Transcript of Grand Party

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Contents

Non-miniquest dialogue[edit | edit source]

Event broadcast[edit | edit source]

  • (Shortly after the event's release, occasionally the following news message would be broadcast:)
    • Game announcement.png News: Something fun is about to happen in the Grand Party celebrations at Lumbridge crater in the next 5 minutes.

Logging in for the first time of the day after the beginning of 5 January[edit | edit source]

  • Happy 20th Anniversary! Visit Lumbridge Crater to take part in the RS20 Grand Party celebrations!

Talking to the guard[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Are you the only guard on duty today?
  • Guard: I am, but everyone's behaving and having a great time!
  • Player: I think I saw a highwayman somewhere.
  • Guard: Where!?

Talking to Hans[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I swear I saw you just over there by the castle.
  • Hans: Ah yes, I move rather quick.
  • Player: Scarily quick.
  • Hans: Don't think about it too much.
  • Player: Hm...

Talking to the highwayman in the Lumbridge Crater[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Are you here for the festivies[sic]?
  • Highwayman: Yes.
  • Player: Are you planning on robbing people?
  • Highwayman: No.
  • Player: Should I believe you?
  • Highwayman: No.

Talking to the highwayman in the Port Sarim jail[edit | edit source]

  • Highwayman: I would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids.

Talking to Oziach[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Are you enjoying the party?
  • Oziach: No.
  • Player: What? Why?
  • Oziach: Because you won't stop bothering me.
  • Player: I guess I'll be off then.

Talking to the sandwich lady[edit | edit source]

  • Sandwich lady: It feels so wonderful to be out roaming the world again.
  • Player: It's great you see you Sandwich Lady![sic]

Talking to Thok[edit | edit source]

  • Thok: Thok is having a wonderful time at this party!
  • Player: Glad to hear it!
  • Thok: When does the killing begin?
  • Player: Killing?
  • Thok: Are we not here to slay the mighty dragon and feast upon its delicious giblets?
  • Player: Uhhh, Thok, that's not a real dragon?
  • Thok: No Player, that is what it wants Thok to think. Oziach has told Thok to watch it carefully and lie in wait for the opportunity to taste Thok's axe.
  • Player: I think he was maybe trying to get rid of you.
  • Thok: Why would he want to get rid of Thok?
  • Player: Don't worry about it. Good luck with the dragon.

Talking to Wise Old Man[edit | edit source]

Initially[edit | edit source]

  • Wise Old Man: Player! Welcome to the Grand Party!
  • Player: Thank you Wise Old Man.
  • Wise Old Man: No, thank you Player. None of this would have been possible without you and your support, all of us here in Gielinor want to extend a special thanks to you.
  • Player: You're making me blush.
  • Wise Old Man: Please enjoy the festivities and as a little extra we all chipped in and got you something.
  • Player: Awww, you didn't have to.
  • Wise Old Man: I hope you wear them with pride!
  • Player: Thank you!
  • You have unlocked the 20th Anniversary Outfit and Cape Overrides. You can find them in the wardrobe.
  • (Continues below)

Every time afterwards[edit | edit source]

  • Select an option
    • Do you have any quests for me?
      • Player: Do you have any quests for me?
      • (Without having helped with baking the cake:)
        • Wise Old Man: Personally, no, I have nothing for you to do. However, I would talk to the Cook. I believe he's looking to create an improved version of the Anniversary cake.
        • Player: Sounds delicious! I'll go have a chat with him.
        • (Shows previous options)
      • (Having helped with baking the cake:)
        • Wise Old Man: I hear you managed to help out the cook! I hope you enjoy that delicious looking cake.
        • (Shows previous options)
    • What are anniversary weeks?
      • Player: What are Anniversary weeks?
      • Wise Old Man: Every week we will be celebrating a different aspect of RuneScape! There will be various buffs and benefits for the themed weeks. If you head over to the portal you can find out more information about what's happening this week!
      • Player: Thank you.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • I lost my invitation.
      • Player: I have lost my invitation.
      • (If the invitation is in the player's backpack:)
        • Wise Old Man: No you haven't, it's right there in your inventory.
        • Player: Oh, so it is. Thank you!
        • (Shows previous options)
      • (If the invitation is in the player's bank:)
        • Wise Old Man: Hmmm, have you checked your bank, it's probably in there.
        • Player: Oh yeah, that's where I put it, thank you!
        • (Shows previous options)
      • (If the player doesn't own one:)
        • (Without space in backpack:)
          • Wise Old Man: You sadly do not have space for this in your inventory.
          • Player: Ah, sorry, I'll get right on that.
          • (Shows previous options)
        • (With space in backpack:)
          • Wise Old Man: No worries, you can have one of the spares.
          • Player receives 20th anniversary invitation.
          • Player: Thank you!
          • Player: Why does it already have my name on it?
          • Player: Do you have spares for everyone?
          • Wise Old Man: No, just for you.
          • Player: Hey!
          • Wise Old Man: Who's the one who lost their invitation?
          • Player: Okay, fine...
          • (Shows previous options)
    • Goodbye.
      • Player: Bye!
      • Wise Old Man: Goodbye Player.

Talking to Yanni Salika[edit | edit source]

  • Yanni Salika: Look at all these people! There's so much potential for small favours.
  • Player: Rather them than me.
  • Yanni Salika: Actually...
  • Player: I'm out!

Celebration of Quests[edit | edit source]

When talking to May[edit | edit source]

  • May: Greetings World Guardian! What can I do for you today?
  • Player: What brings you here today?
  • May: Well, it's the Grand Party and this week is the Celebration of Quests! I've come to advertise my services mostly, but also to give a shout-out or two to worthy adventurers!

May noticing a new player[edit | edit source]

  • (Each minute May has a chance to exclaim the following with a random player's name found in the area:)
    • May: A few new adventurers around I see! Exciting!
    • (This is repeated in the chat box:)
      • May: A few new adventurers around I see! Exciting!

May noticing an experienced, non-World Guardian player[edit | edit source]

  • (Each minute May has a chance to exclaim the following with a random player's name found in the area:)
    • May: Player is certainly gaining in notoriety...
    • (This is repeated in the chat box:)
      • May: Player is certainly gaining in notoriety...

May noticing a World Guardian[edit | edit source]

  • (Each minute May has a chance to exclaim the following with a random player's name found in the area:)
    • May: Wow! It's World Guardian Player!
    • (This is repeated in the chat box:)
      • May: Wow! It's World Guardian Player!

Celebration of Combat[edit | edit source]

Reclaiming items from Death after dying[edit | edit source]

  • During the Celebration of Combat, your items are returned for free. Death may not be so charitable in the future, so enter dangerous situations at your own risk.
  • The items are reclaimed at no cost.

Luck item activating[edit | edit source]

Ring of fortune[edit | edit source]
  • Your ring of fortune shines and you receive: [number] x [Item] (Celebration of Combat bonus).

Talking to Ariane[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Isn't it dangerous to be bringing huge monsters to Lumbridge?
  • Ariane: Worry not, they're simply illusions.
  • Player: Illusions? Why?
  • Ariane: It's the Celebration of Combat during the Grand Party! We shall recognise past victories over great foes!
  • Ariane: These golems will give you a gigantic dose of elder overload, give them a whack!

Talking to Sir Owen[edit | edit source]

  • Sir Owen: Don't look at me, this wasn't my idea.

Celebration of Minigames[edit | edit source]

Talking to Brassica Prime[edit | edit source]

  • Brassica Prime: Hello there young sprout! Did you know that all minigames across Gielinor are giving away double prizes as a part of the Grand Party!?
  • Select an option
    • I love minigames! Thank you!
      • Brassica Prime: Well then friend, enjoy yourself!
    • Excellent, I have some I need to catch up on.
      • Brassica Prime: Well then friend, enjoy yourself!
    • That's nice.
      • (Dialogue ends)

Gilly Willikers[edit | edit source]

Before the noon of 18 January 2021[edit | edit source]
Talk to[edit | edit source]
  • Gilly Willikers: I'm Mr. G. Willikers the Clown! I'm a joke... Honk Honk!
Claim clue[edit | edit source]
  • Gilly Willikers: I have nothing to give away right now... Except maybe a laugh. Honk Honk!
After the noon of 18 January 2021[edit | edit source]
Talk to[edit | edit source]
  • SELECT AN OPTION
    • Who are you?
      • Gilly Willikers: I'm Mr. G. Willikers the Clown! I work for Balthazar Beauregard as part of his Big Top Bonanza. Honk honk.
      • Gilly Willikers: It's the Celebration of all things Minigames and I've been given these clue scrolls to hand out! Honk honk.
      • Player: They're free?
      • Gilly Willikers: Honk! Yep! Do you want one?
      • (If the daily clue hasn't been claimed yet:)
        • Gilly gives you the clue scroll.
        • Gilly Willikers: Enjoy! Honk honk.
      • (If the daily clue has already been claimed:)
        • Gilly Willikers: Oh, it seems you have already been given a clue scroll today. Sorry. Honk honk.
    • I'd like to claim my clue scroll please.
      • (If the daily clue hasn't been claimed yet:)
        • Gilly gives you the clue scroll.
        • Gilly Willikers: Enjoy! Honk honk.
      • (If the daily clue has already been claimed:)
        • Gilly Willikers: Oh, it seems you have already been given a clue scroll today. Sorry. Honk honk.
    • Goodbye.
      • (Dialogue ends)
Claim clue[edit | edit source]
  • (If the daily clue hasn't been claimed yet:)
    • Gilly gives you the clue scroll.
    • Gilly Willikers: Enjoy! Honk honk.
  • (If the daily clue has already been claimed:)
    • Gilly Willikers: Oh, it seems you have already been given a clue scroll today. Sorry. Honk honk.

Baking a cake[edit | edit source]

Talking to the cook[edit | edit source]

  • What do you want to talk about?
    • Baking a cake.
      • (Before agreeing to help:)
        • (If the player has completed Cook's Assistant:)
          • Cook: How would you like to assist me with a cake?
          • Player: Again? What's in it for me?
          • Cook: Cake.
          • Help with the cake?
            • Yes.
              • Player: I'm in.
              • Cook: Thank you! Please take this ingredient list, you can use it to keep track of any progress towards getting ingredients.
              • Player receives the 20th Anniversary cake ingredients.
            • No.
              • Cook: Why do you hate cake?
              • Player: I think I may be a monster.
        • (If the player has not completed Cook's Assistant:)
          • Cook: Before we do anything here I have a quest for you to do in Lumbridge castle.
          • You must have completed Cook's Assistant before starting this miniquest.
      • (After agreeing to help:)
        • (If the 20th Anniversary cake ingredients has been lost:)
          • Player: I lost my ingredients list.
          • (Without space in backpack:)
            • Player: Sorry, I need to clear some space in my inventory.
          • (With space in backpack:)
        • (If the 20th Anniversary cake ingredients hasn't been lost:)
          • Cook: How's the cake going?
          • Player: I'm working on it.
          • Cook: Remember to check your ingredients list if you need any assistance!
    • Do you have any rewards for me?
      • Player: Do you have any rewards for me?
      • (Having lost the cake:)
        • Cook: I see you no longer have your cake. Have another piece!
        • (Without space in backpack:)
          • Cook: Please make some more space in your inventory.
          • (Continues below)
        • (With space in backpack:)
      • (The following is repeated for each remaining lamp for which there is space in backpack, then continues below:)
      • (With more rewards to claim:)
        • Cook: You have [number] more reward[s] to claim, please make space in your inventory!
      • (If the player is an ironman:)
        • Cook: Ironmen cannot receive additional lamp rewards.
        • (Continues below)
      • (Without rewards to claim:)
        • Cook: You have claimed all the rewards available to you right now.

Reading the ingredients[edit | edit source]

  • Which ingredient would you like to hear about?
    • Extra, extra fine flour.
      • (Before talking to Millie:)
        • I once got extra fine flour from Millie in the mill just north of Lumbridge Crater.
      • (After talking to Millie but before talking to Father Aereck:)
        • Millie says I should ask Father Aereck in the Lumbridge Church about getting some extra, extra, fine flour.
      • (After talking to Father Aereck but before talking to restless ghost:)
        • Father Aereck suggested I check the coffin outside for the extra, extra, fine flour.
      • (After talking to restless ghost but before searching the rocks:)
        • I need to find another head for the Restful Ghost[sic] in Lumbridge Cemetery.
      • (After searching the rocks but before receiving the skull:)
        • I should talk to Father Urhney to see if he has a spare skull.
      • (After receiving the skull but before receiving the flour:)
        • I should take this skull to the Restful Ghost[sic] in Lumbridge Cemetery.
      • (After receiving the flour:)
        • I have got the extra, extra fine flour I need.
    • Top quality milk.
      • (Before attempting to milk the prized dairy cow:)
        • I once got Top quality milk from the prized dairy cow near Lumbridge.
      • (After attempting to milk the prized dairy cow but before talking to Yanni Salika:)
        • I should ask Yanni Salika at the Lumbridge Crater party if he is willing to part with his Top quality milk.
      • (After talking to Yanni Salika but before talking to Hans:)
        • I need to talk to Hans about getting Red mahogany logs for Yanni so he will give me the milk.
      • (After talking to Hans but before talking to Thok:)
        • I need to talk to Thok about getting Hans' rock back so I can get Red mahogany logs for Yanni so he will give me the milk.
      • (After talking to Thok but before receiving the sandwich:)
        • I need to talk to the Sandwich lady to get a sandwich to give to Thok to get Hans' rock back so I can get Red mahogany logs for Yanni so he will give me the milk.
      • (After receiving the sandwich but before receiving the rock:)
        • I need to take the sandwich to Thok to get Hans' rock back so I can get Red mahogany logs for Yanni so he will give me the milk.
      • (After receiving the rock but before receiving the logs:)
        • I need to take Hans' rock back so I can get Red mahogany logs for Yanni so he will give me the milk.
      • (After receiving the logs but before receiving the milk:)
        • I need to take these Red mahogany logs for Yanni so he will give me the milk.
      • (After receiving the top quality milk:)
        • Yanni gave me the milk.
    • Colossal egg.
      • (Before talking to Fred:)
        • I once got an egg from the chicken farm in Lumbridge. I should visit Fred the Farmer.
      • (After talking to Fred but before talking to Oziach:)
        • I should ask Oziach if he knows anything about a dragon with a huge egg.
      • (After talking to Oziach but before talking to Duke Horacio:)
        • I should ask Duke Horacio if he has anything to help me deal with the dragon.
      • (After talking to Duke Horacio but before talking to Oracle:)
        • I should speak to the Oracle on Ice Mountain for hints on where to find a map.
      • (After talking to Oracle but before giving the items to Eli:)
        • I need to solve the Oracle's riddle.
      • (After giving the items to Eli but before talking to the highwayman:)
        • I should check the Port Sarim jail to see if I can find the highwayman who stole the map.
      • (After talking to the highwayman but before receiving the colossal egg:)
        • I need to solve the anagram to figure out where the dragon is.
      • (After receiving the colossal egg:)
        • I have received the colossal egg from Mr Mordaut.
    • Nothing.
      • (Dialogue ends)

Getting extra, extra fine flour[edit | edit source]

Talking to Millie Miller[edit | edit source]

  • Millie Miller: Hello, adventurer. Welcome to Mill Lane Mill. Can I help you?
  • Player: Hey Millie, I wonder if you can help me?
  • Millie Miller: Let me guess, you need some more extra fine flour?
  • Player: Actually, I'm in need of some extra, extra, fine flour.
  • Millie Miller: Woah! Not so loud.
  • Player: Excuse me?
  • Millie Miller: Ah yes! Extra fine flour! We can do that for you!
  • Player: But I asked for extra, extr-
  • Millie Miller: Shhh! Look, we aren't able to make that stuff anymore.
  • Player: How come?
  • Millie Miller: It's a rabbit hole that leads to dangerous places.
  • Player: What do you mean?
  • Millie Miller: Well, first you're milling extra, extra fine flour. Then where do you go from there? Extra, extra, extra fine flour. Someday that won't be enough and you'll start milling extra, extra, extra, extra fine flour. And then y-
  • Player: Okay! I get it. What am I going to do about getting the flour for the cook?
  • Millie Miller: Hmmm, you should talk to Father Aereck in the Lumbridge church. It was a while ago but he picked up the last batch we ever produced. He doesn't seem like the baking type so I'm not sure what he was using it for. If you're lucky he might still have some left.
  • Player: Okay, I'll go see what Father Aereck has to say! Thank you!
  • Millie Miller: Take care, Player.

Talking to Father Aereck[edit | edit source]

  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Extra, extra fine flour.
      • Player: Father Aereck, I have a question for you.
      • Father Aereck: Of course, how can I help you?
      • Player: I heard from Millie that at some point she gave you some extra, extra fine flour?
      • Father Aereck: Oh my yes, that was some time ago.
      • Player: I take it you've already used it then?
      • Father Aereck: Sadly I have.
      • Player: Darn.
      • Father Aereck: Although... you might be able to salvage it.
      • Player: Salvage it?
      • Father Aereck: Yes, I didn't bake it into a cake or anything like that. I was having trouble with that restless ghost in the graveyard and was willing to try anything to stop it.
      • Player: Okay...
      • Father Aereck: I thought that maybe I would be able to perform an exorcism with some high quality flour which I had blessed. But as I'm sure you're aware, it didn't work.
      • Player: Why would you use flour in an exorcism?
      • Father Aereck: Aren't you supposed to use flour in an exorcism?
      • Player: No, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to use salt.
      • Father Aereck: Salt?
      • Player: Yep.
      • Father Aereck: ... I knew I should have paid more attention during exorcism training. Father Urhney's the one with the real knack for the ghostly stuff.
      • Player: Yeah... So about that flour?
      • Father Aereck: Ah yes, it should still be in the coffin in the graveyard, feel free to grab it, it's not like the ghost is using it.
      • Player: This feels kind of wrong, but I'm a little desperate so I'll go check it out. Thanks Father Aereck!
      • Father Aereck: No problem!
    • General chat.
      • (Non-event dialogue.)

Restless ghost[edit | edit source]

Searching the coffin[edit | edit source]
  • What would you like to do?
    • Search for flour.
      • (Before agreeing to help:)
      • (After agreeing to help but before searching the rocks:)
      • (After searching the rocks:)
        • There is nothing to do here right now.
    • Search the coffin.
      • (Non-event dialogue.)
Talking to the restless ghost[edit | edit source]
Initially[edit | edit source]
  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Extra fine flour.
      • Restful ghost: Please don't take my head away again.
      • Player: Oh, sorry, I'm not going to take your head. I just want the flour.
      • Restful ghost: No, you want my head. I need that for stuff.
      • Player: I really just want the flour, I promise I'll leave your head alone.
      • Restful ghost: I can't let you do this.
      • Player: Hmmm... What if I got you a spare head in exchange for the flour? That way, even if I did try and take your head, which I'm not going to do, you'd have another one spare.
      • Restful ghost: This would be an acceptable trade.
      • Player: Perfect! I'll be right back with another head.
      • Player: ...
      • Player: Why did I say I'd get him another head... Where am I supposed to find one of those? I guess I could check the Lumbridge Swamp near the mining site where I found his last one.
    • General Chat
      • (Non-event dialogue.)
Afterwards[edit | edit source]
  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Extra fine flour.
      • Restful ghost: Did you find another head?
      • Player: No yet, but I'll keep looking. I should check the big rock in Lumbridge Swamp near the mining site.
    • General Chat
      • (Non-event dialogue.)

Searching the rocks[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Alright, let's see... Dig dig dig... A pile of bones! What do we have here? A femur. Three ribs. A finger... At least I hope this is a finger. ... Definitely a finger. But no skulls. Maybe Father Urhney would know where I could find a spare skull.

Talking to Father Urhney[edit | edit source]

  • Father Urhney: Go away! I'm meditating!
  • For what reason do you wish to disturb his mediatation[sic]?
    • Talk about a spare skull.
      • (Before obtaining the skull:)
        • Player: Father Urhney, you're into spooky things right?[sic]
        • Father Urhney: What do you want?
        • Player: I was just wondering if you had a Spare Skull that you'd be willing to give me?
        • Father Urhney: Oh yes, Father Urhney is a strange man living alone in the swamps. I'm sure he's the kind of man who just happens to have a 'Spare Skull' lying around. What kind of priest do you take me for?
        • Player: There's no need to be rude. So... do you have one?
        • Father Urhney: Yes, I do, now take it and get out of my sight so I can get back to meditating.
        • Player: Thank you Father Urhney.
        • Father Urhney: *Grumble*
        • Player receives Father Urhney's spare skull.
      • (Having lost the skull:)
        • Player: Father Urhney, I lost my skull.
        • Father Urhney: You'd lose your head if it wasn't attached to your neck!
        • Player: Technically, this is exactly what happened.
        • Father Urhney: Fine! Take this and let me get back to meditating.
        • (Without space in backpack:)
          • Player: I have no inventory space.
          • Father Urhney: *Grumble*
          • Player: I'll sort that out for you.
          • (Continues below)
        • (With space in backpack:)
          • Player: Thank you.
          • Player receives Father Urhney's spare skull.
          • (Continues below)
      • Father Urhney: I already gave you a spare skull!
    • General Chat.
      • (Non-event dialogue.)

Talking to Father Urhney's spare skull[edit | edit source]

  • (Random one of the following is seen and then continues below:)
    • Player: As a child I was taught there is a brain in my skull. Now I can't get it out of my head!
    • Player: Steal everyone's eyelids and no one bats an eye. Remove their brain from their skulls and everyone loses their mind.
    • Player: Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
  • The skull does not respond.

Returning to the restless ghost[edit | edit source]

Searching the coffin[edit | edit source]
Talking to the restless ghost[edit | edit source]
  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Extra fine flour.
      • (Before getting the flour, without the skull:)
        • Player: Hey, I brought you another head.
        • Restful ghost: Where is it?
        • Player: ...
        • Player: I lost it.
        • Player: I'll be right back.
      • (Before getting the flour, with the skull:)
        • Player: Hey, I brought you another head.
        • Restful ghost: Thank you. You are very kind.
        • Player: Happy to help, can I have the flour now?
        • Restful ghost: Yes, take all the flour you need.
        • Attempt to steal his head?
          • Yes, I am in fact a monster.
            • You rip the head from the skeleton's body.
            • Player: Aha! You have been fooled! I now have your head! Muahahahahaha!
            • Restful ghost: ...
            • Player: ...
            • Restful ghost: I think you'll find I still have the flour you need.
            • Player: ... You're right. Would you trade the flour for 2 heads?
            • Restful ghost: Very well.
            • You place the 2 heads back in the coffin and gather the flour you need.
            • (Continues below)
          • No, of course not.
            • You place the head in the coffin and gather the flour you need.
            • (Continues below)
        • Player receives extra, extra fine flour.
        • (Without space in backpack:)
          • You earned a lamp for completing this miniquest. You can claim it later from the cook at the party.
          • (Continues below)
        • (With space in backpack:)
          • You receive Large prismatic lamp.
          • (Continues below)
        • Player: Thank you.
        • Restful ghost: Enjoy your flour.
        • Player: Thanks! Enjoy your heads!
        • Restful ghost: Oh, I will...
      • (After getting the flour:)
        • (Having lost the flour:)
          • Player: Just going to grab some extra flour.
          • (Without space in backpack:)
            • Player: Ah, I have no inventory space.
          • (With space in backpack:)
            • Player receives extra, extra fine flour.
        • (Not having lost the flour:)
          • Player: I should leave him alone.
    • General Chat
      • (Non-event dialogue.)

Getting top quality milk[edit | edit source]

Trying to milk the prized dairy cow[edit | edit source]

  • Gillie Groats: Hey! You, what do you think you're doing!?
  • Player: Oh hey, I'm just getting some Top quality milk from the cow here, I won't be a minute.
  • Gillie Groats: No! Stop, right now!
  • Player walks towards Gillie Groats.
  • Gillie Groats: Day after day for the past 20 years, adventurers have been coming in and taking her milk. And even more recently you adventurers have been showing up in the thousands and milking her dry. The poor girl can't take any more so we've been only allowing one person a day to grab a bucket.
  • Player: I'm really sorry to hear that.
  • Gillie Groats: Look, I didn't mean to get cross with you, today's bucket has already been claimed but you can milk any of the other cows til you heart's content.
  • Player: I appreciate the offer, but I really need some Top quality milk and your prized dairy cow is the only place I know to get it.
  • Gillie Groats: Hmmm... I think your best bet is to find the person who got the bucket of milk this morning and hope they haven't already used it.
  • Player: Can you tell me anything about them?
  • Gillie Groats: Let me think. Ah! Yes, he was on his way to the party in Lumbridge crater, I think his name was Yanni Salika.
  • Player: Oh. Dear. Gods.
  • Gillie Groats: Friend of yours?
  • Player: Something like that.
  • Gillie Groats: As I said if you check the Lumbridge crater party you should be able to find him there.
  • Player: I guess I'll go have a look.
  • Gillie Groats: Good luck!

Talking to Yanni Salika[edit | edit source]

  • Yanni Salika: Greetings, bwana!
  • Player: Hey Yanni. Listen, I hear you got some Top quality milk this morning from Gillie's prized cow. I really need it to help create a special anniversary cake, would you be willing to part with it?
  • Yanni Salika: Ah, but of course, I am a generous man am I not? I'd be happy to give it to you in exchange for -
  • Player: Don't say it!
  • Yanni Salika: O-
  • Player: NO!
  • Yanni Salika: One.
  • Player: STOP!
  • Yanni Salika: ... A single, tiny act of assistance.
  • Player: *grumble* Fine, what is it?
  • Yanni Salika: It's nice and simple, I lent some Red mahogany logs to Hans over there, I'd go and ask him myself, but I've already asked him about them recently and it's getting pretty awkward. Could you get them back for me?
  • Player: Sure, hopefully I'll be right back.
  • Yanni Salika: Take your time.
Talking to Yanni Salika again without the logs[edit | edit source]
  • Yanni Salika: Have you got my logs back yet?

Talking to Hans[edit | edit source]

  • Hans: Hey Player, how can I help?
  • Player: Please tell me you have Yanni's red mahogany logs.
  • Hans: I do indeed!
  • Player: Fantastic! Well, he asked me to bring it back to him, so would you be able to give them to me?
  • Hans: I would love to but...
  • Player: Please no. Not like this.
  • Hans: I only borrowed it because Thok has my rock, if you could get it back from Thok I'd be happy to hand it over.
  • Player: What were you using the logs and rock for?
  • Hans: Paperweights of course.
  • Player: Couldn't you have just used a different rock rather than Yanni's special Red mahogany logs?
  • Hans: Don't be silly. Only the finest of rocks and mahogany logs can be used to weigh down my papers. If a gust of wind were to blow in and scatter them each and every which way there's a chance someone could miss out on their veteran cape. Could you live with those consequences?
  • Player: ... I'll be right back with your rock...
Talking to Hans again without the rock[edit | edit source]
  • Hans: Have you got my rock back yet?

Talking to Thok[edit | edit source]

  • Player: This is ridiculous, I'm going to be at this all day. Thok!
  • Thok: Player!
  • Player: Rock!
  • Thok: Rock?
  • Player: Rock!
  • Thok: Sandwich!
  • Player: Rock?
  • Thok: Sandwich.
  • Player: Maybe the sandwich lady will be able to help me.
Talking to Thok again without a sandwich[edit | edit source]
  • Thok: Sandwich?

Talking to the sandwich lady[edit | edit source]

Before getting a sandwich[edit | edit source]
  • Player: Sandwich lady...
  • Sandwich lady: Is something the matter, dearie?
  • Player: What do I need to do for you to give me a sandwich?
  • (Without space in backpack:)
    • Sandwich lady: Inventory space would be a good start.
    • Player: Oh.
  • (With space in backpack:)
    • Player: A light puzzle in the temple of light without a guide? Hunt down an evil slug queen only to have her anticlimactically squished by a conveniently placed pillar? Elemental Workshop V?
    • Sandwich lady: Why of course not.
    • Player: Huh?
    • Sandwich lady: This is a party, the sandwiches are free my dear.
    • Player: They are?
    • Sandwich lady: They are indeed.
    • Player: That's fantastic!
    • Sandwich lady: I'm glad you think so, but don't take more than one. I've made just enough for everyone so no one can be taking seconds. Thok over there has been trying to pilfer another sandwich all day, I'm not having it!
    • Player: Yes, I will enjoy this sandwich and not give it to Thok.
    • Sandwich lady: Right...
    • You receive a sandwich.
    • Player receives a square sandwich..
With a sandwich[edit | edit source]
  • Sandwich lady: You should do whatever you're planning to do with that sandwich.
  • Player: Ah, yes, I should bring it to Thok.
  • Sandwich lady: Excuse me!?
  • Player: I mean, I should eat it! Well, I'll be off.
After losing a sandwich[edit | edit source]
  • Player: I lost my sandwich.
  • Sandwich lady: Are you sure you didn't eat it?
  • Player receives a square sandwich..
  • Player: Nope... I just threw it away.
  • Sandwich lady: You did what!?
  • Player: I mean, it was stolen, by highwaymen.
  • Sandwich lady: Fine take another, but I hope you know this means someone doesn't get one now.
  • Player: I'll be more careful this time.

Eating the sandwich[edit | edit source]

  • You should not eat this because you are going to give it to Thok.
  • Eat it anyway?
    • Yes.
      • The sandwich was delicious. But now you need to go get another one from the sandwich lady.
    • No.
      • Your stomach rumbles.

Talking to Thok again[edit | edit source]

First time[edit | edit source]
  • Thok: Sandwich?
  • Player: Sandwich!
  • Thok: Rock!
  • Player: Rock!
  • You exchange the sandwich for a rock.
  • Player gives Thok the square sandwich and receives his big rock.
Afterwards[edit | edit source]
Having lost the rock[edit | edit source]
  • Player: Rock.
  • (Without space in backpack:)
    • Thok: Space!
    • Player: Whoops!
  • (With space in backpack:)
    • Thok: Rock!
    • Player receives his big rock.
    • Player: Rock!
Without having lost the rock[edit | edit source]
  • Thok: Good sandwich!
  • Player: Good rock!

Eating the big rock[edit | edit source]

  • You should not eat this because it is a rock.
  • Eat it anyway?
    • Yes.
      • Why?
    • No.
      • Your body thanks you.

Talking to Hans again[edit | edit source]

First time[edit | edit source]
  • Hans: Have you got my rock back yet?
  • Player: Yes! It's right here!
  • Hans: Oh thank you Player. I knew I could rely on you. You better get this back to Yanni.
  • Player: I'm on it.
  • You exchange the rock for red mahogany logs.
  • Player gives Hans the big rock and receives red mahogany.
Afterwards[edit | edit source]
Having lost the logs[edit | edit source]
  • Player: I lost the Red mahogany logs.
  • (Without space in backpack:)
    • Hans: You sadly do not have space for this in your inventory.
    • Player: Ah, sorry, I'll get right on that.
  • (With space in backpack:)
    • Hans: Don't worry, I found them!
    • Player receives red mahogany.
    • Player: Where!?
    • Hans: Exactly where you left them.
    • Player: Oh yeah, I don't know why I didn't look there.
With the logs[edit | edit source]
  • Hans: You should take those Red mahogany logs back to Yanni.
  • Player: I should.
  • Hans: But will you?
  • Player: Probably.

Reminiscing about the red mahogany[edit | edit source]

  • You try to recall the pleasant memories of doing favours for Yanni Salika. But there are none.

Talking to Yanni Salika again[edit | edit source]

First time[edit | edit source]
  • Yanni Salika: Have you got my logs back yet?
  • Player: Yes! They're right here!
  • Yanni Salika: See, that was nice and simple. Doesn't it feel good to do favours for others?
  • Player: Yeah, it's not that bad Yanni.
  • Yanni Salika: Now that I have you here again, how would you feel doing another sma-
  • Player: Goodbye.
  • You exchange the red mahogany logs for the Top quality milk.
  • Player gives Yanni the red mahogany and receives top quality milk.
  • (Without space in backpack:)
    • You earned a lamp for completing this miniquest. You can claim it later from the cook at the party.
  • (With space in backpack:)
    • You receive Large prismatic lamp.
Afterwards[edit | edit source]
With top quality milk[edit | edit source]
  • Yanni Salika: You should take that milk to the cook before it goes off.
  • Player: I will, thanks Yanni.
Having lost the top quality milk[edit | edit source]
  • Player: I lost the milk.
  • (Without space in backpack:)
    • Yanni Salika: You sadly do not have space for this in your inventory.
    • Player: Ah, sorry, I'll get right on that.
  • (With space in backpack:)
    • Yanni Salika: I'd be happy to give you more for another small favour.
    • Player: Please don't do this to me Yanni.
    • Yanni Salika: Just kidding, here you go.
    • Player: You wound me deeply.
    • Player receives top quality milk.

Drinking the top quality milk[edit | edit source]

  • Drinking this could result in you having to do another small favour for Yanni Salika.
  • Drink the milk?
    • Yes.
      • The milk tastes of regret.
    • No.
      • This is a wise choice.

Getting a colossal egg[edit | edit source]

Talking to Farmer Fred[edit | edit source]

  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Colossal Egg.
      • Player: Hey Fred, I'm wondering if you can help me?
      • Farmer Fred: Why of course, what do you need?
      • Player: Well, I'm looking for an egg.
      • Farmer Fred: I'll tell you now you've come to the right place we have eggs a plenty![sic]
      • Player: Do you have any big eggs?
      • Farmer Fred: How big we talking here? This sort of size?
      • Fred the Farmer holds his thumb and index finger a small distance apart.
      • Player: Bigger.
      • Fred the Farmer holds his thumb and index finger a further distance apart.
      • Player: Bigger.
      • Fred the Farmer holds his thumb and index finger so far apart that you can see veins of his forehead bulging.
      • Player: Bigger.
      • Farmer Fred: My hands can't stretch any further than this!
      • Player: Awww.
      • Farmer Fred: It sounds like you're looking to find yourself one of those colossal eggs. But I'm afraid I have no eggs of that size.
      • Player: That's a real shame.
      • Farmer Fred: Though saying that.. I've heard rumours of an egg belonging to a dragon that should meet your needs.
      • Player: Hmmm, dragons you say? I wonder if Oziach would know anything?
      • Farmer Fred: That's a good shout! If you're looking for Oziach I heard he was going to the party in the crater.
      • Player: Thanks! I'll look for him there.
    • General chat.
      • (Non-event dialogue.)

Talking to Oziach[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hey Oziach, do you happen to know anything about a dragon that has a colossal egg?
  • Oziach: Maybe. Who wants to know?
  • Player: Me?
  • Oziach: No, go away.
  • Player: Aw come on Oziach, it'll be like old times.
  • Oziach: If I tell you will you leave me alone?
  • Player: More than likely.
  • Oziach: Alright, fine. There's a dragon out there and if you deal with him, you'll get your egg. But you're going to need to be prepared, go have a word with Duke Horacio, he'll sort you out with what you need.
  • Player: Thanks Oziach. I'll let you know how it goes!
  • Oziach: Please don't.

Talking to Duke Horacio[edit | edit source]

First time[edit | edit source]
  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Dealing with a dragon.
      • Player: Hey Duke Horacio.
      • Duke Horacio: How can I help you?
      • Player: I have a certain dragon to deal with and I've heard that you're the person to talk to about preparation?
      • Duke Horacio: Oh yes! Yes I am. I have just the equipment you need!
      • Player: Oh boy, is it some sort of extremely fancy dragonfire shield?
      • Duke Horacio: What? No, no, here you go.
      • (Without space in backpack:)
        • Player: Sorry I need to clear some space in my inventory.
      • (With space in backpack:)
        • Duke Horacio hands you a frying pan.
        • Player: A frying pan?
        • Duke Horacio: Yes, this is exactly what you need to deal with the dragon.
        • Player: How is this going to help!?
        • Duke Horacio: You have to trust me on this one, you're not getting what you want without that trusty frying pan. Now, be on your way, I have lots to do, especially with this party happening in the crater nearby. I wonder what I should wear?
        • Player: Can you at least tell me where the dragon is?
        • Duke Horacio: I'm not sure, why don't you go talk to the Oracle on Ice Mountain. I know if I've lost something that's where I send people to ask her for me.
        • Player: Alright I'll go chat to the Oracle. Thanks for the frying pan I guess.
        • Duke Horacio: Be safe!
        • Player receives a Frying pan.
    • General chat.
      • (Non-event dialogue.)
Afterwards[edit | edit source]
  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Dealing with a dragon.
      • (Having lost the frying pan:)
        • Player: I lost my frying pan.
        • (Without space in backpack:)
          • Player: Sorry I need to clear some space in my inventory.
        • (With space in backpack:)
          • Duke Horacio: Here you go.
          • Player: Thanks!
          • Player receives a Frying pan.
      • (With the frying pan:)
        • Duke Horacio: Have you dealt with the dragon yet?
        • Player: Not yet, I should get on that.
        • Duke Horacio: Yes, yes you should.
    • General chat.
      • (Non-event dialogue.)

Holding the frying pan above head[edit | edit source]

  • You hold the frying pan above your head and imagine it is protecting you from the rain.

Talking to the Oracle[edit | edit source]

First time[edit | edit source]
  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Dealing with a dragon.
      • Player: I'm in search of a colossal egg and have been told I need to deal with a dragon. Can you point me in the right direction?
      • Oracle: The man you seek lives on a farm. Full of pigs that cause no harm. Bring him things that make him clap. He will provide you with a map. Three shells containing white and yolk. Fruit so red it's not a joke. Two of the vegetables that taste so yuck. They used to censor words like -
      • Player: Woah! Okay, I got it!
    • General chat.
      • (Non-event dialogue.)
Afterwards[edit | edit source]
  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Dealing with a dragon.
    • General chat.
      • (Non-event dialogue.)

Talking to Eli[edit | edit source]

  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Dealing with a dragon.
      • Player: Hey Eli, I believe you're the person I need to find to help me in dealing with my dragon problem?
      • Eli: Yes certainly! Did you bring the goods?
      • Player: I believe so!
        • (Without a tomato:)
          • Eli: You're missing the fruit so red it's not a joke.
          • (Continues below)
        • (With a tomato:)
          • Eli: You've got the tomato.
          • (Continues below)
        • (Without three eggs:)
          • Eli: You're missing the 3 shells filled with yolk and white.
          • (Continues below)
        • (With three eggs:)
          • Eli: You've got the eggs.
          • (Continues below)
        • (Without two cabbages:)
          • Eli: You're missing the 2 yucky vegetables.
          • (Continues below)
        • (With two cabbages:)
          • Eli: And you've got the cabbages.
          • (Continues below)
        • (Without all the items:)
          • Player: Couldn't you be more specific and tell me exactly what you want?
          • Eli: Where's the fun in that?
          • Player: I'll be back later with the stuff.
        • (With all the items:)
          • Eli: Thank you so much!
          • Player: Wait a minute, was this just your shopping list?
          • Eli: No?
          • Player: ... Anyway, it doesn't matter, can I have the map now?
          • Eli: Well... I have good news and bad news.
          • Player: What's the good news?
          • Eli: It's actually not a map so much as a piece of paper which tells you exactly where to go.
          • Player: That is good news, saves me a lot of hassle. And the bad news?
          • Eli: I had a little run in with a level 15 highwayman. And he unfortunately ran off with your map. And to make matters worse... The trauma of the event was so much that I've forgotten what it said so I can't even just tell you where to go.
          • Player: That's terrible. I wonder if it's worth checking the jails just in case he's been caught by any guards.
          • Eli: Could be a good shout, I'd check out the Port Sarim jail if I were you.
          • Player: That's oddly specific.
          • Eli: It's a better lead than nothing!
          • Player: I guess you're right. Thanks Eli, I'll go have a look!
          • The tomato, eggs, and cabbages are removed from the player.
    • General chat.
      • (Non-event dialogue.)

Talking to the highwayman in Port Sarim jail[edit | edit source]

First time[edit | edit source]
  • Player: I wonder if this is the guy who robbed Eli? So, uh, what are you in for?
  • Highwayman: Oh you know. Lying. Cheating. Killing low levelled players. Stealing.
  • Player: Yes, stealing! That's the one we want!
  • Highwayman: Huh?
  • Player: Oh sorry, I think I got a little too excited about that.
  • Highwayman: Right...
  • Player: Did you by any chance steal a piece of paper which had directions to a dragon?
  • Highwayman: I don't know about directions to a dragon. But I do have this.
  • The highwayman holds up a piece of paper which can only be the 'map' which was stolen from Eli!
  • Player: That's it! I can't believe it! Eli was right! It's so weird that he was right...
  • (Without space in backpack:)
    • Player: But anyway! Hold that thought, I need to clear some inventory space.
  • (With space in backpack:)
    • Player: But anyway! I'm so happy you have the map! Honestly, I don't know why but I was expecting it to be in pieces and I was going to have to put it together.
    • Highwayman: Oh really? You mean like this?
    • The highwayman rips the map in half.
    • Player: You monster! I mean, honestly it's not too big of a deal, I can just put those 2 bits back together.
    • Highwayman: Not a big deal you say?
    • The highwayman rips the map halves into map quarters.
    • Player: Okay this is definitely more of a problem.
    • Highwayman: More of a problem you say?
    • The highwayman looks deep into your eyes and rips the map up into even smaller chunks.
    • Player: Why?
    • Highwayman: Because I'm a bad, bad man.
    • The highwayman tosses the map pieces to you and they fall around you like confetti.
    • Highwayman: Enjoy your map.
    • Player: Enjoy jail.
    • Highwayman: Touché.
    • Player receives the tiny pieces of map.
Afterwards[edit | edit source]
With the map pieces[edit | edit source]
  • Highwayman: How's the map looking?
  • Player: How's jail looking?
Without the map pieces[edit | edit source]
  • Player: You don't happen to have spare version of that map do you?
  • (Without space in backpack:)
    • Player: Sorry I need to clear some space in my inventory.
  • (With space in backpack:)
    • Highwayman: Yep, here you go.
    • The highwayman pulls out another map, rips it up and gives it to you.
    • Player: Thanks!
    • Player receives the tiny pieces of map.

Reading the tiny pieces of map[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Let's see...
  • You place all the pieces of paper out in front of you in a random order.
  • The letters are 'CAMMSTBSAKMREEURNEUOV'
  • Player: If I rearrange the pieces I can maybe figure out what it said originally. Manoeuver murns setback? Evermore mambas unstuck? Untame makeover crumbs? I don't think any of these are right. Actually, if I look at each of these letters, the stains, of the parchment, the alignment of the creases. Okay it looks like there was 3 separate words.
  • KRVRCKO SEMUMU NTESEABM
  • Player: Where could this be telling me to go?

Reading the tiny pieces of map again[edit | edit source]

  • ARVRCKO SEMUMU NTESEABM
  • Player: I need to rearrange these letters to figure out where the dragon is.

Talking to Mr Mordaut[edit | edit source]

First time[edit | edit source]
  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Deal with Mr Mordaut.
      • Player: Mr Mordaut!
      • Mr Mordaut: Well, hello, how can I help you?
      • Player: I didn't realise I was going to have to kill Mr Mordaut.
      • Mr Mordaut: What was that?
      • Player: Oh! Nothing! Hahahah!
      • Mr Mordaut: You certainly are a strange one. No matter, did you bring my pan?
      • (Without the frying pan:)
        • Player: Nope. I appear to have lost it. I'll go see the Duke again.
      • (With the frying pan:)
        • Player: Yes, I did.
        • Mr Mordaut: Thank you, I've been waiting for months to get this back from the Duke.
        • Player: Ah. Wait... Has this whole quest been about returning your frying pan and it's not going to end with me killing you?
        • Mr Mordaut: Kill me? Who on earth told you that you needed to kill me?
        • Player: It was... ... Now that I think about it no one actually said anything about killing.
        • Mr Mordaut: Don't look so sad about it.
        • Player: Do you by any chance have a colossal egg you could spare?
        • Mr Mordaut: Well, I was planning on frying it up. But you can have it as a thanks.
        • Player: Thank you Mr Mordaut! I'll get this back to the cook.
        • Player gives Mr Mordaut the frying pan and the tiny pieces of map and receives a colossal egg.
        • (Without space in backpack:)
          • You earned a lamp for completing this miniquest. You can claim it later from the cook at the party.
        • (With space in backpack:)
          • You receive Large prismatic lamp.
    • General chat.
      • (Non-event dialogue.)
Afterwards[edit | edit source]
  • What would you like to talk about?
    • Deal with Mr Mordaut.
      • (Having lost the egg:)
        • Player: I...
        • (Without space in backpack:)
          • Mr Mordaut: If you want a replacement egg you need some inventory space.
        • (With space in backpack:)
          • Mr Mordaut: Here you go.
          • Player: How did you know?
          • Mr Mordaut: I just did.
          • Player: Thanks!
          • Player receives a colossal egg.
      • (Without having lost the egg:)
        • Mr Mordaut: What am I going to fry now. I wonder if Eli has any of that bacon stuff he's been working on.
    • General chat.
      • (Non-event dialogue.)

Talking to the cook again[edit | edit source]

  • What do you want to talk about?
    • Baking a cake.
      • (With all three items before baking the cake:)
        • Cook: How's the cake going?
        • Player: I have everything right here!
        • Cook: Excellent, thank you, let's make the cake! Little bit of this... Little bit of that... Behold! The finest cake ever crafted on Gielinor!
        • Player: Don't you need to, you know, bake it and stuff?
        • Cook: Hey! Who's the cook here?
        • Player: Fair enough. It does look delicious.
        • Cook: Truly the best cake I've ever made. Thank you again for all of your help!
        • Player: No problem, I shall enjoy this! Take care cook!
        • Cook: You too, Player!
        • You receive Huge prismatic lamp.
        • Player gives the cook the three ingredients and receives the 20th Anniversary cake.
      • (After baking the cake:)
        • Cook: This is truly the best cake I've ever made. Thanks again for all your help!
        • Player: Anytime!
    • Do you have any rewards for me?