Transcript of Smoking Kills

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This transcript involves dialogue with Ali Cat, Banshee Mistress, Cat, Catolax, Insectoid Assassin, Jesmona, Sumona, and the player.

Distressed Damsel[edit | edit source]

Attempting to close the curtain:

  • Some mystical force prevents you from moving the curtain. Sumona gives you a knowing smirk.

Talking to Sumona with a cat out:

  • Sumona: How dare you speak to me with that spying cat following you. Keep the vile creature away from me.

Talking to Sumona without a cat out:

  • Player: Hello, there. I have a strange feeling that you are important. Have you any idea why this might be?
  • Sumona: Oh, I'd have no clue; unless the gods themselves have taken an interest in my plight. Would you be the sort of hero who could rescue a damsel in distress?
  • Player: I've had some mixed experiences with this sort of thing in the past. Give me some more details and I'll consider it.
  • Sumona: Very well. It's a simple tale: my twin sister has been captured by fiendish monsters and is held down the town well. I need a hero to rescue her. Can you help me? If you live, I give a solemn vow to reward you greatly.
  • (Quest Overview interface opens.)
    • Not right now
      • Player: I'd rather not.
      • Sumona: You don't know what great adventure you are missing.
    • Accept quest
      • Player: Certainly, I can help.
      • Sumona: Great! All you need to do is to jump down the well in the centre of Pollnivneach and save my sister. Get to it.

Talking to Sumona again:

  • Player: Hello, again. Do you have any news for me?
  • Sumona: No news. My sister is still trapped in the bowels of the earth, awaiting your rescue.
  • Player: So, nothing I should know?
  • Sumona: Nothing. Could you get down there and rescue her? I'm sick with worry, don't you know.

Ali Cat's Warning[edit | edit source]

Attempting to climb down the well while not wearing catspeak amulet:

  • As you approach the well, a stray cat darts out and intercepts you.
  • Ali Cat: Meeeeeow.
  • Player: Not now puss, I have important work to do.
  • Ali Cat jumps at your feet four times, twice on each side; the player picks up their feet on that side each time he does that.
  • Ali Cat: Mew, mew.
  • Ali Cat runs in circles around you twice; the player looks around as he does so.
  • Player: Don't you have an owner or something? Get away!
  • Ali Cat: RAAAREEEEOWEEE!
  • Ali Cat jumps at the player's feet once, jumps down, then jumps at their head; they struggle for a brief moment, then let him go.
  • Player: Ow, ow, ow! Okay, I get the hint, you insane thing. I guess I need to talk to you; even a cat would understand the vital nature of my heroic quest.
  • Ali Cat: Mew, mew.

Attempting to climb down the well while wearing the catspeak amulet:

  • As you approach the well, a stray cat darts out and intercepts you.
  • Ali Cat: Stop, stop. Silly human.
  • Player: Not now puss. I have important work to do.
  • Ali Cat jumps at your feet four times, twice on each side; the player picks up their feet on that side each time he does that.
  • Ali Cat: I said stop. Don't you understand?
  • Ali Cat runs in circles around you twice; the player looks around as he does so.
  • Player: Don't you have an owner or something? Get away!
  • Ali Cat: I have no owner, for I am a free cat. Listen to me or die horribly!
  • Ali Cat jumps at the player's feet once, jumps down, then jumps at their head; they struggle for a brief moment, then let him go.
  • Player: Look, fleabag, I need to go down here to rescue a damsel in distress. I know it's dangerous.
  • Ali Cat: You think you can fight banshees while surrounded by smoke? More skilled folk than you have died horribly in there.
  • Player: Smoke and banshees? Well, I'm sure I'll prevail.
  • Ali Cat: Try wearing your earmuffs and a face mask at the same time, bonehead: it can't be done. You'd be as helpless as a newborn kitten thrown into the Fight Pit. Luckily, I know a solution to this problem.
  • Player: I suppose you'll have me travelling the globe on some epic quest?
  • Ali Cat: Oh, no. All you need to do is seek out Catolax, a Slayer master who died ages ago, and have a chat with him. He was buried in the desert, so he may be hard to talk to.
  • Player: The desert's a big place, any better directions?
  • Ali Cat: A deity told me to look near the ruins of Ullek. That's some-way east of what you humans call the Agility Pyramid. There are some old tombs in the valley walls there, which are only openable if you know the trick.
  • Player: Okay, the tombs east of the Agility Pyramid, talk to dead Slayer guy, learn the 'trick' and I can be off. Oh, and thanks, too.
  • Ali Cat: My pleasure. A warning: don't trust any redheads. Oh, take your cat friend and this...
  • You have a momentary insight, from a source that is completely unknown. You feel you know how to enter one of the tombs of Ullek.

Attempting to climb down the well again:

  • You haven't followed Ali Cat's advice yet. It's best not to courth death by entering the well.

Talking to Ali Cat again:

  • Ali Cat: Hello again, human. There's still no way you'd survive in there, so you can't go in.
  • Player: Can you remind me what I was supposed to be doing?
  • Ali Cat: You need to seek out Catolax, a Slayer master who died ages ago, and have a chat with him. He was buried in the desert, so he may be hard to talk to.
  • Player: The desert's a big place, any better directions?
  • Ali Cat: A deity told me to look near the ruins of Ullek. That's some-way east of what you humans call the Agility Pyramid. There are some old tombs in the valley walls there, which are only openable if you know the trick.
  • Player: Okay, the tombs east of the Agility Pyramid, talk to dead Slayer guy, learn the 'trick' and I can be off. Oh, and thanks, too.
  • Ali Cat: My pleasure. A warning: don't trust any redheads. Oh, take your cat friends.

Talking to Sumona again:

  • Player: Hello, again. Do you have any news for me?
  • Sumona: No news. My sister is still trapped in the bowels of the earth, awaiting your rescue. You smell funny; of cat, or something.
  • Player: Well, I spoke to a cat just recently and talked about our mission. It said-
  • Sumona: You think I'm interested in your gossip? Go and rescue my sister from that well.
  • Player: But-
  • Sumona: No ifs, no buts, just rescue. We have a deal, remember? I even made a vow to reward you. That's not something I do often.

Tomb of the Slayer[edit | edit source]

Trials and Traps[edit | edit source]

Entering the tomb:

  • You find the secret latch and enter the ancient tomb of which the cat told you.
  • If the player's cat is not out:
    • You hear a mewing from your bag. Your cat seems to be attracting your attention.

Exiting the tomb:

  • You leave the tomb and emerge, blinking, into the desert sun.

Talking to the player's cat while wearing the catspeak amulet:

  • Player: Anything you could offer in the way of advice, my feline friend?
  • Cat: Have you seen the way that Sumona creature looks at me?
  • Player: What's that got to do with it?
  • Cat: She hates me, which shows she's up to no good. We cats are a blessed species - remember that.
  • Player: I'm still confused, but I'll give your theory due consideration.

Searching the tomb with a pickaxe:

  • Player receives steel pickaxe.
  • You wrench the pickaxe from its position in the tomb, but discover no more loot.

Searching a sealed tomb:

  • This tomb's seal is of superior quality. You can't open it.

Searching an open tomb:

  • You rummage inside the hole in the wall but find nothing remotely interesting.

Searching the floor:

  • There are small holes in the floor. It's a trap!
    • Try to avoid it.
      • You attempt to evade the trap but it is impossible. It must be controlled elsewhere.
    • Leave it alone.
      • Player: I think I'll leave it alone. I might get hurt!

Passing over the floor:

  • You accidentally set off a trap and are poisoned!
  • Player: Ouch!

Attempting to pass the sticks:

  • Try as you might, you find no way of disarming this trap from here.

Searching a holey wall, without a cat out:

  • Although the hole looks interesting, it is far too small for you to open. A cat could fit in there, however.

Searching a holey wall, with a cat out and without wearing the catspeak amulet:

  • Cat: Meeeeew.
  • Player: Ah, yes. I can't understand you without my amulet.

Searching a holey wall, with a cat out and while wearing the catspeak amulet:

  • Player: Anything you could offer in the way of advice, my feline friend?
  • Cat: Well, the obvious path is clearly a trap and that hole over there is very interesting.
  • Player: Interesting enough to go in and have a look?
  • Cat: I'll look inside and check it for you, on the off chance that there's a nice place to have a nap.
  • Player: No, come back!
  • Cat: Too late now. I'm off.
  • The cat goes into the hole and the wall breaks down, revealing rooms on both sides of the tomb.

Searching a holey wall after revealing the rooms:

  • There's no clue about how your cat opened the door.

Entering the eastern room:

  • Three aggressive skeletons appear across the pit.

Destroying the broken door:

  • You swing at the damaged door mightily with your pickaxe, removing a chunk.
  • The already-damaged door is cracked further as you smite it.
  • You kick the door and break off another chunk.
  • Your swift footwork clears the last of the rubble.

Attempting to destroy the destroyed broken door:

  • There is nothing left here but fragments of stone.

Talking to the player's cat after it opens the door:

  • Player: Anything you could offer in the way of advice, my feline friend?
  • Cat: Everything looks suspicious in here, but I have some special advice from special sources.
  • Player: Special sources?
  • Cat: He is content to act as an anonymous force for your preservation on this occasion, and that's not something he does often. You must have impressed him in the past.
  • Player: Sometimes I feel that the action goes on behind the scenes in the desert.
  • Cat: That's much the case here, too. The information I have for you is threefold. Firstly, you can avoid or kill enemies as you see fit to start with. Secondly, you should examine the smallest details if you see seemingly unavoidable perils.
  • Player: Couldn't you give me direct instructions, for once? Just give me the third clue and let me ponder them all.
  • Cat: Thirdly, the guardians sometimes only appear if their minions are dead. That's your lot – I hope you enjoy it!

Searching odd markings before disabling traps:

  • There are small holes in the wall. It's a trap!
    • Try to disarm it, using your Thieving skill.
      • You attempt to disable the trap, but it must be controlled from elsewhere.
    • Leave it alone.
      • (Dialogue ends)

Searching the wall on either side:

  • With a subtle grinding sound, a hidden mechanism operates just ahead of you. You'd best make your move now.

Entering the north-eastern room:

  • Two skeletons and two zombies spawn.

Upon defeating the four monsters:

  • You freeze in fear as an evil presence pervades the chamber.
  • A mummy warrior emerges from the sarcophagus and attacks the player.

Attempting to open the door without the magic path key:

  • The door is locked.

Attempting to open the door with the magic path key:

  • The door unlocks as you insert the key.

Attempting to open the door with the ranged path key:

  • The door unlocks as you insert the skull-design key.

Pulling a lever for the first time:

  • Hidden mechanisms rumble as you pull the lever.

Pulling the lever again:

  • This lever has already been pulled.

Searching the floor after pulling a lever:

  • It would appear that you have disarmed this trap by pulling the lever.

Crossing over the floor or passing the sticks after pulling the appropriate lever lever:

  • It looks like you have disarmed these traps with the lever. Phew!

Catolax[edit | edit source]

Talking to Catolax without a ghostspeak amulet:

  • Catolax: Woo woo.
  • Player: Now, where did I leave my amulet of ghostspeak?

Talking to Catolax with the ghostspeak amulet:

  • Player: At last, I reach you. I was told that you could help me in a quest.
  • Catolax: Indeed I can. The master of the dead told me of your need.
  • Player: Master of the dead? I'm already a bit confused, so some clarifications would be handy.
  • Catolax: I am dead, so my appetite for conversation is not large. I will give you the knowledge, but will not submit to further examination. You already know the answers to your own questions.
  • You have a momentary insight, from a source that is completely unknown. You feel you know how to combine earmuffs with a Slayer face mask.

Talking to Catolax again before combining the earmuffs with the face mask:

  • Catolax: Why must you pester me now? Combine your earmuffs and Slayer face mask, then go forth and rescue your damsel in distress. Anything more?
  • Select an option
    • Could you tell me what to expect during the rescue?
      • Player: Could you tell me what to expect during the rescue?
      • Catolax: Indeed I can, for it was there that I died, many years ago.
      • Player: Really? I'm sorry to hear that.
      • Catolax: It is no matter, as my life would have passed by now. As for the area beneath the well: it is the source of some creatures sought by slayers.
      • Player: I'd wondered where these came from, but I thought it was spontaneous generation, or something.
      • Catolax: Many of the perils of this world are there by design, not by accident. You will find, however, that much of the dungeon you intend to visit is sealed off. Only by successfully rescuing Jesmona and weakening the barriers will you be able to access the whole area.
      • Player: It sounds simple enough.
      • Catolax: Be warned, however; this Sumona might not be expecting for you to succeed. Also, there is a monstrous banshee there which has a scream capable of penetrating earmuffs, so you will simply have to tolerate its attacks. Luckily, the effect of this scream is more awkward than deadly in effect.
    • I'm not after anything, in fact.
      • Player: I'm not after anything, in fact.

Talking to Catolax again after combining the earmuffs with the face mask:

  • Player: I made the masked earmuffs.
  • Catolax: The sister is rescued?
  • Player: Well, no. I thought I'd come and chat with you, as it didn't seem that urgent.
  • Catolax: Heroes aren't the same as they were in my day. Can I help you with anything else?
  • (Continues above)

Bottom of the Well[edit | edit source]

Many Thanks[edit | edit source]

If the player is not wearing the catspeak amulet:

  • Ali Cat: Meeeeeow.
  • Player: Ah yes, I can't understand you without my amulet of catspeak.

If the player is wearing the catspeak amulet:

  • Player: Hello, Ali. I made myself masked earmuffs, so I'm safe in that vile dungeon.
  • Ali Cat: Good for you. I hope the hunting is great down there. If only there were more mouse-sized monsters, I'd be heroic too.

Smoking Kills[edit | edit source]

Entering the dungeon:

  • You descend into the somewhat smoky depths of the well, to the accompaniment of eery wails.

Exiting the dungeon:

  • You nimbly climb up the bucket rope, emerging into Pollnivneach's bustling square.

Entering the dark stairs:

  • This passage looks rocky, dangerous and one-way. It also leads away from beneath Pollnivneach, where Sumona's sister is.
  • Do you want to head into the darkness?
    • Yes, I feel brave.
      • You tumble into the darkness, arriving on a different cave level.
      • The player appears on the south-eastern end of the Smoke Dungeon.
    • No way!
      • You stay where you are.

Attempting to pick up an additional banshee voice after acquiring a first:

  • The object disintegrates with a faint howl as you try to pick it up.

Attempting to pass through the wavering mystic barrier without a banshee voice:

  • The barrier fluctuates in time with the banshee's howl, but it is otherwise impervious.

Attempting to pass through the wavering mystic barrier with a banshee voice:

  • The banshee's voice erupts in a final cry, then dissipates into nothingness. The barrier loses some of its stability and you can pass through.
  • Your goal stands before you.
  • Player: What's going on here, then?
  • Jesmona: Save me!
  • Insectoid assassin: This woman belongs to us now and we shall not free her. No puny adventurer can interfere.
  • Player: Free her or face my righteous wrath!
  • Banshee mistress: Eeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah!

After defeating the enemies:

  • Player: Once more, I am victorious and save the day.
  • Jesmona: It is over. Now burn in the hell of your abject failure.
  • Jesmona casts a fire spell on one of the assassins.
  • Insectoid assassin #1: No mi-
  • The assassin dies.
  • Jesmona: You too have failed me.
  • Jesmona casts a fire spell on the second assassin.
  • Insectoid assasin #2: Spare me!
  • The second assassin dies.
  • Jesmona: My shackles! Now, freedom is mine.
  • Jesmona casts a fire spell on the tome.
  • Jesmona: I am rescued, it seems. My sister will deal with this.
  • Jesmona teleports out.
  • Player: Now I really am confused.
  • Screen fades to black.
  • Catolax: My heartfelt thanks, adventurer. With the death of the banshee mistress, my soul is freed.
  • Player: Can you tell me what just happened, though?
  • Catolax: You have thwarted an attempt upon your life by the scourge of the desert lands. Her power will now be lessened once more. Fortunately for you, you have a promise of a reward, so will be safe from her vengeance. As I only answered your direct questions, I too will be able to exist without her torments. Only she loses.
  • Player: That's a bit less confusing, but what about the book and the vanishing twin?
  • Catolax: The book granted my murderess powers over the creatures here. I am sure that its destruction was simply to deny you its powers. As for the sister: I am sure you have realised that such a twin is far too convenient to actually exist. Now, my power to contact you through your mind is fading, as the immediacy of your victory passes. Once you have spoken with Sumona, I will await you below the well. Talk with me there if you have more questions.
  • The cutscene ends and the screen fades from black.

Passing through the wavering mystic barrier:

  • You pass through the mystic barrier, which feels odd.

A Job Well Done[edit | edit source]

Ali Cat[edit | edit source]

While wearing the catspeak amulet:

  • Ali Cat: Word on the street is that you rescued the damsel and are due a hefty reward.
  • Player: That's what I'm hoping.
  • Ali Cat: Well, she's the sort to keep her promises, so you should be fine. Don't expect her to be gracious about it, though.
  • Player: I'll bear that in mind.

Catolax[edit | edit source]

While wearing the ghostspeak amulet:

  • Catolax: How goes it?
  • Player: I have rescued Jesmona, although it got slightly confusing at the end.
  • Catolax: Yes, the whole affair seems to have been played out behind the scenes, one might say. It's best you fetch your reward from that damsel in distress. Anything more?
  • Select an option
    • Could you tell me what's going on?
    • I'm not after anything, in fact.
      • Player: I'm not after anything, in fact.

Sumona[edit | edit source]

Talking to her[edit | edit source]

Talking to Sumona without a cat out:

  • Player: I rescued your sister or, at least, it seems she escaped. I assume you have some sort of psychic link and know that she is safe.
  • Sumona: Yes, of course. I am delighted, happy, ecstatic.
  • Player: I'll have some questions afterwards, but do I get a nice reward? You swore, quite definitely, to recompense me.
  • Sumona: As you seem so good at killing things, I can give you some of these 'Slayer tasks' I hear about. I can also show you how to combine some of your existing Slayer equipment. In addition, my powers are such that you will be able to explore the areas beyond the barriers, down below the well, since I have weakened them for you.
  • Player: Thanks. I hope you weren't too distressed by the whole affair.
  • Sumona: Oh, I was more heartbroken than you can ever comprehend.
  • Congratulations! Quest complete.

Trade option[edit | edit source]

  • Sumona: We have matters to discuss before I sell anything to you.

Post-Quest Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Sumona[edit | edit source]

  • Sumona: 'Ello. I'm a Slayer master now.
    • Player: I need another assignment.
    • Player: Do you have anything for trade?
    • Player: I am here to discuss any rewards that I might be eligible for.
    • Player: I have some questions about your sister.
      • Sumona: There's not much to say. She's back in a safe place, where no one will see her again.
      • Player: She started incinerating things when I freed her, and she said some pretty odd things. I'd prefer it if you gave me some answers.
      • Sumona: Am I my sister's keeper? Some things must remain a mystery, known only to the gods.
        • Player: I'd like to know about the inhabitants of the dungeons.
          • Sumona: They are monsters, so they are fit only for slaying. With no thoughts of an afterlife, they live a simple life of kill and be killed. You should strive for such an existence, for therein lies happiness.
          • Player: That's quite a grim philosophy.
        • Player: Why are you so shifty when I talk about your sister?
          • Sumona: Shifty? Me? I'm protecting her and leaving no clues to her location.
          • Player: But why not tell me?
          • Sumona: There has already been a kidnap attempt and there may be another. Now, I shall be silent, in case I reveal too much.
        • Player: The barriers in the dungeon confuse me.
          • Sumona: Well, they should be mostly passable. I weakened them for you after you rescued Jesmona. You should be able to sate your destructive appetite upon these creatures.
        • Player: I'm not after anything, in fact.
    • Player: Er, nothing.

Ali Cat[edit | edit source]

  • Ali Cat: So, you've finished Sumona's mission and you're now using her to your advantage. Well done.
  • Player: Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that.
  • Ali Cat: Oh, but I would. Using folk who think they're superior, but you know are not, is a useful life skill. You're becoming ever more feline, which is a good thing – trust me.
  • Player: I think that was a compliment, so thanks.