Dialogue for Goblin generals

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  • (Initiating the conversation with either General Bentnoze or Warface results in the same dialogue.)
  • General Bentnoze: You here about archaeologies?
  • General Wartface: About our artefact collections?
  • Talk about Archaeology?
    • Yes.
      • Select an option
        • Who are you?
          • General Bentnoze: I General Bentnoze. I once of Thorobshuun tribe.
          • General Wartface: And I General Wartface. I once of Garagorshuun tribe.
          • General Bentnoze: We lead Goblin Village together.
          • General Wartface: And that about only thing we agree on.
          • (Shows previous options)
        • What are you collecting?
          • General Bentnoze: You may talk in general or about specific General collection?
          • Player: That's a confusing question.
          • What would you like to do?
            • View General Bentnoze's collections.
              • (Red Rum Reliquary interface opens.)
            • View General Wartface's collections.
              • (Green Gobbo Goodies interface opens.)
            • Talk about collections in general.
              • General Wartface: I want all gobbo stuff! Gobbo stuff best!
              • General Bentnoze: Nuh! Gobbo stuff worst, which is why I want all non-gobbo stuff!
              • Player: Let's not worry about what is best, right now. But hey, at least there's no overlap with what you both want.
              • General Wartface: Well, is maybe one thing. We both like Da Boss Man.
              • General Bentnoze: Yeah, Big High War God. Him not around so much, so want something to remember him with.
              • General Wartface: Yeah, like a statue.
              • Player: Is the one just outside Goblin Village not enough?
              • General Bentnoze: Not arty enough.
              • Player: When you say gobbo and non-gobbo stuff... I mean, 'non-gobbo' stuff is a LOT of stuff.
              • General Wartface: Oh, right, yeah.
              • General Bentnoze: We should have say.
              • General Wartface: Only stuff from Warforge.
              • General Bentnoze: Yeah, non-gobbo stuff bad, but non-gobbo stuff from non-gobbo place even worse.
              • General Wartface: Except to say gobbo stuff is best, me agree. Non-gobbo places - yuck.
              • (Shows previous-to-previous options)
        • What are your collection rewards?
          • If players have not completed their first collections:
            • General Bentnoze: Between us we got...
            • General Wartface: ...pieces of tetracompass.
            • General Wartface: You complete each of our first two collections...
            • General Bentnoze: ...then you get a complete tetracompass.
          • If players have completed their first collections:
            • General Bentnoze: How was tetracompass? Hope you got something.
            • General Wartface: We not get it working. Worth nothing to us.
          • If players have not completed their final collections:
            • General Bentnoze: We had a relic, but it broke.
            • General Wartface: Yeah, 'cos you kept pulling it.
            • General Bentnoze: That because it mine!
            • General Wartface: No, it mine!
            • Player: What was it? And why would I want a broken relic?
            • General Wartface: It called Helm of Terror.
            • General Bentnoze: Make you fight better.
            • Player: From the sound of it, it just made you fight MORE.
            • General Bentnoze: We not agree who gets to wear.
            • General Wartface: So we fought and it snap in half.
            • General Wartface: You can have my half. It useless unless fixed.
            • General Bentnoze: And if we fix it, we fight. You have my half too.
            • Player: And then I can fix it and keep it?
            • General Wartface: Sure, you bring peace to Goblin Village.
            • General Bentnoze: And I not have to hear about it no more.
          • If players have completed their final collections:
            • General Bentnoze: How is Helm of Terror?
            • Player: It's awesome, thanks!
            • General Wartface: You inspire awe now.
          • (Shows previous options)
        • Bye.
          • General Bentnoze: See ya.
    • No.
      • Choose an option:
        • I want to talk about the Kyzaj Tournament.
          • General Bentnoze: Hey look! It cave human!
          • General Wartface: I can see that, dumb-dumb.
          • General Bentnoze: You dumb-dumb!
          • Select an option
            • What did you think of the tournament?
              • General Bentnoze: It great! Except for Wartface. Him ruin commentary with stupid talk.
              • General Wartface: Me have best commentary. You stupid.
              • General Bentnoze: Hope there another tournament so can do commentary without Wartface.
              • General Wartface: Me working on catchphrase: 'IT SLOBBERKNOCKER!' Need work me think.
              • General Bentnoze: The worst catchphrase. You worst at commentating.
              • General Wartface: You worst at everything!
              • (Shows previous options)
            • You didn't go with Zanik?
              • General Wartface: Was gonna. Then Bentnoze say he go. Clearly going stupid.
              • General Bentnoze: That not right! You tell story wrong stupid!
              • General Wartface: So me stay. But then Bentnoze stay as well. So me punch Bentnoze.
              • General Bentnoze: Real story is, Wartface is dumb-dumb; punch Bentnoze for no reason.
              • General Wartface: So me punch Bentnoze right back. Lots of punching, then fall asleep.
              • General Bentnoze: When we wake up, Chosen Commander already left. So came back to village instead.
              • (Shows previous options)
            • Good bye.
              • (Dialogue ends)
        • So how is life for the goblins?
          • Player: So how is life for the goblins?
          • (One of the following is shown:)
            • (Option 1:)
              • General Bentnoze: Now Grubfoot gone, we need find new servant. Who you think?
              • General Wartface: What about Wartknees?
              • General Bentnoze: No, he too stupid. What about Snailhead?
              • General Wartface: No, he too clumsy. What about Toadbrain?
              • General Bentnoze: No, he not exist. He figment of your imagination.
              • General Wartface: Oh yeah. Me always forget.
            • (Option 2:)
              • General Bentnoze: Our soldiers need better weapons. We give them all warhammers!
              • General Wartface: No no give them battleaxes!
              • General Bentnoze: Axes stupid! They things you cut wood with!
              • General Wartface: But hammers things you put nails in wood with! At least axes sharp!
              • General Bentnoze: You not need sharp when you have strong goblin swinging big lump of iron!
              • Player: Do you want me to...
              • General Wartface: Shut up, human, we sort this one out ourselves!
            • (Option 3:)
              • General Bentnoze: Shut up, Grubfoot!
              • General Wartface: Grubfoot not here.
              • General Bentnoze: Oh, yeah.
              • General Bentnoze: Human, if you see Grubfoot, you tell him 'shut up' for me!
            • (Option 4:)
              • General Bentnoze: What we do now, Warface?
              • General Wartface: Me dunno...maybe we change armour colour again.
              • General Bentnoze: Human, what colour you think best?
              • Player: What about brown?
              • General Wartface: Yeah brown is nice.
              • General Bentnoze: Thanks, human.
            • (Option 5:)
              • General Bentnoze: When Chosen Commander come to speak to us again?
              • Player: I don't know. I don't think she was making any progress when she spoke to you before.
              • General Wartface: We listen to whatever she say!
              • General Bentnoze: Yeah, as long as she agree with truths of Big High War God!
              • General Wartface: Goblins mighty, war good, Big High War God greatest god!
              • Player: I don't think Zanik is likely to say any of that. Bandos is dead, remember?
              • General Bentnoze: Oh. Yes, me remember.
              • General Wartface: Goblins mighty, war good... er... pike best fish?
              • General Bentnoze: Trout best fish.
              • Player: Don't start all that again. What about 'You don't have to fight all the time'?
              • General Wartface: Hahaha!
              • General Bentnoze: Hahaha! Stupid human.
              • General Wartface: Chosen Commander would never say such silly things.
            • (Option 6:)
              • General Wartface: Big High War God dead?
              • General Bentnoze: Think so, Wartface.
              • General Wartface: What we do now?
              • General Bentnoze: We...hide from Big High War God? He probably angry he dead.
              • General Wartface: No, stupid. He just dead.
              • General Bentnoze: Oh yeah.
              • Player: You could join another god, I suppose. Or be Godless.
              • General Wartface: But which god we choose?
              • Player: Oh no. I'm getting out of this one.
            • (Option 7:)
              • General Wartface: Human! Did you save Chosen Commander from horrible fate?
              • Player: Yes! She's fine now!
              • General Bentnoze: That good. Horrible fate no good, my uncle had one once. You honourary goblin!
            • (Option 8:)
              • General Wartface: Last night I have vision of Chosen Commander. She say me biggest general, so me lead village.
              • General Bentnoze: You not have vision! You make that up!
              • General Wartface: In my vision, Chosen Commander say you say that. So now I know it true.
              • General Bentnoze: Well... I have vision too. Chosen Commander say me big general!
              • General Wartface: That not fair! Me have vision first!
              • General Bentnoze: Chosen Commander also say you fat and stupid.
              • General Wartface: Shut up!
            • (Option 9:)
              • General Wartface: Me tell Mudknuckles make worm stew for dinner.
              • General Bentnoze: Me not like worm stew! Tell him make beetle pie!
              • General Wartface: Beetle pie give you wind! You smell bad enough already!