Dialogue for Freaky Forester

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  • Player: Do you work here?
  • Freaky Forester: Yes, I work as a forester for the McGrubors! Let me guess: the lederhosen gave me away, right?
  • Player: Something like that. What does your job entail?
  • Freaky Forester: What? Where? How many tails?
  • Player: Excuse me? No, I mean what do you do here?
  • Freaky Forester: Oh! Er...sorry. I look after the place - plant and fell trees, check them for disease, look after the local wildlife...and hold back the tide of the pheasant incursion.
  • Player: Wait - run that last one by me again.
  • Freaky Forester: Pheasants! I kill them - they're pests, see.
  • Player: Pests? Really? Are you sure you're not thinking of pigeons?
  • Freaky Forester: Pigeons, pheasants - what's the difference?
  • Player: Actually, there's a very big diff-
  • Freaky Forester: Exactly! They're as bad as each other...plus these ones are mutating.
  • Player: Mutating?
  • Freaky Forester: Some have got more tail feathers than others.
  • Player: Maybe some have just lost a few fea-
  • Freaky Forester: Giant mutated pheasants from the Void, planning the destruction of my lovely forest!
  • Player: But they're tiny! You're...you're just a bit mad aren't you?
  • Freaky Forester: Mad? No. 'Freaky', maybe, but not mad!