Transcript of Sliske's Ramblings
Day one of the Sixth Age
I have changed the world. I have taken the status quo and I have smashed it to pieces and scattered the shards across Gielinor.
The staff, the Siphon, was practically gifted to me. The Dragonkin weak and pathetic, trapped in my little shadow web and then the staff was mine. It was so simple, almost laughably so, I can barely consider it an achievement.
And yet still I have changed the world. I have used the Siphon to slay one of the most powerful beings to walk Gielinor. The great Guthix, felled by my hand, by my whim...by my destiny.
Yet already his power had been passed on. As predicted the Siphon was insufficient to grant me ascension, for which I am so very very glad. Guthix, in his dying breath, created something new, an agent of upheaval that I would never have dreamed of. He called them the World Guardian.
They will be the key to unlock complete chaos across all of Gielinor.
I think I'm in love.
[The journal is mostly filled with strange doodles. Several unflattering pictures of the other Mahjarrat dominate a lot of the page.]
Day one hundred and thirteen of the Sixth Age
Guthix's death is not without consequence. They have returned. The gods, straight back here as though they had never left. Each of them barking orders, demanding worship, sacrifice and absolute devotion.
I haven't laughed so hard in weeks.
Zamorak, the great betrayer, has returned, arriving in Lumbridge with a theatrical flourish that I confess great envy to. Then immediately he was met by the only man to wear blue skin with arrogance, the mighty Saradomin. The two of them blasted Lumbridge apart within moments and have just been locked screaming at each other for the past few hours.
I'm going to be laughing about this for weeks, I just know it.
[The journal now contains several drawings of Saradomin and Zamorak. The pictures focus obsessively on Zamorak's moustache.]
Day one hundred and eighty-ish of the Sixth Age
My sides hurt. They really hurt. I've been laughing so much about Zamorak's beat down by the hands of the great blue Saradomin. I mean he didn't even come close, it seems that practically none of Gielinor's population sided with him. I suppose it's a testament to Saradomin's spectacular propaganda department.
Day two hundred and something of the Sixth Age
Two more of them at it now. Bandos and Armadyl of all people. I hadn't expected the big bird to get involved in this whole conflict, but here he is building a weapon of mass destruction.
I'm so proud.
Once more the various adventurers and heroes of Gielinor are now fighting amongst themselves in order to make sure their deity of choice will win. If I were a betting man I'd put my money on Bandos, but I just can't call this one.
[The journal becomes largely incomprehensible. Various strange diagrams are doodled about the place and most of the writing has been crossed out heavily.]
This lot of Guthixians is so exasperating. They really won't get over me annihilating their god. The worst bit? The Easter Bunny's even decided to stop bringing me chocolate! I thought it was just a one off, but it's been 3 years now.
Fluffykins can hold a grudge all right. So petty.
It gives me an idea. How about this! If he won't bring me chocolate, I'll make my own! How hard can it be to make chocolate? Yes... Next year, Easter'll be all about MY chocolate, for a change.
[The journal has several pages missing, clearly torn out for some reason.]
We're not as similar as I had hoped, are we? It won't work unless I can make them more...compatible.
[There are assorted diagrams that looks like a person, but with something coming out of them.]
I have a plan. It might work, it might be the solution to my little problem. I have most of the pieces right here and the rest I can easily obtain with only the slightest bit of subterfuge.
Yes it will work.
They'll have no idea what my real goal is until it's far too late.