Transcript of Ernest v. Professor Oddenstein

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This transcript involves dialogue with Clerk, Judge, Prosecutor, Defender, Ernest, Professor Oddenstein, Veronica, Ava, and the player.

Court documents[edit | edit source]

Court summons[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:Court summons (Ernest v. Professor Oddenstein).

Court summons

You have been summoned to the Seers' Village courthouse to work on the case of Ernest vs Professor Oddenstein. Please present yourself to the court clerk at your earliest convenience.

Character background[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:Case report 1 (Ernest v. Professor Oddenstein).

Suspect: Oddenstein
Background: The professor, a successful inventor, has opened a portal into another dimension. He is cagey about his current project, codenamed 'The Pouletmorph Machine'.

Victim: Ernest
Background: Appears to be eager but gullible. He is currently engaged to Veronica.

Witness 1: Veronica
Background: Veronica is eager to get married but has trouble keeping track of Ernest.

Witness 2: Ava
Background: Rather cynical and hard to get a straight answer from. Doesn't seem to work closely with Oddenstein, and is more interested in her own experiments.

Highly recommended that further interviews are conducted by lawyers attending the case.

Circumstances and evidence[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:Case report 2 (Ernest v. Professor Oddenstein).

Suspect: Professor Oddenstein
Case Background: Ernest is bringing suit against Prof. Oddenstein for unlawfully turning him (Ernest) into a chicken.

Initial investigation was conducted. Four people were interviewed:
Prof. Oddenstein (courthouse)
Assistant Ava (Draynor Manor)
Veronica (outside Draynor Manor)
Ernest (courthouse)

Little conclusive evidence was gathered.

Highly recommended that further interviews are conducted by lawyers attending the case.

Crime scene viewing orb[edit | edit source]

View Crime scene viewing orb

  • The scene fades out and the Player is taken to the crime scene at the top floor of Draynor Manor

Using Magnifying glass on various items in the scene

  • Nothing interesting happens

Using Magnifying glass on the Strange machine

  • You find some grey hair on the machine.
  • Player: The hair matches the description of Oddenstein's hair.

Using Magnifying glass on the Feather

  • Player: It's definitely a chicken feather.

Using Magnifying glass on the Sack

  • You find a fingerprint on the chickenfeed.
  • Fingerprint match interface comes up
  • You have discovered a matching fingerprint.

Investigating the Sack

  • Player: The sack says 'chickenfeed'. Odd to have that in a laboratory.

End-viewing Crime scene viewing orb

  • The scene fades out and the Player leaves the crime scene

Pre-Trial[edit | edit source]

Starting the case[edit | edit source]

Talking to the Clerk about the Court summons

  • Clerk: Would you like to defend or prosecute?
    • Defend.
      • (continues below)
    • Prosecute.
      • (continues below)
  • Clerk: Look in the filing cabinet by my desk for more details on your case. When you feel prepared, use the stairs to enter the courtroom.
  • (dialogue terminates)

Searching the File cabinet

  • You search the filing cabinet and find some information relevant to your case.
  • Case reports 1, 2, and a Crime scene viewing orb are placed in your inventory

After reading Case report 2

  • Player: Hmm, I should probably interview all the people involved in the case. I might have more luck getting information out of them than the police did.

Talking to Professor Oddenstein[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi, I'm investigating allegations that you illegally transmogrified Ernest into a chicken.
  • Professor Oddenstein: Harrumph! You government busybodies, always getting in the way of scientific discovery. Next thing you know, my assistant will be suing me for making her work!
    • The chicken incident.
      • Player: What can you tell me about the alleged chicken incident?
      • Professor Oddenstein: There's nothing to tell! The lad Ernest agreed to help me test my 'Pouletmorph Machine'. He knew the risks involved, and I explained the experiment to him beforehand.
      • Player: So, you really did turn him into a chicken?
      • Professor Oddenstein: That's not the point! The point is that he knew, beforehand, that it was going to happen. I listed all of the side effects and he jumped at the chance.
      • Player: You can't ADMIT to turning him into a chicken! We'll lose the case if you do that. Perhaps it never happened? It was only you two in the room: it's his story against yours. Was there anyone else?
      • Professor Oddenstein: No, it was just the two of us. My assistant Ava was unpacking her things in another room.
    • The machine.
      • Player: Tell me about the machine you allegedly used to transform Ernest.
      • Professor Oddenstein: Well, it started off as a time machine, and then became a monster generator. I tend to re-use machines, to save money, but that can lead to complications. The machine was supposed to do general transmutations, but I named it the 'Pouletmorph Machine' once it became apparent that only chickens were being produced.
    • Science.
      • Player: Do you often use humans in your experiments?
      • Professor Oddenstein: They're preferable, but hard to come by. It was fate that brought Ernest into my room at the moment I wanted to test my machine. Once I asked his permission, he said he didn't have any thing better to do. I can't say I really listened, I was making the finishing touches to the machine.
    • I don't have any more questions.
      • Player: I don't have any more questions.

Talking to Ernest[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Wait, you've brought charges against Oddenstein. Why are YOU in jail?
  • Ernest: I'm considered a flight risk. The guards laughed after saying it, so I think it's yet another chicken joke. I've been hearing a lot of those recently.
  • Player: Okay then, I'm here to cross eggs-amine you before the
  • Ernest: Very good. That's a lovely chicken pun you have there. Just ask me your questions and move along.
    • The chicken incident.
      • Player: Could you tell me what happened to you?
      • Ernest: Veronica and I were on our way to Falador to get married. We got lost near Draynor Manor, so I said I'd nip in to get directions. After exploring a bit, I found Professor Oddenstein in his laboratory. He was tinkering on a machine and, when I introduced myself and asked for directions, he pulled a lever. The next thing I remember is waking up on the floor, covered in feathers and with a strong craving for chickenfeed.
      • Player: So, you don't actually remember being a chicken?
      • Ernest: Not exactly, no.
    • The laboratory.
      • Player: What can you remember about Professor Oddenstein's laboratory?
      • Ernest: Not much. I remember he was tinkering with a machine when I walked in, and he briefly mentioned that he was working on something strange - a time machine or something. He asked if I'd like to help him, but he'd pulled the lever before I had time to respond.
    • Marriage.
      • Player: I understand you're going to marry Veronica. When's the happy day?
      • Ernest: Soon, I think. We keep moving the date, as unfortunate things happen to us. One time I was ill, another time I got locked into a dungeon, and this time I got turned into a chicken after asking for directions in Draynor Manor. We've had the worst luck.
      • Player: Draynor Manor is pretty uninviting. Why didn't you go to the village just to the south?
      • Ernest: Are you kidding? Draynor Manor looked so exciting! I wanted to explore it all, find out its secrets. Besides, it's not like we couldn't postpone the wedding if something happened to me.
    • I don't have any more questions.
      • Player: I don't have any more questions.

Talking to Ava[edit | edit source]

  • I'd like to speak to you about a court case I'm researching.
    • Player: I'm investigating allegations against Professor Oddenstein that he illegally transmogrified Ernest into a chicken. I'd like to ask you a few questions.
    • Ava: Is this really necessary? I have science to do!
    • Player: I'm afraid so. Part of court procedure.
      • The chicken incident.
        • Player: Could you tell me what you know about the chicken incident?
        • Ava: What's there to tell? I was moving in at the time. I never saw Ernest, or anyone else for that matter; there was just a chicken running around the laboratory, and I thought it was the Professor's pet. He'd named it Ernest and was chasing it about.
        • Player: You thought a chicken named Ernest was his pet? It didn't occur to you it was a human in chicken shape?
        • Ava: Perhaps you are a chicken in human shape! Look, as far as I could tell, the chicken was a chicken. When I didn't see the chicken around any more, I just thought the professor had eaten it or something.
      • The professor.
        • Player: What can you tell me about the Professor?
        • Ava: He's eccentric, but that's the sign of a good scientist. I haven't been working here long, but he doesn't seem to need my help often, so I can pursue my own research uninterrupted.
        • Player: What do you and the professor research?
        • Ava: I don't know what he's working on at the minute, but his past research has focused on time and space manipulation. Bread and butter stuff, really. My current line of research involves necroballistics. I recently invented a backpack that accumulates arrows: very much next generation technology.
      • Science.
        • Player: What kind of experiments has the professor done?
        • Ava: The professor can be secretive. His past projects have focused mostly on the manipulation of space and time. That's how he managed to open a portal to another dimension.
        • Player: Do you know of him attempting to transmogrify people?
        • Ava: To be honest, it's a field of science that's slightly below the professor. I saw no equipment in the lab to suggest that he was attempting transmogrification.
        • Player: What kind of experiments do you do?
        • Ava: My current line of research involves improving equipment and weapons with a fusion of magic and science. I recently invented a backpack that accumulates arrows you've shot.
        • Player: Where do you stand on human test subjects?
        • Ava: I heartily encourage it. We've got a pool of gullible adventurers to draw from, so why not use them? They're always willing, as long as there's a reward on the table.
        • Player: Doesn't it strike you as cruel?
        • Ava: Not really.
      • I don't have any more questions.
        • Player: I don't have any more questions.

Talking to Veronica[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello, I'm investigating allegations that Professor Oddenstein illegally transmogrified Ernest into a chicken.
  • Veronica: Transmogra-what?
  • Player: Sorry, I can't help talking like a real lawyer sometimes. Ernest says Professor Oddenstein turned him into a chicken. I'd like to ask you a few questions about that.
  • Veronica: Oh, of course! Go ahead.
    • The chicken incident.
      • Player: Can you tell me about the chicken incident?
      • Veronica: Sure! We were heading to Falador, but got lost on the way. Ernest saw lights on at Draynor Manor and went inside to ask for directions. When he came back out, which was quite some time later, he kept going on about being turned into a chicken. I thought he meant he was too 'chicken' to get married, but - silly me - he meant a real chicken!
    • Ernest.
      • Player: What can you tell me about Ernest?
      • Veronica: Oh, I can tell you loads! Ernest was quite the adventurer before we met but, now we're together, he'll have to settle down. Problem is, he's so kind-hearted and he's always helping out strange people who seem to get him in trouble. This business with Oddenstein was just the final candle on the fruit cake.
    • Marriage.
      • Player: I understand you and Ernest are to be married. When's the happy day?
      • Veronica: Any day now! We had to delay it AGAIN because of this trial silliness, but Ernest said that we'd get married afterwards. He promised: crossed his heart and hoped to
      • Player: The wedding was delayed before?
      • Veronica: Yeah. Ernest and I have the worst luck. Every time we set a date, something happens and Ernest gets himself into trouble. Just recently, he got trapped in Daemonheim, but it turned out the door key was in his pocket the whole time. Silly Ernest. This time round, we were on our way to get married when he went into Draynor Manor. He was a sweetheart and eager to get directions from someone in there.
    • I don't have any more questions.
      • Player: I don't have any more questions.

Entering the courtroom

  • Are you sure you're ready for court?
    • Yes
      • Screen fades out, and court begins
    • No
      • (dialogue terminates)

Trial[edit | edit source]

Commencement[edit | edit source]

Opening statement[edit | edit source]

Only if prosecuting.

  • (Transcript missing. edit)

The prosecution's case[edit | edit source]

Only if defending.

  • Prosecutor: Members of the Jury, I am going to present you with evidence that decisively proves Professor Oddenstein transmogrified Ernest into a chicken without his consent. First, I submit the chicken feather, found on the person of Professor Oddenstein. Why would a man of science have a chicken feather on him?
  • The Prosecution presents the feather as evidence.
  • Prosecutor: Second, the mysterious 'Pouletmorph Machine': the professor refuses to go into the details of the machine's workings, for fear of someone stealing his ideas, or so he says. It is more likely that it will incriminate him!
  • The Prosecution presents the 'Pouletmorph Machine' as evidence.
  • Prosecutor: Last, but certainly not least, fingerprints were found on the 'Pouletmorph Machine' and a bag of chickenfeed in the professor's laboratory. Members of the Jury, this man is guilty! The Prosecution calls Ernest.
  • Prosecutor: Ernest, could you please describe the events of the case as you know them?
  • Ernest: Well, Veronica and I got lost, so I went up to Draynor Manor to ask for directions. After finding the professor, the next thing I remember is waking up with feathers around me and a craving for chickenfeed.
  • Prosecutor: Did the Professor ask you if you wanted to be turned into a chicken?
  • Ernest: No, he certainly didn't.
  • Prosecutor: The Prosecution calls Ava.
  • Prosecutor: Miss Ava, I believe you observed some of the occurrences described by Ernest?
  • Ava: If you mean I saw a chicken running around the house,
  • Prosecutor: Did the chicken have a name?
  • Ava: Yes, the professor occasionally shouted 'Ernest, stop pecking the wires'!
  • Judge: I think that will be enough. It's time for you to summarise your case to the Jury.
  • Prosecutor: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I have presented evidence that conclusively proves the Defendant performed an illegal transmogrification on an innocent bystander. By stopping to ask for directions, Ernest only got more lost. The professor took advantage of this helpless man and forced him into an existence of pecking, strutting and clucking.

Talking to the judge[edit | edit source]

If all evidence has been presented:

Presenting evidence[edit | edit source]

Fingerprint[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • (Transcript missing. edit)

If defending:

  • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, while the Prosecution has chosen to assume that a fingerprint on a machine means guilt, I'd like to point something out. The fingerprint was found in the Defendant's own laboratory, and it'd be more surprising if his fingerprint was NOT found.

Feather[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • (Transcript missing. edit)

If defending:

  • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, if I could draw your attention to Prosecution Evidence #2: A feather.
    • This feather was found on my client.
      • Player: This feather was indeed found on my client. Now, stop and think about the number of times you use a feather: fletching, fishing, filling your mattresses, writing letters. We cannot assume that the feather is from a living, breathing chicken.
    • This is clearly a chicken feather.
      • Player: This is clearly a chicken feather, but what does that prove? Maybe he had a chicken dinner. That dinner obviously wasn't Ernest, since he's at court today!
    • No feathers were found on Ernest.
      • Player: More importantly, no feathers were found on Ernest. Surely, if Ernest had been a chicken, there would have been feathers on him!

Pouletmorph Machine[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • (Transcript missing. edit)

If defending:

  • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, if I could draw your attention to Prosecution Evidence #3: The 'Pouletmorph Machine'.
    • An unfortunate choice of name.
      • Player: My client's machine is unfortunately named, but the professor could never have imagined that he'd be on such a ludicrous charge. The professor has decided to not reveal its function, which is his right as a successful scientist.
    • Chicken-related, clearly, but not dangerous.
      • Player: The name indicates some chicken-related functionality, but that doesn't prove that the machine was involved. My client's history implies that his inventions tend towards dimensional and portal technology. He has no history of transmogrification.
    • A kitchen revolution!
      • Player: My client is clearly creating a machine that will revolutionize your kitchen! It doesn't transform people into chickens, it transforms chickens into tasty meals. My client has invented the chicken nugget!

Cross-Examination[edit | edit source]

Veronica[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • (Transcript missing. edit)

If defending:

  • The chicken incident.
    • Why were you at Draynor Manor?
      • Player: Why were you at Draynor Manor?
      • Veronica: Well, we were travelling and Ernest lost the map in a river. We saw the manor and Ernest thought someone might help with directions.
      • Player: Why didn't you go to Draynor Village, directly south of there. Surely that would have been more inviting?
      • Veronica: Ernest just loves to travel and explore. He'll change; I'll make sure of that.
    • Where did Ernest go?
      • Player: Where did Ernest go?
      • Veronica: Ernie went in to ask for directions, bless him. He likes to think he is protecting me, but he often gets himself into trouble that I have to sort, or get an adventurer to sort for me.
      • Player: Did he come back immediately?
      • Veronica: Not at all. He was gone a long, long time. That's not unusual, but it was still irritating.
    • What was Ernest like as a chicken?
      • Player: What was Ernest like as a chicken?
      • Veronica: I would have loved to see it, but unfortunately I never saw Ernest as a chicken. Instead, I'm left to put up with the curious chicken mannerisms he's got now. He pecks crumbs from my lap: it's embarassing.
      • Player: Wait, you never SAW him as a chicken?
      • Veronica: Nope!
      • Player: Then you can't be sure he was a chicken at all!
  • Ernest.
    • Is Ernest the adventuring type?
      • Player: Is Ernest the adventuring type?
      • Veronica: He's an adventurer, but not a successful one. I have plans to squeeze every last drop of adventure out of him. Just you wait.
    • Does Ernest help strangers often?
      • Player: Does Ernest help strangers often?
      • Veronica: I wouldn't call it 'helping' but Ernest has a habit of getting involved with other people's disputes, adventures and conversations. It rarely if ever ends well for him, bless his cotton socks.
      • Player: In your experience, does Ernest have a habit of exaggerating what has happened to him?
      • Veronica: I'm certain that he makes things up to impress me. What can I say? He's an adventurer, and adventurers can't help but exaggerate their achievements. It makes them feel special.
    • Did Ernest know Oddenstein before this incident?
      • Player: Did Ernest know Oddenstein before this incident?
      • Veronica: Not at all! I keep a log of all Ernest's friends and how long he spends with each of them, and I'm certain that Oddenstein's name isn't on there.
  • Marriage.
    • When are you getting married?
      • Player: When are you getting married?
      • Veronica: As soon as possible! We keep setting dates, but things crop up, like this silly misunderstanding. My parents say that Ernest has commitment issues, but I refuse to believe that. I'd kill him if it were true.
      • Player: So, your parents think he could be fabricating these stories to get out of the wedding?
      • Veronica: Don't you dare say that! He just needs a decent run up before he goes through with the wedding.
    • Is Ernest excited about the marriage?
      • Player: Is Ernest excited about the marriage?
      • Veronica: You cannot believe how excited he is! We've spent hours shopping for the right dress, the right flowers, the most beautiful doilies...
      • Player: Thank you, that's quite enough.
    • Was your marriage the reason you were walking by Draynor Manor?
      • Player: Was your marriage the reason you went walking by Draynor Manor?
      • Veronica: How did you know? We were headed to Falador to get Ernie a haircut before the wedding. We got lost of course, so we stopped off at the mansion for directions. Of course, by the time Ernest came back, we'd missed the appointment at the church, so we're not married just yet. I can guarantee that we will be in the next few months, though. On his head be it.
  • That's all, for now.
    • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.

Ernest[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • (Transcript missing. edit)

If defending:

  • The chicken incident.
    • What happened when you entered the manor?
      • Player: What happened when you entered the manor?
      • Ernest: I couldn't find anyone living on the bottom floors, but I came across plenty of unliving things! I got kicked by a chair and accosted by a skeleton: the usual haunted house stuff. Then I found the professor's room, up on the top floor.
      • Player: What happened then?
      • Ernest: I remember the Professor pulling a lever...and then nothing.
    • Tell us about being a chicken.
      • Player: Tell us about being a chicken.
      • Ernest: I don't really remember. One moment I walked into the professor's room, and the next I was surrounded by feathers, with a craving for chickenfeed. I lost some time inbetween, but I couldn't tell you how much.
      • Player: So, you don't actually know, for a fact, that you were a chicken? You could have just collapsed in a bed of feathers?
      • Ernest: I...I was a chicken! I can't remember being a chicken, but why else would there be feathers around?
      • Player: I've woken up with no memory, surrounded by beer glasses, but that doesn't mean I was transformed into a beer barrel, does it? Were you drinking that night, Mr Ernest?
      • Ernest: I most definitely was not!
    • What happened after you claim you were transformed back?
      • Player: What happened after you claim to have been transformed?
      • Ernest: Not much. My senses were a little dulled, but I got the feeling that someone else was in the room. I can only imagine that they were the ones who saved me from life as a chicken. Then I made my way outside, where my lovely Veronica was waiting.
  • The laboratory.
    • Who was in the laboratory?
      • Player: Who was in the laboratory?
      • Ernest: Just Professor Oddenstein. He was working, so I introduced myself and asked for directions.
      • Player: Had you met the professor before?
      • Ernest: Nope, most definitely not.
    • Did you see the 'Pouletmorph Machine'?
      • Player: Did you see the 'Pouletmorph Machine'
      • Ernest: There were plenty of machines, but none that really stood out. I think - but I'm not sure - that the machine you're talking about was being worked on by the professor. He mumbled something about it being a time travel machine, a monster generator and a few other things.
    • Did Professor Oddenstein talk to you about his work?
      • Player: Did Professor Oddenstein talk to you about his work?
      • Ernest: We didn't talk for long before he chickened me, but he mentioned something about a machine that he'd been working on. He asked if I wanted to be a part of his latest experiment.
      • Player: And what did you say?
      • Ernest: Virtually nothing! I was in the middle of replying when he yanked the lever. he didn't wait for me to reply at all.
  • Marriage.
    • When are you getting married?
      • Player: When are you getting married?
      • Ernest: It'll happen. Soon after the trial, I would imagine.
      • Player: That hasn't always been the plan, has it?
      • Ernest: Not really, no. We've been unlucky and got into a number of scrapes that have postponed each of our weddings. We've planned five separate weddings - that's not unusual, right?
    • Are you excited about the marriage?
      • Player: Are you excited about the marriage?
      • Ernest: Of course I am. I can't wait, and it will be lovely seeing Veronica's face at the altar. I just have a few things to do before I get there.
    • Was your marriage the reason you walked past Draynor Manor?
      • Player: Was your marriage the reason you walked past Draynor Manor?
      • Ernest: Kinda. You see, we were headed to Falador for last-minute wedding bits and pieces, and we got lost. Draynor Manor was close by, so I took the opportunity to ask for directions.
      • Player: Why would you choose to go to Draynor Manor rather than Draynor Village, Rimmington, or any other smaller settlements on the way?
      • Ernest: You're kidding, right? Draynor Manor is legendary: it's got all sorts of exciting things to check out, and I've never had the opportunity before.
      • Player: But you were on your way to the wedding! Ernest, I don't believe that you are accident-prone or given to bad luck - you're finding trouble on purpose!
      • Ernest: No, it really isn't like that! I mean, I may have been wasting a little time, and I MAY have been deliberately delaying the wedding, but I was a chicken. REALLY!
      • Player: If you lie to your fiance, there's little chance you won't lie to us.
  • That's all, for now.
    • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.

Professor Oddenstein[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • (Transcript missing. edit)

If defending:

  • The chicken incident.
    • Describe the events, as you know them, of the chicken incident.
      • Player: Describe the events, as you know them, of the chicken incident.
      • Professor Oddenstein: Well, I'd just transformed my toenail clippings into chicken drumsticks, and was fiddling with dials to tone down the fat content. That was when Ernest walked in. He mumbled something about directions and then lost interest once he saw the machines. I asked if he wanted to become my test subject, he said yes. I explained what was going to happen, he still said yes.
      • Player: What happened next?
      • Professor Oddenstein: Well, he turned into a chicken.
      • Player: I'm sorry, I think I misheard you.
      • Professor Oddenstein: I said he turned into a chicken!
    • Did you know Ernest previously?
      • Player: Did you know Ernest previously?
      • Professor Oddenstein: Not at all. He's not my usual crowd: a little too dim and gullible for my liking.
    • Did you explain the experiment in full?
      • Player: Did you explain the experiment in full?
      • Professor Oddenstein: That I did. I explained that I was testing a transmutation device, that I could do with a test subject, and that I would - probably - be able to undo any effects.
      • Player: So, Ernest knew exactly what he was getting himself into and disregarded the risk!
  • The machine.
    • Could you tell us more about the machine you were working on?
      • Player: Could you tell us more about the machine you were working on?
      • Professor Oddenstein: Certainly. It's a transfibrous wattleometer, which isn't very catchy, so I've adopted the name 'Pouletmorph Machine'. It's a pun, you see. It began life as a time machine, then a monster creation machine, and occasionally a doorstop. I reuse my materials, which can lead to strange side effects with my experiments.
    • Why is it called the 'Pouletmorph Machine'?
      • Player: Why is it called the 'Pouletmorph Machine'?
      • Professor Oddenstein: The plan was to turn household items into fully cooked meals, so people could recycle their junk and get a decent meal out of it. Unfortunately, only chicken was ever produced, and the chicken was generally very, very raw.
      • Player: When you say 'very, very raw', what do you mean, exactly?
      • Professor Oddenstein: I mean that, when I used the machine on someone or something, they turned into a live chicken.
    • Have you continued work on the machine?
      • Player: Have you continued work on the machine?
      • Professor Oddenstein: There must be a ghost in the machine: it's the only explanation. I've turned it into a coffee machine until I can figure out what's gone wrong.
  • Science.
    • What kind of experiments do you normally do?
      • Player: What kind of experiments do you normally do?
      • Professor Oddenstein: I like to work with all seven known dimensions, bending them into new and interesting shapes. Occasionally I like to whip up a meal too.
      • Player: So, transmutation was a new venture for you? It appears fraught with danger; I'm guessing that you took precautions?
      • Professor Oddenstein: Of course I did; I explained the risks to Ernest beforehand, if that's what you are getting at. Aside from getting Ernest to sign a waiver, I did everything in my power to keep him safe.
    • Where do you stand on human test subjects?
      • Player: Where do you stand on human test subjects?
      • Professor Oddenstein: Practicing on humans is akin to getting married: you can put it off again and again, but, ultimately, you will have to do it at some point. All you can do is make sure you are prepared and in the right frame of mind when you do.
      • Player: I take it you were prepared and in the right frame of mind with Ernest, then?
      • Professor Oddenstein: More prepared than he was, it seems. Yes, I was prepared, and I believed that I could turn him back if things went
    • Are you careful about the risks of experimentation?
      • Player: You are very careful about the risks of experimentation?
      • Professor Oddenstein: I am as careful as I can be. There are certain things I would never risk, for example. I wouldn't risk spilling a well-made cup of coffee, and I wouldn't risk meeting a clown. That's why I never go to the circus; clowns are beyond scary.
  • That's all, for now.
    • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.

Ava[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • (Transcript missing. edit)

If defending:

  • The chicken incident.
    • Why were you at Draynor Manor?
      • Player: Why were you at Draynor Manor?
      • Ava: I was unpacking my room after passing my initiation. Professor Oddenstein obviously knows talent when he sees it, and gave me the position of his assistant.
      • Player: In the time you've been there, have you noticed anything odd?
      • Ava: Dancing chairs, skeletons in cupboards, witch neighbours: it depends what you classify as 'odd'. I can't think of anything that seemed odder than what I just mentioned.
    • Did you see Ernest?
      • Player: Did you see Ernest?
      • Ava: Not at all. You normally hear adventurers banging about the house, screaming and running. I didn't hear anything when Ernest supposedly came in.
      • Player: Perhaps you heard his voice? Maybe you saw his personal belongings?
      • Ava: I said no. I haven't changed my mind.
      • Player: Interesting! Ernest claimed to have been exploring Draynor Manor before being turned into a chicken; perhaps he was never there to begin with, and was just trying to ditch his fiance!
    • Did you see a chicken?
      • Player: Did you see a chicken?
      • Ava: Yeah, I did. I assumed it was the Evil Chicken, until Oddenstein started talking to it.
      • Player: Did the chicken have a name?
      • Ava: The professor called it by the name of 'Ernest'. It kept pecking at the professor's wires and soiling the floor.
      • Player: Uh, that could have been a coincidence! It could have been a pet chicken, ironically named Ernest.
      • Ava: Yes, and my next experiment will involve putting wings on pigs.
  • The professor.
    • How do you like working for the Professor?
      • Player: How do you like working for the professor?
      • Ava: He gets on with his work and rarely needs me, strangely enough. That's how I like it. I get to work on my own stuff and we occasionally share materials and findings.
    • Have you known the professor long?
      • Player: Have you known the professor long?
      • Ava: Only as long as I've been employed by him. I answered an ad in the Draynor Village bank and got the job on first interview. He seems eccentric, but that's a badge of merit in mad scientist circles.
      • Player: Is he well-respected among the scientific community?
      • Ava: They did a four-page spread in a scientific journal last month. Seems that portals to the killowatt realm are all the rage nowadays.
    • Has the professor tried any experiments on you?
      • Player: Has the professor tried any experiments on you?
      • Ava: He would never try it, if he knows what's good for him. I'm a helper, a muse and a confidant all rolled into one. Adventurers and lost strangers are the ones he should be testing on.
  • Science.
    • What kind of experiments has the professor done?
      • Player: What kind of experiments has the professor done?
      • Ava: He's secretive about any current experiments. I'd guess that he's superstitious and doesn't want to curse them. Previously he's been tampering with time and space, dimensionality and phasing. That sort of mumbo jumbo.
      • Player: Do you know if he's ever transmogrified anyone?
      • Ava: Transmogrifying something is a step on the path to being a mad scientist, like dissecting a frog or reanimating a corpse. You have to try it at least once. Has he been doing it recently, though? I don't think so.
    • What kind of experiments do you do?
      • Player: What kind of experiments do you do?
      • Ava: My current line of research involves improving equipment and weapons with a fusion of magic and science. I recently invented a backpack that accumulates arrows you've shot.
      • Player: So, you don't have much interest in transforming people?
      • Ava: I got out of that phase pretty early. I'm more interested in the psychology of adventurers, and the practical applications of an undead feather.
    • Where do you stand on human test subjects?
      • Player: Where do you stand on human test subjects?
      • Ava: If they are willing and gullible, I'd say they are fair game. No-one will miss the odd adventurer.
      • Player: Doesn't it strike you as cruel?
      • Ava: Not really. But, I'm sure that human test subjects will be harder to come by after this fiasco.
  • That's all, for now.
    • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.

All evidence presented[edit | edit source]

If the player has received one positive or negative jury response for each piece of evidence:

  • Judge: You've presented all your evidence, it is now time to move on to witnesses.

All evidence presented and witnesses interviewed[edit | edit source]

If the player has received one positive or negative jury response for each piece of evidence and each witness:

  • Judge: I think that's enough. It's time for you to summarise your case to the Jury.

Summary[edit | edit source]

The prosecution's case[edit | edit source]

Only if defending

  • (Transcript missing. edit)

Only if prosecuting

  • (Transcript missing. edit)

The defence's case[edit | edit source]

Only if defending

  • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, the Prosecution have presented no evidence that the 'victim' was ever a chicken, or that the professor made him that way.
  • Player: We cannot accuse elderly gentlemen of crimes based on circumstantial evidence. This case should never have gotten this far.

Only if prosecuting

  • (Transcript missing. edit)

Pronouncing Verdict[edit | edit source]

After a successful verdict[edit | edit source]