Transcript of Eadgar's Ruse

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This transcript involves dialogue with Sanfew, Eadgar, Burntmeat, Parroty Pete, Parrots, Tegid, and the player.

Starting out[edit | edit source]

Talking to Sanfew[edit | edit source]

  • Sanfew: What can I do for you young 'un?
  • Select an option
    • Ask about Sanfew Serum.
      • (See the transcript for Sanfew.)
    • Ask general questions.
      • Select an option
        • Have you any more work for me, to help reclaim the circle?
          • Player: Have you any more work for me, to help reclaim the circle?
          • Sanfew: Ah, you've come just in time. I need a certain herb for the next part of the purification ritual... It used to be quite common, but nowadays only the trolls know where to find it. They use it in their cooking, you see. It's a very prized ingredient.
          • Player: And what exactly do you want me to do?
          • Sanfew: Journey to the north into the land of the trolls, and find the secret of the herb the trolls call 'goutweed'. My friend Eadgar lives in the area, and he may be able to help you. Bring some goutweed back and I will teach you something useful.
          • (Quest Overview interface opens.)
            • Not Right Now
              • Player: No thanks.
              • Sanfew: Oh well. No doubt some other adventurer will eventually come who can help me.
            • Accept Quest
              • Player: I'll do it.
              • Sanfew: Thank you, adventurer!
        • Actually, I don't need to speak to you.
          • Player: Actually, I don't need to speak to you.
          • Sanfew: Well, we all make mistakes sometimes.

Talking to Sanfew again[edit | edit source]

  • Sanfew: What can I do for you young 'un?
  • Select an option
    • Ask about Sanfew Serum.
      • (See the transcript for Sanfew.)
    • Ask general questions.
      • Select an option
        • What was I meant to be doing again?
          • Player: What was I meant to be doing again?
          • Sanfew: I've told you already. Journey to the north into the land of the trolls, and find the secret of the herb the trolls call goutweed. My friend Eadgar lives in the area, and he may be able to help you. Bring some goutweed back and I will teach you something useful.
          • Player: I'll get on with it.
        • Actually, I don't need to speak to you.
          • (Same as above.)

Talking to Eadgar[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hi!
  • Eadgar: Welcome to Mad Eadgar's! Happiness in a bowl! Would you care to sample our delicious home cooking?
  • Player: I need to find some goutweed. Sanfew said you might be able to help.
  • Eadgar: Sanfew, you say? Ah, haven't seen him in a while. Goutweed is used as an ingredient in troll cooking. You should ask one of their cooks.

Talking to Eadgar again[edit | edit source]

  • Eadgar: Oh, it's you. Have you talked to the troll cook yet?
  • Player: Not yet.
  • Eadgar: Well, you should do that then. Anything else I can do for you?

Talking to Burntmeat[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Er, hi.
  • Burntmeat: Hmm? What human do in troll kitchen? Burntmeat tired of cooking goats. Human look tasty.
  • Player: Oh, you don't want to eat me! I'm a tough, hardened adventurer, not tender or tasty at all!
  • Burntmeat: Hmm. Burntmeat think you probably right. What human doing here?
  • Player: I'm on a quest to find some goutweed.
  • Burntmeat: Bwahahaha! Burntmeat not give his greatest cooking secret away so easily. But Burntmeat also has quest for human!
  • Player: Really? What is it?
  • Burntmeat: Bring back a tasty human for Burntmeat's stew. If you find tasty human, Burntmeat will give you good reward.
  • Player: Right. I'll just...go fetch that for you then. Bye!

Talking to Burntmeat again[edit | edit source]

  • Burntmeat: Did you find tasty human?
  • Player: Erm, not yet, but I'm working on it...

Eadgar[edit | edit source]

  • (If Eadgar has been spoken to before:)
    • Eadgar: Oh, it's you. Have you talked to the troll cook yet?
    • (Continues below.)
  • (If Eadgar has not been spoken to before:)
    • Player: I need to find some goutweed. Sanfew said you might be able to help.
    • Eadgar: Sanfew, you say? Ah, haven't seen him in a while...
    • (Continues below.)
  • Player: I talked to the troll cook but he wouldn't tell me anything, and now he wants me to find him some tasty human for his stew.
  • Eadgar: Oh dear, that's no good. You can't just go hand over a human to those trolls... Aha! I have a plan!
  • Player: Really?
  • Eadgar: Yes! It's bound to work. First of all, I will need a parrot!
  • Player: A PARROT? Where am I going to find one of those?
  • Eadgar: At the zoo, where else?
  • Eadgar: Anything else I can do for you?
  • Select an option
    • Why do you live so close to the trolls?
      • Player: Why do you live so close to the trolls? Isn't it dangerous?
      • Eadgar: Well, I suppose I do keep getting captured by the trolls and thrown in prison...But they always release me in the end, I'm far too old and skinny for their tastes. In any case, this is my home, and I'm not leaving it. And this area has the tastiest goats!
    • What do you have to offer?
      • Player: What do you have to offer?
      • Eadgar: The chef's recommendation for today is mountain goat stew. I'll give some stew in exchange for logs for my fire. They're hard to come by around here.
      • Select an option
        • I'd like some mountain goat stew, please.
          • (Transcript missing. edit)
        • No thanks, Eadgar.
          • (Same as below.)
    • No thanks, Eadgar.
      • Player: No thanks, Eadgar.
      • Eadgar: Your loss!

Parroty Pete[edit | edit source]

  • Parroty Pete: Good day, good day. Come to admire the new parrot aviary have we?
  • Select an option
    • It's very nice.
      • Player: It's very nice.
      • Parroty Pete: Isn't it just?
    • When did you add it?
      • Player: When did you add it?
      • Parroty Pete: Just recently. It would have been sooner, but some wretch thought it would be amusing to replace their drinking water with vodka. The vet had to nurse them back to health for weeks!
    • What do you feed them?
      • Player: What do you feed them?
      • Parroty Pete: Well, fruit and wheat mostly. I try to give them a balanced diet, but their favourite treat is pineapple chunks.

Using alco-chunks on the aviary hatch[edit | edit source]

  • Player has alco-chunks removed from them. Player receives drunk parrot.
  • You manage to attract a parrot and catch it.
  • Player: Hah! Got you now!
  • Parrot: Sqwaawk...*hic*
  • Parroty Pete: Hey! What are you doing with that parrot?
  • Player: Nothing.
  • Parroty Pete: It looks drunk! You should NEVER feed alcohol to a parrot!
  • Player: Well, good thing I found it! I'll just take it to the vet for you, shall I?
  • Parroty Pete: Oh, thank you! We're ever so busy here at the Zoo.

Cooking Up a Plan[edit | edit source]

  • Eadgar: Oh, it's you. Have you got me a parrot yet?
  • (If the player doesn't have a drunk parrot:)
    • Player: I haven't been able to find one yet.
    • Eadgar: Well, go see if the zoo have one.
    • Select an option
      • Where's the zoo?
        • Player: Where's the zoo?
        • Eadgar: It's in Ardougne, south west of here.
        • Player: Okay, I'll be right back.
        • (Continues above.)
      • Okay, I'll be right back.
  • (If the player has a drunk parrot:)
    • Parrot: Raaawk! Polly wanna cracker!
    • Player: Here it is! Now are you going to explain your plan?
    • Eadgar: Yes, yes, of course. It's quite ingenious really! What we need is something that looks like a human, sounds like a human, smells like a human and tastes like a human.
    • Player: How are we going to make it look like a human?
    • Eadgar: We'll just make a scarecrow. We'll need logs, and 10 sheaves of wheat for stuffing.
    • Player: How are we going to make it sound like a human?
    • Eadgar: That's what the parrot's for, of course.
    • Parrot: Who's a pretty boy then?
    • Eadgar: Although the trolls might get suspicious if it doesn't say what they expect a human to say... You should hide it for a while somewhere it can pick up some more appropriate catchphrases.
    • Player: How are we going to make it smell like a human?
    • Eadgar: Well, we'll need to dress it up anyway; if we use dirty clothes it'll smell human to the trolls. I'm a man of few clothes myself, so you might want to ask old Sanfew about that one.
    • Player: And how are we going to make it taste like a human?
    • Eadgar: That's easy, we'll just stuff it with a few chickens. Everything tastes like chicken! Five raw chickens should be enough. That's the plan.
    • (Continues above.)

Talking to Eadgar again[edit | edit source]

  • Player: What should I do with this parrot?
  • Eadgar: I told you, put it somewhere it'll learn to say the sort of thing the trolls will expect it to say. This is likely to be screaming. There's bound to be a good spot somewhere in the troll prison. Anything else I can do for you?
  • Select an option
    • How are we going to make it look like a human?
      • Player: How are we going to make it look like a human?
      • Eadgar: We'll just make a scarecrow. We'll need logs, and 10 sheaves of wheat for stuffing. Anything else I can do for you?
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • How are we going to make it sound like a human?
      • Player: How are we going to make it sound like a human?
      • Eadgar: That's what the parrot's for, of course. You should hide it for a while somewhere it can pick up some more appropriate catchphrases. Anything else I can do for you?
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • How are we going to make it smell like a human?
      • Player: How are we going to make it smell like a human?
      • Eadgar: Well, we'll need to dress it up anyway; if we use dirty clothes it'll smell human to the trolls. I'm a man of few clothes myself, so you might want to ask old Sanfew about that one. Anything else I can do for you?
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • How are we going to make it taste like a human?
      • Player: And how are we going to make it taste like a human?
      • Eadgar: That's easy, we'll just stuff it with a few chickens. Everything tastes like chicken! Five raw chickens should be enough. Anything else I can do for you?
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • More

Using the drunk parrot on the rack[edit | edit source]

  • Player has drunk parrot removed from them.
  • You hide the parrot under the torture rack.

Dirty Clothes[edit | edit source]

The parrot on the rack[edit | edit source]

Searching the rack after placing it

  • You look under the rack and find the drunk parrot.
  • Parrot: Who's a pretty boy then?
  • Player: I don't think it's done yet.

Sanfew[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Eadgar says he needs some dirty clothes for his plan, and he said you might be able to help.
  • Sanfew: Now why would he need that?
  • Player: It's a long story.
  • Sanfew: Never mind then...I think Tegid is doing his laundry outside. You could ask him if you can borrow one of his dirty robes.

Tegid[edit | edit source]

  • Player: So, you're doing laundry, eh?
  • Tegid: Yeah. What is it to you?
  • Player: Nice day for it.
  • Tegid: Suppose it is.
  • Player: You wouldn't be able to spare any of those dirty robes by any chance? It's a matter of the utmost importance.
  • Tegid: What? No! These are my robes!
  • Select an option
    • Fine.
      • Player: Fine.
    • Sanfew won't be happy...
      • Player: I'm sure Sanfew won't be happy when I tell him it's your fault he can't perform the purification ritual.
      • Tegid: What? Oh well, if it's a matter of that much importance, I suppose you can borrow one...
      • Player receives dirty robe.
    • You'll give me those robes right now...
      • Player: You'll give me those robes right now...or I'm going to cut down trees until you do.
      • Tegid: You wouldn't dare!
      • Player: Of course I would. They're just trees.
      • Tegid: You monster! Take the robes and leave this place!
      • Player receives dirty robe.

The Serum[edit | edit source]

  • (First time:)
    • Player: I hid the parrot under the rack in the troll prison.
    • Eadgar: Good work. How about those other items?
    • (Continues below.)
  • (Afterwards:)
    • Eadgar: How are you getting on?
    • (Continues below.)
  • Player: I have [no/the] logs, [no/five] chickens, [no/ten bundles of] wheat and [no/the] dirty clothes.
  • (If the player is still missing items:)
    • Eadgar: You now need [no/the] logs, [no/five] chickens, [no/ten bundles of] wheat and [no/the] dirty clothes.
    • (Continues above.)
  • (If the player has handed in all items:)
    • Eadgar: That's everything! Good, good, everything is almost finished. Of course, we can't just give him the dummy and expect to get anything useful out of him.
    • Player: Oh?
    • Eadgar: No, of course not. We need to make sure he'll tell you what you need to know.
    • Player: And how do we do that?
    • Eadgar: I happen to know that the trolls are susceptible to a certain kind of plant that grows around this mountain. I call it Troll Thistle. If properly prepared, it can be made into a sort of Troll truth potion.
    • Player: How do you prepare it?
    • Eadgar: You'll have to dry it in a fire, then grind it and mix it into a potion with Ranarr weed.
    • Player: Okay, I'll be back with that soon.
    • (Continues above.)

Talking to him again without making the potion[edit | edit source]

  • Player: How do I make the troll truth potion again?
  • Eadgar: Troll Thistle grows around this mountain. If properly prepared, it can be made into a sort of Troll truth potion.
  • (Continues above.)

Picking troll thistle[edit | edit source]

Dropping troll thistle[edit | edit source]

  • Player has Troll thistle removed from them.
  • The Troll Thistle withers away as soon as it hits the ground.

Using troll thistle on a fire[edit | edit source]

Grinding the dried thistle[edit | edit source]

Using ground thistle on an unfinished ranarr potion[edit | edit source]

Talking to him with the potion[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I've got the troll truth potion.
  • Eadgar: Excellent, hand it here. Now just go fetch that poor parrot back, it's probably had enough by now.
  • Player has Troll potion removed from them.

Talking to him again before fetching the parrot[edit | edit source]

  • Eadgar: Did you get that parrot back?
  • Player: Not yet.
  • Eadgar: Hurry up then.

Retrieving the parrot[edit | edit source]

  • You look under the rack and find the drunk parrot.
  • Parrot: Ah, hello Sir. Could you please free me? I seem to have ... OW! What are you doing? That's my spleen!
  • Player receives drunk parrot.
  • Player: I think it's probably heard enough.

Making the Fake Man[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I've brought the parrot.
  • Eadgar: Hand it here...there we go! Can you tell this isn't a bona fide human being? I sure can't!
  • Fake Man: What am I doing here? Ow! Where's the rest of the Guard? Agh! I won't tell you anything!
  • (Continues above.)

Talking to him again using the fake man[edit | edit source]

  • Eadgar: Have you given the fake man to the troll cook yet?
  • (With the fake man:)
    • Player: Not yet.
    • Eadgar: Go on then, give it to the cook! Anything else I can do for you?
    • (Continues above.)
  • (Without the fake man:)
    • Player: No. I lost it.
    • Eadgar: You bumbling imbecile! Never mind, here's one I prepared earlier.
    • (Continues above.)

Burntmeat[edit | edit source]

  • Burntmeat: Did you find tasty human? Burntmeat smell something good.
  • Player: Yes! Look!
  • Fake Man: Heeeeeeelp!
  • Burntmeat: Ah, dat look like nice tasty human.
  • Fake Man: Aaaargh! Somebody save me!
  • Burntmeat: Yep, sound like human too. Burntmeat put it in stew. Good work, human. Burntmeat give precious reward.
  • Player has fake man removed from them. Player receives burnt meat.
  • Player: This is burnt meat.
  • Burntmeat: It first thing I ever try to cook! Very precious to Burntmeat.
  • Player: Thank you... and how's the stew?
  • Burntmeat: Slurp, mmm... Human stew cheer Burntmeat up!
  • Select an option
    • So, where can I get some goutweed?
      • Player: So, where can I get some goutweed?
      • Burntmeat: Hah! Trolls pick it all until none left, many years ago. Only remaining stock in storeroom. It well guarded, and Burntmeat hide key in fake bottom of kitchen drawer. Nobody find it there.
      • Player: That's some well-guarded secret alright. I'll just be off on my way now.
    • I'll be going now.
      • Player: I'll be going now.
      • Burntmeat: Bye, bye.

Talking to Burntmeat again[edit | edit source]

Searching the kitchen drawers[edit | edit source]

  • You search the drawers...
  • (Without the storeroom key:)
    • Player receives Storeroom key.
    • You open the fake bottom of the drawer and find the storeroom key.
  • (With the storeroom key:)
    • You don't find anything.

A chat with Eadgar=[edit | edit source]

  • Eadgar: Well? Did the plan work?
  • Player: Yes! I can get into the storeroom now.
  • Eadgar: Glad to hear it!

Finishing[edit | edit source]

  • Sanfew: What can I do for you young 'un?
  • Select an option
    • Ask about Sanfew Serum.
      • (See the transcript for Sanfer.)
    • Ask general questions.
      • Player: I have some goutweed!
      • Player has goutweed removed from them.
      • Sanfew: Excellent! I will be able to complete the next part of the ritual now. I will teach you a new spell and give you some of my knowledge in Herblore as a token of thanks. If you ever come across more goutweed, bring it to me; I don't need any more for the ritual, but it's still quite difficult for me to get. I'll exchange it for some other herbs.
      • Congratulations! You have completed: 'Eadgar's Ruse' - Complete this Experienced quest.