Dialogue for Mysterious Old Man

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  • Mysterious Old Man: You'll do, [Player Name]!
  • Player: Me? I didn't do anything... Erm, I mean, I'll do for what?
  • Mysterious Old Man: Don't worry! I'm not going to abduct you or anything...honest!
  • Mysterious Old Man: Nor will any of my other random friends!
  • Select an option
    • Tell me about yourself.
      • Mysterious Old Man: I'm the Mysterious Old Man! I'm mysterious - wooo!
      • Mysterious Old Man: My parents named me Mysterious Baby Boy, but I never felt it suited me, so I had it changed when I became an adult.
      • Mysterious Old Man: I was adopted, see; they found me abandoned on the steps of this very house
      • Player: Oh, so you've moved back into your parents' old home?
      • Mysterious Old Man: What? No, they never lived here.
      • Player: But you just said-
      • Mysterious Old Man: No, we used to live in that big house opposite the bank.
      • Mysterious Old Man: But now it's owned by some young whippersnapper called the 'Wise Old Man' so I can't enjoy my retirement in full.
      • Player: What did you used to do?
      • Mysterious Old Man: Oh, it was great! I got to travel all around the world abducting people, forcing them to play my games.
      • Player: Abducting people? I'm not sure I know how to talk to you...
    • Ask about his 'random' friends.
      • Mysterious Old Man: You know, if you've been around for a while, you've probably met a lot of them yourself.
      • Mysterious Old Man: But if you're a young whippersnapper like that youngster in my old family home, I guess it won't hurt to mention a few of them.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Let's see, now. Who was there?
      • Mysterious Old Man: First up, there was a beekeeper who needed help building his hives. I hear he's got an apiary over near Catherby now.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Oh, and the noters! Three brothers: Miles, Giles and Niles. I bet they hang out at the Grand Exchange
      • Mysterious Old Man: There was Sergeant Damien. He was a drill instructor in some demon army; how he has a job at the circus.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Next was the Freaky Forester. He tends McGrubor's Wood now. He's a weird one, though - has a 'thing' about pheasants.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Ah, and the frog royals: the prince and princess of the Land of Frogs. They just got married!
      • Mysterious Old Man: The mime has found work in Falador's Party Room. He's not very talkative, but he's a friendly chap.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Old Captain Arnav has retired from his pirating days and bought himself a house in Brimhaven.
      • Mysterious Old Man: The Sandwich Lady had a run-in with the law. Last I heard, she'd set up a stall in Ardougne Market.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Oh, and Leo the gravedigger's also in Ardougne these days - he got a new job at the church there.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Then there's Mr. Mordaut. He has a new job in Varrock Museum. Professor of Unnatural History - very impressive.
      • Mysterious Old Man: The twins - Molly and Moira - are sharing a home in Varrock's slum area.
      • Mysterious Old Man: The pillory guards are now guarding all the pillories - all day, every day.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Poor old Prison Pete had a bit of an episode. He's requested a 'room' in Port Sarim jail.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Phew! There used to be some even older ones, but my mind's not what it used to be.
      • Player: Why, what DID it used to be?
      • Mysterious Old Man: ...
      • Player: Never mind, forget I asked.
    • What's in the trapdoor?
      • Mysterious Old Man: No! Don't even think about going in there. That's off-limits!
      • Player: Whoa, okay. No need to bite my head off. What's in there, anyway?
      • Mysterious Old Man: None of your business.
    • Why mention abductions?
      • Mysterious Old Man: Oh, sorry - you may not know that about me. It's something I used to do in my old job - there were a few of us.
      • Player: You abducted people?
      • Mysterious Old Man: You don't have to say it like that! It wasn't sinister' we provided a valuable service!
      • Mysterious Old Man: We'd give people a little break from whatever it is they were doing, and keep them attentive and active.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Plus, we'd hand out prizes for those who completed our games.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Well, there was one of us who was a bit sinister. He was evil and lazy, and would toy with his victims like a cat with a ball of wool.
      • Mysterious Old Man: I hear you can still summon him, if you say three letters in a sequence.
      • Player: Sounds like an urban myth to me. What letters?
      • Mysterious Old Man: C...
      • Mysterious Old Man: I...
      • Mysterious Old Man: ...
      • Player: And? What's the last letter?
      • Mysterious Old Man: ...
      • Player: Say it!
      • Mysterious Old Man: S!
      • Evil Bob: Meow!
      • Mysterious Old Man: No...what? Nooooo!
      • Player: Well, you don't see that every day!
    • I really must be going.
      • Mysterious Old Man: Don't be a stranger! You'll come back and see me again soon, right? Right?