Transcript of Newspaper

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Issue 4[edit | edit source]

King Roald scandal![edit | edit source]

King Roald believed to have been spotted at the Dancing Donkey, disguised as a regular citizen. Bill, a Varrock local claims he saw the King on two separate occasions. The palace has not released a statement on the issue.

In other news[edit | edit source]

Aubury the rune seller turns 21 today. Claims to have been same age for the last 40 years.

Elemental titans considering forming workers union: claiming unfair working hours and duties.

Classifieds[edit | edit source]

Free tours of the Wilderness! Terms and conditions apply: must wear party hat, tour guide cannot be held responsible for personal damage or death.

The General Store! Bargains on pots, jugs, hammers and more! Bargains! Bargains! Bargains! At the general store!

Issue 3[edit | edit source]

Queen comes to Varrock![edit | edit source]

The Queen is visiting Varrock as part of her royal tour to celebrate her Diamond Jubilee! Citizens from far and wide have flocked to the celebrations, as well as dignitaries from other areas of Gielinor. We caught up with Fremennik representative Thok, who remarked, 'Thok smash puny reporter'.

In other news[edit | edit source]

Cleaners out of work! 'It's like everyone has just abandoned us' claims one Varrock street sweeper.

Goblin family celebrates new addition to family. Popped into existence 2 runedays ago.

Classifields[edit | edit source]

Visit Draynor today, that perfect, gloomy holiday atmosphere!

Balthazar's Big Top Bonanza! In town sometimes!

Issue 1[edit | edit source]

Varrock gets Makeover[edit | edit source]

The city of Varrock is the latest recipient of a complete makeover. When interviewed, King Roald said, 'In order to keep visitors coming to see the sights of our beautiful capital, we felt that tidying-up the city would be more effective than just issuing a decree - make sure you visit the new museum while you are here.'

Obituaries[edit | edit source]

Goblin-Died
Giant Rat-Died
Unicorn-Died
Varrock Guard-Died
Varrock Guard-Died
Varrock Guard-Died
Bear-Died

Classifieds[edit | edit source]

Lowe's Archery Emporium for the finest ranging weapons in town!

Time to party! Visit the Fancy Dress Shop for all your party outfits.

The Dancing Donkey - cold beer always in stock.