Transcript of Ernest v. Professor Oddenstein

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This transcript or section is incomplete and could do with improvement.
Reason: Missing jury reactions, prosecutor's summary & defence summary on defence side
You can discuss this issue on the talk page or edit this page to improve it.
This transcript involves dialogue with Clerk, Judge, Prosecutor, Defender, The Jury, Ernest, Professor Oddenstein, Veronica, Ava, and the player.

Court documents[edit | edit source]

Court summons[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:Court summons (Ernest v. Professor Oddenstein).

Court summons

You have been summoned to the Seers' Village courthouse to work on the case of Ernest vs Professor Oddenstein. Please present yourself to the court clerk at your earliest convenience.

Character background[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:Case report 1 (Ernest v. Professor Oddenstein).

Suspect: Oddenstein
Background: The professor, a successful inventor, has opened a portal into another dimension. He is cagey about his current project, codenamed 'The Pouletmorph Machine'.

Victim: Ernest
Background: Appears to be eager but gullible. He is currently engaged to Veronica.

Witness 1: Veronica
Background: Veronica is eager to get married but has trouble keeping track of Ernest.

Witness 2: Ava
Background: Rather cynical and hard to get a straight answer from. Doesn't seem to work closely with Oddenstein, and is more interested in her own experiments.

Highly recommended that further interviews are conducted by lawyers attending the case.

Circumstances and evidence[edit | edit source]

The following text is transcluded from Transcript:Case report 2 (Ernest v. Professor Oddenstein).

Suspect: Professor Oddenstein
Case Background: Ernest is bringing suit against Prof. Oddenstein for unlawfully turning him (Ernest) into a chicken.

Initial investigation was conducted. Four people were interviewed:
Prof. Oddenstein (courthouse)
Assistant Ava (Draynor Manor)
Veronica (outside Draynor Manor)
Ernest (courthouse)

Little conclusive evidence was gathered.

Highly recommended that further interviews are conducted by lawyers attending the case.

Pre-Trial[edit | edit source]

Starting the case[edit | edit source]

Talking to the Clerk about the Court summons[edit | edit source]

Searching the File cabinet[edit | edit source]

Crime scene viewing orb[edit | edit source]

View Crime scene viewing orb

  • The scene fades out and the Player is taken to the crime scene at the top floor of Draynor Manor

Using Magnifying glass on various items in the scene

  • Nothing interesting happens

Using Magnifying glass on the Strange machine

  • You find some grey hair on the machine.
  • Player: The hair matches the description of Oddenstein's hair.

Using Magnifying glass on the Feather

  • Player: It's definitely a chicken feather.

Using Magnifying glass on the Sack

  • You find a fingerprint on the chickenfeed.
  • Fingerprint match interface comes up
  • You have discovered a matching fingerprint.

Investigating the Sack

  • Player: The sack says 'chickenfeed'. Odd to have that in a laboratory.

End-viewing Crime scene viewing orb

  • The scene fades out and the Player leaves the crime scene

After reading Case report 2[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hmm, I should probably interview all the people involved in the case. I might have more luck getting information out of them than the police did.

Talking to Professor Oddenstein[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • Player: Hi, I'm investigating allegations that you illegally transmogrified Ernest into a chicken.
  • Professor Oddenstein: Harrumph! You government busybodies, always getting in the way of scientific discovery. Next thing you know, my assistant will be suing me for making her work!
  • Ask about:
    • The chicken incident.
      • Player: What can you tell me about the alleged chicken incident?
      • Professor Oddenstein: There's nothing to tell! The lad Ernest agreed to help me test my 'Pouletmorph Machine'. He knew the risks involved, and I explained the experiment to him beforehand.
      • Player: So, you really did turn him into a chicken?
      • Professor Oddenstein: That's not the point! The point is that he knew, beforehand, that it was going to happen. I listed all of the side effects and he jumped at the chance.
      • Player: Well, you've just made the case easier. You've made a full confession!
      • Professor Oddenstein: You should study your law better, young one! The issue isn't that I turned him into a chicken, it's that I did it illegally, without his consent. Which I didn't. I explained the experiment to him. In fact, I bet he doesn't even remember BEING a chicken.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • The machine.
      • Player: Tell me about the machine you allegedly used to transform Ernest.
      • Professor Oddenstein: Well, it started off as a time machine, and then became a monster generator. I tend to re-use machines, to save money, but that can lead to complications. The machine was supposed to do general transmutations, but I named it the 'Pouletmorph Machine' once it became apparent that only chickens were being produced.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • Science.
      • Player: Do you often use humans in your experiments?
      • Professor Oddenstein: They're preferable, but hard to come by. It was fate that brought Ernest into my room at the moment I wanted to test my machine. Once I asked his permission, he said he didn't have any thing better to do. I can't say I really listened, I was making the finishing touches to the machine.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • I don't have any more questions.
      • Player: I don't have any more questions.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

If defending:

  • Player: Hi, I'm investigating allegations that you illegally transmogrified Ernest into a chicken.
  • Professor Oddenstein: Harrumph! You government busybodies, always getting in the way of scientific discovery. Next thing you know, my assistant will be suing me for making her work!
  • Ask about:
    • The chicken incident.
      • Player: What can you tell me about the alleged chicken incident?
      • Professor Oddenstein: There's nothing to tell! The lad Ernest agreed to help me test my 'Pouletmorph Machine'. He knew the risks involved, and I explained the experiment to him beforehand.
      • Player: So, you really did turn him into a chicken?
      • Professor Oddenstein: That's not the point! The point is that he knew, beforehand, that it was going to happen. I listed all of the side effects and he jumped at the chance.
      • Player: You can't ADMIT to turning him into a chicken! We'll lose the case if you do that. Perhaps it never happened? It was only you two in the room: it's his story against yours. Was there anyone else?
      • Professor Oddenstein: No, it was just the two of us. My assistant Ava was unpacking her things in another room.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • The machine.
      • Player: Tell me about the machine you allegedly used to transform Ernest.
      • Professor Oddenstein: Well, it started off as a time machine, and then became a monster generator. I tend to re-use machines, to save money, but that can lead to complications. The machine was supposed to do general transmutations, but I named it the 'Pouletmorph Machine' once it became apparent that only chickens were being produced.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • Science.
      • Player: Do you often use humans in your experiments?
      • Professor Oddenstein: They're preferable, but hard to come by. It was fate that brought Ernest into my room at the moment I wanted to test my machine. Once I asked his permission, he said he didn't have any thing better to do. I can't say I really listened, I was making the finishing touches to the machine.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • I don't have any more questions.
      • Player: I don't have any more questions.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

Talking to Ernest[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Wait, you've brought charges against Oddenstein. Why are YOU in jail?
  • Ernest: I'm considered a flight risk. The guards laughed after saying it, so I think it's yet another chicken joke. I've been hearing a lot of those recently.
  • Player: Okay then, I'm here to cross eggs-amine you before the
  • Ernest: Very good. That's a lovely chicken pun you have there. Just ask me your questions and move along.
  • Ask about:
    • The chicken incident.
      • Player: Could you tell me what happened to you?
      • Ernest: Veronica and I were on our way to Falador to get married. We got lost near Draynor Manor, so I said I'd nip in to get directions. After exploring a bit, I found Professor Oddenstein in his laboratory. He was tinkering on a machine and, when I introduced myself and asked for directions, he pulled a lever. The next thing I remember is waking up on the floor, covered in feathers and with a strong craving for chickenfeed.
      • Player: So, you don't actually remember being a chicken?
      • Ernest: Not exactly, no.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • The laboratory.
      • Player: What can you remember about Professor Oddenstein's laboratory?
      • Ernest: Not much. I remember he was tinkering with a machine when I walked in, and he briefly mentioned that he was working on something strange - a time machine or something. He asked if I'd like to help him, but he'd pulled the lever before I had time to respond.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • Marriage.
      • Player: I understand you're going to marry Veronica. When's the happy day?
      • Ernest: Soon, I think. We keep moving the date, as unfortunate things happen to us. One time I was ill, another time I got locked into a dungeon, and this time I got turned into a chicken after asking for directions in Draynor Manor. We've had the worst luck.
      • Player: Draynor Manor is pretty uninviting. Why didn't you go to the village just to the south?
      • Ernest: Are you kidding? Draynor Manor looked so exciting! I wanted to explore it all, find out its secrets. Besides, it's not like we couldn't postpone the wedding if something happened to me.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • I don't have any more questions.
      • Player: I don't have any more questions.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

Talking to Ava[edit | edit source]

  • Ava: Hello again; I'm busy with my newest research, so can't gossip too much. Are you after information, an upgrade, another device or would you like to see my goods for sale?
    • I'd like information please.
      • (Non-relevant dialogue)
    • I seem to need a new device.
      • (Non-relevant dialogue)
    • I'd like to upgrade my device, please.
      • (Non-relevant dialogue)
    • I'd like to see your stuff for sale, please.
      • (Non-relevant dialogue)
    • Talk about Ava's alerter.
      • (Non-relevant dialogue)
    • I'd like to speak to you about a court case I'm researching.
      • Player: I'm investigating allegations against Professor Oddenstein that he illegally transmogrified Ernest into a chicken. I'd like to ask you a few questions.
      • Ava: Is this really necessary? I have science to do!
      • Player: I'm afraid so. Part of court procedure.
      • Ask about:
        • The chicken incident.
          • Player: Could you tell me what you know about the chicken incident?
          • Ava: What's there to tell? I was moving in at the time. I never saw Ernest, or anyone else for that matter; there was just a chicken running around the laboratory, and I thought it was the Professor's pet. He'd named it Ernest and was chasing it about.
          • Player: You thought a chicken named Ernest was his pet? It didn't occur to you it was a human in chicken shape?
          • Ava: Perhaps you are a chicken in human shape! Look, as far as I could tell, the chicken was a chicken. When I didn't see the chicken around any more, I just thought the professor had eaten it or something.
          • (Shows the previous options.)
        • The professor.
          • Player: What can you tell me about the Professor?
          • Ava: He's eccentric, but that's the sign of a good scientist. I haven't been working here long, but he doesn't seem to need my help often, so I can pursue my own research uninterrupted.
          • Player: What do you and the professor research?
          • Ava: I don't know what he's working on at the minute, but his past research has focused on time and space manipulation. Bread and butter stuff, really. My current line of research involves necroballistics. I recently invented a backpack that accumulates arrows: very much next generation technology.
          • (Shows the previous options.)
        • Science.
          • Player: What kind of experiments has the professor done?
          • Ava: The professor can be secretive. His past projects have focused mostly on the manipulation of space and time. That's how he managed to open a portal to another dimension.
          • Player: Do you know of him attempting to transmogrify people?
          • Ava: To be honest, it's a field of science that's slightly below the professor. I saw no equipment in the lab to suggest that he was attempting transmogrification.
          • Player: What kind of experiments do you do?
          • Ava: My current line of research involves improving equipment and weapons with a fusion of magic and science. I recently invented a backpack that accumulates arrows you've shot.
          • Player: Where do you stand on human test subjects?
          • Ava: I heartily encourage it. We've got a pool of gullible adventurers to draw from, so why not use them? They're always willing, as long as there's a reward on the table.
          • Player: Doesn't it strike you as cruel?
          • Ava: Not really.
          • (Shows the previous options.)
        • I don't have any more questions.
          • Player: I don't have any more questions.
          • (Dialogue ends.)

Talking to Veronica[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello, I'm investigating allegations that Professor Oddenstein illegally transmogrified Ernest into a chicken.
  • Veronica: Transmogra-what?
  • Player: Sorry, I can't help talking like a real lawyer sometimes. Ernest says Professor Oddenstein turned him into a chicken. I'd like to ask you a few questions about that.
  • Veronica: Oh, of course! Go ahead.
  • Ask about:
    • The chicken incident.
      • Player: Can you tell me about the chicken incident?
      • Veronica: Sure! We were heading to Falador, but got lost on the way. Ernest saw lights on at Draynor Manor and went inside to ask for directions. When he came back out, which was quite some time later, he kept going on about being turned into a chicken. I thought he meant he was too 'chicken' to get married, but - silly me - he meant a real chicken!
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • Ernest.
      • Player: What can you tell me about Ernest?
      • Veronica: Oh, I can tell you loads! Ernest was quite the adventurer before we met but, now we're together, he'll have to settle down. Problem is, he's so kind-hearted and he's always helping out strange people who seem to get him in trouble. This business with Oddenstein was just the final candle on the fruit cake.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • Marriage.
      • Player: I understand you and Ernest are to be married. When's the happy day?
      • Veronica: Any day now! We had to delay it AGAIN because of this trial silliness, but Ernest said that we'd get married afterwards. He promised: crossed his heart and hoped to
      • Player: The wedding was delayed before?
      • Veronica: Yeah. Ernest and I have the worst luck. Every time we set a date, something happens and Ernest gets himself into trouble. Just recently, he got trapped in Daemonheim, but it turned out the door key was in his pocket the whole time. Silly Ernest. This time round, we were on our way to get married when he went into Draynor Manor. He was a sweetheart and eager to get directions from someone in there.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • I don't have any more questions.
      • Player: I don't have any more questions.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

Enter the court room[edit | edit source]

Trial[edit | edit source]

Commencement[edit | edit source]

Opening statement[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

If defending:

Talking to the judge[edit | edit source]

  • Judge: What can I do for you?
  • What would you like to ask?
    • Your Honour, could you explain what I need to do?
    • Your Honour, I'd like to present evidence.
    • Your Honour, I'd like to call a witness.
      • If the player did not interview anyone prior to the trial:
        • Judge: You haven't interviewed anyone. That's going to make it hard for you to ask them pertinent questions, don't you think?
      • Otherwise:
        • Choose your witness:
          • Oddenstein.
          • Ernest.
          • Veronica.
          • Ava.
          • No one at this time. I would like to return to evidence.
          • No one at this time. I would like to finish and summarise my case.
            • Player: No one at this time, Your Honour. I would like to finish my presentation by summarising my case to the Jury.
            • (Proceed to 'Summary' below.)
    • Your Honour, I'd like to summarise my case.
      • Player: Your Honour, I would like to summarise my case to the Jury.
      • (Proceed to 'Summary' below.)

Presenting evidence[edit | edit source]

Fingerprints[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, if I could draw your attention to Prosecution Evidence #1: Fingerprints found in the laboratory of Professor Oddenstein. These fingerprints were found on a bag of chickenfeed and the 'Pouletmorph Machine' that the professor was working on. Why would a renowned scientist have these things if he didn't plan to turn people into chickens? You can clearly see this fingerprint is the Defendant's!
  • The Jury reacts to the argument.
  • The jury agrees with your argument.
  • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)

If defending:

  • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, while the Prosecution has chosen to assume that a fingerprint on a machine means guilt, I'd like to point something out. The fingerprint was found in the Defendant's own laboratory, and it'd be more surprising if his fingerprint was NOT found.
  • The Jury reacts to the argument.
  • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
  • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)

Feather[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, if I could draw your attention to Prosecution Evidence #2: A feather.
  • The Prosecution presents the feather as evidence.
    • It's quite soft. I think it's a chicken feather.
      • Player: This feather is lovely and soft. It could also be used to tickle someone or make a quill. The mind boggles at what else it could be used for.
      • If the Jury didn't agree with the player's argument about the feather before:
        • The Jury reacts to the argument.
        • The jury disagrees with your argument.
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)
    • This feather was found on the Defendant.
      • Player: This feather was found on the Defendant. What possible reason could Oddenstein have for keeping a feather on him, except that he recently handled a chicken? That chicken was none other than Ernest!
      • If the Jury didn't disagree with the player's argument about the feather before:
        • The Jury reacts to the argument.
        • The jury agrees with your argument.
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)
    • This feather was found at the scene of the crime.
      • Player: This feather was found at the scene of the crime. It could have breezed in through a window, but Professor Oddenstein likes to keep his lab closed and secure - except from wandering strangers, of course.
      • The Jury reacts to the argument.
      • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)

If defending:

  • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, if I could draw your attention to Prosecution Evidence #2: A feather.
    • This feather was found on my client.
      • Player: This feather was indeed found on my client. Now, stop and think about the number of times you use a feather: fletching, fishing, filling your mattresses, writing letters. We cannot assume that the feather is from a living, breathing chicken.
      • The Jury reacts to the argument.
      • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)
    • This is clearly a chicken feather.
      • Player: This is clearly a chicken feather, but what does that prove? Maybe he had a chicken dinner. That dinner obviously wasn't Ernest, since he's at court today!
      • The Jury reacts to the argument.
      • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)
    • No feathers were found on Ernest.
      • Player: More importantly, no feathers were found on Ernest. Surely, if Ernest had been a chicken, there would have been feathers on him!
      • The Jury reacts to the argument.
      • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)

Pouletmorph Machine[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, if I could draw your attention to Prosecution Evidence #3: The 'Pouletmorph Machine'.
  • The Prosecution presents the 'Pouletmorph Machine' as evidence.
  • What do you want to say?
    • It's a weirdly named machine.
      • Player: The name's pretty weird, and not easy to say at all. Poo-let-morf? It might have something to do with chickens, but I'm not confident.
      • The Jury reacts to the argument.
      • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)
    • It's the professor's top-secret project.
      • Player: his is the professor's top-secret project. He refuses to reveal the details of what it does, mainly because it would reveal a cunning ability to turn humans into chickens!
      • If the Jury didn't disagree with the player's argument about the Pouletmorph Machine before:
        • The Jury reacts to the argument.
        • The jury agrees with your argument.
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)
    • It had the Defendant's hair on it.
      • Player: The machine had the Defendant's hair on it. That's not entirely surprising, since it's his machine, in his laboratory. All the same, it's clearly his machine!
      • If the Jury didn't agree with the player's argument about the Pouletmorph Machine before:
        • The Jury reacts to the argument.
        • The jury disagrees with your argument.
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)

If defending:

  • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, if I could draw your attention to Prosecution Evidence #3: The 'Pouletmorph Machine'.
    • An unfortunate choice of name.
      • Player: My client's machine is unfortunately named, but the professor could never have imagined that he'd be on such a ludicrous charge. The professor has decided to not reveal its function, which is his right as a successful scientist.
      • The Jury reacts to the argument.
      • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)
    • Chicken-related, clearly, but not dangerous.
      • Player: The name indicates some chicken-related functionality, but that doesn't prove that the machine was involved. My client's history implies that his inventions tend towards dimensional and portal technology. He has no history of transmogrification.
      • The Jury reacts to the argument.
      • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)
    • A kitchen revolution!
      • Player: My client is clearly creating a machine that will revolutionize your kitchen! It doesn't transform people into chickens, it transforms chickens into tasty meals. My client has invented the chicken nugget!
      • The Jury reacts to the argument.
      • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
      • (Proceed to 'What evidence do you want to present?' above.)

Cross-examination[edit | edit source]

Professor Oddenstein[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • Ask about:
    • The chicken incident.
      • Ask about:
        • Describe the events, as you know them, of the chicken incident.
          • Player: Describe the events, as you know them, of the chicken incident.
          • Professor Oddenstein: Well, I was making some final precombobulations and twiddles to my machine in the laboratory. Suddenly, this young man walks in and starts babbling about being lost and a verruca waiting for him. As it happened, I was ready to test out my machine, so I asked him if he'd be interested in helping with a transmutation experiment. I explained the experiment in full, and he said it sounded more exciting than what he was supposed to be doing.
          • Player: What happened next?
          • Professor Oddenstein: He turned into a chicken.
          • Player: You confess? You turned Ernest into a chicken?
          • Professor Oddenstein: I never denied it. But, looky here, that isn't the point of this trial. As I explained, in depth, Ernest knew, full-well, the risks before agreeing to the experiment. Any resulting chickenifying is his problem, not mine.
          • Player: We only have your word against his, professor. Who would agree to such a risky experiment?
          • Professor Oddenstein: Perhaps a young man avoiding a marriage?
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did you know Ernest previously?
          • Player: Did you know Ernest previously?
          • Professor Oddenstein: No, I've never seen him before in my life. I don't get out much, and few people make it all the way up to my laboratory.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • What was Ernest like as a chicken?
          • Player: What was Ernest like as a chicken?
          • Professor Oddenstein: Annoying, mostly. He had a habit of pecking wires and clogging transport tubes with his feathers. I suppose it was nice to have something alive, rather than undead, about the mansion.
          • Player: Aha! So, you admit: Ernest was a chicken! Ladies and Gentleman of the Jury, this confession proves the pitch- black depravity of the man. He enjoyed the company of a manchicken! Clearly, he made little attempt to turn him back...
          • Professor Oddenstein: Now, hold up there...
          • Player: I think we've heard enough from you!
          • If the Jury didn't disagree with the player's argument about Professor Oddenstein's speech about the chicken incident before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury agrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • The machine.
      • Ask about:
        • Could you tell us more about the machine you were working on?
          • Player: Could you tell us more about the machine you were working on?
          • Professor Oddenstein: Certainly. It started life as a time machine, and a monster generator before that. They didn't work out so well - abyssal rifts, poltergeists, that sort of thing - so I reused the base materials of the machine to make a transmutational device. Recycling on that scale can lead to issues, but nothing too serious has ever come of it.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Why is it called the 'Pouletmorph Machine'?
          • Player: Why is it called the 'Pouletmorph Machine'?
          • Professor Oddenstein: The machine was originally supposed to do your common, bog-standard transmutations, but I named it the 'Pouletmorph Machine' when it became apparent that only chickens were being produced.
          • Player: When you say 'only chickens were being produced', what do you mean, exactly?
          • Professor Oddenstein: I mean that when I used the machine on something - or someone - it turned into a chicken.
          • If the Jury didn't disagree with the player's argument about Professor Oddenstein's speech about the machine before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury agrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Have you continued work on the machine?
          • Player: Have you continued work on the machine?
          • Professor Oddenstein: No. Considering the amount of fuss it's caused, I've turned it into a coffee machine. Far less hostile.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • Science.
      • Ask about:
        • What kind of experiments do you normally do?
          • Player: What kind of experiments do you normally do?
          • Professor Oddenstein: I tend towards projects that twist time about space, and then tie them in a bow of dimensionality. I also enjoy experimenting in the kitchen.
          • Player: So, transmutation is a new venture for you? It appears fraught with danger; you took greater care than normal with your test subjects, I take it?
          • Professor Oddenstein: Of course I did! I carefully explained the risks to Ernest beforehand. Transmutation is a delicate process and, before I even conducted the experiment, I made certain that I could undo whatever effect it had on the participant.
          • If the Jury didn't agree with the player's argument about Professor Oddenstein's speech about science before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury disagrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Where do you stand on human test subjects?
          • Player: Where do you stand on human test subjects?
          • Professor Oddenstein: I stand on their toes! Haha, a little scientist humour for you there. Uh, I believe in using human test subjects, when the experiment calls for it. Normally, I use assistants, as they take the job knowing the risks that are involved. It doesn't always work well for them, but that's the hazard of being a mad scientist's assistant. Ava is as tough as the hind quarters of an ogre, for example.
          • Player: In this case, why did you use an innocent civilian against his will?
          • Professor Oddenstein: Phooey! It wasn't against his will; he jumped at the chance! He's only lying about it to avoid getting married.
          • If the Jury didn't agree with the player's argument about Professor Oddenstein's speech about science before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury disagrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • How much are you willing to sacrifice for scientific progress?
          • Player: How much are you willing to sacrifice for scientific progress?
          • Professor Oddenstein: What a silly question. I'm not mindless zealot when it comes to science, I'm simply curious. A better question would be: what wouldn't I sacrifice? I wouldn't sacrifice my right thumb. I'm really rather fond of it. I also like that I can roll my tongue, so I wouldn't sacrifice that.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • That's all, for now.
      • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

If defending:

  • Ask about:
    • The chicken incident.
      • Ask about:
        • Describe the events, as you know them, of the chicken incident.
          • Player: Describe the events, as you know them, of the chicken incident.
          • Professor Oddenstein: Well, I'd just transformed my toenail clippings into chicken drumsticks, and was fiddling with dials to tone down the fat content. That was when Ernest walked in. He mumbled something about directions and then lost interest once he saw the machines. I asked if he wanted to become my test subject, he said yes. I explained what was going to happen, he still said yes.
          • Player: What happened next?
          • Professor Oddenstein: Well, he turned into a chicken.
          • Player: I'm sorry, I think I misheard you.
          • Professor Oddenstein: I said he turned into a chicken!
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did you know Ernest previously?
          • Player: Did you know Ernest previously?
          • Professor Oddenstein: Not at all. He's not my usual crowd: a little too dim and gullible for my liking.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did you explain the experiment in full?
          • Player: Did you explain the experiment in full?
          • Professor Oddenstein: That I did. I explained that I was testing a transmutation device, that I could do with a test subject, and that I would - probably - be able to undo any effects.
          • Player: So, Ernest knew exactly what he was getting himself into and disregarded the risk!
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • The machine.
      • Ask about:
        • Could you tell us more about the machine you were working on?
          • Player: Could you tell us more about the machine you were working on?
          • Professor Oddenstein: Certainly. It's a transfibrous wattleometer, which isn't very catchy, so I've adopted the name 'Pouletmorph Machine'. It's a pun, you see. It began life as a time machine, then a monster creation machine, and occasionally a doorstop. I reuse my materials, which can lead to strange side effects with my experiments.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Why is it called the 'Pouletmorph Machine'?
          • Player: Why is it called the 'Pouletmorph Machine'?
          • Professor Oddenstein: The plan was to turn household items into fully cooked meals, so people could recycle their junk and get a decent meal out of it. Unfortunately, only chicken was ever produced, and the chicken was generally very, very raw.
          • Player: When you say 'very, very raw', what do you mean, exactly?
          • Professor Oddenstein: I mean that, when I used the machine on someone or something, they turned into a live chicken.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Have you continued work on the machine?
          • Player: Have you continued work on the machine?
          • Professor Oddenstein: There must be a ghost in the machine: it's the only explanation. I've turned it into a coffee machine until I can figure out what's gone wrong.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • Science.
      • Ask about:
        • What kind of experiments do you normally do?
          • Player: What kind of experiments do you normally do?
          • Professor Oddenstein: I like to work with all seven known dimensions, bending them into new and interesting shapes. Occasionally I like to whip up a meal too.
          • Player: So, transmutation was a new venture for you? It appears fraught with danger; I'm guessing that you took precautions?
          • Professor Oddenstein: Of course I did; I explained the risks to Ernest beforehand, if that's what you are getting at. Aside from getting Ernest to sign a waiver, I did everything in my power to keep him safe.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Where do you stand on human test subjects?
          • Player: Where do you stand on human test subjects?
          • Professor Oddenstein: Practicing on humans is akin to getting married: you can put it off again and again, but, ultimately, you will have to do it at some point. All you can do is make sure you are prepared and in the right frame of mind when you do.
          • Player: I take it you were prepared and in the right frame of mind with Ernest, then?
          • Professor Oddenstein: More prepared than he was, it seems. Yes, I was prepared, and I believed that I could turn him back if things went
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Are you careful about the risks of experimentation?
          • Player: You are very careful about the risks of experimentation?
          • Professor Oddenstein: I am as careful as I can be. There are certain things I would never risk, for example. I wouldn't risk spilling a well-made cup of coffee, and I wouldn't risk meeting a clown. That's why I never go to the circus; clowns are beyond scary.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • That's all, for now.
      • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

Ernest[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • Ask about:
    • The chicken incident.
      • Ask about:
        • What happened when you entered the house?
          • Player: What happened when you entered the house?
          • Ernest: What didn't happen? I got kicked by a chair, chased by a witch, poked by a skeleton and lunged at by a vampyre! I managed to make my way to the top of the house, where a scientist was performing experiments in a room full of machinery.
          • Player: What happened then?
          • Ernest: I remember the scientist pulling a lever...and then nothing.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Tell us about being a chicken.
          • Player: Tell us about being a chicken.
          • Ernest: I don't remember anything. I just remember the professor pulling a lever and then me waking up on the floor, surrounded by feathers. I had a strong craving for chickenfeed, which I haven't quite gotten rid of since.
          • Player: It's not surprising you can't remember anything. Chicken brains are so much smaller than ours, and they probably don't store memories like we do.
          • If the Jury didn't agree with the player's argument about Ernest's speech about the chicken incident before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury agrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • What happened after you were transformed back into human form?
          • Player: What happened after you were transformed back into human form?
          • Ernest: I can't remember much. I was dazed and my body ached, as if it had been stretched into hundreds of different shapes. There was someone else in the room, but I could barely make them out, and I made my way out of the manor soon after that.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • The laboratory.
      • Ask about:
        • Who was in the laboratory?
          • Player: Who was in the laboratory?
          • Ernest: Just Professor Oddenstein. He was working, so I introduced myself and asked for directions.
          • Player: You weren't previously acquainted with the professor?
          • Ernest: No, I wasn't, although I've met my fair share of mad scientists.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did you see the 'Pouletmorph Machine'?
          • Player: Did you see the 'Pouletmorph Machine'
          • Ernest: I saw many machines, but I didn't notice one in particular. I get the feeling that the Polymorphywotsit was the machine that the professor fiddled with when I came into the room. He mentioned something about it being a time machine, or the like.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did Professor Oddenstein talk to you about his work?
          • Player: Did Professor Oddenstein talk to you about his work?
          • Ernest: Yes, he did. He said the machine he was working on had been a time machine, a monster generator and any number of things before. He asked if I'd like to help with his latest experiment.
          • Player: What did you say?
          • Ernest: I was going to say something, but, before I got to finish my sentence, he'd pulled the lever! I was going to say 'I can't leave Veronica for long'.
          • Player: But Oddenstein never asked SPECIFICALLY if you would mind being turned into a chicken?
          • Ernest: No, he never mentioned anything about being turned into a chicken.
          • If the Jury didn't disagree with the player's argument about Ernest's speech about the laboratory before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury agrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • Marriage.
      • Ask about:
        • When are you getting married?
          • Player: When are you getting married?
          • Ernest: Quite soon. Probably once this trial is finished.
          • Player: Has that always been the date?
          • Ernest: Uh, no. It's moved around a lot. I've had a streak of bad luck lately, what with being turned into a chicken and all. I also got trapped in a dungeon, which cancelled the last wedding.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Are you excited about the marriage?
          • Player: Are you excited about the marriage?
          • Ernest: Of course. I'm estatic! I love Veronica, and would do anything to make her happy. I just don't want our marriage to affect my adventuring, that's all. I'm sure I'll still get to go on the odd one once we're married.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Was your marriage the reason you were walking by Draynor Manor?
          • Player: Was your marriage the reason you were walking past Draynor Manor?
          • Ernest: We were heading to Falador to get my hair cut for the wedding and we got lost. Draynor Manor was close by, so I went in to get directions.
          • Player: Draynor Manor is a strange place to ask for hospitality. Why not go to the village to the south?
          • Ernest: Are you kidding? Draynor Manor looks way cool! I jumped at the chance to explore it and get into more adventures. Uh, and I went in to get directions, which was my main goal, of course.
          • If the Jury didn't agree with the player's argument about Ernest's speech about the marriage before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury disagrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • That's all, for now.
      • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

If defending:

  • Ask about:
    • The chicken incident.
      • Ask about:
        • What happened when you entered the manor?
          • Player: What happened when you entered the manor?
          • Ernest: I couldn't find anyone living on the bottom floors, but I came across plenty of unliving things! I got kicked by a chair and accosted by a skeleton: the usual haunted house stuff. Then I found the professor's room, up on the top floor.
          • Player: What happened then?
          • Ernest: I remember the Professor pulling a lever...and then nothing.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Tell us about being a chicken.
          • Player: Tell us about being a chicken.
          • Ernest: I don't really remember. One moment I walked into the professor's room, and the next I was surrounded by feathers, with a craving for chickenfeed. I lost some time inbetween, but I couldn't tell you how much.
          • Player: So, you don't actually know, for a fact, that you were a chicken? You could have just collapsed in a bed of feathers?
          • Ernest: I...I was a chicken! I can't remember being a chicken, but why else would there be feathers around?
          • Player: I've woken up with no memory, surrounded by beer glasses, but that doesn't mean I was transformed into a beer barrel, does it? Were you drinking that night, Mr Ernest?
          • Ernest: I most definitely was not!
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • What happened after you claim you were transformed back?
          • Player: What happened after you claim to have been transformed?
          • Ernest: Not much. My senses were a little dulled, but I got the feeling that someone else was in the room. I can only imagine that they were the ones who saved me from life as a chicken. Then I made my way outside, where my lovely Veronica was waiting.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • The laboratory.
      • Ask about:
        • Who was in the laboratory?
          • Player: Who was in the laboratory?
          • Ernest: Just Professor Oddenstein. He was working, so I introduced myself and asked for directions.
          • Player: Had you met the professor before?
          • Ernest: Nope, most definitely not.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did you see the 'Pouletmorph Machine'?
          • Player: Did you see the 'Pouletmorph Machine'
          • Ernest: There were plenty of machines, but none that really stood out. I think - but I'm not sure - that the machine you're talking about was being worked on by the professor. He mumbled something about it being a time travel machine, a monster generator and a few other things.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did Professor Oddenstein talk to you about his work?
          • Player: Did Professor Oddenstein talk to you about his work?
          • Ernest: We didn't talk for long before he chickened me, but he mentioned something about a machine that he'd been working on. He asked if I wanted to be a part of his latest experiment.
          • Player: And what did you say?
          • Ernest: Virtually nothing! I was in the middle of replying when he yanked the lever. he didn't wait for me to reply at all.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • Marriage.
      • Ask about:
        • When are you getting married?
          • Player: When are you getting married?
          • Ernest: It'll happen. Soon after the trial, I would imagine.
          • Player: That hasn't always been the plan, has it?
          • Ernest: Not really, no. We've been unlucky and got into a number of scrapes that have postponed each of our weddings. We've planned five separate weddings - that's not unusual, right?
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Are you excited about the marriage?
          • Player: Are you excited about the marriage?
          • Ernest: Of course I am. I can't wait, and it will be lovely seeing Veronica's face at the altar. I just have a few things to do before I get there.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Was your marriage the reason you walked past Draynor Manor?
          • Player: Was your marriage the reason you walked past Draynor Manor?
          • Ernest: Kinda. You see, we were headed to Falador for last-minute wedding bits and pieces, and we got lost. Draynor Manor was close by, so I took the opportunity to ask for directions.
          • Player: Why would you choose to go to Draynor Manor rather than Draynor Village, Rimmington, or any other smaller settlements on the way?
          • Ernest: You're kidding, right? Draynor Manor is legendary: it's got all sorts of exciting things to check out, and I've never had the opportunity before.
          • Player: But you were on your way to the wedding! Ernest, I don't believe that you are accident-prone or given to bad luck - you're finding trouble on purpose!
          • Ernest: No, it really isn't like that! I mean, I may have been wasting a little time, and I MAY have been deliberately delaying the wedding, but I was a chicken. REALLY!
          • Player: If you lie to your fiance, there's little chance you won't lie to us.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • That's all, for now.
      • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

Veronica[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

    • The chicken incident.
      • Ask about:
        • Why were you at Draynor Manor?
          • Player: Why were you at Draynor Manor?
          • Veronica: We were on our way to Falador to get Ernest's hair cut for the wedding. It seems we got lost, so we stopped for directions at Draynor Manor.
          • Player: Why didn't you go to Draynor Village, to the south? I can think of plenty of people who would have helped you.
          • Veronica: Ernest loves to get into scrapes and hijinks. He'll get over it soon enough, once he has a wife and a family to look after.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Where did Ernest go?
          • Player: Where did Ernest go?
          • Veronica: My sweetheart went into the scary mansion. He was going to find someone to give us directions.
          • Player: Did he come back immediately?
          • Veronica: He didn't come back for ages! That's not unusual, though. He has a habit of getting into 'adventures', so I have to drag him back, usually.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • What was Ernest like as a chicken?
          • Player: What was Ernest like as a chicken?
          • Veronica: I honestly couldn't tell you. I never saw him as a chicken, although I did have to live with the consequences. He's been getting cravings for chickenfeed, and he's been waking the neighborhood at dawn every day.
          • Player: Wait, you never SAW Ernest as a chicken?
          • Veronica: Nope!
          • If the Jury didn't agree with the player's argument about Veronica's speech about the chicken incident before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury disagrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • Ernest.
      • Ask about:
        • Is Ernest the adventuring type?
          • Player: Is Ernest the adventuring type?
          • Veronica: He has a tendency to wander off and get in trouble: nothing too serious. You can guarantee that it's just a phase - I'll make sure of that. There's no way he'll adventure when he becomes Mr Veronica.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Does Ernest help strangers often?
          • Player: Does Ernest help strangers often?
          • Veronica: Oh yes, although I'd question your use of the word 'help'. He got turned into a frog by a witch earlier this week. You can normally guarantee that 'adventuring' means being threatened, tortured or turned into a new and interesting creature.
          • If the Jury didn't agree with the player's argument about Veronica's speech about Ernest before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury disagrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did Ernest know Oddenstein before this incident?
          • Player: Did Ernest know Oddenstein before this incident?
          • Veronica: Of course not! Do you think I'd let my Ernie associate with anyone so eccentric and dangerous? Ernest's friends have to go through a careful audition process with me.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • Marriage.
      • Ask about:
        • When are you getting married?
          • Player: When are you getting married?
          • Veronica: As soon as possible! We keep setting dates, but things keep...coming up. This silly misunderstanding is the latest of them, but I'm starting to make a list: getting locked in a dungeon, being transformed into a frog, arguing with goblin generals, baking a cake for the Duke of Lumbridge...
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Is Ernest excited about the marriage?
          • Player: Is Ernest excited about the marriage?
          • Veronica: Of course he is! He's as excited as I am, and we talk about it all the time; he's such a good listener. We're going to get married, settle down in Falador, have seven or eight children, and Ernest will get a job bringing in 50 or 60,000 gold a year.
          • Player: Thank you, that's quite enough.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Was your marriage the reason you were walking by Draynor Manor?
          • Player: Was your marriage the reason you walked past Draynor Manor?
          • Veronica: How did you know? We were headed to Falador so Ernest could get a fabulous haircut for the wedding. Ernest gets lost so easily, though, and he was eager to ask for directions. Such a helpful boy. Of course, we've missed the appointment at the hairdressers and now the church, so we're still not married. I'll cuff him and drag him to a priest if I have to.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • That's all, for now.
      • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

If defending:

  • Ask about:
    • The chicken incident.
      • Ask about:
      • Why were you at Draynor Manor?
          • Player: Why were you at Draynor Manor?
          • Veronica: Well, we were travelling and Ernest lost the map in a river. We saw the manor and Ernest thought someone might help with directions.
          • Player: Why didn't you go to Draynor Village, directly south of there. Surely that would have been more inviting?
          • Veronica: Ernest just loves to travel and explore. He'll change; I'll make sure of that.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Where did Ernest go?
          • Player: Where did Ernest go?
          • Veronica: Ernie went in to ask for directions, bless him. He likes to think he is protecting me, but he often gets himself into trouble that I have to sort, or get an adventurer to sort for me.
          • Player: Did he come back immediately?
          • Veronica: Not at all. He was gone a long, long time. That's not unusual, but it was still irritating.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • What was Ernest like as a chicken?
          • Player: What was Ernest like as a chicken?
          • Veronica: I would have loved to see it, but unfortunately I never saw Ernest as a chicken. Instead, I'm left to put up with the curious chicken mannerisms he's got now. He pecks crumbs from my lap: it's embarassing.
          • Player: Wait, you never SAW him as a chicken?
          • Veronica: Nope!
          • Player: Then you can't be sure he was a chicken at all!
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • Ernest.
      • Ask about:
        • Is Ernest the adventuring type?
          • Player: Is Ernest the adventuring type?
          • Veronica: He's an adventurer, but not a successful one. I have plans to squeeze every last drop of adventure out of him. Just you wait.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Does Ernest help strangers often?
          • Player: Does Ernest help strangers often?
          • Veronica: I wouldn't call it 'helping' but Ernest has a habit of getting involved with other people's disputes, adventures and conversations. It rarely if ever ends well for him, bless his cotton socks.
          • Player: In your experience, does Ernest have a habit of exaggerating what has happened to him?
          • Veronica: I'm certain that he makes things up to impress me. What can I say? He's an adventurer, and adventurers can't help but exaggerate their achievements. It makes them feel special.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did Ernest know Oddenstein before this incident?
          • Player: Did Ernest know Oddenstein before this incident?
          • Veronica: Not at all! I keep a log of all Ernest's friends and how long he spends with each of them, and I'm certain that Oddenstein's name isn't on there.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • Marriage.
      • Ask about:
        • When are you getting married?
          • Player: When are you getting married?
          • Veronica: As soon as possible! We keep setting dates, but things crop up, like this silly misunderstanding. My parents say that Ernest has commitment issues, but I refuse to believe that. I'd kill him if it were true.
          • Player: So, your parents think he could be fabricating these stories to get out of the wedding?
          • Veronica: Don't you dare say that! He just needs a decent run up before he goes through with the wedding.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Is Ernest excited about the marriage?
          • Player: Is Ernest excited about the marriage?
          • Veronica: You cannot believe how excited he is! We've spent hours shopping for the right dress, the right flowers, the most beautiful doilies...
          • Player: Thank you, that's quite enough.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Was your marriage the reason you were walking by Draynor Manor?
          • Player: Was your marriage the reason you went walking by Draynor Manor?
          • Veronica: How did you know? We were headed to Falador to get Ernie a haircut before the wedding. We got lost of course, so we stopped off at the mansion for directions. Of course, by the time Ernest came back, we'd missed the appointment at the church, so we're not married just yet. I can guarantee that we will be in the next few months, though. On his head be it.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • That's all, for now.
      • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

Ava[edit | edit source]

If prosecuting:

  • Ask about:
    • The chicken incident.
      • Ask about:
        • Why were you at Draynor Manor?
          • Player: Why were you at Draynor Manor?
          • Ava: I'd recently passed an initiation to become the professor's new assistant. He said I was as tough as an ogre's hind quarters, which I took to be a compliment.
          • Player: So, you haven't been there long? In the time that you've been there, have you noticed anything odd?
          • Ava: It's a haunted mansion; your definition of 'odd' might need some refining. I stayed mostly in my room or in the laboratory. I noticed very little that I would consider 'odd' in those rooms.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did you see Ernest?
          • Player: Did you see Ernest?
          • Ava: I saw no other living humans, only myself and the Professor. Oh, and the witch.
          • Player: Perhaps you heard Ernest's voice? Maybe you came across his personal belongings? A t-shirt filled with feathers?
          • Ava: Nothing of the kind. I stand by my previous comments.
          • If the Jury didn't agree with the player's argument about Ava's speech about the chicken incident before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury disagrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did you see a chicken?
          • Player: Did you see a chicken?
          • Ava: Yes, I did see a chicken. I assumed it was the professor's pet or something. There was chickenfeed around.
          • Player: Did the chicken have a name?
          • Ava: The professor kept shouting at it. 'Ernest, stop pecking the wires!', that sort of thing.
          • If the Jury didn't disagree with the player's argument about Ava's speech about the chicken incident before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury agrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • The professor.
      • Ask about:
        • How do you like working for the professor?
          • Player: How do you like working for the Professor?
          • Ava: He's eccentric, like any mad scientist worth his salt. Most scientists will snap their fingers and expect you to come running, while the professor lets me get on with my own things. I prefer it that way.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Have you known the professor long?
          • Player: Have you known the Professor long?
          • Ava: No, I saw his advert for an assistant in Draynor Village bank and applied. That was the first time I'd met him. He's made a name for himself in the scientific journals, don't you know.
          • Player: He's well-respected among the scientific community?
          • Ava: As much as any mad scientist can be. His killowatt portal raised a few eyebrows.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Has the professor tried any experiments on you?
          • Player: Has the professor tried any experiments on you?
          • Ava: Hardly. I wouldn't abide such an absurd notion. I'm there to assist, not be a guinea pig. That's what passing civilians are for.
          • If the Jury didn't agree with the player's argument about Ava's speech about the professor before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury agrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • Science.
      • Ask about:
        • What kind of experiments has the professor done?
          • Player: What kind of experiments has the professor done?
          • Ava: The professor can be secretive. His past projects have focused mostly on the manipulation of space and time. That's how he managed to open a portal to another dimension.
          • Player: Do you know of him attempting to transmogrify people?
          • Ava: To be honest, it's a field of science that's slightly below the professor. I saw no equipment in the lab to suggest that he was attempting transmogrification.
          • If the Jury didn't agree with the player's argument about Ava's speech about science before:
            • The Jury reacts to the argument.
            • The jury disagrees with your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • What kind of experiments do you do?
          • Player: What kind of experiments do you do?
          • Ava: My current line of research involves improving equipment and weapons with a fusion of magic and science. I recently invented a backpack that accumulates arrows you've shot.
          • Player: So, you don't have much interest in transforming people?
          • Ava: Of course not. I avoid working with others whenever possible.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Where do you stand on human test subjects?
          • Player: Where do you stand on human test subjects?
          • Ava: I heartily encourage it. We've got a pool of gullible adventurers to draw from, so why not use them? They're always willing, as long as there's a reward on the table.
          • Player: Doesn't it strike you as cruel?
          • Ava: Not really. But, clearly, after this fiasco we're going to have to get written consent, and that's just a load of red tape and bureaucratic blather.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • The jury doesn't know what to think about your argument.
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • That's all, for now.
      • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

If defending:

  • Ask about:
    • The chicken incident.
      • Ask about:
        • Why were you at Draynor Manor?
          • Player: Why were you at Draynor Manor?
          • Ava: I was unpacking my room after passing my initiation. Professor Oddenstein obviously knows talent when he sees it, and gave me the position of his assistant.
          • Player: In the time you've been there, have you noticed anything odd?
          • Ava: Dancing chairs, skeletons in cupboards, witch neighbours: it depends what you classify as 'odd'. I can't think of anything that seemed odder than what I just mentioned.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did you see Ernest?
          • Player: Did you see Ernest?
          • Ava: Not at all. You normally hear adventurers banging about the house, screaming and running. I didn't hear anything when Ernest supposedly came in.
          • Player: Perhaps you heard his voice? Maybe you saw his personal belongings?
          • Ava: I said no. I haven't changed my mind.
          • Player: Interesting! Ernest claimed to have been exploring Draynor Manor before being turned into a chicken; perhaps he was never there to begin with, and was just trying to ditch his fiance!
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Did you see a chicken?
          • Player: Did you see a chicken?
          • Ava: Yeah, I did. I assumed it was the Evil Chicken, until Oddenstein started talking to it.
          • Player: Did the chicken have a name?
          • Ava: The professor called it by the name of 'Ernest'. It kept pecking at the professor's wires and soiling the floor.
          • Player: Uh, that could have been a coincidence! It could have been a pet chicken, ironically named Ernest.
          • Ava: Yes, and my next experiment will involve putting wings on pigs.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • The professor.
      • Ask about:
        • How do you like working for the Professor?
          • Player: How do you like working for the professor?
          • Ava: He gets on with his work and rarely needs me, strangely enough. That's how I like it. I get to work on my own stuff and we occasionally share materials and findings.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Have you known the professor long?
          • Player: Have you known the professor long?
          • Ava: Only as long as I've been employed by him. I answered an ad in the Draynor Village bank and got the job on first interview. He seems eccentric, but that's a badge of merit in mad scientist circles.
          • Player: Is he well-respected among the scientific community?
          • Ava: They did a four-page spread in a scientific journal last month. Seems that portals to the killowatt realm are all the rage nowadays.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Has the professor tried any experiments on you?
          • Player: Has the professor tried any experiments on you?
          • Ava: He would never try it, if he knows what's good for him. I'm a helper, a muse and a confidant all rolled into one. Adventurers and lost strangers are the ones he should be testing on.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • Science.
      • Ask about:
        • What kind of experiments has the professor done?
          • Player: What kind of experiments has the professor done?
          • Ava: He's secretive about any current experiments. I'd guess that he's superstitious and doesn't want to curse them. Previously he's been tampering with time and space, dimensionality and phasing. That sort of mumbo jumbo.
          • Player: Do you know if he's ever transmogrified anyone?
          • Ava: Transmogrifying something is a step on the path to being a mad scientist, like dissecting a frog or reanimating a corpse. You have to try it at least once. Has he been doing it recently, though? I don't think so.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • What kind of experiments do you do?
          • Player: What kind of experiments do you do?
          • Ava: My current line of research involves improving equipment and weapons with a fusion of magic and science. I recently invented a backpack that accumulates arrows you've shot.
          • Player: So, you don't have much interest in transforming people?
          • Ava: I got out of that phase pretty early. I'm more interested in the psychology of adventurers, and the practical applications of an undead feather.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
        • Where do you stand on human test subjects?
          • Player: Where do you stand on human test subjects?
          • Ava: If they are willing and gullible, I'd say they are fair game. No-one will miss the odd adventurer.
          • Player: Doesn't it strike you as cruel?
          • Ava: Not really. But, I'm sure that human test subjects will be harder to come by after this fiasco.
          • The Jury reacts to the argument.
          • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
          • (Shows the initial options.)
    • That's all, for now.
      • Player: That's all, for now. Thank you.
      • (Dialogue ends.)

Talking to the prosecutor[edit | edit source]

Only if defending

  • (Talking to prosecutor transcript missing. edit)

Talking to the defender[edit | edit source]

Only if prosecuting:

All evidence presented[edit | edit source]

If the player has received one positive or negative jury response for each piece of evidence:

All evidence presented and witnesses interviewed[edit | edit source]

If the player has received one positive or negative jury response for each piece of evidence and each witness:

  • Judge: I think that is enough. It's time for you to summarise your case to the Jury.
  • (Proceed to 'Summary' below.)

Summary[edit | edit source]

  • Which member of the Jury would you like to try to appeal to?
  • Opens Jury selection interface.
  • If prosecuting:
    • If the player made enough correct choices in their case:
      • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I have presented evidence that conclusively proves the Defendant illegally transmogrified the victim. This man has no consideration for other people's right to remain human. Ernest was lucky that an adventurer saved him from life as a rooster. If they hadn't saved him, he'd still be clucking and pecking in the Draynor Manor attic.
    • If the player did not make enough correct choices in their case:
      • Player: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, there are very few reasons why anyone would want to turn into a rooster - the funky walk, the cockscomb - so we can only assume that the victim was transformed against his will. Think about how humiliating it would be to become a chicken. You'd be harvested for feathers, meat and eggs, and noobs would train their combat on you.
    • Judge: Very well. Now, the Defence may present their case.
    • (Same as 'The defence's case: Full case' below.)
  • If defending:
    • (Defending summary transcript missing. edit)
  • (Same as Transcript:Court Cases § Pronouncing verdict.)

The prosecution's case[edit | edit source]

Only if defending:

Summary[edit | edit source]

  • (Prosecution summary transcript missing. edit)

Full case[edit | edit source]

  • Prosecutor: Members of the Jury, I am going to present you with evidence that decisively proves Professor Oddenstein transmogrified Ernest into a chicken without his consent. First, I submit the chicken feather, found on the person of Professor Oddenstein. Why would a man of science have a chicken feather on him?
  • The Prosecution presents the feather as evidence.
  • Prosecutor: Second, the mysterious 'Pouletmorph Machine': the professor refuses to go into the details of the machine's workings, for fear of someone stealing his ideas, or so he says. It is more likely that it will incriminate him!
  • The Prosecution presents the 'Pouletmorph Machine' as evidence.
  • Prosecutor: Last, but certainly not least, fingerprints were found on the 'Pouletmorph Machine' and a bag of chickenfeed in the professor's laboratory. Members of the Jury, this man is guilty! The Prosecution calls Ernest.
  • Ernest is called to the stand.
  • Prosecutor: Ernest, could you please describe the events of the case as you know them?
  • Ernest: Well, Veronica and I got lost, so I went up to Draynor Manor to ask for directions. After finding the professor, the next thing I remember is waking up with feathers around me and a craving for chickenfeed.
  • Prosecutor: Did the Professor ask you if you wanted to be turned into a chicken?
  • Ernest: No, he certainly didn't.
  • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
  • Prosecutor: The Prosecution calls Ava.
  • Ernest leaves the stand. Ava is called to the stand.
  • Prosecutor: Miss Ava, I believe you observed some of the occurrences described by Ernest?
  • Ava: If you mean I saw a chicken running around the house,
  • Prosecutor: Did the chicken have a name?
  • Ava: Yes, the professor occasionally shouted 'Ernest, stop pecking the wires'!
  • (Jury reaction transcript missing. edit)
  • Judge: I think that will be enough. It's time for you to summarise your case to the Jury.
  • Prosecutor: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I have presented evidence that conclusively proves the Defendant performed an illegal transmogrification on an innocent bystander. By stopping to ask for directions, Ernest only got more lost.
  • Ava leaves the stand.
  • Prosecutor: The professor took advantage of this helpless man and forced him into an existence of pecking, strutting and clucking.
  • (Dialogue ends.)

The defence's case[edit | edit source]

Only if prosecuting:'

Summary[edit | edit source]

  • Defender: My case rests on these points: the feather found on Professor Oddenstein could have been from his bed; the machine in his laboratory could be for any scientific experiment; and, finally, the professor's fingerprint in his OWN laboratory, which is hardly surprising. I called Ava, the laboratory assistant. She never saw a man named Ernest enter or leave the house, only a chicken by the name of Ernest. I then called Veronica, the fiance. She never saw Ernest in chicken form, and he has often lied to delay their wedding. Finally, I called Ernest. He has no recollection of being a chicken, but assumes he became one because he had a craving for chickenfeed. Assumptions are not facts!

Full case[edit | edit source]

  • Defender: Members of the Jury, I am going to present you with evidence that decisively proves Professor Oddenstein is falsely accused. The Prosecution has kindly pointed out that the feather was found on Professor Oddenstein. It could have been from his bed, which, like most beds, is stuffed with feathers. Why must we assume that the doctor transforms people into chickens, when a far more sensible solution is being presented to us? The Prosecution has also brought my client's 'Pouletmorph Machine', into question. The Prosecution has also pointed out several fingerprints belonging to my client. Is it any surprise that items in the professor's OWN laboratory have his fingerprints on them? I would find it more interesting if Ernest's fingerprints were not found. These prints prove nothing. The Defence calls Ava.
  • Ava is called to the stand.
  • Defender: Miss Ava, what can you tell me about the professor's experiments?
  • Ava: Not much. I've been working hard on my own.
  • Defender: So, you can't tell us about his 'Pouletmorph Machine'.
  • Ava: Not really, no.
  • Defender: You said you saw a chicken around the house. Did you ever see a man, named Ernest?
  • Ava: No, I never did.
  • Defender: So, that could have just been a stray chicken?
  • Ava: Occam's Razor. It's the most likely answer.
  • The Jury reacts to the argument and agrees with the defender.
  • Defender: The Defence calls Veronica.
  • Ava leaves the stand. Veronica is called to the stand.
  • Defender: Miss Veronica, can you tell me exactly what happened to you during the events of this 'crime'?
  • Veronica: Well, we got lost. So, Ernest went into Draynor Manor to ask directions. I waited by the gate but he didn't come back.
  • Defender: What state was he in when you next saw him?
  • Veronica: He came out of the mansion a bit confused, talking about turning into a chicken. I assumed he was making up stories again to delay the wedding.
  • Defender: Does he have a habit of doing that?
  • Veronica: He just gets cold feet. He also has a habit of wandering off with strange people.
  • Defender: And you never saw him in the form of a chicken? All you have is his word?
  • Veronica: Yes, that's true.
  • The Jury reacts to the argument and agrees with the defender.
  • Defender: The Defence calls Ernest.
  • Veronica leaves the stand. Ernest is called to the stand.
  • Defender: Ernest, could you describe the events of the case as you know them?
  • Ernest: Well, Veronica and I got lost, so I went up to Draynor Manor to ask for directions. Next thing I remember is waking up to find feathers around me and a craving for chickenfeed.
  • Defender: So, you don't remember being a chicken? You just assumed that, because of the feathers and the craving, that you turned into a chicken?
  • Ernest: Well, it seemed like a pretty logical leap to me.
  • Defender: Assumptions are not facts! You have no proof that you were a chicken and there were no witnesses to the event.
  • The Jury reacts to the argument and agrees with the defender.
  • Judge: I think that will be enough. It's time for you to summarise your case to the Jury.
  • Defender: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I have presented evidence that conclusively proves the Defendant is innocent with regard to these crimes.
  • Ernest leaves the stand.
  • Defender: The Prosecution has built their case on foundations that are circumstantial at best. The professor is an old man who is looking to make the world a better place through invention.
  • (Same as Transcript:Court Cases § Pronouncing verdict.)

See also[edit | edit source]