Dialogue for Parcel Pete

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November 2018[edit | edit source]

Overhead lines[edit | edit source]

  • (One of the following is seen occasionally:)
    • Parcel Pete: It's time to give back, mail for everyone!
    • Parcel Pete: Parcels from the Hedge!
    • Parcel Pete: Post! Post! Post! There's so much post!

When talked to[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: What do you want?
    • What's wrong?
      • Player: What's wrong?
      • Parcel Pete: Sorry, I'm just frustrated about this 'internship'. My brother won't listen to any of my ideas, and he's only in charge because he's older! Not to mention making me follow adventurers around like a pet...
      • (Returns to the initial options.)
    • What happened to the fanmail?
      • Player: What happened to the fanmail?
      • Parcel Pete: Ah yes, the first of my many improvements to the postal service. I simply glued all the fanmail to the parcels. Now we just have to deliver the parcels.
      • Player: Ah, so you just found parcels and fanmail from the same people and bundled them together. Clever!
      • Parcel Pete: From the same people, that would have made more sense...
      • (Returns to the initial options.)
    • Got any interesting rumours?
      • Player: Got any interesting rumours?
      • Parcel Pete: I don't read people's mail, you can't prove anything! I mean, er, I haven't heard any rumours recently.
      • Player: Would a few coins jog your memory?
      • Parcel Pete: Well if you were to hand me a few coins I might remember something...
      • (Returns to the initial options.)
    • Anything I can help with?
      • Player: Anything I can help with?
      • Parcel Pete: Well, if you could find some bone hurting juice, I may have an idea... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA Anyway, I have no idea where to find such a thing.
      • (Returns to the initial options.)

When using coins on Parcel Pete[edit | edit source]

If 1 to 100 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: Hmm, I don't really feel like sharing anything with you at the moment...
    • Parcel Pete: It seems there's a conspiracy of some sort, cutting down trees and moving shruberries...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...

If 101 to 199 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: Hmm, I don't really feel like sharing anything with you at the moment...
    • Parcel Pete: It seems there's a conspiracy of some sort, cutting down trees and moving shruberries...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...

If 200 to 377 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: It seems there's a conspiracy of some sort, cutting down trees and moving shruberries...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...

If 378 to 550 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...
    • Parcel Pete: I hear 'somebody' is planning to 'take care' of Postie Pete...

If 551 to 685 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...
    • Parcel Pete: I hear 'somebody' is planning to 'take care' of Postie Pete...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an order for 2000 cabbages from someone called 'Bryan', claims to be an expert at cabbage tossing...

If 686 to 699 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...
    • Parcel Pete: I hear 'somebody' is planning to 'take care' of Postie Pete...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an order for 2000 cabbages from someone called 'Bryan', claims to be an expert at cabbage tossing...

If 700 to 1,000 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • Parcel Pete: I saw an order for 2000 cabbages from someone called 'Bryan', claims to be an expert at cabbage tossing...

If over 1,000 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: Woah buddy! You trying to get me in trouble or something?

March 2019[edit | edit source]

When talked to[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: What do you want?
  • Select an option
    • How's it going?
      • Player: How's it going?
      • Parcel Pete: Not bad actually, this is my second 'internship' for my brother Pete.
      • Parcel Pete: He's started to listen to some of my ideas!
      • Parcel Pete: Check out the new addition to the post office. I've installed a delivery and collection ssytem where you can exchange your stamps for items that were previously obtainable in those parcels of ours.
      • Parcel Pete: That's just one of the awesome ideas that's made it into the postal service we've got going on here.
      • Player: Anything else I should know about?
      • Parcel Pete: Ah yes! Since sticking fan mail to the parcel worked out so well last time, I've told Pete he should attempt to deliver any lost property you've earned wh en he delivers your daily parcel.
      • (Returns to the initial options.)
    • Got any interesting rumours?
      • Player: Got any interesting rumours?
      • Parcel Pete: I don't read people's mail, you can't prove anything!
      • Parcel Pete: I mean, er, I haven't heard any rumours recently.
      • Player: Would a few coins jog your memory?
      • Parcel Pete: Well if you were to hand me a few coins I might remember something...
      • (Returns to the initial options.)
    • Anything I can help with?
      • Player: Anything I can help with?
      • Parcel Pete: Well, if you could find some bone hurting juice, I may have an idea...
      • Parcel Pete: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
      • Parcel Pete: Anyway, I have no idea where to find such a thing.
      • (Returns to the initial options.)

When using coins on Parcel Pete[edit | edit source]

If 1 to 100 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: Hmm, I don't really feel like sharing anything with you at the moment...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...
    • Parcel Pete: It seems there's a conspiracy of some sort, cutting down trees and moving shruberries...

If 101 to 199 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: Hmm, I don't really feel like sharing anything with you at the moment...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...
    • Parcel Pete: It seems there's a conspiracy of some sort, cutting down trees and moving shruberries...

If 200 to 377 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...
    • Parcel Pete: It seems there's a conspiracy of some sort, cutting down trees and moving shruberries...

If 378 to 550 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I hear 'somebody' is planning to 'take care' of Postie Pete...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...

If 551 to 685 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I hear 'somebody' is planning to 'take care' of Postie Pete...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an order for 2000 cabbages from someone called 'Bryan', claims to be an expert at cabbage tossing...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...

If 686 to 699 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I hear 'somebody' is planning to 'take care' of Postie Pete...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an order for 2000 cabbages from someone called 'Bryan', claims to be an expert at cabbage tossing...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...

If 700 to 1,000 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • Parcel Pete: I saw an order for 2000 cabbages from someone called 'Bryan', claims to be an expert at cabbage tossing...

If over 1,000 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: Woah buddy! You trying to get me in trouble or something?

October–November 2019[edit | edit source]

When talked to[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: What can I do for you?
  • Select an option
    • How's it going?
      • Player: How's it going?
      • Parcel Pete: Not bad actually, this is my third 'internship' for my brother Pete.
      • Parcel Pete: He's started to listen to some of my ideas!
      • Parcel Pete: Check out the addition to the post office. I've installed a delivery and collection system where you can exchange your stamps for items that were previously obtainable in those parcels of ours.
      • Parcel Pete: That's just one of the awesome ideas that's made it into the postal service we've got going on here.
      • Player: Anything else I should know about?
      • Parcel Pete: Ah yes! Since sticking fan mail to the parcel worked out so well last time, I've told Pete he should attempt to deliver any lost property you've earned when he delivers your daily parcel.
      • (Returns to the initial options.)
    • Got any interesting rumours?
      • Player: Got any interesting rumours?
      • Parcel Pete: I don't read people's mail, you can't prove anything!
      • Parcel Pete: I mean, er, I haven't heard any rumours recently.
      • Player: Would a few coins jog your memory?
      • Parcel Pete: Well if you were to hand me a few coins I might remember something...
      • (Returns to the initial options.)
    • Anything I can help with?
      • Player: Anything I can help with?
      • Parcel Pete: Well, if you could find some bone hurting juice, I may have an idea...
      • Parcel Pete: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
      • Parcel Pete: Anyway, I have no idea where to find such a thing.
      • (Returns to the initial options.)

When using coins on Parcel Pete[edit | edit source]

If 1 to 100 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: Hmm, I don't really feel like sharing anything with you at the moment...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...
    • Parcel Pete: It seems there's a conspiracy of some sort, cutting down trees and moving shruberries...

If 101 to 200 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: Hmm, I don't really feel like sharing anything with you at the moment...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...
    • Parcel Pete: It seems there's a conspiracy of some sort, cutting down trees and moving shruberries...

If 201 to 377 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...
    • Parcel Pete: It seems there's a conspiracy of some sort, cutting down trees and moving shruberries...

If 378 to 449 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I hear 'somebody' is planning to 'take care' of Postie Pete...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...

If 550 to 685 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I hear 'somebody' is planning to 'take care' of Postie Pete...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an order for 2000 cabbages from someone called 'Bryan', claims to be an expert at cabbage tossing...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...
    • Parcel Pete: I've read some interesting things about the West Ardougne General Store, I wouldn't eat the meat pies if I were you...

If 686 to 699 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I hear 'somebody' is planning to 'take care' of Postie Pete...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an order for 2000 cabbages from someone called 'Bryan', claims to be an expert at cabbage tossing...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...

If 700 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • NPC may say any one of the following at random:
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an order for 2000 cabbages from someone called 'Bryan', claims to be an expert at cabbage tossing...
    • Parcel Pete: I saw an undelivered letter for A.R.M.S, warning them of an impending attack by Ninjas...

If 701 to 1,000 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: I'll be taking those...
  • Player gives the coins to Parcel Pete.
  • Parcel Pete: I saw an order for 2000 cabbages from someone called 'Bryan', claims to be an expert at cabbage tossing...

If over 1,000 coins are given[edit | edit source]

  • Parcel Pete: Woah buddy! You trying to get me in trouble or something?