Dialogue for Prehistoric Potterington

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  • Prehistoric Potterington: Oh hello there my
    • Random name chosen from the following:
      • fermented fennel sandwich!
      • succulent salted sausage!
      • marvelously marinaded little chicken!
      • sweet little artichoke!
      • delicious dairy-free doughnut!
      • scrumptious sun-blushed tomato!
      • tasty little turnip!
      • most tender slab of rex meat!
      • bubbly little beetroot!
      • spicy little chilli flake!
  • Prehistoric Potterington: Welcome to our little plot of land on this weird little island. My granddaughter has roped these old bones into helping expand the Potterington brand to all the corners of the agricultural world. So here I am, sunning my shrivelled legs on this tropical paradise filled with bloody great death lizards. Could be worse. I used to live in Draynor. That's a right miserable place I can tell you. So, you ready to help expand our farming enterprise?
  • Select An Option
    • [Ask about Granny]
      • Prehistoric Potterington: Oh me dear? Why there's not much to know really. I'm Great Great Granny Potterington, Petunia's great grandmother. Come out of retirement to help my great granddaughter manage this new farming enterprise.
      • Player: Wait? You're granny's great grandmother?
      • Prehistoric Potterington: Oh yes dear. I was a grandmother when Granny was just a wee young thing.
      • Select An Option
        • [Ask her age]
          • Prehistoric Potterington: Oh dearie me dearie, you never ask a lady her age. It's terribly rude. But I'll tell you, I'm older than my teeth and younger than I feel. He he he.
          • (Same as below)
        • [Don't be rude]
          • Prehistoric Potterington: I've been living the last few years in Draynor. Nice little village full of thoroughly miserable people. So when my great granddaughter offered me the opportunity to visit this tropical paradise, why I had to accept. Like my great granddaughter I have handled a few marrows and potatoes. So I know what I'm doing here on this island.
          • (Shows previous-to-previous options)
    • [Ask about the farm]
      • Prehistoric Potterington: This farm is a unique environment, it's not suitable for your standard livestock. Instead this is the perfect place to raise those giant lizards that you see wandering round the island. I know they might look scary, but get some good grub in them and you'll find them quite manageable dearie. You'll need to purchase the deeds from the farmer's market and then build the pens yourself using the resources from the island. After that you'll be good to go.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • [Ask about animals]
      • Select An Option
        • How do I get animals?
          • Prehistoric Potterington: Well some animals you can get from me. I've got me a few frogs and salamanders tucked away for a modest fee. For your jadinkos you'll need to get some hunting going. As for the biggest beasts, you'll either need to get on with murdering some giant lizards, or you can sometimes pick some up whilst hunting them. Of course, you can also trade any of them with your fellow farmers. The Grand Exchange won't let us trade animals on it, but you can trade with each other directly.
          • (Shows previous options)
        • How do I raise animals?
          • Prehistoric Potterington: To raise an animal, you first need to make sure you've checked it over. An unchecked animal could have all manner of diseases, ticks, parasites or curses attached to it and you don't want that. Then you just need to use the animal on an appropriately sized paddock. Small animals go in the small pen, large in the large, etc. You can't raise different animals in the same paddock either as they tend to fight. You'll also need to feed your animals. This is just a simple case of making sure you've put the right sort of food in the feeding trough for the animal in that paddock. Remember that not all animals will eat all types of food, so make sure you're not trying to feed dragons strawberries or they'll starve. A starving animal will lose happiness and health, increasing the chance of it becoming sick and reducing the weight, speed and attractiveness potential of that animal. If your animal gets diseases you will need to examine it. Look over its symptoms and administer the appropriate treatment to cure it. A diseased animal has lower stats than healthier animals, so it's always worth keeping them healthy. Animals are fairly chilled out on the farm, so you don't need to keep a constant eye on them. Just pop back every once in a while to see how they're doing.
          • (Shows previous options)
        • How do I breed animals?
          • Prehistoric Potterington: Oh, that's easy. You just need to get two animals of the same species and put them in the breeding pen. Make sure that they're of sufficient breeding age and that they have food, then just wait... They'll get it together on their own time and eventually you should have a lovely baby animal waiting for you. Despite claims by today's youth, elder animals are quite capable of breeding. So don't worry if your animals get a bit long in the tooth. They'll still be quite capable of...doing the job. Animals take time to breed and you'll need to keep them as healthy and happy as possible to get the fastest results. Also, remember that the breeding pen can only hold 4 animals at a time, so make sure you keep taking the kids out to get new ones in.
          • (Shows previous options)
        • What are traits and perks?
          • Prehistoric Potterington: Traits are little identifiers that indicate how that animal differs from others. Some traits mean an animal is much happier than others and easy to keep amused. Some traits mean that you can harvest them for more materials. Some traits may do seemingly nothing at all. Whilst others will do strange things. It's generally always a good thing to try and breed multiple traits into animals as the benefits are cumulative.
          • Player: And what are perks?
          • Prehistoric Potterington: Ah, now for those you first need to buy a farm totem from the farmers' market and attach it to an animal pen. Then place an elder animal in that pen to activate that animal's perk. For instance, the perk for rabbits is an increase in all animal breeding chances. If you place a second elder animal of the same type in the other pen of that size - also with an attached farm totem - you'll make the perk more potent!
          • (Shows previous options)
        • [Ask about something else.]
          • (Shows previous options)
    • [Ask about sales]
      • Select An Option
        • How can I earn beans?
          • Prehistoric Potterington: Pretty much the only way to earn more beans is to sell on some of the animals you've raised. You'll find buyers showing up on the farm on the beach here quite regularly. Sell 'em the animals they're after, and you'll soon see them beans flowing in. Progress will be slow to start, but once we've built up some reputation and a customer base, you'll have more beans than you know what to do with!
          • (Shows previous options)
        • How does selling work?
          • Prehistoric Potterington: Listen close, 'cos there's a lot of nuance to making a great sale. First up, a buyer will only have interest in a specific type of animal. Take Myfi, for instance - she'll only ever want to buy rabbits. Each day they show up, they'll only want up to a specific amount of that animal too. They ain't made of beans, so will be on a budget. The best age at which to sell animals is adolescence. You can sell older animals at a slight discount - they may be past their prime, but still hold fair value. And while you can sell eggs and babies, you won't get very much for them. That's what people pay us for - to raise them.
          • (Shows previous options)
        • Any other useful tips?
          • Prehistoric Potterington: Buyers will also have a special request - both a specific breed and specific trait. Match either with any sale and you'll get more beans. Match both and you'll get a nice little bonus on top. That said, they'll overlook the specific breed if you're selling 'em a shiny animal! For all sales, regardless of any special request, there are certain animal traits can affect bean offers. Anything with the Surly, Nice But Dim or Limited Efficiency traits will sell for fewer beans. But anything with the Lucky, Fortunate or Unlucky For Some traits will sell for more beans. It still might be worth selling animals with bad bean traits if it's to fulfill a special request. The boost from matching the special request should offset any negatives. Finally, if you can get hold of one of those fancy farming outfits, you might be able to negotiate better bean prices on EVERY sale! Imagine that...
          • (Shows previous options)
        • Show me the farmers' market?
        • [Ask about something else.]
          • (Shows previous options)
    • Goodbye, Granny.
      • Prehistoric Potterington: Goodbye, dearie.