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This page contains dialogue related to Fancy Dan.
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- Fancy Dan: Arr!
- Fancy Dan: Is there something I can help ye with?
- Select an option
- I would like to join your crew.
- Player: I would like to join your crew.
- Fancy Dan: Of course you would!
- Fancy Dan: Arr, well we'll get you sorted out with a team hat right away.
- Fancy Dan: Go wait in the waiting room, I'll call you when we are ready to begin.
- If wearing hat or helmet
- Fancy Dan: Of course you would!
- Fancy Dan: However, I don't let anyone on the team if they are wearing a hat or a helmet.
- Fancy Dan: You can go and store it in the deposit box next to Jimmy's stall.
- Player: Why not?
- Fancy Dan: Well, in order to tell my crew from San Fan's I will need to give you a hat like mine.
- Fancy Dan: If you are wearing a hat it might get lost when I give you my crew's hat.
- Fancy Dan: You wouldn't want that would you?
- Player: No, that sounds very reasonable in fact.
- If you do not have an empty inventory
- Fancy Dan: Of course you would!
- Fancy Dan: Well, I'll be glad to have you aboard, but you will need to go and store all of your gear first.
- Player: What do you mean?
- Fancy Dan: Well, you will need all of your inventory space for the ingredients, and all of the other things I'll need you to haul about.
- Fancy Dan: There is a bank deposit box next to Jimmy's stall if you need it. Come and see me when you have a fully empty inventory.
- Who are you, and what is this place?
- Player: Who are you, and what is this place?
- Fancy Dan: Arrharrharr!
- Fancy Dan: Do you not recognise me? I am the famous dandy pirate 'Fancy' Dan!
- Player: Yes, of course, any pirate knows who you are.
- Fancy Dan: But of course.
- Fancy Dan: As for what this place is, it is my glorious still, producing the best quality 'rum' this side of Braindeath Island.
- Fancy Dan: Oh, and the run-down swill-producing ditch that San Fan over there calls a still.
- Player: So with two stills you have plenty of 'rum' right?
- Fancy Dan: Well we would do, if that hatchet-faced harridan wouldn't keep trying to torch the place!
- Player: I say!
- Fancy Dan: A little while ago we had some real problems getting rum to the island, hence the two stills.
- Fancy Dan: However, after a little misunderstanding involving San's still and a barrel of gunpowder our relationship seems to have become a little strained.
- Fancy Dan: Apparently it is perfectly within the pirate code to burn each others stills, so long as nobody directly attacks the other person's crew, so run production has taken a slight dip of late.
- Player: Can I help out?
- Fancy Dan: Yes, probably. I have a bunch of jobs that need doing, if you feel up to it.
- Fancy Dan: What would you like to know about?
- Select an option
- Brewing 'Rum
- Player: How do I help you brew 'Rum'?
- Fancy Dan: Well the stills we have set up are based on the ones on Braindeath Island... well roughly at any rate.
- Fancy Dan: All you have to do is help put the ingredients into the hopper and keep the boilers burning.
- Fancy Dan: If you add enough ingredients to the hopper's then you have the ability to pick up a single bottle of rum when it brews.
- Fancy Dan: So, if ye add 5 buckets of water to the hopper's, then ye get access to one bottle. If you add 3 bowls of coloured water you get access to one bottle, and if you add one of anything else you get access to one bottle.
- Fancy Dan: This is cumulative, meaning that if you add (for example ) 10 buckets of water, 3 sweetgrubs and 6 bowls of coloured water, then you have a chance to collect 7 bottles of rum for the team.
- Fancy Dan: The boilers are easy as pie to sort out. You just put some logs in, light them with a tinderbox, and then keep putting logs in until they are good and hot.
- Fancy Dan: Three logs should do it, but it's best to keep heaping them in just in case.
- Fancy Dan: The ingredients are; Bitternuts, Scrapey Tree Bark, Sweetgrubs, Buckets of Water and some Coloured Water.
- Select an option
- Where can I get Bitternuts?
- Player: Where can I get Bitternuts?
- Fancy Dan: There are plenty of Bitternut trees inside this walled off area. The problem is that the trees are too tricky for a human to climb.
- Fancy Dan: You will need to catch a monkey and send it up the tree to get the nut for you.
- Player: Send it up the tree? How does that work?
- Fancy Dan: Well, if you were a monkey, and some random person grabbed you, dumped some dye in your fur and shoved you up a tree, you would hurl the closest heavy object at them too.
- Player: Wait a second, dye?
- Fancy Dan: Yes, you'll need to get a bowl of coloured water and pour it on the monkey. Otherwise you won't be able to tell which team the monkey belongs to.
- Player : That makes sense...I think...
- Fancy Dan: Anything else?
- Where can I get Scrapey Tree Bark?
- Player: Where can I get Scrapey tree bark...and why do I get the feeling I won't like the answer?
- Fancy Dan: Inside this walled area there are a few Scrapey trees. They are the big, ill looking ones, you can't miss them.
- Fancy Dan: Basically, you cut them down and then carve the bark off with a knife.
- Fancy Dan: It's pretty simple, except the sap tends so make people feel kind of ill if they get any on themselves.
- Player: How ill?
- Fancy Dan: Don't worry, we aren't talking deadly ill or anything.
- Fancy Dan: It's more like you'll feel quite dizzy and weak for a bit.
- Player: Joy...
- Fancy Dan: Anything else?
- Where can I get Sweetgrubs?
- Player: Sweetgrubs? What are they?
- Fancy Dan: Well, lacking any sluglings in the area, we add these little grubs called Sweetgrubs. If you ignore the gag-inducing aftertaste, they are quite sweet.
- Player: How... how can you drink the stuff?
- Fancy Dan: Quite easily!
- Fancy Dan: Pirates are renowned as being tough for a reason.
- Player: So where do I get these grubs from anyway?
- Fancy Dan: Well, there are a few sweetgrub mounds inside there. We have a handful of rat meat that you can use on the mounds to draw the grubs to the surface.
- Fancy Dan: Mind your fingers though, they are voracious little things.
- Player: And here was me thinking that nothing could be more disgusting than Braindeath 'Rum'.
- Captain Braindeath: Arr, that's where ye'd be wrong lad, 'cos new, improved Braindeath 'Rum' Classic is now 200% more disgustin' then any leadin' competitor!
- Captain Braindeath: Legal disclaimer; the dangerous amount of disgustin' in new Braindeath 'Rum' Classic be too much for pregnant women, donkeys and anyone with more than seven letters in their last name.
- Player: What was that?
- Fancy Dan: What was what?
- Fancy Dan: Is there anything else?
- Where can I get buckets of water?
- Player: How do I get...
- Player: Wait, no, that question makes me sound like I haven't a clue what I'm doing.
- Player: Where can I get buckets in there?
- Fancy Dan: There are a few lying about. Help yourself.
- Fancy Dan: There is a pump in the still, so long as it's working you should have almost unlimited water.
- Player: Hold on, do I have to add anything disgusting and/or potential lethal to the water before I pour it in?
- Fancy Dan: Perish the thought!
- Player: Ok, just checking.
- Fancy Dan: Anything else?
- Where can I get coloured water?
- Player: What sort of coloured water are we talking about here?
- Fancy Dan: Well, the other still has an area of waste ground with a flower growing on it. If you go and grab one of the flowers and jam it in the kettle, the water will boil out the colour.
- Fancy Dan: We use the colour to keep our rum easily identifiable.
- Player: So I just empty the kettle into the hopper, right?
- Fancy Dan: No, no, you'll need to take an empty bowl and fill it from the kettle.
- Fancy Dan: That way you can use the stuff on a monkey if you need to.
- Player: Use it on a monkey...of course.
- Fancy Dan: Anything else?
- Repairing the Still
- Player: How do I repair the still?
- Fancy Dan: Well, assuming those scurvy dogs have managed to set any of it on fire, then you will need to tip a bucket of water on it before you can repair it.
- Fancy Dan: Then, it all comes down to what part of it was damaged.
- Select an option
- How do I repair Hoppers?
- Player: How can I repair hoppers?
- Fancy Dan: Well, assuming that they are not on fire, all you need to do is use the heavy lumber patches. They are big enough to cover most holes.
- Player: Will I need a hammer?
- Fancy Dan: No, just shove it into place and whack it until it lines up.
- Fancy Dan: Anything else?
- How do I repair Pipes and the pump?
- Player: How do I repair pipes and the pump?
- Fancy Dan: Well, if you use a pipe section on the damaged part you should be able to replace it easily.
- Player: Will I need a hammer?
- Fancy Dan: No, likely you'll just need to whack the old one out and slot the new one in with your hands.
- Fancy Dan: Anything else?
- How do I repair Bridges?
- Player: How do I repair bridges?
- Fancy Dan: Well, we have these handy bridge sections you can use to repair the bridges.
- Fancy Dan: The main problem is, while a still will keep working if a bit of it is only damaged, the bridges are completely out of commission if they are even slightly damaged.
- Player: Is that going to be a problem? I mean, I can jump across I think.
- Fancy Dan: Don't try that! Our lawyers tell us we aren't covered for injuries sustained while jumping over burned bridges.
- Fancy Dan: Seriously, just keep off the bridges until they are fixed.
- Fancy Dan: Anything else?
- How do I get repair items?
- Player: Where do I get all this stuff anyway?
- Fancy Dan: We have a load of items already on a table inside the still. You can also make new ones if you grab some logs.
- Player: How does that work?
- Fancy Dan: We have a worktable set up in the still. If you use the logs in it can craft up a handy replacement for part of the still.
- Fancy Dan: Don't worry about them fitting, the things are held together by nails, replacement parts and soot by now.
- Player: Well...how sanitary...
- Fancy Dan: Anything else?
- Ok, I think I've heard enough
- Player: Ok, I think I've heard enough.
- Fancy Dan: Fine. Glad I could help.
- (Dialogue ends)
- Sabotaging San's Still
- Player: So...how would I go about sabotaging the enemy still?
- Fancy Dan: Ok, here's what you need to do.
- Fancy Dan: The wood around here is really dry and flammable, so take one of the torches, light it up, and then go and attack the enemy still with it.
- Player: That's it?
- Fancy Dan: Most of their still is soaked in 'alcohol' and made from tinder dry wood.
- Fancy Dan: Essentially, if it isn't ours, try using a torch on it and see what happens.
- Player: Ok, I get you.
- Fancy Dan: Anything else?
- What will you pay me?
- Player: So what will you give me for helping out?
- Fancy Dan: Hahahaha! What a mercenary attitude! You'll do fine here.
- Fancy Dan: Well, for each bottle that your team produces, I'll give you one piece of eight.
- Fancy Dan: If you managed to set something on fire then I'll toss in another, same for repairing the still.
- Player: What can I use these pieces of eight for?
- Fancy Dan: See Honest Jimmy there? He will trade you some pretty nice stuff for them.
- Player: Great!
- Fancy Dan: Anything else?
- Ok, I think I've heard enough
- Player: Ok, I think I've heard enough.
- Fancy Dan: Fine. Glad I could help.
- (Dialogue ends)