Dialogue for Hans

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Standard dialogue[edit | edit source]

  • Hans: Hello. What are you doing here?
    • I'm looking for whoever is in charge of this place.
      • Hans: Who, the Duke? He's in his study, on the first floor.
    • I have come to kill everyone in this castle!
      • Hans takes a step back.
      • Hans: Help! Help!
    • I don't know. I'm lost. Where am I?
      • Hans: You are in Lumbridge Castle.
    • I wondered what happened to the castle?
      • (During the Battle of Lumbridge:)
        • Hans: It did take a battering recently. If you've not noticed already, there is a battle going on just outside between Saradomin and Zamorak! Never in all my years did I expect to see this happen to the castle!
      • (Between the Battle of Lumbridge and Lumbridge Rebuildathon:)
        • Hans: It did take a battering recently. Saradomin and Zamorak themselves had a battle just to the west of here. The battle is over now, though. Zamorak was defeated by Saradomin and forced into retreat, severely damaged. Still, never in all my years did I expect to see this happen to the castle!
      • (During the Lumbridge Rebuildathon:)
        • Hans: It did take a battering recently. Saradomin and Zamorak themselves had a battle just to the west of here. The battle is over now, though. Zamorak was defeated by Saradomin and forced into retreat, severely damaged. Now, people from all over the world are coming to help us rebuild! If you'd like to help, speak to Foreman George to the north of the castle.
        • Player: I'll go and have a look then!
      • (After the Lumbridge Rebuildathon:)
        • Hans: It did take a battering recently. Saradomin and Zamorak themselves had a battle just to the west of here! The battle is over now, though. Zamorak was defeated by Saradomin and forced into retreat, severely damaged. Still, never in all my years did I expect to see this happen to the castle!
          • Have you been here as long as me?
            • (As below.)
          • I'll go and have a look then!
            • (Dialogue terminates.)
    • Have you been here as long as me?
      • Hans: I've been patrolling this castle for years, I remember you...
      • Hans: You've spent x days, x hours, x minutes in the world since you arrived x days ago.
      • Player: You must be old then?
      • Hans: Haha, you could say I'm quite the veteran of these lands. Yes, I've been here a fair while...
      • (If the player is not yet eligible for the veteran cape (5 year):)
        • Hans: Sadly you are not eligible for the five-year veteran cape.
      • (If the player is not yet eligible for the veteran cape (10 year):)
        • Hans: Sadly you are not eligible for the ten-year veteran cape.
      • (If the player is not yet eligible for the veteran cape (15 year):)
        • Hans: Sadly you are not eligible for the fifteen-year veteran cape.
        • (If there is more than a year to go:)
          • Hans: It'll be longer than a year for you yet I'm afraid.
          • You will be able to claim the fifteen-year veteran cape from Hans in [X] days.
          • (Continues below.)
        • (If there is less than a year but more than a day to go:)
          • Hans: Not long until you are now too, only [X] days.
          • You will be able to claim the fifteen-year veteran cape from Hans in [X] days.
          • (Continues below.)
        • (If there is a day to go:)
          • Hans: Not long until you are now too, only 1 day!
          • You will be able to claim the fifteen-year veteran cape from Hans tomorrow!
          • (Continues below.)
        • Hans: I do however have a ten-year veteran cape for 100,000 coins and a five-year veteran cape for 50,000 coins.
          • I'll buy the ten-year veteran cape - 100,000 coins
            • (If the player has not bought the cape before:)
              • (Transcript missing. edit)
            • (If the player has bought the cape before:)
              • Hans: You have already purchased a ten-year veteran cape.
              • Are you sure you want to buy another?
                • Yes
                  • Hans passes you the ten-year veteran cape.
                  • Hans passes you the ten-year veteran hood.
                  • Hans: Thanks. Enjoy!
                • No
                  • (Dialogue ends)
          • I'll buy the five-year veteran cape - 50,000 coins
            • (If the player has not bought the cape before:)
              • (Transcript missing. edit)
            • (If the player has bought the cape before:)
              • Hans: You have already purchased a five-year veteran cape.
              • Are you sure you want to buy another?
                • Yes
                  • Hans passes you the five-year veteran cape.
                  • Hans passes you the five-year veteran hood.
                  • Hans: Thanks. Enjoy!
                • No
                  • (Dialogue ends)
          • No thanks.
            • Player: No, thanks.
      • (If the player is eligible for the veteran cape (15 year):)
        • Hans: I can see you have been here for an awfully long time now! Would you be interested in showing off this length of service with one of my capes?
        • Hans: I have a fifteen-year veteran cape for 150,000 coins, a ten-year veteran cape for 100,000 coins or a five-year veteran cape for 50,000 coins.
          • I'll buy the fifteen-year veteran cape - 150,000 coins
            • Hans passes you the fifteen-year veteran cape.
            • Hans passes you the fifteen-year veteran hood.
            • Hans: Thanks. Enjoy!
          • I'll buy the ten-year veteran cape - 100,000 coins
            • (Transcript missing. edit)
          • I'll buy the five-year veteran cape - 50,000 coins
            • (Transcript missing. edit)
          • No thanks.
            • Player: No, thanks.

Plague Doctor[edit | edit source]

If doctor's visit on plague task list is not complete:

  • (If gas mask is not equipped:)
    • Player: If I was wearing a gas mask right now I could pretend to be a doctor and mess with Hans...
    • Hans: What was that?
    • Player: Nothing!
    • (Continues with standard dialogue.)
  • (If gas mask is equipped:)
    • (If on plague task list's first prestige:)
      • Player: Hello Hans! I am the doctor here for your personal checkup.
      • Hans: I didn't call for a doctor... What's your name?
      • Player: Uh... Mantis... Toboggan...
      • Hans: Doctor... Mantis Toboggan?
      • Player: M.D.
      • Hans: Is that you Player? Take off that ridiculous mask!
      • Player: I think I've been caught.
      • You have completed the task - 'Doctor's visit'
      • (Continues with standard dialogue.)
    • (If on plague task list's second prestige or higher:)
      • Player: The doctor is in the house!
      • Hans: Player, we've been through this charade before...
      • You have completed the task - 'Doctor's visit'
      • (Continues with standard dialogue.)

Related to Treasure Trails[edit | edit source]

Snah? I feel all confused, like one of those cakes.

  • Hans: Well done, here you go.
  • Hans has given you another clue scroll.