Dialogue for The Convict

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Standard[edit | edit source]

  • The Convict: A pleasure, as always.
    • Player: And how are you?
      • Before A Place Called Respite:
        • The Convict: I'm good. I'm just keeping my ear to the ground. Hope to hear of a safe place where I can lie low.
      • After A Place Called Respite:
        • The Convict: Don't look at me like that.
        • Player: You've been lying to me, 'Marcus'.
        • The Convict: I can scarcely forgive myself for doing so, we must discuss it at length, soon - when we're both less busy.
      • After Return Mail:
        • The Convict: Oh, please don't take my blackmailing to heart. Let's put this White Knight business behind us. They're dead now, that's all that matters. We're still friends. I'm... useful to you.
      • After A Thief in the Night:
        • The Convict: I've been thinking on a plan to help the sea orphans. I know that their khan is responsible for the kidnappings, but how to prove it? How can I expose him?
      • After Do Unto Others:
        • The Convict: Oh good, good. Everything is going just swimmingly in Hyu-Ji. We drink, dine, duel. The sea orphans are rather wonderful. I only come here to nurse my hangovers.
      • After Hail To The Khan:
        • The Convict: I know we've had our differences, what with all the blackmail and lying, but I don't hold it against you.
        • Player: How good of you.
        • The Convict: Life is good. I'm a khan, which grants me power and status, and I can get my more subversive kicks from working with you.
      • After Hull Down On The Horizon:
        • The Convict: I know they're our enemies but I must admire their plan.
        • The Convict: The Purists joining forces with pirates and soothsayers... Why, it's a potent force.
        • The Convict: I wouldn't admit it to the others but I'm not convinced Hyu-Ji could survive such an attack.
      • After A Concerted Effort:
        • The Convict: Even with Bethan's chemicals and Tomlin's... attributes, we're going to be hard-pressed to win the fight against the Purists and Co.
        • The Convict: I'm almost... nervous.
      • After The Defiance of Hyu-Ji:
        • The Convict: Oh, life is very sweet. My advisors are practically running Hyu-Ji!
        • The Convict: Apart from the occasional portrait opportunity and the odd signing of legal documents, I live a rather stress-free life, thank Saradomin.
        • The Convict: Oh dear, it seems Tomlin is rubbing off on me. Well, thank whoever for our little escapades.
        • The Convict: Otherwise all this excess and decadence would get a trifle boring.
    • Player: I've got a job that needs doing, a job that requires your skills.
      • The Convict: My skills? Oh it must be a devious job - very devious.
    • Player: Do you prefer to work alone?
      • Without the Assassin unlocked:
        • The Convict: If you could find someone light on their feet, clever and fast, I'd consider working with them.
        • Unlock the Assassin (90 Slayer required) to unlock additional joint voyages.
      • With the Assassin unlocked and not present:
        • The Convict: Well I normally work alone, but that assassin who drops in from time to time would certainly complement my skill set.
        • If both the Assassin and Convict are in port at the same time,additionaljoint voyageswill be made available.
      • With the Assassin unlocked and in the bar:
        • The Convict: Oh, I'd be happy to worth with Ling. It's always nice to have an assassin lurking in the rafters, just in case something goes wrong.
        • The Assassin: Sounds like I'll end up doing all the work, then. Very well, let's do it.
        • Voyage screen opens
    • Player: How's the life of an escaped convict?
      • The Convict: Oh, we're all on the run from something. The lives that you and I live can't be so different.
      • The Convict: From what I've heard, you're possibly a better thief than I.
    • [View Previous Cutscenes]
      • Meet the Convict Only if he was not your first adventurer.
      • A Place Called Respite
      • Return Mail
      • A Thief in the Night
      • More
        • Do Unto Others
        • Hail To The Khan

Story Voyages[edit | edit source]

Meet the Convict[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:Meet the Convict.
  • Player: I've read your list of convictions, Mr Waxenwing.
  • The Convict: What do you think? I've always been proud of the variety: pickpocketing a noble, blackmailing an archbishop. Oh, impersonating a regent's pet - that's a favourite. Was lucky to get that one.
  • Player: It's quite a range of crimes.
  • The Convict: Cheers. Still, the reign has to come to an end. Either one does the time, or one runs away. So here one is, running away.
  • Player: Why wouldn't I send you back to jail?
  • The Convict: I can see why that'd be tempting, mostly for the reward. But my crimes have never hurt anyone.
  • The Convict: I steal little and often from the obscenely rich, and the money is spent on indulging in their lifestyle. I enjoy the perks of high society.
  • The Convict: If you still want to jail me, well, you should look at yourself. You're a legend in thieving circles. Wouldn't capturing me by hypocritical?
  • Player: Okay, you've persuaded me. How can I help?
  • The Convict: I want to disappear into the east, somewhere quiet. I shall make some enquiries then come back to see you.
  • Congratulations - you have unlocked the Convict adventurer, Horatio! The Convict now has a chance to visit your port daily, bringing voyage opportunities.

A Place Called Respite[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:A Place Called Respite.

Before Voyage

  • The Convict: Good day to you!
  • Player: Good day, Horatio. You found a spot to hide from the authorities and start a new life?
  • The Convict: Absolutely. A place called Hyu-Ji, home to a race called the sea orphans. They're not as refined as I'm used to, but they're an intelligent bunch. Best of all, they don't begrudge a new beginning. They're escapees like me - on the run from 'Purists' who take exception to them being mutants.
  • Player: How are you going to get in with them?
  • The Convict: A dash of charm, a sprinkle of sympathy. But the first step is getting there. Are you willing to aid my passage to Hyu-Ji?

After Voyage

  • The Navigator delivers a note from Horatio.
  • Player: A note?
  • The Convict: Dear portmaster. I've made a home for myself on Hyu-Ji. The sea orphans seem to be intrigued by me - tugging at my clothes and asking questions about life out in the west. I find them outside my shack most mornings. I've even taught a few to fight with fencing swords. Anyway, I should admit something. I lied to you. My name's not Horatio Waxenwing. That's an alias, something I used when I lived among the elite. My real name's more modest: it's Marcus Fine. I also said that I never hurt anyone. That's not entirely true. I got involved in a relationship that ended badly. Suffice it to say that I accepted her gifts, and she took it personally when I moved on. Believe it or not, I did care for her. When I heard she'd thrown herself from the top of Falador Castle, I wept. And now her father's after me. The old swine never approved, and to his mind I may as well have pushed his daughter. Next time we meet, I'd like to talk about this problem. I have a proposal that could benefit both of us. Sincere regards, Marcus.
  • Player: Well, it seems that 'Marcus' hasn't given up on his old habits.

Return Mail[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:Return Mail.

Before Voyage

  • Player: Hello Horatio. Or should I call you Marcus Fine?
  • The Convict: At your service, portmaster. I've heard some disappointing news. The man chasing me knows where I am. Now, I'm not one to apportion blame, but that information can only have come from this port.
  • Player: Be careful, Marcus. I won't have you throwing blame around.
  • The Convict: I'm not one to accuse. Besides, the damage is done. He won't stop until I'm dangling from a gallows like a bauble. While that may not concern you, I'm afraid I took some precautions.
  • Player: What do you mean?
  • The Convict: Meaning that I sent him a letter. I've warned him that I am khan of Hyu-Ji island, and that the sea orphans are my army. I told him to stay away, unless he wants a fight.
  • Player: Why would you do that? You're risking the lives of an entire community!
  • The Convict: Oh, I am, I am, and I HAVE been losing sleep over it. But how can I possibly protect them? I have no fleet, no men.
  • Player: You are a terrible human being, Fine.
  • The Convict: Oh dear, oh dear. Sticks and stones may break my bones. But, pray, who is protecting the bones of those helpless sea orphans? Goodbye, portmaster.

After Voyage

  • Player: Give me one reason not to throw you in jail.
  • The Convict: Only one reason? I better make it a good one. How about a letter I've drafted to the White Knights? It might mention how you've killed several of them. The White Knights may have been off-duty, but it's the sort of thing they take offence at. The letter's postmarked for delivery in two days' time - if I'm not there to stop it, it gets posted.
  • Player: This how you make friends, Marcus?
  • The Convict: No, this is how I get a message across.

A Thief in the Night[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:A Thief in the Night.

Before Voyage

  • Player: What do you want, convict? Don't you have someone else to blackmail?
  • The Convict: I'd rather I didn't have to be here, but something has forced my hand.
  • The Convict: Sea orphans are disappearing in the night. Killed or kidnapped, but I suspect the latter.
  • Player: Why would you care? You were happy to let them die.
  • The Convict: Now, that's not true. You were always going to save them.
  • The Convict: I would never let them get hurt. We have a lot in common. They've adopted my style of dress, while I enjoy their company.
  • The Convict: It's given me a chance to pass on some of the things I've learned. I value manners, poise and thievery.
  • Player: It sounds like you're creating a little community of Marcuses. I'm not sure what to think of that.
  • Player: But, yet, the sea orphans deserve to be protected. What do you need?
  • The Convict: I can conduct an investigation, but it takes a certain amount of manpower.
  • Player: I'll place a ship at your disposal.

After Voyage

  • Player: What have you discovered?
  • The Convict: What we suspected: the sea orphans are being kidnapped. The culprits appear to be mercenaries, working with a silent partner.
  • Player: Do you know who that might be?
  • The Convict: I thought it was soothsayers, practitioners of old magic; they need intestines for their divinations.
  • Player: But you think there's someone else involved?
  • The Convict: Yes. Hyu-Ji has a real khan called Tubjub. He lives in a town on the other end of the island, and he never visits the sea orphans. But the money leads back to him, as the saying goes.
  • The Convict: I believe he's acting as a middle man between the mercenaries and the soothsayers.
  • The Convict: The soothsayers would never accept live specimens, so he's the one handling the money and cutting the organs from his victims.
  • Player: That's vile!
  • The Convict: The soothsayers are due to arrive in Hyu-Ji. We need to get to the sea orphan captives soon, before they're gutted.

Do Unto Others[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:Do Unto Others.

Before Voyage

  • The Convict: Ready for a character assassination?
  • Player: I'd prefer not to be assassinated at all. And I'd rather it wasn't by you.
  • The Convict: I meant Tubjub, the khan of Hyu-Ji. he's a kidnapping, murderous bilge-rat. Tubjub cannot be permitted to sell organs to soothsayers. If we expose what's going on, disgrace him, then we can let his people depose him. I'll be starting a coup d'etat. Pretty exciting, huh?
  • Player: How do you plan to prove Tubjub's involvement?
  • The Convict: By the means I know best: subterfuge. I'll disguise myself as a mercenary and get aboard their ship. Once I can prove Tubjub's been buying slaves and selling their organs, I'll inform the khans' council.
  • Player: That actually sounds achievable.
  • The Convict: The only problem is the mercenaries. It seems that Tubjub is using the Lost Men.
  • Player: I've never heard of them.
  • The Convict: They're the most expensive mercenaries in the Eastern Lands - feared fighters who tattoo their skin with maps of the Wushanko Isles. I'm afraid that a hat, a funny voice and a neckerchief won't quite cut it. We'll have to find the Claymistress, somewhere in the Bowl. She's an expert of illusory magic. Then we move on to part two of the plan: getting the evidence to the Council of Khans.
  • Player: The khan, Tubjub...why expose him rather than kill him?
  • The Convict: I want to send a message to the soothsayers: if they're using body organs, they need to find out where they came from. Tubjub can't be the only person who's doing this.
  • Player: Sounds like a plan. Get to the dock and we'll kick it off.

After Voyage

  • Player: So, you disgraced Tubjub?
  • The Convict: Absolutely. And his people were rather unimpressed.
  • Player: What happened to him?
  • The Convict: He was long gone when the mob reached his home. No doubt he slinked off to an out-of-the-way island, searching for peasants to worship him. He'll spend the rest of his life hoping to attain former glories.
  • Player: Sounds like you're talking about yourself.
  • The Convict: Ah, touche! I would normally have a withering comeback, but I'm tired. I'll let you have this one. But you should come to Hyu-Ji some time, portmaster. Attend our parties, watch the orphans practice their sword work, see how strong they're getting. Then decide whether Tubjub and I are cut from the same cloth.

Hail to the Khan[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:Hail to the Khan.

Before Voyage

  • Player: I have a report from Hyu-Ji that claims The Lost Men are assembling for an assault. They're being led by Tubjub.
  • The Convict: Not the best of news. I should have just cut out his intestines and sold them to the soothsayers.
  • Player: I don't intend to let him level the island. I'm sending a squad to defend it.
  • The Convict: That's so very honourable, but it's also naïve. I've spent time with The Lost Men. People will die, and not all of them will be mercenaries.
  • Player: You got a better plan?
  • The Convict: Indeed I have. The orphans have been bringing me the resources of the island. Sulphur, charcoal, shell pieces. But, when the sea orphans bring them to me, they are careful to keep them separate. Combined, the resources are combustible, very explosive.
  • Player: I think I understand you. The ship's ready when you are.

After Voyage

  • Player: The explosives reduced the khan and Lost Men to a fine red mist. The captain was quite pale when he reported to me. You saved a lot of innocent lives today.
  • The Convict: And you're not the only one to think so. Hyu-Ji's council met with the sea orphans and asked for permission to talk to me. They want me as khan of the island.
  • Player: That's hardly incognito for an escaped convict.
  • The Convict: You know what? I wouldn't have believed you if you said I'd become a leader. There is a chance - a very good one - that my pursuers won't believe it either. Then there's the first rule of being a khan. Attack a khan, and you invoke the wrath of the other khans. I have diplomatic immunity!
  • Player: It doesn't seem like you need me any more. While we haven't seen eye-to-eye, I'm glad we could save the sea orphans.
  • The Convict: Don't worry Portmaster. Under my leadership, the sea orphans will be able to protect themselves.

Trio Story Voyages[edit | edit source]

Hull Down On The Horizon[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:Hull Down On The Horizon.

Before Voyage

  • The Convict: So, a missionary, a convict, and a biologist walk into a port...
  • The Missionary: The Purists are planning an attack on the island.
  • The Convict: ...and the missionary ruins the joke.
  • The Biologist: Excuse me, did you just say the Purists are planning to attack the island?
  • The Biologist: Your data's incorrect. It's pirates. Pirates are organising an invasion.
  • The Missionary: I'm no simpleton, scientist. It's Purists. A man from my congregation heard the news.
  • The Convict: And I can complete the set. A rogue group of soothsayers are planning to raid the island.
  • The Missionary: Look, thief, falsehood is a route to damnation.
  • The Convict: And self-righteousness is a route to being punched on the nose.
  • Player: Everyone stop for a moment. Hyu-Ji can't be invaded by everyone at once.
  • Player: We need to figure out which stories are true. And hope that none of them are.
  • Player: Marcus, as you're a khan now, could you help us get that information?
  • The Convict: I am khan, aren't I? Sure, send me to the Council of Khans - I should really be going anyway. It's being held on Flou Tar-Shei.

After Voyage

  • The Missionary: What's the word on the rumours?
  • The Convict: Well, between the three of us, we've made an enemy of every villain this side of Morytania.
  • The Biologist: Surely you can't mean...
  • The Convict: ...that all three rumours are true? I'm afraid so.
  • The Missionary: I'd better dust down my clobbering robes.
  • The Biologist: Wait a minute - this can't be a coincidence. Three attacks from three different factions on the same day? No-one's that unlucky.
  • Player: Bethan's right. We have to accept the possibility that these three factions are working together.
  • The Convict: Pirates take the island, Purists kill the orphans and soothsayers claim the organs? Yes, I can see how that deal might work.
  • Player: Get back to Hyu-Ji and warn the orphans, then come back here to discuss a plan. We have preparations to make.

A Concerted Effort[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:A Concerted Effort.

Before Voyage

  • Player: So, welcome to the war room! What do you think of Hyu-Ji's chances as the situation stands?
  • The Biologist: I've produced a full field report. It's only 450 pages, with a few fold-out maps and...
  • The Convict: The town's eminently burnable - wooden palisades, wooden shacks. Plus at least seven or eight breaches where the enemy could land.
  • The Missionary: The church is solid, it'll make a strong fall-back point. I indulged myself and added some oil-cauldrons to the roof, so we can hold out in a siege.
  • The Biologist: All of this is in my field report...
  • The Convict: The orphans have been practicing with swords; a fencing style, which should work well against the charge-and-slash of the pirates.
  • The Missionary: And the church guard have maces. There are only ten of them, but I've given them the full Tomlin training.
  • The Biologist: Very well, if this is some kind of competition, I can make some explosive concoctions.
  • The Biologist: At least, I would if I had any ingredients. There's none left since the pirate invasion. You know, the first one.
  • Player: Is there any way to get more?
  • The Biologist: Oh, yes! Send me out to the mines of Hanto - they've got everything a budding arsonist could need.

After Voyage

  • The Biologist: You should see what I bought! I couldn't help myself, I was like a palaeontologist in a brush shop. I've got sulphates, acids, oils, flash fluids, animal fats, tea...
  • The Convict: Ah, tea! Fantastic job. I've got the money back at the longhall.
  • The Biologist: My treat, sweetie. Basically, Hyu-ji[sic] is the most flammable and combustible laboratory in the world. And I promise I've locked it up well. They're in a safe, inside another safe, within a vacuum.
  • The Missionary: And the island's as prepared as ever it will be. With my mace and the watchful eye of Saradomin, our victory is assured.
  • Player: I really hope you're right.

The Defiance of Hyu-Ji[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:The Defiance of Hyu-Ji.

Before Voyage

  • Player: Do you have news from Hyu-Ji?
  • The Navigator: We received this via courier.
  • Player: Let's see...
  • The Convict: Feels nice to write without blackmailing you. We've reached a new stage in our relationship. The enemy fleet is getting close. Tomlin says he can smell them. Bless him, I think he's excited. And as we thought, the three factions are working together. The soothsayers are on the Purist ship, and the pirates are circling in schooners. Anyway, I'm passing the pen - Tomlin has something he wants to say. See you soon.
  • The Missionary: Afternoon, portmaster. I've got a favour to ask. Brother Jered is due to arrive today to inspect the island, to see how the church is going. I forgot they were coming - just a wee bit. But we could, perhaps, turn this to our advantage. He's arriving with ten White Knights. Not many, but enough to tip the balance. Could you pick them up on the way to joining us? Oh, and apologise to Jered for the inconvenience. Remind him that 'the love of Saradomin is ever-forgiving'.
  • Player: Well, it seems we all have a part to play in this. Let's set sail.

After Voyage

  • The Biologist: We did it! We did it!
  • The Convict: I can't believe it. You have to hand it to the sea orphans, they're quick learners.
  • The Missionary: Still here are you, Marcus? I found your getaway boat in the bay, stocked with food. I'm surprised you're not halfway to the Pincer region by now.
  • The Convict: Haha! I wouldn't do such a thing! I'm khan now, and my responsibility is to the island. It must have been from, you know, before.
  • The Missionary: With packed fresh apples, eh?
  • Player: What's important is that we kept the island safe. We helped those people to protect themselves, and now they're more capable than any of us.
  • The Biologist: They're performing their own experiments...
  • The Convict: My advisors are effectively running the place...
  • The Missionary: And they're using the church to give their own sermons... I'm fine with it. I'm more at home in battle than in the pulpit. It's time I accepted that.
  • Player: What did Brother Jered say?
  • The Missionary: Let's just say he helped that decision along. He's given funding to the sea orphans, so they can bring Saradomin to other islands.
  • Player: It seems you've all found a home and role for yourselves. It's been a real pleasure working with you all.
  • The Convict: Ditto. Even you, Tomlin.
  • The Missionary: It's been...enlightening.
  • The Biologist: Oh, wait, I think I left the safe open! The explosives!
  • The Convict: Unbelievable. Well, we better get going. You will go down in sea orphan legend, portmaster.

Random Events[edit | edit source]

Last Orders[edit | edit source]

  • The Convict: Perhaps I'll have one later.

A Simple Favour[edit | edit source]

  • The Convict: We'll need to discuss that 'item' I ordered.