Transcript of My Arm's Big Adventure journal entry
- Up in the Troll Stronghold, Burntmeat the troll chef wanted me to do something for him. I'd met Burntmeat before. He made me fetch him a tasty humam[sic] to put in his stew. I brought him a sort of scarecrow stuffed with meat. He must have liked it.
- Burntmeat told me about a man he'd recently cooked. He said the man was carrying some goutweed that he claimed to have grown himself. Burntmeat didn't know humans could grow goutweed.
- He told me he'd got an assistant called My Arm! Burntmeat wanted me to teach My Arm to farm. He promised me that if I could teach My Arm to grow goutweed in the Troll Stronghold, he'd never cook another human in his life. It sounded like a tough job, but since I'd apparently got the chance to save countless helpless victims from his cooking pot, I simply had to try it!
- My Arm explained to me that he got such a silly name because he nibbled on his dads arm when he was a baby troll. Trolls are traditionally named after the first thing they try to eat, so his dad named him My Arm. He doesn't think this is a silly name in any way.
- My Arm told me he'd heard of something like a gout tuber being found on Death Plateau. He asked me to go there and search a cooking pot to find it.
- I found a boiled gout tuber just like My Arm said, and brought it back to the Troll Stronghold for him. Then he ate it.
- Now that he'd seen (and tasted) a gout tuber for himself, My Arm was willing to try farming one. He led me up to the roof of the Troll Stronghold to a sort of garden where he'd been trying to grow all kinds of rubbish.
- My Arm wanted to give me a copy of Farmer Gricoller's Farming Manual to read.
- He thought it would tell me how to make my own farming patch I read the book. It said I'd need to treat the soil with camel dung and supercompost if I wanted to make a farming patch in a mountainous region.
- I checked that My Arm was happy for me to go ahead with making him a farming patch out of dung and supercompost. He seemed happy enough with the idea.
- With the aid of a spade, I treated the soil with seven buckets of supercompost and three buckets of camel dung. It smelt pretty awful, but it looked ready to be used as a farming patch.
- Once his farming patch was ready, My Arm demanded that I take him to Karamja to get a gout tuber from Murcaily in Tai Bwo Wannai Village.
- We made our way to Ardougne where I had to 'persuade' Captain Barnaby to take My Arm on his ship. He wasn't very happy about it, but eventually he agreed to accept My Arm and me as passengers.
- The voyage to Brimhaven was terrible! Captain Barnaby wouldn't talk to me at all, and My Arm started feeling seasick.
- As soon as I found him in Brimhaven, My Arm rushed off into the jungle by himself. I found him again just outside Tai Bwo Wannai Village. My Arm told me that Burntmeat was planning to give me some burnt meat as a reward for all my help - this didn't sound good! I told My Arm what I thought of burnt meat as a quest reward, and he said he'd try to think of something better to give me.
- Murcaily got a little confused about arms and things. Apparently he had never seen a troll. Of course, that was about to change.
- According to Murcaily, a normal gout tuber won't grow up a mountain. My Arm would need a special 'hardy gout tuber'. These are very valuable, and Murcaily didn't want to part with any.
- Just as I'd managed to get a hardy gout tuber from Murcaily, My Arm decided to wander into the village to 'hurry things up'. He smashed a bush, disturbed a dangerous spider and a broodoo victim, and hurt the village's fiercest warrior!
- Murcaily was so desperate to make the troll go away that he gave me a nice pile of hardy gout tubers.
- We left Tai Bwo Wannai Village and returned to Ardougne, causing more distress to Captain Barnaby on the way.
- We got attacked by some very strange birds. I had to fight them off.
- With my guidance, My Arm managed to grow a hardy goutweed plant in his patch on top of the Troll Stronghold. I should feel very proud of my pupil.
- I told Burntmeat that I'd managed to teach My Arm to grow goutweed, and he kindly rewarded me with a pile of burnt meat.
- Fortunately, My Arm had a better idea of what a quest reward should be, and he'd created a new farming patch for me to grow herbs in He promised me that it would never get diseased