking to her is important. I also hear she favours suitors who knows how to dance.
        • (After Agree with Princess for the second set of 3 statements:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You seemed to have impressed her at least somewhat. She is quite the archer, collects bows, if you take my meaning...
        • (After giving Princess the bow:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: You seemed to have impressed her at least somewhat.
        • (After Princess Shortlisted:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: She has grown very fond of you; you would do well to show you are fond of her too. When times come to actually ask for her hand in marriage, do not engagement ring.
        • (After Princess accepted kiss:)
          • Advisor Ghrim: She has grown very fond of you; you would do well to show you are fond of her too. When times come to actually ask for her hand in marriage, do not engagement ring.
    • How do I gain the support of the population?
      • Advisor Ghrim: King Vargas would often go and help out his subjects in their daily tasks, when he was still able to do so, and they loved him dearly for it. Currently [your percent]% of the population supports you.
      • (If the support is below 75%:)
        • Advisor Ghrim: You will need 75 % of the population in your support in order to become Regent.
      • (If the support is above 75%:)
        • Advisor Ghrim: This is enough for you to become Regent; I should talk to King Vargas if I were you.
    • Is there anything else you can tell me?
      • Advisor Ghrim: What would you like to know, [Sir/Madam]?
      • Select an option
        • What can you tell me about the King?
          • Player: What can you tell me about the King?
          • Advisor Ghrim: King Vargas was once a brave and noble adventurer, well-loved by his subjects. Unfortunately, he was cursed while seeking a quest in the icelands to the north, and is now unable to reign.
        • What can you tell me about the Prince?
          • Player: What can you tell me about the Prince?
          • Advisor Ghrim: Prince Brand has always dreamed of becoming a famous bard; unfortunately, his musical and literary skills are somewhat lacking. He has no interest in ruling the kingdom, and seems to spend his time daydreaming or composing quite awful poems, and sagas of totally mundane events. He is rather vain, if you'll pardon my saying so; he will greatly appreciate any compliments on his poetry. He also has quite a sweet tooth.
        • What can you tell me about the Princess?
          • Player: What can you tell me about the Princess?
          • Advisor Ghrim: Princess Astrid thinks she'd be perfectly capable of ruling the kingdom, but her father doesn't trust her enough by herself. Especially since she devotes herself to the - as the King sees it - cowardly skill of archery rather than the noble skill of melee combat... She is fond of jewellery, and of course she collects bows. She is also quite the conversationalist. She has many admirers, but has yet to be impressed by any of them.
        • What can you tell me about Queen Sigrid?
          • Player: What can you tell me about Queen Sigrid?
          • Advisor Ghrim: Queen Sigrid is quite envious of King Vargas, since he has the larger kingdom. The King and she have never seen eye-to-eye, but I think if you approach her you may find her quite reasonable.
    • About the Task System...

Healing Old Wounds[edit | edit source]

Sovereignty[edit | edit source]

  • Queen Sigrid: Hello.
  • Player: Er...Hello, Your Majesty.
  • Queen Sigrid: Have you come for a particular reason? I am a busy Queen, you know. I had to attend the opening of a new orphanage this morning.
  • Player: Yes, I...
  • Queen Sigrid: And this afternoon I shall be receiving the Embassador[sic] of Karamja and accompanying him on his week-long tour of Etceteria.
  • Player: Er, I...
  • Queen Sigrid: Then this evening we shall be putting on a grand ball! All of the kingdom's nobility will be present!
  • Player: If I m...
  • Queen Sigrid: Oh, who am I kidding...nothing ever happens here. I always wanted to be a princess when I was a girl. If I'd been told it would be like this, I wouldn't have bothered.
  • Player: Your Majesty!
  • Queen Sigrid: Yes? Did you want something?
  • Player: I have been sent by King Vargas to negotiate a treaty of peace between your two great nations.
  • Queen Sigrid: Great nations? Don't make me laugh. Still, peace sounds like a nice idea. He will, of course, have to recognise Etceteria officially as a sovereign nation.
  • Player: This isn't already the case?
  • Queen Sigrid: I'm afraid not. Last time we met I called him a pompous old fool for thinking he was still worth anything as an adventurer. He promptly declared war, claiming the land of Etceteria belonged to Miscellania. When he realised neither of us had an army, he was ever so angry!
  • Player: What happened then?
  • Queen Sigrid: He set off for the icelands to prove me wrong and, well, I expect you saw what happened to him.
  • Player: I shall go ask him to officially recognise Etceteria.
Talking to Queen Sigrid again[edit | edit source]
  • Queen Sigrid: Hello. Have you talked to Vargas yet?
  • Player: Not yet, Your Majesty.

Diplomacy[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Your Majesty.
  • King Vargas: How are you getting on, [Fremennik name]? Have you talked to Queen Sigrid of Etceteria?
  • Player: I have, Your Majesty. She says she will agree to peace as long as Miscellania recognises Etceteria as a sovereign nation.
  • King Vargas: Hmph! You can tell her I'll officially recognise her country as soon as she changes the Etceterian national anthem.
  • Player: Why is that, Your Majesty?
  • King Vargas: It's insulting! The title alone, "You're Stupid, We're the Best", should be enough to give you an idea!
  • Player: I'm sure I can convince her there are better anthems.
Talking to the King Vargas again[edit | edit source]
  • Player: Your Majesty.
  • King Vargas: How are you getting on, [Fremennik name]? Have you convinced Sigrid yet?
  • Player: Not yet, Your Majesty.

Awful Anthem[edit | edit source]

  • Queen Sigrid: Hello. Have you talked to Vargas yet?
  • Player: I have, Your Majesty. He says he will recognise the country when you change your anthem.
  • Queen Sigrid: What? But it's a great anthem, I composed it myself! Listen! ''You're stupid, we're the best, Etceteria beats the rest! and Queen Sigrid is very pretty, King Vargas is a fool, hey, nonny-nonny!''
  • Player: I'm afraid he insisted, Your Majesty.
  • Queen Sigrid: Well, it can't be helped I suppose... You'll have to find a bard to write a new one though. And there isn't a bard to be had for love nor money in Etceteria.
  • Player: I'll see what I can do, Your Majesty.
Talking to Queen Sigrid again[edit | edit source]
  • Queen Sigrid: Hello. Have you found a new anthem yet?
  • Player: Not yet, Your Majesty.

Brand the Bard[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I need someone to compose a new anthem for Etceteria.
  • Prince Brand: You've come to the right bard! I'll write one for you immediately!
  • Player: You can take your time, really...
  • Prince Brand: No problem, I'm already done! Here, listen!
  • Prince Brand: 'Etceteria, Etceteria,
    Oh what a great country it is,
    Etceteria, Etceteria,
    So I wrote a song about it.'
  • Prince Brand: 'It's somewhere in the sea, And it looks very nice, If it weren't for your ancestors, It wouldn't be there at all,'
  • Prince Brand: 'And when things aren't going too well, We sing this lovely song, And then we'll all feel so much better, It won't take very long.'
  • Prince Brand: Here's a copy, you can keep it!
  • Player receives awful anthem.
  • Player: ...that's lovely, thanks.
  • Prince Brand: Don't mention it, [Sir/Madam].
Dropping the awful anthem[edit | edit source]
  • The anthem is caught by a gust of wind and flies out of sight.
If the player has lost the awful anthem[edit | edit source]
  • Player: I lost my copy of the *ahem* theme you composed...
  • Prince Brand: Fear not! I made many, many more!
  • (Continues above)

Royal Disapproval[edit | edit source]

  • Queen Sigrid: Hello. Have you found a new anthem yet?
  • Player: Yes, Your Majesty, but I'm afraid it isn't very good.
  • Queen Sigrid: Let's see now...
  • Queen Sigrid: 'Etceteria, Etceteria,
    Oh what a great country it is,
    Etceteria, Etceteria,
    So I wrote a song about it.'
  • Queen Sigrid: 'It's somewhere in the sea,
    And it looks very nice,
    If it weren't for your ancestors,
    It wouldn't be there at all,'
  • Queen Sigrid: 'And when things aren't going too well,
    We sing this lovely song,
    And then we'll all feel so much better,
    It won't take very long.'
  • Queen Sigrid: Oh dear, no, this simply won't do. Find a better one.

Ghrim's Helping Hand[edit | edit source]

  • Advisor Ghrim: Greetings, [Sir/Madam].
  • Player: I got Prince Brand to compose a new Etceterian anthem for me, but it's awful!
  • Advisor Ghrim: Oh dear. Well, that is only to be expected. May I see it, please?
  • Player: Here you go.
  • Advisor Ghrim: Hmm, yes...allow me to make a few adjustments. There you go, [Sir/Madam]. Are there any other matters in which I may be of assistance?
  • (Shows initial options)
  • Player has awful anthem removed from them. Player receives good anthem.
If the player drops the good anthem[edit | edit source]
  • The anthem is caught by a gust of wind and flies out of sight.
If the player has lost the good anthem[edit | edit source]
  • Advisor Ghrim: Greetings, [Sir/Madam].
  • Player: I lost the corrected anthem you gave me.
  • Advisor Ghrim: Do you have another copy of the prince's anthem for me to correct?
  • (If the player doesn't have the awful anthem:)
    • Player: I'm afraid I don't have one.
    • Advisor Ghrim: If you bring me another, I can correct it. Are there any other matters in which I may be of assistance?
    • (Shows initial options)
  • (If the player has the awful anthem:)

Royal Approval[edit | edit source]

  • Queen Sigrid: Hello. Have you found a new anthem yet?
  • Player: Yes, Your Majesty.
  • Queen Sigrid: Let's see now...
  • Queen Sigrid: 'Etceteria, Etceteria,
    Of our country we are proud!
    Etceteria, Etceteria,
    Let all sing its name out loud!'
  • Queen Sigrid: 'Rising high above the water,
    The jewel of the North!
    Our mothers and our fathers,
    To build this land came forth!'
  • Queen Sigrid: 'And in the times of darkness,
    Sing praises of our land!
    And in our hearts we can be sure,
    Our victory is at hand!'
  • Queen Sigrid: Why, this is quite good! I'm surprised! Here is a treaty declaring what we've mutually agreed to. I've already signed, so all it needs is King Vargas' signature and it'll be official.
  • Player has good anthem removed from them. Player receives treaty.
Talking to Queen Sigrid again[edit | edit source]
  • Queen Sigrid: Hello. Has Vargas signed the treaty yet?
  • (If the player has the treaty:)
    • Player: Not yet, Your Majesty.
  • (If the player has lost the treaty:)
    • Player: I'm afraid I lost it, Your Majesty.
    • Queen Sigrid: How silly of you. I'll make you another.
    • Player receives treaty.

Yeti Problems[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Your Majesty.
  • King Vargas: How are you getting on, [Fremennik name]? Have you convinced Sigrid yet?
  • Player: I have here a treaty awaiting your signature.
  • King Vargas: I doubt I will be able to hold an ordinary pen well enough to sign the treaty. You will have to find a pen large enough for me to hold.
  • Player has treaty removed from them.
Talking to King Vargas again[edit | edit source]
  • Player: Your Majesty.
  • King Vargas: How are you getting on, [Fremennik name]? Have you found me a pen yet?
  • Player: Not yet, Your Majesty.

A Pen for a King[edit | edit source]

  • Derrik: Good day, [Sir/Madam]. Can I help you with anything?
  • Select an option
    • Can I use your anvil?
      • (See the transcript for Derrik)
    • I have a slightly strange request...
      • Player: I have a slightly strange request... The King needs to sign a treaty, but is unable to because he lacks a pen large enough for him to hold. Could you make me a nib of the right size?
      • Derrik: Hm...I may be able to manage that. What sort of size?
      • Player: About the size of a helm should do it.
      • Derrik: All right, but I'll need an iron bar to make it from.
      • (If the player does not have an iron bar:)
        • Player: I don't have one with me.
        • Derrik: Well, come back when you have one.
      • (If the player has an iron bar:)
        • Player: I have one here.
        • Derrik: Good. Just a minute... Here you go! One giant pen nib!
        • Player has iron bar removed from them. Player receives giant nib.
    • Nothing, thanks.
      • (See the transcript for Derrik)
Using the giant nib on logs[edit | edit source]
  • You place the nib on the end of the log to make a crude pen.
  • Player has giant nib and logs removed from them. Player receives giant pen.

Peace Treaty[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Your Majesty.
  • King Vargas: How are you getting on, [Fremennik name]? Have you found me a pen yet?
  • Player: Here it is, Your Majesty.
  • Player has giant pen removed from them.
  • King Vargas: Excellent! And now, with a flourish, I sign the end of the rivalry between our two proud kingdoms! Now, has either of my children agreed to marry you?
  • Player: Not yet, Your Majesty.
  • King Vargas: Well, keep at it then!
  • (If the player has less than 75% support:)
    • King Vargas: Ghrim tells me that the population is not yet very supportive of the idea of having you as ruler. You should try to gain their support.
  • (If the player has 75% support or more:)
    • King Vargas: Ghrim tells me that the population would be glad to have you as a ruler.
Talking to King Vargas again[edit | edit source]
  • Player: Your Majesty.
  • (If the player has not yet selected one to woo:)
    • King Vargas: How are you getting on, [Fremennik name]? Have either of my children agreed to marry you?
    • (Continues above)
  • (If the player has selected one to woo:)
    • King Vargas: How are you getting on, [Fremennik name]? Has my [daughter/son] agreed to marry you?
    • (Continues above)

Courtship[edit | edit source]

Princess Astrid[edit | edit source]

  • Princess Astrid: Good day, [Sir/Madam].
  • Player: Good day, Your Royal Highness.
  • Do you wish to try and earn the hand of Princess Astrid in marriage?

    WARNING: Once made, this decision cannot be changed.
  • Choose to marry Princess Astrid?
    • Yes
      • Player: As I'm sure you are aware, your father the King is seeking someone to rule the Kingdom in his stead. I have put myself forward, but in order for me to become ruler...
      • Princess Astrid: ... you have to marry somebody in the royal family, namely me?
      • Player: Yes, Your Royal Highness.
      • Princess Astrid: You realise, I hope, that I have many suitors.
      • Player: I take it you are not especially fond of any of them?
      • Princess Astrid: That is true. However, I am willing to give you a chance; if you impress me enough, I will consider accepting to marry you.
    • No
      • (Dialogue ends)

Possible Conversations

Upon giving Astrid a ring too early

  • Princess Astrid: I couldn't possibly accept this.

Upon giving Astrid flowers

  • Princess Astrid: Are these for me? Really?
    • Player: Of course, Your Royal Highness.
      • Princess Astrid: Thank you! They're lovely!
      • You give Princess Astrid the flowers.
    • Player: No.
      • Player: No, I was just showing you.
      • Princess Astrid: Oh, all right.

Upon giving Astrid flowers again

  • Princess Astrid: You've already given me some, but thank you.
Upon dancing
  • Princess Astrid: Impressive. I like a man who knows how to dance.
Upon dancing again
  • Princess Astrid: Your dancing never ceases to amaze me, Sir.


Advisor Ghrim

  • Player: What do you think of Advisor Ghrim?
  • Princess Astrid: He's a bit scary sometimes, but he's always so nice to me! When I was young, I called him Uncle Ghrim.
    • Player: I think he's far too grumpy.
      • Princess Astrid: I'm sure he'd lighten up if you were nicer.
    • Player: No wonder you turned out like this...
      • Princess Astrid: I'm insulted, Sir!
    • Player: He's been very helpful.
      • Princess Astrid: Yes, my father made a wise decision when he chose him to be his advisor.
    • Player: Sneaky sneaky stick da chompy.[Or other random remark]
      • Princess Astrid: ...What?


Archery

  • Player: So, you practice archery? I see you have a bow mounted on your wall.
  • Princess Astrid: Yes; my father thinks it is a cowardly art, but I find there is just as much courage, and more skill, involved in going into combat with just a bow and quiver. What do you think?
    • Player: Archery is a noble art!
      • Princess Astrid: I'm so glad you agree!
    • Player: You should listen to your father.
      • Princess Astrid: I'm sorry you feel that way.
    • Player: Archers are all cowards!
      • Princess Astrid: I am insulted, Sir!
    • Player: Selling ring of poverty 30 mil![Or other random remark]
      • Princess Astrid: ...What?


Suitors

  • Player: So, tell me about all these other suitors you have.
  • Princess Astrid: They never cease to bother me. They swarm around me like flies, all hoping to win my heart. Perhaps I should use them for target practice!
    • Player: I don't know why they bother...
      • Princess Astrid: I don't know why YOU bother.
    • Player: Hahahaha! I can hold them still for you if you like.
      • Princess Astrid: How do you know I wouldn't hit you as well?
      • Player: I have confidence in your skills, Your Royal Highness.
    • Player: You monster!
      • Player: I was only joking.
    • Player: Selling ring of poverty 30 mil![Or other random remark]
      • Princess Astrid: ...What?


A More Interesting Man

  • Princess Astrid: You are perhaps a more interesting man than I first took you for, Sir... Oh, but I realise you have not yet told me your name!
  • Player: My name is [Fremennik Name], Your Highness.
  • Princess Astrid: Then may I call you [Fremennik Name], Sir?
  • Player: If I may call you Astrid, Your Royal Highness.
  • Princess Astrid: You may call me 'Princess'.
  • Player: Very well, Princess.

Miscellaneous History

  • Player: So what's the history of these islands?
  • Princess Astrid: Well, nothing very exciting ever happened until my father declared war on Etceteria...
  • Player: Why did he do that?
  • Princess Astrid: Queen Sigrid of Etceteria insulted him.
    • Player: Hahahaha!
      • Princess Astrid: It's not that funny.
      • Player: Well excuse me, Princess!
    • Player: He probably deserved it.
      • Princess Astrid: I'm insulted [Fremennik Name]!
    • Player: What happened next?
      • Princess Astrid: He realised that neither of us have an army.
    • Player: Don't threaten me with a dead fish![Or other random remark]
      • Princess Astrid: ...What?


Future Plans

  • Player: What would you do if you ruled this Kingdom?
  • Princess Astrid: Very little. It's not as if there's much to it... I might try to set up trade with other islands.
    • Player: That sounds like a good idea.
      • Princess Astrid: Thank you.
    • Player: What a silly idea! As if anyone would be interested!
      • Princess Astrid: Watch it or you won't get the chance to do better.
    • Player: That's not very enterprising.
      • Princess Astrid: Fine. You try to do better!
    • Player: What level do you need to cook cats?[Or other random remark]
      • Princess Astrid: ...What?

Childhood Hobby

  • Player: So why are you so interested in archery?
  • Princess Astrid: I'm not sure. Even when I was little, archery always fascinated me.
    • Player: I'm quite fond of it myself.
      • Princess Astrid: It's good to know someone who shares my interests.
    • Player: You should stick to knitting.
      • Princess Astrid: I'll knit you a lovely jumper, shall I? It'll keep you warm when I have you exiled to the icelands.
    • Player: You should try swordfighting instead.
      • Princess Astrid: That's not really the kind of thing I'm interested in.
    • Player: Care to sign my petition for pet frogs?[Or other random remark]
      • Princess Astrid: ...What?

Talking to her again before giving her a bow

  • Princess Astrid: Good day, [Fremennik Name].
  • Player: Good day, Princess.


Upon giving Astrid a bow

  • Princess Astrid: Is this for me? Really?
    • Yes
      • Player: Of course, Princess.
      • Princess Astrid: Thank you! It's lovely!
      • You give Princess Astrid the bow.
    • No.
      • Player: No, I was just showing you.
      • Princess Astrid: Oh, all right.

Shortlisted

  • Princess Astrid: I must admit I am growing quite fond of you, [Fremennik Name].
  • Player: Could it be that I have succeeded where so many before me have failed, and finally melted the heart of the fair Princess?
  • Princess Astrid: Not yet, my dear; let us just say you have made it onto the shortlist.

Little Country

  • Princess Astrid: So, my dear, what do you think of Miscellania?
    • Player: Well, I've seen better...
      • Princess Astrid: I'm quite fond of it my self...
    • Player: It's a lovely little country.
      • Princess Astrid: I'm glad you like it.
    • Player: It's boring.
      • Princess Astrid: Then perhaps you shouldn't be thinking of becoming its ruler.
    • Player: Look over there! A King Black Dragon![Or other random remark]
      • Princess Astrid: ...What?


Hunting Trip

  • Player: Do you go out into battle often?
  • Princess Astrid: Not often, no. I sometimes go hunting...
    • Player: And you call yourself an archer?
      • Princess Astrid: I take what chance for practice I can get.
    • Player: I suppose you don't have much opportunity to.
      • Princess Astrid: Exactly! Perhaps you could take me with you sometime, dear.
    • Player: Hunting the mighty rabbits outside the castle? Slaying the foul fowl that terrorises the town?
      • Princess Astrid: That's not funny.
    • Player: Nah, that Kalphite was weedier than your garden.[Or other random remark]
      • Princess Astrid: ...What?


Brother and Sister

  • Player: What do you think of your brother?
  • Princess Astrid: We don't always get along, but I'm sure he's a nice guy at heart.
    • Player: I really don't like him.
      • Princess Astrid: That's not a nice thing to say.
    • Player: And what a great bard he makes!
      • Princess Astrid: Haha! Oh yes, quite the bard, he is.
    • Player: I have heard better drains!
      • Princess Astrid: You don't sound like a nightingale your self!
    • Player: Sneaky sneaky stick da chompy.[Or other random remark]
      • Princess Astrid: ...What?

Talking to her again after talking with success

  • Princess Astrid: Hello, dear.
  • Player: Hello, darling.


Upon blowing Astrid a kiss

  • Princess Astrid: *giggle* My, aren't you the charmer?

Upon blowing Astrid a kiss again

  • Princess Astrid: That's very sweet, darling.


Upon giving Astrid a ring before kiss

  • [Missing]

Upon giving Astrid a ring after kiss

  • Princess Astrid: Is this for me? Really?
    • Yes
      • Player: Princess Astrid, will you marry me?
      • Princess Astrid: Oh, my dear. I thought you'd never ask! Of course I'll marry you! We'll have to put off the actual ceremony until we can find a priest, but you can tell my father I have agreed to marry you.
      • You give Princess Astrid the ring.
    • No.
      • Player: No, my darling, I was just showing you.
      • Princess Astrid: Oh, all right.

After Astrid accepts the ring but you have not told the King

  • Princess Astrid: How are you doing my dear? Have you convinced my father yet?
  • Player: Not yet, my darling.

Prince Brand[edit | edit source]

  • Prince Brand: Good day, [Sir/Madam].
  • Player: Good day, Your Royal Highness.
  • Do you wish to try and earn the hand of Prince Brand in marriage?

    WARNING: Once made, this decision cannot be changed.
  • Choose to marry Prince Brand?
    • Yes
      • Player: As I'm sure you are aware, your father the King is seeking someone to rule the Kingdom in his stead. I have put myself forward, but in order for me to become ruler...
      • Prince Brand: ...you have to marry somebody in the royal family, namely myself?
      • Player: Yes, Your Royal Highness.
      • Prince Brand: Ahahahaha! Come now, what interest would I have in a crass adventurer like yourself? What would you know of the poetry that flows through my veins like an avalanche through a peaceful mountain village?
      • Player: I think you may find I know good poetry when I see it, Your Royal Highness...
      • Prince Brand: This may be the case. I am willing to give you a chance; if you impress me enough, I will consider accepting to marry you.
    • No
      • (Dialogue ends)
Possible conversations[edit | edit source]

(The first three options are always the same, in a random order. The fourth option is random from the following list.)

Random dialogue options[edit | edit source]

(In each conversation, the last dialogue option will be one of the following:)

  • Beards? Dangerous, flammable and make you look mad!
    • Player: Beards? Dangerous, flammable and make you look mad!
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
  • Care to sign my petition for pet frogs?
    • Player: Care to sign my petition for pet frogs?
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
  • Cattle prod? Weapon of choice I reckon.
    • Player: Cattle prod? Weapon of choice I reckon.
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
  • Don't threaten me with a dead fish!
    • Player: Don't threaten me with a dead fish!
    • Prince brand: ...What?
  • He is clearly 1 cup short of a full service.
    • Player: He is clearly 1 cup short of a full service.
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
  • I'm a little teapot, short and stout...
    • Player: I'm a little teapot, short and stout...
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
  • I'm rubber you're glue.........!
    • Player: I'm rubber you're glue.........!
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
  • Lies!!! It's all lies!!!
    • Player: Lies!!! It's all lies!!!
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
  • Look over there! A King Black Dragon!
    • Player: Look over there! A King Black Dragon!
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
  • Lumbridge? No, I wouldn't be seen dead there.
    • Player: Lumbridge? No, I wouldn't be seen dead there.
    • Prince brand: ...What?
  • Nah, that Kalphite was weedier than your garden.
    • Player: Nah, that Kalphite was weedier than your garden.
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
  • Selling ring of poverty 30 mil!
    • Player: Selling ring of poverty 30 mil!
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
  • Sneaky sneaky stick da chompy.
    • Player: Sneaky sneaky stick da chompy.
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
  • What level do you need to cook cats?
    • Player: What level do you need to cook cats?
    • Prince Brand: ...What?
Emote reactions[edit | edit source]

(Performing the Bow/Curtsy/Wave emote in front of Brand:)

  • Prince brand: Hello!

(Performing the Angry/Cry/Panic emote in front of Brand:)

  • (Before telling Prince Brand the player's name:)
    • Prince Brand: What's wrong, [Sir/Madam]?
  • (After telling Prince Brand the player's name:)
    • Prince Brand: What's wrong, [Fremennik name]?
  • (After having six successful conversations with Prince Brand, giving him flowers and a cake:)
    • Prince Brand: What's wrong, dear?

(Performing the Cheer/Clap emote in front of Brand:)

  • (Before telling Prince Brand the player's name:)
    • Prince Brand: Thank you. It's nice to be appreciated.
  • (After telling Prince Brand the player's name:)
    • Prince Brand: Thank you, [Fremennik name].
  • (After having six successful conversations with Prince Brand, giving him flowers and a cake:)
    • Prince Brand: Thank you, dear.

(Performing the Beckon emote in front of Brand:)

  • Prince Brand: I'm staying right here.

(Performing the Laugh emote in front of Brand:)

  • (Before telling Prince Brand the player's name:)
    • Prince Brand: What's so funny, [Sir/Madam]?
  • (After telling Prince Brand the player's name:)
    • Prince Brand: What's so funny, [Fremennik name]?
  • (After having six successful conversations with Prince Brand, giving him flowers and a cake:)
    • Prince Brand: What's so funny, dear?

(Performing the Jump For Joy/Raspberry/Salute emote in front of Brand:)

  • Prince brand: You are silly!

(Performing the Dance/Jig/Twirl/Headbang/Goblin Bow/Goblin Salute emote in front of Brand:)

  • Prince Brand: You dance well, [Sir/Madam].

(Performing the Blow Kiss emote in front of Brand:)

  • (Before telling Prince Brand the player's name:)
    • Prince Brand: (Transcript missing. edit)
  • (After telling Prince Brand the player's name:)
    • Prince Brand: Let's not get ahead of ourselves now, [Fremennik name]!
  • (After having six successful conversations with Prince Brand, giving him flowers and a cake:)
    • Prince Brand: You flatter me, my darling.
Using irrelevant items on him[edit | edit source]
  • (Before telling Prince Brand the player's name:)
    • Prince Brand: (Transcript missing. edit)
  • (After telling Prince Brand the player's name:)
    • Prince Brand: (Transcript missing. edit)
  • (After having six successful conversations with Prince Brand, giving him flowers and a cake:)
    • Prince Brand: No thank you, dear.
Stage 1[edit | edit source]
Poetry
  • Prince Brand: I composed a poem, would you like to hear it?
  • Player: Of course, I'd love to.
  • Prince Brand: I got up
    This morning,
    And had an egg
    For breakfast
  • Select an option
    • Be still, my heart.
      • Player: Be still, my heart.
      • Prince Brand: I'm glad you liked it.
    • That doesn't even rhyme!
      • Player: That doesn't even rhyme!
      • Prince Brand: Quiet! What would you know about poetry?
    • And then what happened?
      • Player: And then what happened?
      • Prince Brand: No, that's the whole poem.
      • Player: Oh. I see.
    • [Random dialogue option]
The Art of Music
  • Player: So, you practice the harp? I see you have one over there.
  • Prince Brand: Yes; I play the lyre and the harp, and compose songs, poems and sagas to move you, to delight you and entertain you! Sadly, my father does not think much of the art. What do you think?
  • Select an option
    • You will be the greatest bard!
      • Player: You will be the greatest bard!
      • Prince Brand: I'm so glad you agree!
    • You're an awful bard.
      • Player: You're an awful bard.
      • Prince Brand: I am insulted, [Sir/Madam]!
    • You should listen to your father.
      • Player: You should listen to your father.
      • Prince Brand: I'm sorry you feel that way.
    • [Random dialogue option]
Suitors
  • Player: I am surprised you do not have hordes of people vying to be your betrothed, Your Highness.
  • Prince Brand: And why do you think that might be, [Sir/Madam]?
  • Select an option
    • No-one's ever heard of you.
      • Player: No-one's ever heard of you.
      • Prince Brand: I am insulted, [Sir/Madam]!
    • They don't understand your poetry as I do.
      • Player: They don't understand your poetry as I do.
      • Prince Brand: Mmm, a very good answer, [Sir/Madam].
    • They're all already married.
      • Player: They're all already married.
      • Prince Brand: Hm, no, I don't think that's the right reason.
    • [Random dialogue option]

(Talking to Prince Brand after the first three successful conversations:)

  • Prince Brand: Good day, [Sir/Madam].
  • Player: Good day, Your Royal Highness.
Stage 2[edit | edit source]

(Using flowers on Prince Brand:)

  • Prince Brand: Are these for me? Really?
  • Select an option
    • Yes
      • Player: Of course, Your Royal Highness.
      • You give Prince Brand the flowers.
      • Player has flowers removed from them.
      • Prince Brand: Thank you! They're lovely!
    • No
      • Player: No, I was just showing you.
      • Prince Brand: Oh, all right.

(After giving him flowers:)

  • Prince Brand: You have perhaps more poetry in your soul than I first thought, [Sir/Madam]...
  • Player: I'm flattered to hear you say so, Your Royal Highness.
  • Prince Brand: Oh, but I realise you have not yet told me your name!
  • Player: My name is [Fremennik name], Your Highness.
  • Prince Brand: Then I shall I call you [Fremennik name], [Sir/Madam], and you shall call me Prince.
  • Player: Very well, Prince.
To Be King
  • Player: What would you do if you became ruler of Miscellania?
  • Prince brand: Oh, I would never concern myself with such trivial matters as those involved in ruling a Kingdom. My interests lie solely in the arts.
  • Select an option
    • A much nobler pursuit, to be sure.
      • Player: A much nobler pursuit, to be sure.
      • Prince Brand: I am glad you agree.
    • If only you were any good at them...
      • Player: If only you were any good at them...
      • Prince Brand: I am insulted, [Fremennik name]!
    • You're just afraid of responsibility.
      • Player: You're just afraid of responsibility.
      • Prince Brand: Perhaps you are right...
    • [Random dialogue option]
Saga
  • Prince Brand: I composed a saga, would you like to hear it?
  • Player: I don't know if I have time for a whole saga...
  • Prince Brand: Don't worry, it's quite short. Here we go!
  • Prince Brand: Once upon a time there was a Prince,
    And Brand was his name,
    He always had a song in his heart,
    And a rhyme in his head,
  • Prince Brand: And he became the world's greatest bard,
    And delighted one and all,
    With his songs and sagas,
    And Brand was his name!
  • Select an option
    • How inspiring!
      • Player: How inspiring!
      • Prince Brand: Thank you! I thought I would compose something for future generations, to tell them my story.
    • I think my ears are bleeding.
      • Player: I think my ears are bleeding.
      • Prince Brand: If you don't appreciate my singing, you are free to leave!
    • That's not a saga!
      • Player: That's not a saga!
      • Prince Brand: It's a short one, I'll admit...
    • [Random dialogue option]
Fascination
  • Player: So, why did you decide to become a bard?
  • Prince Brand: Poetry and music have always fascinated me. I am drawn to them like a moth to an overenthusiastic mage who has set himself on fire.
  • Select an option
    • How poetic.
      • Player: How poetic.
      • Prince Brand: Why thank you. Sometimes I amaze even myself.
    • Wait, are you the moth or the mage?
      • Player: Wait, are you the moth or the mage?
      • Prince Brand: The moth!
    • That's a strange metaphor...
      • Player: That's a strange metaphor...
      • Prince Brand: It is a simile, but what do you know of poetry?
    • [Random dialogue option]

(Talking to Prince Brand after having another three successful conversations:)

  • Prince Brand: Good day, [Fremennik name].
  • Player: Good day, my Prince.

(Using a cake on Prince Brand:)

  • Prince Brand: Is this for me? Really?
  • Select an option
    • Yes
      • Player: Of course, Prince.
      • You give Prince Brand the cake.
      • Player has cake removed from them.
      • Prince Brand: Thank you! It's lovely!
    • No
      • Player: No, I was just showing you.
      • Prince Brand: Oh, all right.

(After having six successful conversations and giving Prince Brand a cake:)

  • Prince Brand: I must admit I am growing quite fond of you, [Fremennik name].
  • Player: Could it be, my Prince, that you would consider wedding a crass adventurer such as myself?
  • Prince Brand: Not yet, my darling; let us just say my heart is a maze of inescapable tunnels, and you are the light at the end of one of them.
Stage 3[edit | edit source]
Brother and Sister
  • Player: What do you think of your sister?
  • Prince Brand: We don't always see eye-to-eye, but she understands my art better than our father.
  • Select an option
    • I'm glad to hear it.
      • Player: I'm glad to hear it.
      • Prince Brand: Of course, she couldn't understand as well as you do, my darling.
    • You should listen to your father.
      • Player: You should listen to your father.
      • Prince Brand: I'm sorry you think so.
    • What art is that?
      • Player: What art is that?
      • Prince Brand: Music and poetry. Surely you haven't forgotten already?
    • [Random dialogue option]
Great Skill
  • Prince Brand: Tell me, have you ever composed any poems yourself?
  • Select an option
    • Not really, but it can't be that hard.
      • Player: Not really, but it can't be that hard.
      • Prince Brand: You don't seem to understand poetry at all...
    • I wouldn't presume to have the skill...
      • Player: I wouldn't presume to have the skill...
      • Prince Brand: You're right, it takes great skill and inspiration to be a great poet such as myself.
    • There once was a man from Varrock...
      • Player: There once was a man from Varrock...
      • Prince Brand: Don't lower the art of poetry with such bawdy rhymes!
    • [Random dialogue option]
Song
  • Prince Brand: I wrote a song about you. Would you like to hear it?
  • Player: I'd love to!
  • Prince Brand: Your hair is like a waterfall
    Or perhaps a bramble bush
    Your eyes are like an ocean on which
    I want to sail the ship of our love!
  • Select an option
    • That was lovely. I'm touched!
      • Player: That was lovely. I'm touched!
      • Prince Brand: I'm glad you liked it, my darling.
    • Eyes...ship...sail...what?
      • Player: Eyes...ship...sail...what?
      • Prince Brand: Was it really that hard to understand?
    • That was awful!
      • Player: That was awful!
      • Prince Brand: Fine! See if I write you any more songs!
    • [Random dialogue option]

(Talking to Prince Brand after having another three successful conversations:)

  • Prince Brand: Hello, dear.
  • Player: Hello, darling.
Using a ring on Prince Brand[edit | edit source]
  • (If the player has not yet had nine successful conversations with Prince Brand:)
    • Prince Brand: I couldn't possibly accept this.
  • (If the player has had nine successful conversations with Prince Brand:)
    • Prince Brand: Is this for me? Really?
    • Select an option
      • Yes
        • Player: Prince Brand, will you marry me?
        • You give Prince Brand the ring.
        • Player has ring removed from them.
        • Prince Brand: My heart is an open book to you, my darling, and all the pages say yes... ''Yes''! We'll have to put off the actual ceremony until we can find a priest, but you can tell my father I have agreed to marry you.
      • No
        • Player: No, my dear, I was just showing you.
        • Prince Brand: Oh, all right.
Talking to Prince Brand after he agrees to marry the player[edit | edit source]
  • Prince Brand: How are you doing, my darling? Have you convinced my father yet?
  • Player: Not yet, dear.

The Ceremony[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Your Majesty.
  • King Vargas: How are you getting on, [Fremennik name]? Has my [daughter/son] agreed to marry you?
  • Player: [She/He] has, Your Majesty.
  • King Vargas: Excellent, excellent.
  • (If the player's approval rating is below 75%:)
    • King Vargas: Ghrim tells me that the population is not yet very supportive of the idea of having you as ruler. You should try to gain their support.
  • (If the player's approval rating is 75% or above:)
      • King Vargas: Ghrim tells me that the population would be glad to have you as a ruler. I see no reason to delay your regency any further. Ghrim, please proceed with the ceremony.
      • Advisor Ghrim: Yes, sir. We are gathered here today to witness the rise of a new hero to the regency of the Kingdom of Miscellania, to continue the work of our great King Vargas who is unfortunately now no longer able to rule. By the powers invested in me by the Miscellaneous Constitution, I declare thee, [Fremennik name], to be the new Regent of this fair kingdom. May you bring success and prosperity to Miscellania and to all of its people.
      • Player: ...is that all?
      • King Vargas: That is all. I wish you luck as Regent. Speak to Ghrim if you require assistance.
      • Congratulations! You have completed: 'Throne of Miscellania' - Complete this Experienced quest.