Transcript of Fortunes (miniquest)

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Starting out[edit | edit source]

Talking to Closure[edit | edit source]

First time[edit | edit source]

  • Closure: Hello again, World Guardian. If you have the time, I'd like to start your biography.
  • (Quest Overview interface opens.)
    • Not right now
      • Player: Sorry, not right now.
      • Closure: As you wish. Come speak to me again when you can.
    • Accept quest
      • Player: Sorry to have kept you waiting.
      • Closure: Oh, don't worry. I've been working on a few other accounts in your absence. For remarkable individuals I try to start writing them early. It saves me some time when the inevitable happens.
      • Player: Who's been lucky to make the early list?
      • Closure: Odd you should ask. Relomia, for one.
      • Player: What's she done to earn that?
      • Closure: Few manage to so successfully obstruct my work. If I know more about her past, I can more easily predict what she might try next. There is no better way to know one's enemy. The more I find, though...I can't help but sympathise.
      • Player: Sympathise? She tried to steal my story!
      • Closure: I won't make excuses for her, but try to understand. You have everything she has ever wanted. That's why she targeted you.
      • Player: She stabbed me!
      • Closure: Thus joining quite an extensive list. Listen. The thread of your life has touched so many, in so many ways, across so many stories. You have sought adventure from the moment you arrived in this world and your renown is hard-earned. Relomia has...tried. But she doesn't understand. How can she, when all she knows is control at the hands of beings far crueller and stronger than herself? Any selfless courage was squashed from her many years ago. Such a shame. But anyway. Your own biography -
      • Player: Hold on. I think we can do something about this. You say she doesn't know any better. Maybe we should give her the chance to change that.
      • Closure: What are you proposing?
      • Player: How about we set up a challenge for her? Her own little quest. That way, she can try being a hero without stealing it from someone else. And we can reward her for trying, even a little.
      • Closure: I'm not sure...
      • Player: Trust me, I've done this before.
      • Closure: Yes, with the Carnillean boy. I recall. And for young Violet! That was a delight to write about.
      • Player: Violet? Is she dead?
      • Closure: Of course.
      • Player: No!
      • Closure: What? Oh, don't worry. Everyone's dead by the time they reach my attention. You're one of the few who can pop in and out at will while still alive. When you leave my study, you will find her safe and well, at the beginning of a long and extraordinary life. One I believe you can take some credit for.
      • Player: What have we got to lose? If it doesn't work we can think of something else.
      • Closure: I suppose it's a start. What do you need?
      • Player: We'll need someone to start things off. Someone with a problem they can't solve themselves.
      • Closure: I see. One moment.
      • Closure consults his book and concentrates for a moment.
      • Ariane, Sir Tiffy, and Zanik appear in the lobby.
      • Closure: There. I've summoned a few likely candidates. You'll find them next door.
      • Player: How did you do that? Are they dead?
      • Closure: Everyone comes to me eventually, and we're a little way outside the normal flow of time here. If they are fated to die, I can call in anyone I need, at any time. I can resolve their stories correctly afterwards and no harm will be done. Now go see if any of them will help us.
      • Player: Alright.

Afterwards[edit | edit source]

  • Closure: Have you found a willing quest giver?
  • Player: I've not asked them all yet.
  • Closure: I picked out three likely candidates for you. They're waiting next door. Let me know when you've spoken to all of them.

Talking to Zanik[edit | edit source]

  • First time talking
    • Zanik: Oh, no, not again.
    • Player: Not your first time?
    • Zanik: Hi, Player. I guess I shouldn't be surprised to see you here. And no, it's not. Every time I wind up here it takes longer to sort everything out. Closure must hate seeing me by now.
    • Player: Have you got time to help me with something?
    • Zanik: I wish I could, but I don't want to make things more complicated. I'll sit this one out, I think.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • If you have talked to Zanik
    • Zanik: I just hope it's not as complicated as last time...
    • If you've talked to everyone
      • Player: None of them want to do it. Better see what Closure thinks.
      • (Continues below)
    • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Sir Tiffy[edit | edit source]

  • First time talking
    • Sir Tiffy: Goodness! What's all this?
    • Player: Hello, Tiffy.
    • Sir Tiffy: What-ho, good to see you! Looks like the old Reaper finally caught up with me. Bound to happen one day. What are you in for, eh?
    • Player: I'm just visiting, actually. Though I have a favour to ask.
    • Sir Tiffy: Ask away, ask away.
    • Player: I need someone to start a quest for me. Just a small one. Have you got anything?
    • Sir Tiffy: Ah, if only you'd asked me back in the day. I'd be up there with you, quick-sharp. But this whole death nonsense seems like a sign, wouldn't you agree? Time for me to leave my questing days behind. Besides, there's been so many I wouldn't have the first clue where to fit you in! So, terribly sorry, but I must decline.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • If you have talked to Sir Tiffy
    • Sir Tiffy: Sorry, old bean. I'm all adventured out.
    • If you've talked to everyone
      • Player: None of them want to do it. Better see what Closure thinks.
      • (Continues below)
    • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Ariane[edit | edit source]

  • First time talking
    • Ariane: Well isn't this inconvenient!
    • Player: Everything all right, Ariane?
    • Ariane: Absolutely not! I'm dead! That's the furthest from alright I could be! I'm needed up there - I can't die now!
    • Player: I think it happens to everyone someday, Ariane...
    • Ariane: Oh, of course, but right now? No!
    • Player: I don't suppose you've got a moment to help me out, then?
    • Ariane: Sorry, Player, but no. I need to work out how to fix this.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • If you have talked to Ariane
    • Ariane: There must be some way I can get out of this.
    • If you've talked to everyone
      • Player: None of them want to do it. Better see what Closure thinks.
      • (Continues below)
    • (Dialogue ends)

Recollection of a Debt[edit | edit source]

  • Player: None of them want to be the quest giver.
  • Closure: A pity. I'll send them back.
  • Closure concentrates once more...
  • Zanik, Sir Tiffy, and Ariane all disappear
  • Closure: So what's the backup plan?
  • Death interrupts the conversation
  • Death: Closure, I hate to pry, but what in the name of Guthix are you playing at?
  • Closure: What will it take to get you to knock?
  • Death: I sensed a disturbance. People being called in unnecessarily. Player, is this something to do with you?
  • Player: We're trying to do something about Relomia.
  • Death: If it involves meddling with my department, please do fill me in.
  • Player: We think Relomia wants some of my glory. So we're making her a quest!
  • Closure: Attempting to, at least, but we have fallen at the first hurdle. Do you have anyone you could spare to act as our quest giver?
  • Player: I have a better idea. Death, couldn't you do it?
  • Death: Absolutely not. I'm far too busy.
  • Player: Please?
  • Death: If you want to convince me, you'll need to do better than that.
  • Who needed your help to save Death?
    • Icthlarin
      • Player: Icthlarin asked for my help when you were in trouble. This is just the same!
      • Death: Your assistance was necessary to avert disaster and Icthlarin's judgement was sound. This is entirely different.
      • What was the danger?
        • Zamorak
          • Player: Zamorak tried to start a war between the gods and we stopped him. We can stop Relomia, with your help!
          • Death: Not in recent memory.
          • (Shows previous options)
        • Sliske
          • Player: Sliske tried to start a war between the gods and we stopped him. We can stop Relomia, with your help!
          • Death: Mercifully, that has not come to pass - not yet, at least. But this seems markedly more trivial than a divine war. I don't see why I should be involved.
          • Who did you save?
            • Icthlarin
            • Strisath
            • Death
              • Player: I saved you from Sliske, at the Empyrean Citadel!
              • Death: True, and I am in deeply[sic] your debt for it. But are you sure that this is how you want that debt repaid?
              • Player: Yes.
              • Death: Oh, very well. I suppose it's for our own good if it stops Relomia. Just tell me where to go, and I'll handle the rest.
              • Player: Thanks!
              • (Continues below)
        • Bandos
          • Player: Bandos tried to start a war between the gods and we stopped him. We can stop Relomia, with your help!
          • Death: Are you sure about that?
          • (Shows previous options)
    • Wizard Valina
      • Player: Wizard Valina asked for my help when you were in trouble. This is just the same!
      • Death: That isn't my recollection.
      • (Shows previous options)
    • Brother Samwell
      • Player: Brother Samwell asked for my help when you were in trouble. This is just the same!
      • Death: That's not how I remember it.
      • (Shows previous options)
  • Player: For the middle part, we need some sort of test for her to do. A challenge she can win.
  • Closure: Do you know what she's good at?
  • Player: Causing trouble and stabbing me, from what I can tell.
  • Death: I'd rather avoid any more unnecessary deaths.
  • Player: How about getting her to sneak past some enemies? We can use the woods outside. Dark, menacing, generally deserted. We can turn it into a maze, with shadowy creatures lurking in the corners, waiting to jump out and-
  • Closure: Yes, yes, we get the idea. But how can we ensure that they're not alive?
  • Death: I believe I saw some new scarecrows in one of the fields just south-east of the hourglass. Some of them would do.
  • Player: Couldn't I make my own?
  • Death: I don't believe you could make any as frightening as those. No, if we want the real scary atmosphere, best to use the ones in the field. Go get three scarecrows and get them set up in the woods north-west of here, behind the hourglass. I'll send some of my minions to mark some good spots.
  • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Closure or Death again[edit | edit source]

  • If dialogue was interrupted after Death's arrival
  • If dialogue was interrupted during convincing Death
    • Player: Death, couldn't you be our quest giver.
    • Death: You'll need to do more to convince me.
    • (Same as above)
  • If dialogue was interrupted during planning
  • Closure: We still need to set up some enemies in the woods. Have you collected the three scarecrows from the wheat field yet?
  • Player: No.
  • (Dialogue ends)

Setting the Stage[edit | edit source]

[Picking up a Scarecrow, instead of a Spooky Scarecrow (examine text while out on field: 'Deeply spooky. Keeps away the crows and the neighbours.' Examine text in inventory: 'Relomia's soon-to-be enemy.' Examine text when planted: 'Relomia's future enemy.')]

Picking up the Scarecrow[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hmm. Not sure if this scarecrow is the right one. Death said there were three others close by. I should get them.

Picking up the Spooky Scarecrows[edit | edit source]

  • If you have no inventory
    • Player: I don't have enough space to carry that.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • All three Spooky Scarecrows are picked up
    • Player: There. Three scary enemies for Relomia to sneak past. I should go get them set up in the woods.
    • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Closure or Death[edit | edit source]

  • Closure: How are you getting on with placing those enemies for Relomia?
  • First time talking with all three Spooky Scarecrows in inventory
    • Player: I found them all!
      • Closure: Excellent work.
      • Closure: Death's minions have found some good places in the woods north-west of here, behind the hourglass. Go get them set up and then come back.
  • If you haven't planted the Spooky Scarecrows
    • Player: I've not done it yet.
    • (Continues below)
  • If you destroyed any number of Spooky Scarecrows
    • Player: I've lost some of them.
      • If you have no inventory space
      • Closure: You really ought to be more careful with those. Here.
      • Closure: You don't have enough space to carry them.
    • If you have inventory space
      • Closure: You really ought to be more careful with those. Here.
      • (Continues below)
  • Closure: Death's minions have marked some suitable places behind the hourglass, in the trees north-west of here. Head outside, find them, and place the scarecrows before you come back.
  • (Dialogue ends)

Planted all three Spooky Scarecrows[edit | edit source]

  • Player: That's all of them. I should see what Closure wants to do next.
  • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Closure or Death after planting the Spooky Scarecrows[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I've put down all the scarecrows!
  • Closure: Then I believe that's everything we need here.
  • Death: Not yet. We need someone to keep track of things.
  • Player: Yes - someone who can make it sound epic! Closure, would you mind...?
  • Closure: I don't see why not. Sounds rather fun.
  • Player: We need something dramatic for the ending. Something big and flashy and violent.
  • Closure: We have time for one of those things.
  • Death: I can probably spare a weapon for her to use. Would this do?
  • If you have no inventory space
    • Player: I don't have enough inventory space to carry that.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • If you have inventory space
    • Player receives a Confiscated sword.
    • Player: Where did you get this?
    • Death: It's confiscated.
    • Player: So it's been stolen from you, and Relomia needs to get it back!
    • Death: Yes, that'll do. Go hide it in the woods for her to find.
    • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Closure or Death before planting the Confiscated sword[edit | edit source]

  • Closure: Have you hidden the sword yet?
  • If Confiscated sword is not destroyed
    • Player: Not yet.
    • Closure: Death's minions have marked a suitable place in the trees north-west of here, behind the hourglass. Go put it there and then come back.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • If Confiscated sword is destroyed
    • Player: I lost the sword.
    • If you have no inventory space
      • Death: Clear some inventory space and I'll give it back to you.
      • (Dialogue ends)
    • If you have inventory space
      • Death: here it is. Be more careful with it. Now, go hide it in the woods for Relomia to find.
      • (Dialogue ends)

Hiding the Confiscated sword[edit | edit source]

  • If you don't have the Confiscated sword in your inventory
    • Player: I don't have anything to put there.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • If you have the Confiscated sword in your inventory
    • Player: There we go. Perfectly hidden. I should see if Closure thinks we need anything else.
    • (Dialogue ends)

Bar Crawl[edit | edit source]

Talking to Closure or Death[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I've hidden the sword!
  • Closure: Good work. Now, for the finale. Harold and I were talking, and we believe a good fight will round things off nicely.
  • Player: Most adventures I've been on do end with some sort of punch-up, so I agree. Any ideas?
  • Closure: It will need to be someone well-known...
  • Death: ...with a good backstory, and reputation for fighting their way out of trouble...
  • Closure: ...perhaps even some sort of fallen hero. Those make the best stories.
  • Player: Sorry, nobody springs to mind.
  • Death: ...
  • Closure: Leave it to us, Player. You can go find Relomia now.
  • Player: Do you know where she might be?
  • Closure: Try the Jolly Boar or the Blue Moon in Varrock. See if the bartenders have seen her lately. Nothing gets past them.
  • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Closure or Death again[edit | edit source]

  • Closure: Have you found Relomia yet?
  • If you haven't visited the pubs
    • Player: I'm not sure where to start.
    • Closure: Try the Jolly Boar or the Blue Moon in Varrock. See if the bartenders have seen her lately. Nothing gets past them.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • If you only visited the Blue Moon
    • Player: She wasn't in the Blue Moon.
    • Closure: Try speaking to the bartender at the Jolly Boar. Maybe you'll find a clue there.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • If you only visited the Jolly Boar
    • Player: She wasn't in the Jolly Boar.
    • Closure: Try speaking to the bartender at the Blue Moon. Maybe you'll find a clue there.
  • If you visited the both pubs
    • Player: I couldn't find her!
    • Closure: Hmm. Perhaps she's gone to another pub in Varrock. She won't have gone far.
    • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to the Bartender at the Blue Moon[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I'm looking for the, uh...adventurer who had a party in here a while ago. Have you seen her?
  • Bartender: Sorry, she's not been back. I'd remember if she did.
  • If you haven't visited the Jolly Boar
    • Player: Maybe she went to the Jolly Boar?
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • If you have visited the Jolly Boar
    • Player: Maybe she went to another pub nearby?
    • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to the Bartender at the Jolly Boar[edit | edit source]

  • Bartender: Can I help you?
  • Player: Hey, I'm looking for someone who was in here recently.
  • Bartender: Angry woman? Followed by shadows? Defacing books?
  • Player: That's the one!
  • Bartender: I kicked her out. She wouldn't stop terrorising the punters.
  • Player: Oh. Thanks anyway.
  • If you haven't visited the Blue Moon
    • Player: Maybe she went to the Blue Moon.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • If you visited the Blue Moon
    • Player: Maybe she went to another pub nearby.
    • (Dialogue ends)

Talking to Relomia at the Dancing Donkey[edit | edit source]

  • First time talking
    • Relomia: Oh, yay! It's everyone's favourite hero.
    • Player: What are you doing here, Relomia?
    • Relomia: The idiots at the Jolly Boar threw me out. It's not my fault! I just wanted to show them I could help. I'd made myself a special wand and everything. That's what you heroes do, isn't it? Look-
    • Relomia thwacks Player and they launch back a few spaces, reeling
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • After Relomia thwacks you
    • Relomia: Useless thing. I swear it worked properly earlier. Doesn't matter, anyway. You're just here to ruin my fun again.
    • Player: Actually, I need your help.
    • Relomia: You? Needing MY help? Wait. What's going on?
    • Player: I need your help. Something's come up and I don't think I can do it on my own. What do you say?
    • Relomia: What's in it for me?
    • Player: Uh...
    • Select an option
      • Untold Riches!
        • (Continues below)
      • A thrilling adventure!
        • (Continues below)
      • Forbidden knowledge!
        • (Continues below)
      • A quest point!
        • (Continues below)
    • Relomia: Is that so? Well, how could I say no to that.
    • Player: Meet me at the hourglass north of Draynor Village.
    • Relomia teleports away
    • Player: I should go back to Closure. Time to get things started!
    • (Dialogue ends)

A Meeting With Death[edit | edit source]

Talking to Closure[edit | edit source]

  • The following adventure features a non-lethal combat encounter. Death is on your side!
  • Closure: Do you want to start Relomia's quest?
  • Select an option
  • Yes!
    • (Continues below)
  • No.
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • If you have items equipped, in inventory or familiar summoned
    • Closure: You need to leave all your items here. Use Death's bank chest if you need to, then talk to me again to begin.
    • If you have a familiar summoned
      • Closure: And don't forget to leave your familiar behind.
      • (Continues below)
    • (Dialogue ends)
  • Screen fades to black to outside
  • Relomia: Well, we're here. Now what?
  • Death appears
  • Relomia: What the-! Is this some sort of trick? Some way to get rid of me?
  • Death: Not at all. Player told me that you were the best person for the job.
  • Relomia: Me? Really? For what?
  • Death: A powerful artefact I have been safeguarding has gone missing, and I need you to get it back. Do you accept the task?
  • Relomia: Yeah! I mean...sure. If you pay me.
  • Death: You will be handsomely rewarded. Now, this weapon-
  • Relomia: Who took it?
  • Death: A deadly agent serving an unknown force. I did not see their face, but-
  • Relomia: Which way did they go?
  • Death: If you would stop interrupting-
  • Relomia: Sorry, it's just so exciting! I mean...we don't have any time to waste.
  • Death: They took it into the woods. Be careful: they have dangerous allies, and will not have left it unguarded-
  • Relomia: Sure, sure. Into the woods we go!
  • Death: Good luck, Player.
  • Death disappears
  • (Dialogue ends)

Relomia Quest: Chapter One[edit | edit source]

Relomia talking in order[edit | edit source]

  • Relomia: What did he say he was missing?
  • Relomia: Oh, doesn't matter. I'll know it when I see it.
  • Relomia: Well? Now what?

Talking to Relomia[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Look! Up ahead!
  • Relomia: That's a scarecrow.
  • Closure: There, lurking in the deep shadows of the cursed woods, they found their first adversary...
  • Relomia: What was that?
  • Player: Just go with it.
  • Closure: An enemy of great speed and cunning, whose eyes could pierce even the darkest night. They would need to use all their stealth to escape...
  • Relomia whacks the first Evil Goon
  • Relomia: Yeah, just a scarecrow.
  • Closure: Hmph. Their enemy lay defeated, and our brave heroes travelled on...
  • (Dialogue ends)

Relomia talking after defeat the first Evil Goon[edit | edit source]

  • Relomia: You're lucky I've nothing better to do this afternoon.
  • Relomia: Can't wait for that reward though.

Evil Goon Duo[edit | edit source]

  • Closure: Before long they found their second enemy, more dangerous and terrible than the first, their command of dark magic incomparable...
  • Relomia: Yes, I get the idea. Dangerous, horrible, smelly-
  • Relomia thwacks the second Evil Goon
  • Relomia: - dead.
  • Closure: Nothing more awaited them here, and so they continued on, deeper into the woods...
  • (Dialogue ends)

Relomia Talking after defeating the second Evil Goon[edit | edit source]

  • Relomia: I hope you didn't steal these 'enemies', Player.

Evil Goon Tres[edit | edit source]

  • Closure: At last, they came upon the greatest threat. He stood undefeated, unchallenged, the most trusted and strongest henchman of their enemy, and he was not prepared to move out of their way.
  • Relomia: Oh, no! However will I survive!
  • Relomia thwacks the third Evil Goon
  • Relomia: Like that, I guess. What's that it's standing on?
  • (Dialogue ends)

Relomia moves to the Confiscated sword[edit | edit source]

  • Relomia: What's this?

Talking to Relomia after defeating the third Evil Goon[edit | edit source]

  • Relomia: Look! This must be what old boney was looking for.
  • Relomia picks up sword
  • Player: Fantastic work! Now we just need to- Then, once we've done that- And we'll be home in time for tea! Wait, how are you doing that?!
  • Relomia: It's my wand - it keeps going off by itself! I was wondering what the other part of that old enchantment did.
  • Player: Cut that out, or I'll- And then you'll be sorry- Augh! Give it here!
  • Player steals Relomia's Wand
  • Relomia: Hey! Give it back!
  • Player: Now it's mine! Wait a moment...Well-known, good backstory, a fallen hero... Oh!
  • Relomia: What are you on about?
  • Player makes a grand gesture of EVIL
  • Player: Prepare to face your doom, Relomia- 'twas I who stole the sword, to draw you out here- You may have defeated my loyal hench-scarecrows, but you will NEVER- Oh, for the love of -!
  • Relomia: Hah! I wish I'd found this out earlier. Now shut up and prepare to die!
  • Screen fades to black to Relomia fight

Fighting Relomia[edit | edit source]

Relomia healing in the fight[edit | edit source]

  • Relomia heals herself with the magic sword!

Having the upper-hand in the fight[edit | edit source]

  • Closure: Harold will make sure you live - play along! This is her big moment!

Using Relomia's wand ability[edit | edit source]

  • The wand sparks and Relomia is knocked back!

Relomia's wand breaking apart[edit | edit source]

  • The wand breaks and falls apart in your hand!

When Relomia kills Player[edit | edit source]

  • Relomia: I won!

At Death's Door[edit | edit source]

  • Death: Congratulations on your victory, Relomia.
  • Relomia: They had it coming. Here's your sword.
  • Relomia hands Death the Confiscated sword
  • Death: Thank you -
  • Relomia: So where's my reward?
  • Death: As I cannot give you the gift of patience, here - take this gold, and my thanks.
  • Closure: And this.
  • Closure hands Relomia her biography
  • Relomia: What's this - a book? I don't have time for a book.
  • Closure: It's an advance copy of your biography, as yet incomplete. The sum of your life thus far. Please, read it carefully.
  • Relomia: Oh! Goodness. Wow. Thanks, I guess. Looks like my work is done. Time to spend this lovely gold!
  • Relomia teleports out
  • Death: Come, Player. Let's get you fixed up.
  • Screen fades black to Closure's study

Closure's study[edit | edit source]

  • Closure: Feeling better?
  • Player: I've had worse.
  • Closure: I can only hope that we've given her something to think about. If we're lucky, she'll reconsider her path. But I suppose we'll have to wait and see.
  • Miniquest complete!
  • Congratulations! You have completed: 'Fortunes (miniquest)' - Complete this Novice miniquest.

Post-miniquest dialogue[edit | edit source]

Talking to Closure[edit | edit source]

  • Closure: Ah, Player. I have to say, I'm glad to have crossed paths with you. I've been looking into your life some more and it is fascinating. The vast majority of my work is, to be frank, pretty mundane. It's a rare treat that I get to write a yarn as gripping as yours. I wonder if you might be interested in collaborating with me on your biography while your still, er, living it... You are such a storied individual, I would love to pick your brain about where you've been, where you are and where you think you might be going.
  • Player: Er...
  • Closure: No need to give me an answer right now. Just have a think about it, okay?