Dialogue for Ernie

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Standard[edit | edit source]

  • Ernie: Hello! I'm Ernie the urn collector!
  • Player: Hello, I'm Player.
  • Ernie: Do you have any urns?
    • What are urns?
      • Player: What are urns?
      • Ernie: You don't know what an urn is? Inconceivable!
      • Ernie: Urns are big, magical pots. You keep them in your bag, and they collect scraps and wastage while you perform activities that are related to that urn.
      • Ernie: For example, a fishing urn collects guppies while your attention is on larger catches.
      • Ernie: Once it's full, you can teleport the urn to me!
      • Ernie: Sweet little guppies...
    • Why would I want to give you any urns?
      • Player: Why would I want to give you any urns?
      • Ernie: Why wouldn't you, more to the point?
      • Player: No, why would I want to send you my full urns?
      • Ernie: Oh...for a reward, of course!
      • Ernie: You see, I've seen a lot in my lifetime; I have some tricks of the trade to share with you.
      • Ernie: You send me an urn, I reward you with know-how regarding the skill type of your urn. Some might call it...gaining experience.
      • Player: That's a strange way to phrase it.
    • How do I make urns?
      • Player: How do I make urns?
      • Ernie: Oh, just use some soft clay on the pottery wheel and then fire the results in the pottery oven downstairs. Urns are big, so you'll need two batches of clay per urn.
      • Ernie: Before you can start gathering scraps in your urn, you must attach a rune to it. This dissipates when you teleport the urn to me. Then I gather the precious, wonderful materials.
      • Ernie: If you get stuck, just show me where you've got to and I'll give you some advice. You can also hand full urns to me in person, if you'd prefer.
    • Why do you want urns?
      • Player: Why do you want urns?
      • Ernie: Why? WHY?
      • Player: Yes. Why?
      • Ernie: Oh, I...couldn't possibly say.
      • Player: I'm sure you could tell me.
      • Ernie: No, no. It's a secret, tasty experiment. You must never know.
    • I'd like more information about a specific urn.
      • Player: I'd like more information about a specific urn.
      • Ernie: Certainly. I am a bit of an expert, after all.
        • Prayer urns.
          • Ernie: Prayer urns scoop up the ashes left behind when you slay demonic creatures.
          • Ernie: Weaker demons leave impious ashes behind. Scarier demonic beasties leave accursed ashes, and the most dangerous demons leave infernal ashes. Scrum-diddly-umptious.
          • Ernie: With lower Crafting levels, you are able to create impious urns, which collect impious ashes. Get your skill level up and you'll be able to make urns that collect a smorgasbord of ash types.
        • Fishing urns.
          • Ernie: Ah, fishing urns! These collect my favourite little fish: guppies! All you need to do is keep the urn in your bag when you are fishing, and it'll gather up the delicious little guppies each time you make a catch.
          • Ernie: Cracked fishing urns, made with lower Crafting levels, only collect guppies when fishing at level 10 or below. Higher level urns collect the brave guppies that swim around higher level fish.
          • Ernie: When you are a master crafter, you will be able to make decorated fishing urns. These collect guppies from any kind of fish that you can think of!
        • Cooking urns.
          • Ernie: Cooking urns collect lip-smacking food scraps while you are cooking on a fire or range.
          • Ernie: Cracked cooking urns, made with lower Crafting levels, collect food scraps from meals that require a Cooking level of 10 or below.
          • Ernie: Decorated cooking urns, made at the very highest Crafting levels, collect scraps from even the most complex of meals. These scraps are integral to my experiment!
          • Player: Experiment?
          • Ernie: Who told you about my experiment? Whatever you've heard is a lie!
        • Mining urns.
          • Ernie: Magical mining urns! These collect slivers of ore from the rocks you mine.
          • Ernie: Cracked urns, made at the lower end of the Crafting scale, will magnetically attract slivers of ore that require a Mining level of 1.
          • Ernie: Higher quality urns collect slivers of ore from higher level ores. When you're skilled enough to make decorated mining urns, you'll gather slivers from any ore that you could swing a pickaxe at!
        • Smelting urns.
          • Ernie: Smelting urns collect metal scraps while you smelt bars.
          • Ernie: Lower level urns only collect metal scraps from bars that require a Smithing level of 1. The highest level urns collect metal scraps from any bar, high level or low level, 'cept for chocolate bars. Trust me, I've tried.
          • Ernie: A note to you: I prefer better quality metal scraps. They contribute a more distinctive taste to my delicious experiment.
        • Woodcutting urns.
          • Ernie: Woodcutting urns! Wonderful things! These collect tasty woodchips when you chop wood.
          • Ernie: While you are a crafter at lower levels, you will only be able to make cracked urns. These collect woodchips while you chop wood up to a Woodcutting level of 10.
          • Ernie: When you are a master of the crafting art, you'll be able to make decorated woodcutting urns that collect from even the hardiest of logs.
          • Ernie: Woodchips from magic trees make my lips tingle. I thought you'd like to know.
        • Divination urns.
          • Ernie: Wonderful divination urns! Wonderful things! These collect memory fragments.
          • Ernie: While you are crafting at lower levels, you will only be able to make cracked urns. These collect memory fragments up to a Divination level of 10.
          • Ernie: When you are a master of the crafting art, you'll be able to make decorated divination urns that collect from even the greatest of memories.
          • Ernie: You might also want to know that these will collect extra special fragments when you deposit memories into a crater!
        • Runecrafting urns.
          • Ernie: Runecrafting urns collect rune remnants when utilising rune essence.
          • Ernie: Lower level urns will collect remnants from anything up to level 9. The highest level urns collect remnants from almost anything!
        • Hunter urns.
          • Ernie: Ah hunter urns! These ones collect integument iotas from little critters.
          • Ernie: Cracked urns, made at the lower end of the Crafting scale, will be able to collect iotas from creatures that require a Hunter level of 11.
          • Ernie: If you manage to catch some of the big guys, you'll find my urns filling up in no time!
        • Farming urns.
          • Ernie: Farming urns collect the left over cuttings when farming.
          • Ernie: The lowest level urns will work for anything up to level 12.
        • I have a few questions about urns in general.
          • Returns to previous text choices
    • That's all, thank you.
      • Player: That's all, thank you.
      • Ernie: Good bye!

Using urns on Ernie[edit | edit source]

Clay[edit | edit source]

  • Ernie: That clay is far too hard. You'll need to mix it with water before you have clay suitable for making urns.

Soft clay[edit | edit source]

  • Ernie: Ah, lovely clay! You'll need two batches of this, then you can use a potter's wheel to make a beautiful urn!

Unfired urn[edit | edit source]

  • Ernie: Ah, this urn hasn't been fired! You'll need to take that to a pottery oven. Feel free to use the one downstairs.

Fired urn[edit | edit source]

  • Ernie: This urn has been fired. You can trade it now, or if you want to use it, you'll need to add a rune to it.
    • Prayer urn
      • Ernie: This is a prayer urn, so you'll need an air rune to activate it.
    • Fishing urn
      • Ernie: This is a fishing urn, so you'll need a water rune to activate it.
    • Cooking urn
      • Ernie: This is a cooking urn, so you'll need a fire rune to activate it.
    • Divination urn
      • Ernie: This is a divination urn, so you'll need a mind rune to activate it.
    • Farming urn
      • Ernie: This is a farming urn, so you'll need a nature rune to activate it.
    • Mining urn
      • Ernie: This is a Mining urn, so you'll need an earth rune to activate it.
    • Smelting urn
      • Ernie: This is a smelting urn, so you'll need a fire rune to activate it.
    • Hunter urn
      • Ernie: This is a hunter urn, so you'll need a mud rune to activate it.
    • Woodcutting urn
      • Ernie: This is a woodcutting urn, so you'll need an earth rune to activate it.
    • Runecrafting urn
      • Ernie: This is a runecrafting urn, so you'll need some pure essence to activate it.

Activated urn[edit | edit source]

  • Ernie: I see you've activated this urn with a rune.
    • Prayer urn
      • Ernie: This is a prayer urn, so you should slay some demons to start filling the urn with ashes.
    • Fishing urn
      • Ernie: This is a fishing urn, so you should take it with you when you go fishing to start collecting guppies.
    • Cooking urn
      • Ernie: This is a cooking urn, so you should keep it with you when you are cooking to start collecting food scraps.
    • Divination urn
      • Ernie: This is a divination urn, so you should take it with you when you harvest memories to start collecting fragments.
    • Farming urn
      • Ernie: This is a farming urn, so you should take it with you when you harvest your plants to start collecting cuttings.
    • Mining urn
      • Ernie: This is a Mining urn, so you should take it with you when you go mining to start collecting ore slivers.
    • Smelting urn
      • Ernie: This is a smelting urn, so you should keep it with you when you are smithing to start collecting metal scraps.
    • Hunter urn
      • Ernie: This is a hunter urn, so you should take it with you when you go hunting to start collecting iotas.
    • Woodcutting urn
      • Ernie: This is a woodcutting urn, so you should take it with you when you go woodcutting to start collecting woodchips.
    • Runecrafting urn
      • Ernie: This is a runecrafting urn, so you should take it with you when you bind rune essence to start collecting remnants.

Partially-filled urn[edit | edit source]

  • Ernie: This urn isn't ready yet. Please come back when it's full.

Full urn[edit | edit source]

  • Ernie: A lovely full urn! Let me take that off your hands.
  • Ernie: You know, you can teleport your full urns straight to me if you're too busy to come back here.
  • You hand Ernie the urn. You gain (number) (Skill) XP.