Dialogue for Dr. Cole

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Initial dialogue[edit | edit source]

  • Dr. Cole Welcome to the Brassica digsite!
  • Player This doesn't look much like a digsite.
  • Player In fact, I'm fairly certain that this is exactly the same cabbage patch that has always been here.
  • Player Except now, for some reason... there is a giant cabbage?
  • Player Also, why am I a chef...?
  • Dr. Cole Cole's Law!
  • Player Yes please, unless it has too much cabbage in it.
  • Dr. Cole No, you don't understand!
  • Dr. Cole Cole's...
  • Dr. Cole Law!
  • Player Ohhhh.... It's just it sounds a lot like...
  • Player Nevermind.
  • Player So what exactly is Cole's Law?
  • Dr. Cole Well, let me explain...
  • (Screen fades out and back in.)
  • Several hours later...
  • Dr. Cole That's it! Simple, isn't it?
  • Player Sure...
  • Player So you want me to bring you Cabbage[sic] bosons...? That for some reason I can get by killing a giant cabbage?
  • Dr. Cole Spot on! Together we can prove the existance of the widely speculated quantum cabbage field.
  • Player Yes.
  • Player What's in it for me...?
  • Dr. Cole Oh, yes! I almost forgot!
  • Dr. Cole Each time you bring me a Cabbage boson, I'll offer you a reward.
  • Player Great! I'll be right back with one of those bosons in no time.

After the initial dialogue[edit | edit source]

  • Dr. Cole Which reward would you like?
  • Select a reward
    • The Ring of cabbage
      • (If the player has a cabbage boson in their inventory:)
        • Dr. Cole Certainly!
        • Dr. Cole hands you your reward.
        • Dr. Cole eats the Cabbage boson.
        • Dr. Cole Interesting, my understanding grows.
        • Player ...
      • (Otherwise:)
        • Dr. Cole I'm afraid I can't offer you this reward unless you have a Cabbage boson for me.
    • The Ring of rares
      • (If the player has a cabbage boson in their inventory:)
        • Dr. Cole Certainly!
        • Dr. Cole hands you your reward.
        • Dr. Cole eats the Cabbage boson.
        • Dr. Cole Interesting, my understanding grows.
        • Player ...
      • (Otherwise:)
        • Dr. Cole I'm afraid I can't offer you this reward unless you have a Cabbage boson for me.
    • The Cabbage Slayer title
      • (If the player has a Cabbage boson in their inventory:)
        • Dr. Cole Certainly!
        • Dr. Cole awards you the title The Cabbage Slayer.
        • Dr. Cole eats the Cabbage boson.
        • Dr. Cole Interesting, my understanding grows.
        • Player ...
      • (Otherwise:)
        • Dr. Cole I'm afraid I can't offer you this reward unless you have a Cabbage boson for me.
    • 120 Archaeology
      • Dr. Cole I'm terribly sorry but I can only offer this reward to archaeological experts.
      • Dr. Cole That is, those who have already achieved level 99 Archaeology.
      • Player Oh...
      • Player I'll be back!
      • Dr. Cole I'm afraid this was a limited time offer that has now expired.
      • Player ...
    • None.
      • Dr. Cole Okay, goodbye for now.

After receiving all rewards[edit | edit source]

  • Player So, does the quantum cabbage field exist?
  • Dr. Cole No.
  • (Dialogue ends)