Dialogue for Fred the Farmer

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After Sheep Shearer[edit | edit source]

  • Fred the Farmer: What are you doing on my land?
  • Choose an option
    • I'm looking for something to kill.
      • Fred the Farmer: What, on my land? Leave my livestock alone!
    • I'm lost.
      • Fred the Farmer: How can you be lost? Just follow the road east and south. You'll end up in Lumbridge fairly quickly.
    • If the player has interacted with the penguins in sheep clothing
      • Fred! Fred I've seen 'The Thing'!
        • Fred the Farmer: You... you actually saw it? Run for the hills! Player, grab as many chickens as you can! We have to...
        • Player: Fred!
        • Fred the Farmer: ...flee! Oh, woe is me! The shape-shifter is coming! We're all...
        • Player: FRED!
        • Fred the Farmer: ...doomed. What?
        • Player: It's not a shape-shifter or any other kind of monster.
        • Fred the Farmer: Well, what is it, boy?
        • Player: Well, it's just two penguins... disguised as a sheep.
        • Fred the Farmer: ...
        • Fred the Farmer: Have you been out in the sun too
    • Can you tell me about the battlefield?
      • Fred the Farmer: Hmph. Yes, a great big portal appears not far from my farm and Saradomin and Zamorak come traipsing over my land, happy as you please.
      • Fred the Farmer: Bloomin' soldiers everywhere, spooking my chickens and telling everyone they should join up with some army of other.
      • Fred the Farmer: Then, without a warning, Saradomin himself plonks a war camp on top of my house. Well, I was angry, I'll tell you.
      • Fred the Farmer: So, I left a sternly written letter with the duke, and built a new house here, bringing my sheep with me.
      • Fred the Farmer: And you know what... the THING followed...

During the Lumbridge Rebuildathon[edit | edit source]

    • Player: Can you tell me about the battlefield?
      • Fred the Farmer: Hmph. Yes, a great big portal appears not far from my farm and Saradomin and Zamorak come traipsing over my land, happy as you please.
      • Fred the Farmer: Bloomin' soldiers everywhere, spooking my chickens and telling everyone they should join up with some army of other.
      • Fred the Farmer: Then, without a warning, Saradomin himself plonks a war camp on top of my house. Well, I was angry, I'll tell you.
      • Fred the Farmer: So, I left a sternly written letter with the duke, and built a new house here, bringing my sheep with me.
      • Fred the Farmer: And you know what... the THING followed...
      • Fred the Farmer: The battle destroyed some other peoples houses, too, and there's a rebuilding effort going on right now to help them.
      • Fred the Farmer: Not that I needed help moving my house! Hank and Explorer Jack are too soft, in my opinion, accepting help from passing adventurers like that.

Before the Lumbridge Rebuildathon[edit | edit source]

    • Player: Can you tell me about the battlefield?
      • Fred the Farmer: Hmph. Yes, a great big portal appears not far from my farm and Saradomin and Zamorak come traipsing over my land, happy as you please.
      • Fred the Farmer: Bloomin' soldiers everywhere, spooking my chickens and telling everyone they should join up with some army of other.
      • Fred the Farmer: Then, without a warning, Saradomin himself plonks a war camp on top of my house. Well, I was angry, I'll tell you.
      • Fred the Farmer: So, I left a sternly written letter with the duke, and built a new house here, bringing my sheep with me.
      • Fred the Farmer: And you know what... the THING followed...
      • Fred the Farmer: At least they're not fighting any more though.
      • Fred the Farmer: But don't expect me to just hand you more jobs! Find your own work!

During the Battle of Lumbridge[edit | edit source]

    • Player: Can you tell me about the battlefield?
      • Fred the Farmer: Hmph. Yes, a great big portal appears not far from my farm and Saradomin and Zamorak come traipsing over my land, happy as you please.
      • Fred the Farmer: Bloomin' soldiers everywhere, spooking my chickens and telling everyone they should join up with some army of other.
      • Fred the Farmer: Then, without a warning, Saradomin himself plonks a war camp on top of my house. Well, I was angry, I'll tell you.
      • Fred the Farmer: So, I left a sternly written letter with the duke, and built a new house here, bringing my sheep with me.
      • Fred the Farmer: And you know what... the THING followed...
      • Fred the Farmer: They're still fighting it out now, over to the west. As for you, maybe you should stop lumbering about in my house and do something useful!
      • Fred the Farmer: But don't expect me to just hand you more jobs! Find your own work!