Transcript of Do No Evil

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This transcript or section is incomplete and could do with improvement.
Reason: Denying being a human when talking to the three wise monkeys, more monkey colonist dialogue, dialogue with different levels of ice spells, talking to ali without the ring of charos, misc dialogue options
You can discuss this issue on the talk page or edit this page to improve it.

The Mastaba Awaits[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello, Leela.
  • Leela: Hello, [Player], this is a happy coincidence. Or perhaps providence. I was just about to make the trip to the mastaba, east of Uzer, to pay homage to the Pharaoh Queen. I wonder whether you would like to join me? I am sure she'd like to hear of your clash with the Scabarites.
    • Player: How do you know about that?
      • Leela: How could a daughter of Osman not know?
      • Player: Touché.
      • Leela: Quite. So, are you coming or not?
    • Player: Sure, let's go.
      • Leela: Then let us be on our way.
      • You travel through the desert until you arrive at the Pharaoh Queen's mastaba.
      • Senliten: Leela, [Player], welcome.
      • Leela: Your Majesty, it is an honour to finally meet you.
      • Senliten: Leela, you may call me Senliten. [Player] went to some length to retrieve my name; it would be a poor gesture if we did not make good use of it. [Player], if you would excuse us, Leela and I have much to talk about.
      • Player: Er – right. You want me to leave?
      • Senliten: I will call you when I have need of you. If you would just step outside for a moment to grant us some privacy.
      • Player: Oh, okay.
      • Leela and the Pharaoh Queen speak for many hours. Eventually, the Pharaoh Queen calls your name.
      • Senliten: [Player].
    • Player: Sorry, I'm busy at the moment.

An Absence of Apes[edit | edit source]

All is Not Well[edit | edit source]

  • Senliten: Greetings, [Player].
  • Player: You called?
  • Senliten: I thank you again for reinstating the sanctuary of my tomb and awakening me from my death.
  • Player: My pleasure. Leela said that you might be able to help Osman in his important work.
  • Senliten: Osman? Yes, I hope to help him; however, my first loyalty has and always shall be to my kingdom. So much has changed. These are not the lands I remember. Leela tells me that the fertile lands river lands have crumbled into dust and sand, that the forests have been uprooted by the sun, that my once-great empire has fallen to treachery. These changes are nothing but scant warnings of what is to come, if I have read the signs correctly.
  • Player: Your Majesty?
  • Senliten: Leela says you encountered followers of the ancient sect of Scabaras. Expand on this.
  • Player: The Scabarites attacked Sophanem. They believed that they had made contact with Scabaras and were acting on his command, only they were wrong. It wasn't Scabaras, it was...
  • Senliten: Amascut?
  • Player: Yes, Amascut – or the Devourer, as she is now known – deceived the Scabarites and led them to war. No doubt she wanted to burn Sophanem to the ground.
  • Senliten: That is certainly one conclusion we could draw. This is worrying. [Player], these are dark times for the Kharidian Empire. Should I need your aid, could I count upon you?
    • Player: Always, Your Majesty.
      • Senliten: Most noble, [Player].
        • Player: Can I talk about the Scabarites?
          • Senliten: Certainly.
          • Player: Why do you think the Devourer used the Scabarites to attack?
          • Senliten: Why, you uttered the answer from your own lips. She wanted to 'burn Sophanem to the ground'.
            • Player: Ah right, yes, I forgot.
            • Player: But...
              • Senliten: Ah, you are sceptical. Good, yes, very good. I see why Leela respects you. The Scabarites of my day were mainly scholars and intellectuals – the sky, retiring types. They were not warriors that could be used to overthrow a city. Perhaps they have changed... You have to see: they gave up their isolation. There is importance in this. Isolation is the one ideal a Scabarite holds above everything else. Know this: in the attack, the Scabarites lost more than their enemies.
              • Player: So, [Player] meant to hurt the Scabarites?
              • Senliten: Perhaps, perhaps. Let us hope, since the alternative is...surely not...
        • Player: Can I be of service?
          • Senliten: Perhaps, but first let me tell you a story. My memories have only recently returned to me, and it is an indulgence to share them with someone. When I was a young girl, no older than three or four years old, I played in the great pine forests of the eastern Kharidian Empire. A servant watched over me; she was elderly, and I was young and nimble. I evaded her and headed deep into the forest. I remember feeling happy and free, that was the first time I had been alone. For a Pharaoh, solitude is a gift, one we relish greatly but are granted very rarely. As I delved deeper, I heard distant shrieks, and my revelry turned quickly to fear. I started to cry and sat upon the dirt. I knew then of death. I saw it in the jaws of a jackal as it approached. Suddenly, there was a rustle in the trees above, and out dropped a dozen monkeys. They formed a circle about me and bared their teeth at the jackal. To my shock, the jackal turned and ran. In that forest, the jackal feared the monkey, for the monkey fought as one group. The monkeys were friendly animals, kind enough to save a little girl, and through friendship they found strength.
            • Player: What happened to you?
              • Senliten: The monkeys brought me to the edge of the forest and waited till I was found by my father's men. They fell to their knees and worshipped the monkeys like gods.
            • Player: What happened to the servant?
              • Senliten: She returned to the palace and informed the guards of what had happened. After I was found, they led her out into the hotlands and chained her to a stake. They left her to die in the heat. She was so old, I doubt she lived long.
                • Player: That's awful.
                  • Senliten: She had failed in her duties and put my life at risk. Her punishment was to be expected. I imagine she went to her death willingly – the shame would have been great.
            • Player: Where are you going with this?
              • Senliten: The forests are gone and the desert monkeys have no home nor shade to keep out of the heat. Where do they live now?
              • Player: I think that some work with Ali Morrisane's carpet overseers.
              • Leela: Those monkeys are imported from Karamja. They are not native to the desert.
              • Player: Then I don't know. I suppose they must have died out.
              • Senliten: You say that with too little concern. In my time, the monkey was a sacred creature, revered like the cat. I need your help, [Player]. You must return the sacred monkeys to the desert.
                • Not Right Now
                • Accept Quest
                  • Player: What's the big deal? Why are the desert monkeys so crucial?
                  • Senliten: I see you do not connect this with the goddess Apmeken? Go to the city of Sophanem: Leela tells me that the Sphinx sill abides there. She and a local priest called Jex know much about minor deities. Discover all there is to know about a goddess called Apmeken. Doing so will illuminate the importance of the desert monkey.
        • Player: Can we talk about something else?
          • Senliten: Certainly.
          • [Normal dialogue]
        • Player: I have nothing more to say.
    • Player: I think I've done enough already.
Talking with Leela
  • Leela: I have been talking with Senliten. I fear things are far worse in the desert than we could have suspected.
    • Player: Does Osman know you're here?
      • Leela: No. I wasn't meant to make contact with Senliten until directed, but he must learn that I am his daughter, not his slave.
    • Player: What do you think of the Pharaoh Queen?
      • Leela: Senliten? She is remarkable, but I find myself constantly holding my tongue. She's easily offended and painfully proud.
      • Player: By proud you mean stubborn, right?
      • Leela: Ha! Perhaps, but don't let her hear you say that.
    • Player: I'm unable to find any monkeys that seem suitable.
      • Leela: I can't help you with that. The monkeys from Karamja are reportedly cruel and stupid. I wouldn't waste my time with them.
    • Return to the surface.
      • Leela: Let me walk you to the mastaba's entrance, after you walked me all the way here, it seems only fair to return the favour.

Moment of Clarity[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I think I've learnt enough about Apmeken. I think I understand why these monkeys are so important.

What Must Be Done[edit | edit source]

  • Senliten: Greetings, [Player]. Have you learnt all you can about Apmeken from Jex and the Sphinx?
  • Player: Yes, I think I understand why the desert monkeys are essential.
  • Senliten: Good. Apmeken was once a monkey, turned into a deity by Tumeken, father of the Kharidian lands. Monkeys are her symbol, her greatest supporters and her mortal embodiment. Of all the gods, Apmeken is the most humble She is a hard goddess to offend, but, for the Kharidian people to have averted their eyes while her monkeys died – that is an affront to her honour! Leela tells me that the desert is a cruel, harsh and unfriendly place. My descendants turned their back on the goddess of friendship, so what else could they expect? The monkeys must be reintroduced to the desert. Not as pets, but as free creatures. They must be wild, playful and hardy. I must ask that you do this for me. I cannot leave this tomb yet, and I need Leela to act as my eyes and ears.
Talking to Senliten again
  • Senliten: Greetings, [Player].
    • Player: Can we talk about monkeys?
      • Senliten: Certainly. How goes your task?
      • Player: I'm working on bringing the monkeys back to the desert.
      • Senliten: I am pleased you are taking this seriously.

The Wise Ones and the Bananaman[edit | edit source]

Banana?[edit | edit source]

  • Monkey Guard: You're being watched. The king is suspicious of these three, so he has sent me – his bananaman – to keep an eye on them and report any suspicious acts.
  • Player: Did you say 'bananaman'?
  • Monkey Guard: No, I said he sent his best banana to keep a banana on them and to report any suspicious bananas.
  • Player: Are you okay?
  • Monkey Guard: Banana?

OVERREACT![edit | edit source]

  • Player: Excuse me.
  • Mizaru is singing.
  • Mizaru: Born from an egg on a mountain top. The punkiest monkey that ever popped-
  • Player: *Cough* Excuse me!
  • Kikazaru: What is it, hairy?
    • Player: I'm trying to take some of our kind back to the desert-
      • Mizaru: What!
      • Iwazaru: Grrhhm! (Iwazaru looks shocked.)
      • Kikazaru: What? What did [he/she] say?
      • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru points at himself and somehow conveys the desert by pretending to be a cactus.)
      • Kikazaru: Oh. What!
      • Mizaru: What are you jabbering about? 'The desert.' Monkeys don't live in the desert! Ha! Everymonkey knows that.
      • Player: Some chimp told me that they used to, but they all die – err – left. There's this goddess called-
      • Mizaru: Apmeken!
      • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru whacks Mizaru on the side of his head.)
      • Player: Er, right. How do you know about her?
      • Mizaru: Us? How do YOU know about her?
      • Player: Well...
      • Mizaru: Apmeken is a human god!
      • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru mimes a rather unflattering impersonation of a human.)
      • Kikazaru: Human? Where?
      • Mizaru: There!
      • Iwazaru: Mmmph! (Iwazaru points dramatically at you.)
      • Select an option
        • Admit to being a human.
          • Player: Okay, okay. Please don't overreact. I'm a human.
          • Mizaru: OVERREACT!
          • (The monkeys shriek and flail frantically, until they eventually run out of steam.)
          • Player: Are you done?
          • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru nods.)
          • Player: I have a greegree that lets me take on the form of a monkey, and I've been using it to travel around the island unhindered.
          • Mizaru: Psst. We too have a secret.
          • Player: What is it?
          • Mizaru: I'm actually a banker from Lumbridge, Iwazaru's a baker from Varrock and Kikazaru is a knight of Falador. We've also been using greegrees to disguise ourselves.
          • Player: What, really?
          • Mizaru: No! That would be an incredibly underhand and deceptive thing to do.
          • Player: Oh, right, well, my intentions were good. I was just trying to help your king.
          • Mizaru: us your human form and then we'll decide whether you're trustworthy or not.
          • Player: I can't while he's watching.
          • Mizaru: Then get rid of him!
        • Deny the allegation.
          • Player: I'm not a human. I'm just a well-travelled monkey.
          • Iwazaru: Iwazaru shakes his head.
          • Mizaru: Rubbish! Monkeys don't travel. That's such a human response.
          • ends
    • Player: Why are those gorillas standing to attention?
      • Mizaru: Oh, they're just doing drills. I hope they stop soon, as it's rather disconcerting.
      • Iwazaru: Mmm! Mmmmmhmm.
      • Mizaru: Yes, ol' banana-breath over there is the worst. The king sent him to watch us.
    • Player: What's that song about?
      • Mizaru: I forget.
Talking to the monkeys again
  • Mizaru: Show us your human form. I want to see if you have a face we can trust.
  • Player: I can't while he's watching.
  • Mizaru: Then get rid of him!

One banana, two banana...[edit | edit source]

As the monkey guard eats a banana.
  • Monkey Guard: Yum, yum, yum.
If the monkey guard doesn't make it to the end
  • Monkey Guard: Who loves bananas? I do! I do!
  • As the trail of bananas ends, the monkey makes its way back to its sentry position.
When the guard reaches the crate.
  • The monkey eats from the crate.
Talking to the guard
  • Monkey Guard: *Gulp* Gerr'off. Go away!

Battle of Wits[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I think I've gotten rid of that guard.
  • Mizaru: Well, come on then, show us what you've got!
After removing the greegree
  • Kikazaru: By Curious George, [he/she]'s a human!
  • Mizaru: OVERREACT!
  • (They shriek and flail frantically until they eventually run out of steam...again.)
  • Player: Finished?
  • Mizaru: Disguise yourself! Quick, quick, quick!
After putting the greegree back on
  • The monkeys are chattering, as well as using rapid sign language. You only hear snippets of the conversation.
  • Mizaru: ...Apmeken...after all this time...tricking us no doubt...Apmeken...
Fade out/in
  • Mizaru: You say you know of Apmeken, but how can we trust you? You could be sent here by our nemesis to trick us!
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru cuffs Mizaru's ear and presses a finger to his mouth.)
  • Mizaru: Gerroff me! Right, we'll settle this and see how much you really know about her. Apmeken changes her head depending on her mood-
  • Player: Yes, I knew that.
  • Mizaru: Oh, really? Well, what head does she show when she's feeling like being a joker?
    • Player: The monkey head.
    • Player: The baboon head.
      • Kikazaru: Did she get it right?
      • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru nods furiously.)
      • Mizaru: Yeah, she got lucky. Hmmph. So, you're a smarty pants? Reckon you're clued up on the goddess? Well, a real follower of Apmeken would enjoy a good riddle.
      • Player: Fine, fine. Let's hear it.
      • Mizaru: A stupid squirrel came upon a monkey and foolishly challenged him. 'Oh wise and agile monkey, despite your speed and wit, there's one place where I can be, where you shall never sit.' The wise monkey accepts, his eyes alight. Oh, where did that stupid squirrel sit?
        • Player: Down a burrow.
        • Player: Up a tree.
        • Player: Next to a sleeping tiger.
        • Player: On the monkey's shoulder.
          • Mizaru: Silly squirrel thought he was so clever, with his bushy tail, but cunning monkey said: 'You said there was ONE place where I cannot be but you can, yet there are TWO. Care to see?' The curious little squirrel nodded. And the monkey gobbled him up!
          • The monkeys cackle. Even Kikazaru, who you're pretty sure didn't hear the story, laughs.
          • Player: I can see I'm chasing a dead-end here. I'm going.
          • Mizaru: Wait!
          • Player: What?
          • Mizaru: It was a test!
          • Player: Wasting my time was a test?
          • Mizaru: No! No! It was all a cunning assessment, a battle of wits! Let us tally the results, divide by twelve, multiply by seven, add the remainder to the power of four...why, you passed with flying colours!
          • Player: You'll come with me?
          • Mizaru: Er, well, yes, fine. We'll come, then.
          • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru conveys what's happening to Kikazaru.)
          • Kikazaru: We'll need more monkeys! You'll need to go to the king.
          • Iwazaru: Prrhhmm! (Iwazaru pulls at Kikazaru's ear.)
          • Kikazaru: Not now, Iwazaru! Go to the king, [Player]. You will need to convince him. Hmmm, say you want to start a colony in the desert; that should do it!
          • Iwazaru: Rarrghh! Raaagggh! (Iwazaru thumps Kikazaru on the side of the head and pretends to be a monster.)
          • Kikazaru: Quiet down!
    • Player: The ape head.
    • Player: The lion's head. Rarrrgh!
Talking to the monkeys again
  • Mizaru: Has the king agreed to form a colony in the desert?
  • Player: No, not yet.

Express Delivery[edit | edit source]

Choc Full of Goodness[edit | edit source]

  • If wearing the normal monkey greegree
    • Awowogei: Hello diplomat. Is there anything I can do for you?
  • If wearing another monkey greegree
    • Awowogei: Hello, stranger. What can I do for you?
  • Player: I'm looking for some fellow monkeys to repopulate the Kharidian Desert.
  • Awowogei: That's human territory! Why would I want to send my monkeys there?
    • Player: To build the greatest monkey colony ever!
      • Awowogei: A colony? What a fantastic idea! We'll build it on Karamja.
      • Uwogo: Karamja would be perfect, Your Majesty.
      • Player: No, no! It needs to be in the desert.
      • Awowogei: The desert? That dead place? Why would we want to build it there?
      • Player: Erm, to build a stronghold. To create a bastion of monkey power in the center of the desert! The camels will fear you, Your Majesty.
      • Awowogei: Colonies are built for trade. What would we trade with the desert? Sand? Oo-oo-oo-ah-ah-ah!
      • Uwogo: Oh, good one, Your Majesty.
      • Player: The desert has lots of fine goods to trade.
      • Awowogei: Ha! Name one.
        • Player: Sand!
          • Awowogei: Bwa-hah-hah! Baw-ha-ho!
          • Uwogo: *Chortles*
        • Player: Camels from Pollnivneach.
          • Awowogei: Those sand-spitters? No thanks!
        • Player: Magic carpets from Al Kharid.
          • Awowogei: A carpet should stay where it is, not move about.
          • Uwogo: *Chortles*
        • Player: Spices.
          • Awowogei: Spices? Hot hot hot! No thanks.
        • Player: Scimitars from Al Kharid.
          • Awowogei: Scimitars? We have scimitars already! You want us to trade scimitars for scimitars? You're pretty stupid, for a monkey.
        • Player: Choc ices from Nardah.
          • Awowogei: A choc ice? What's that?
          • Player: It's a chocolatey, creamy treat that tastes cold in any weather.
          • Awowogei: Sounds delicious.
          • Player: Oh, it is.
          • Awowogei: All chocolatey and creamy...
          • Player: Uh-huh.
          • Awowogei: ...and cold on a hot day...
          • Player: Right, yeah.
          • Awowogei: ...and in the shape of a monkey.
          • Player: Of cour- well, er, no, it's sort of rectang-
          • Awowogei: Pfft!
          • Player: I mean, well, it could be?
          • Awowogei: Bring me a choc ice shaped like a monkey. If it's as good as you say it is, we can talk business.
        • Player: Sandals.
          • Awowogei: Bwa-ha-hah! Baw-ha-ho!
          • Uwogo: *Chortles*
        • Player: Gems from Al Kharid.
          • Awowogei: Gems? Coloured stones? Why would we want them? We've got heaps of them!
          • Player: Really? Where?
          • Awowogei: Never you mind!
        • Player: Kebabs from Pollnivneach.
          • Awowogei: What's a kebab?
          • Player: Spicy meat wrapped in a flatbread.
          • Awowogei: Oooh, is it squirrel meat?
          • Player: No, I think it's erm...camel?
          • Awowogei: Yuck!
        • Player: Granite from the west of the desert.
          • Awowogei: Oooh, like the crab?
          • Player: No, it's a chalky sort of rock.
          • Awowogei: Why would anyone want that?
          • Player: Actually, I have no idea.
    • Player: To appease the great desert goddess Apmeken.
      • Awowogei: How dare you mention that false monkey-god's name!
      • Player: But-
      • Awowogei: Arrest that monkey!
      • You are knocked unconscious by a blow to the head!
    • Player: I'm not sure, really.
Talking to the king again
  • Awowogei: Where's my choc ice?
  • Player: I haven't managed to procure one yet.
  • Awowogei: Hurry! Another monkey offered to bring me a 'corn dog' if I built a colony in Lumbridge. Oo-oo-ah-ah-ah!
  • Uwogo: *Chortles*

Special Order[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Good day! I'd like to commission a special kind of choc ice.
  • Rokuh: Ah, so you've heard of my legendary choc ices! You shall have one in the smallest of seconds, for the meagre price of this: of only one hundred gold coins.
  • Player: I'm not after one of your usual choc ices. I'd like a less 'conventional' one, one shaped like a chimp.
  • Rokuh: Shaped like a chimp? Whatever for?
  • Player: If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.
  • Rokuh: Ah, a particularly particular customer, I'm guessing. I have known many eccentrics in my time. They're people of exacting standards and deep wallets, yes? I shall make you a *chuckles* chimp ice for 1,000 coins.
    • Player: Deal!
      • Rokuh: Excellent! Excellent! I will need a mould in which to set the iced chocolate. Do you have such an item?
        • If you don't have the mould.
          • Player: No, I don't make a habit of walking around with monkey-shaped ice cream moulds.
          • Rokuh: Neither do I, friend. I suggest you procure one so that I can make your chimpish treat.
        • If you have the mould
          • Player: Well, I have this amulet mould. It's in the shape of a monkey's head.
          • Rokuh: That will do perfectly. Hand it over.
          • You hand over the monkey amulet mould. Rokuh delves into the nearby ice cooler and emerges a few minutes later with a choc ice in the shape of a monkey's head.
          • Rokuh: Ah, well, hmm, yes... Here's your chimp ice!
          • Player: Is there a problem?
          • Rokuh: No problem at all, my dear friend – no problem at all. Well, perhaps there's but the smallest of problems: a gnat-sized one, you understand. The magic that keeps the ice frozen seems to be escaping out from the unconventional shape. It appears that a rectangular shape is far superior at containing magic than a monkey shape.
          • Player: That doesn't sound good.
          • Rokuh: Do not worry yourself! As I said, it is but the smallest of problems. As long as you refrain from teleporting while holding it, all will be fine, I'm sure.
            • Player: Why shouldn't I teleport?
              • Rokuh: Such a surge of matter-disrupting magic will likely melt your chimp ice to a puddle, my friend.
              • [Goes to second option automatically]
            • Player: Okay, so don't teleport and then it won't melt?
              • Rokuh: Of course, of course. Well, perhaps not...
              • Player: What?
              • Rokuh: Well, the magic is seeping out, my friend. You'll have to think of a way to keep that tasty treat frozen. Now, set off, my friend, before you find that your choc ice is a puddle of chocolate.
              • You hand over 1,000 coins in exchange for the chimp ice.
    • Player: No deal.

Ice Day for It[edit | edit source]

Attempting to freeze the chimp ice without suitable tools
  • Player: I don't have any spells suitable for freezing this at the moment.
Attempting to use an ice cooler on the chimp ice
  • Nice try, but the cooler isn't cold enough to keep the chimp ice frozen.
Casting an ice spell on the chimp ice
  • What spell will you use on the chimp ice?
    • Ice Rush
    • Ice Blitz
    • Ice Blast
      • Player: That should keep it frozen for a bit longer. It won't last forever though.
    • Ice Barrage
    • Cancel

Fit for a Monkey-King[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I've brought you a chimp ice fit for a monkey-king, Your Majesty.
  • Awowogei: Let me see, let me see!
  • Player: Here you go.
  • Awowogei: Mmmmm. Mmmmm *gulp* mmmm. This is superb! This could rival even a stuffed snake. These can only be made in the Kharidian Desert?
  • Player: Yes, Your Majesty.
  • Awowogei: Then you shall have your colony!
  • Player: That's very generous.
  • Awowogei: Yes, yes, I shall have more of these. Then for every meal! We shall run the desert dry of these tasty little snackerels.
  • Player: Er, Your Highness?
  • Awowogei: Yes?
  • Player: Can I have the monkeys?
  • King Awowogei hands you a barrel of monkeys.
  • Player: A barrel of monkeys? How convenient. Better pick up those three wise old monkeys.
Talking to the king again
  • Awowogei: How is the colony fairing? I expect my first shipment of chimp ices soon.
  • Player: I'm working on it, Your Majesty.
Shaking the barrel
  • You gently shake the barrel to get the monkeys' attention.
  • Monkey: Let us out!

Kharidian Colony[edit | edit source]

One More Stop[edit | edit source]

  • Mizaru: Has the king agreed to form a colony in the desert?
  • Player: Yes! He gave me this barrel of monkeys.
  • Mizaru: Excellent, we'll hop on in.
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru beats his fists on the ground.)
  • Player: What's the matter with him?
  • Mizaru: Nothing, nothing. Let's go.
  • Player: Iwazaru, do you want to stay here?
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru shakes his head.)
  • Player: What's the matter, then?
  • Mizaru: Come on, come on. Let's get in that barrel.
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru shrugs.)
  • The monkeys jump into the barrel.
  • Player: Where in the desert do we need to go?
  • Mizaru: Between the camel's humps!
  • Player: Huh?
Talking to the monkeys while not in the desert
  • You gently shake the barrel to get the monkeys' attention.
  • Player: Where are we meant to go?
  • Mizaru: Where are we?
  • Iwazaru: Grrhmmph! (Iwazaru does some complex monkey sign language that you don't understand.)
  • Mizaru: We're not in the desert, that's for sure. Try heading to the desert, you great big banana!
Attempting to release the monkeys in the wrong spot
  • You begin to open the barrel to release the monkeys.
  • Mizaru: No, no, no! This doesn't look right.
  • Kikazaru: Certainly doesn't sound right, either.

Between the Camel's Humps[edit | edit source]

Talking to the monkeys while in the desert
  • You gently shake the barrel to get the monkeys' attention.
  • Player: Where are we meant to go?
  • Mizaru: A bird's-eye view could help to find the desert's mountain camel.
  • Player: Why do you insist in talking in riddles?
  • Mizaru: Build a colony between the mountain camel's humps. It's simple, dungbrain!
Once in the right spot
  • You begin to open the barrel to release the monkeys.
  • Kikazaru: Perfect!
  • The monkeys make a camp...of sorts.

Carpet Conundrum[edit | edit source]

Life's a Picnic[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Well, if you guys are settled, I'll be going.
  • Mizaru: Settled? Settled? Oh, yes, settled. Life's a picnic.
  • Player: Is that sarcasm?
  • Mizaru: How are we supposed to do anything in this flea-bitten hellhole?
  • Player: Ah, it was sarcasm.
  • Mizaru: If you aren't on the carpet network, you're nothing around here. No tourists, no trade, nuthink!
  • Player: Really? Carpets don't seem much quicker than running, if you ask me.
  • Mizaru: Pfffffffffffffffft!
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru cuffs Mizaru around the back of the head.)
  • Player: So, you want me to get you on the carpet network?
  • Mizaru: Speak to Ali Morrisane. He's the man in the know when it comes to carpets!

Ali M[edit | edit source]

  • Ali Morrisane: Hello [Player]. How's the adventuring going?
  • Player: I'm interested in setting up a new magic carpet route.
  • Ali Morrisane: No, no, no.
  • Player: Excuse me?
  • Ali Morrisane: I've lost enough money trying to set up new carpet routes. Not interested-
  • Player: - But -
  • Ali Morrisane: You won't persuade me on this one.
  • Player: (Persuade) It can't hurt to tell me why not.
  • Ali Morrisane: Hmmph. Well, I've lost money trying to set up a carpet route to the pyramid north of Menaphos; after all, a lot of traffic is going that way. We transported a carpet from Al Kharid but it got caught in a sandstorm. Most of the goods fell off and my dear cousin, Alex the Brave, barely escaped the storm with his life.
  • Player: Have you tried to retrieve the goods?
  • Ali Morrisane: We had a look, but the sandstorm seems to have covered them up.
  • Player: So, they're lost to the desert?
  • Ali Morrisane: Perhaps, unless...
  • Player: What?
  • Ali Morrisane: It's nothing.
  • Player: (Persuade) Come on you can tell me...
  • Ali Morrisane: The goods were kept in five large metal crates. I've heard tales of a young scientist in Draynor who has done amazing things with undead chickens and magnets.
  • Player: Ava?
  • Ali Morrisane: Ah, you know of her! I intended to have her build me a device that could detect metal underground. Only, I don't have the time to travel to Draynor, let alone search the desert. I suppose I'll have to hire someone.
  • Player: (Persuade) I don't suppose you have one of those metal crates handy?
  • Ali hands you a metal crate.
  • Ali Morrisane: Of course. Here you go, my friend.
  • Player: Thank you, Ali. You've been uncharacteristically obliging.
    • Player: What route did the carpet take?
      • Ali Morrisane: I will not say! You plan to retrieve the goods for yourself and start your own carpet network! You've shown your hand already, friend.
      • Player: (Persuade) Oh, go on, how could I start a network to rival your own: the amazing, entrepreneurial Ali Morrisane?
      • Ali Morrisane: I suppose there's no harm in telling you, you're just interested, that's all. The carpet set off from Al Kharid, headed south, and was blown off course and went west around the Desert Mining Camp. My cousin, Alex, was forced to crash land between the Desert Mining Camp and the Bedabin Camp, north of that strange camel-shaped crop of rock. The crates should be somewhere in that region.
      • Player: Camel-shaped rock? You're just like those crazy monkeys! It looks more like an elephant to me.
      • Ali Morrisane: Monkeys? Elephants? Are you feeling alright, friend? You haven't been in the sun too long, have you?
    • Player: Would you hire me to find your goods?
      • Ali Morrisane: No. You'd only find the rugs and use them for yourself.
      • Player: That's not a bad idea.
      • Ali Morrisane: What?
      • Player: Nothing.
    • Player: How were you planning to retrieve the goods again?
      • Ali Morrisane: Ha! And let you find them? I think not! I will not say.
      • Player: (Persuade) Please? I'm sure it was a plan as cunning as you are clever.
      • Ali Morrisane: Well, it was certainly a cunning plan. I was going to contact Ava, a scientist in Draynor Manor who has been working with devices that attract metal. I was going to have her make a device to find the goods lost in the desert.
    • Leave
      • Player: Goodbye, Ali.
Opening the metal crate
  • The crate is empty. What? You didn't think Ali Morrisane would give you something for free, did you?

Ava-ntageous Upgrade[edit | edit source]

Talking to Ava about making a metal detector
  • Player: Hello, Ava. I need to find a way of detecting metal crates buried underground. Could my device be upgraded to do that?
  • Ava: 'Oh, hello Ava can you do this? Can you upgrade that?' What happened to 'How are you today, Ava?' or 'Gee, Ava, what's up in your life?'
  • Player: Woah! Sorry, you just seem quite matter-of-fact. I thought I'd be direct.
  • Ava: Oh, I'm matter-of-fact, am I? You sure know how to compliment a girl, don't you?
  • Player:
  • Ava: I think it should be possible.
  • Player: Huh?
  • Ava: I should be able to upgrade the accumulator. You just asked? Remember?
  • Player: But then you, you said...oh...never mind. I give up.
  • Ava: Oh, I love to see you flustered. I'll only need to make a minor adjustment. Do you have the accumulator on you?
    • If no
      • Player: No, sorry.
      • Ava: No, of course not. Why bring the device you want modifying? Go and get it. If you've lost it, I can sell you a replacement.
    • If yes
      • Player: Yes, I've got it here.
      • Ava: Excellent, and I'll need a sample metal crate. It must be exactly the same as the crates you're searching for, in order to adjust the sensitivity correctly. Do you have one on you?
      • Player: Here you go.
      • Ava: Good [boy/girl].
      • Player: So, how are-
      • Ava: Shhh.
      • Ava: Almost there.
      • Ava: There, all done. Behold: Ava's alterter! It will only detect metal crates of the exact size and metal grade of the sample crate. As always, ensure you aren't wearing metal armour when operating it. When you're in close proximity to a crate, the undead chicken will start screeching, so you'll know that you're close. The more it screeches, the closer you are. Dig when you think you've found it. In addition to this new feature, it will continue to retrieve your arrows and can scavenge for metal in the same manner as the accumulator. All that remains now is to test it. Two seconds.
      • Ava: I've hidden that crate in the grounds of the mansion. Get a spade and see if you can find it, then report back to me.

Tried and Tested[edit | edit source]

Talking to Ava about the alerter
  • Player: I found the crate. The alerter is a great success!
  • Ava: Glad to hear it.
  • Player: Thanks, Ava, you've been very helpful.
  • Ava takes the metal crate from you.
  • Ava: Oh, stop gushing. I can never get a word in edgeways with your pleasantries and inexhaustible flowery prose.

Desert Sweeper[edit | edit source]

  • You uncover a metal crate and open it. The crate is empty. You see a big hole in the bottom; whatever was in here isn't any more. You discard the crate.
  • You uncover a metal crate and open it. The crate contains some gems. You discard the crate.
  • You uncover a metal crate and open it. The crate contains a waterskin and a few noted waterskins. You discard the crate.
  • You uncover a metal crate and open it. The crate contains some gems. You discard the crate.
  • You uncover a metal crate and open it. Aha! Finally, Ali's lost carpets! With these, you'll be able to start a carpet network in the monkey colony.
Handing in the rugs
  • Player: I've managed to procure some magic rugs for you. It wasn't easy.
  • Mizaru: Not a bad job!

Economics for Dummies[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I've got you on the carpet network. All's good now?
  • Mizaru: Yes, yes! You'd be amazed by the number of tourists who've swamped here to see this pile of rocks! Apparently, the rubble has great geological importance.
  • Player: Wow! There's a stroke of luck.
  • Mizaru: I was being sarcastic, nimwots! No one is going to come and see a bunch of rocks. No tourists, no money; no money, no bananas; no bananas, no monkeys!
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru pushes Mizaru out of the way and hands you a book.)
  • Player: I've got to do what's written here?
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru nods.)
Once completed
  • Player: Am I done?
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru looks around.) (Iwazaru nods happily.)

Punch-Out[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Right, I've built your stalls and a tent. I've traipsed halfway across the desert to find you a carpet. Please say I'm done!
  • Mizaru: You might as well have drawn a big target on us and fired a catapult! Humans love gems! A lot! How are we meant-
  • Kikazaru: Let me handles this! Now, what's going on?
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru explains something in rapid, almost dizzying sign language.)
  • Kikazaru: Ah, I see. Yes, we need monkey knives. Seeing that you caused this mess, you'll need to sort it out. If you don't, we'll be knifed in our sleep.
  • Mizaru: [Player] probably wants that.
  • Player: What are monkey knives?
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru quickly translates.)
  • Kikazaru: They're knives wielded by the fearsome monkey knife fighters.
    • Player: They sound fierce. How am I meant to steal from them?
      • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru punches Kikazaru and translates by pretending to carry a sack of loot.)
      • Kikazaru: They're the king's best, and will notice any sleight of hand. I'd punch 'em and pickpocket 'em while they're unconscious. You'll need to have a lot of strength to knock one of them out – more than a little monkey or human could muster.
    • Player: Right, I'll get on with it.
Talking to them again
  • Player: Where can I find those monkey knives?
  • Kikazaru: Monkey knives! We need monkey knives!
  • Player: Yes, but where?
  • Kikazaru: Monkey knives!
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru cuffs Kikazaru to get his attention, and rather enthusiastically makes a stabbing gesture.)
  • Kikazaru: Ah, right: only Ape Atoll's monkey knife fighters carry them. You'll need to punch and rob them to bring at least six back.
    • Player: They sound fierce. How am I meant to steal from them?
    • Player: Right, I'll get on with it.
After procuring the knives
  • You show Kikazaru the knives.
  • Kikazaru: Son of a chimp! Well done! I'll hand them out.

A Job Well Done[edit | edit source]

  • Player: What now? Slippers made from kebbit-hide? A parasol stolen from the king of Varrock? A tree grown from the sweat of the Chaos Elemental?
  • Mizaru: No, I think that's it.
  • Player: What, really?
  • Iwazaru: Prrrhmmm! Pffffhrrrrm! (Iwazaru is trying to tell you something.)
  • Mizaru: Sure, that's it. Thanks for all the help.
  • Kikazaru: Apmeken would be proud!
Talking to them again
  • Player: Is there anything else I can do for you?
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru makes some strange signals.)
  • Mizaru: No, no, we'll be fine.

The Desert for the Sand[edit | edit source]

  • Osman: I expressly ordered you to return to Draynor!
  • Leela: You ask so much but say so little. I am not an agent who will follow you blindly anymore.
  • Pharaoh Queen: Do not argue here.
  • Osman: I ask only for what must be done. Else, Al Kharid will fall to the tyrant of Menaphos. We must stay vigilant. You, Leela, must be constantly ready. The plan needs to go ahead. You don't realise how important this is!
  • Leela: Only because you do not tell me why it is important! I told you I was done with your spy games. I have found my own path, my own important work to do.
  • Osman: Oh, yes, I've heard all about your 'important work'. The wildlife sanctuary in the desert? My friends find it most amusing.
  • Leela: No.
  • Osman: Do you think it's funny to see your father ridiculed, as his daughter wastes time playing with monkeys?
  • Pharaoh Queen: Osman, if only you could look less at the ways of man and more at the ways of monkeys...
  • Osman: Enough! I sense we are not alone. Ah! I should have known! The chief monkey [him/her]self! If you will all forgive me, I have real work to do. Leela, when you are ready to put aside this foolishness, you know how to contact me.
  • Pharaoh Queen: Your father should watch his tongue, Leela.
  • Leela: Advice he rarely needs, I can assure you.
Talking with Leela
  • Leela: I have been talking with Senliten. I fear things are far worse in the desert than we could have suspected.
    • Talk about monkeys.
      • Leela: How is your task fairing?
      • Player: Strangely.
      • Leela: Is that not always the way?
    • Player: Osman doesn't seem happy with you.
      • Leela: I don't think Osman is ever 'happy' with anyone.
      • Player: So, you're staying?
      • Leela: He is not my master. Sometimes he is too wrapped up in his world of espionage and betrayal to see the desert for the sand.
      • Player: Nice turn of phrase!
      • Leela: Thanks.
Talking to Senliten
  • Senliten: Greetings, [Player].
  • Player: I've established the monkey colony, Your Majesty.
  • Senliten: Very good! This will surely appeas-
    • Player: Hey, where's my reward?
    • Player: Is something wrong?
      • Senliten: Something is not right. Return to the colony, quick.

Simian Scuffle[edit | edit source]

Stroke of Genius[edit | edit source]

  • As you look upon the dead monkeys, you feel the shadow of a breath on your neck. A chill carries down your spine, and you can't help thinking that you're not alone.
Talking with no amulets
  • Dead monkey: Oooo-wooo-ooo!
  • Player: Hmmm, a dead monkey. How on earth am I meant to speak to that?
Talking with a ghostspeak amulet
  • Dead monkey: Ook-ook! Ah-cha-cha!
Creating the cramulet
  • A small but subtle change courses through you. You have a sudden awareness of how to join these amulets together.
Talking with a cramulet made up of both amulets
  • Player: Hello?
  • Dead monkey: We couldn't stop them... they were too strong.
  • Player: What happened here?
  • Dead monkey: Three masked murderers came...slaughtered the camp. I survived...I don't know how...
  • Player: But you're... Oh, they killed everyone? Even the three wise monkeys?
  • Dead monkey: No, they still live, carried off by the butchers. Iwazaru was taken to the smokey depths beneath Pollnivneach...where the banshees squeal. There he will surely be devoured. I don't know where they took the others.
    • Player: Why didn't they kill the wise monkeys?
      • Dead monkey: The desert monkeys? They escaped these murders...long...long...ago...
    • Player: Who took them?
      • Dead monkey: Three masked butchers...fragments of gods...scourge of my people.
    • Player: I must try to rescue them.
      • Dead monkey: The one who took Iwazaru is a dangerous foe. Do not fight him from afar, embrace his snapping teeth and deadly grip. You are not like other humans. I will track down the help your quest for...death.

Speak No Evil[edit | edit source]

Bottom of the Well[edit | edit source]

  • Leeuni: My sisters and I thank you for returning the monkeys to us.
  • Iwazaru: Mmmm mmmm mmm!
  • Leeuni: We cracked their little heads and sucked innards from their ruptured necks.
    • Player: W-w-what are you?
  • Leeuni: I am Leeuni, formed from the lips of a goddess. Now, leave.
  • Player: Not without Iwazaru.
  • Leeuni: Very well. I shall feast upon your guts.
    • Player: You're going to die here.
During battle
  • Leeuni: Stop hiding those lips from me.
  • Leeuni: Rraaagh!
Once she is defeated
  • Leeuni: No, no, just one more bite. Just one...more...
After winning
  • Apmeken: From my lips she plucked my words and moulded them into Leeuni. I could no longer reassure the desert people, so they turned distrustful and fought with one another.
  • Player: Woah, what's going on here?
  • Player: Iwazaru! Are you alright?
  • Iwazaru: Mmmm! Mmmm!
  • As you are unable to understand Iwazaru, you free him and escort him back to the colony.

One Down[edit | edit source]

  • Dead monkey: You saved Iwazaru. Now I have a friend...even if he is a little uncommunicative. Thank you.
  • Player: Have you managed to track down the others?
  • Dead monkey: I followed Mizaru's tracks deep underground. The butcher dragged him through caves full of giant bugs...even past a bug queen. Unless you are determined to warned: the creature who took Mizaru is fearsome with her fists. Stay your distance but do not hide...for she will...find you.
  • Player: Thanks.
Talking to Iwazaru
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru waves at you.)

See No Evil[edit | edit source]

Beyond the Queen[edit | edit source]

  • Ayuni: Iiii see you are persistant. My siiister's tongue only served to sliiip her up. Iiii shall not be defeated quite so easiiily.
  • Mizaru: Help! Help! (No amulet: Ook Ook! Ook. Ook. Ook. Ah Uh Ah!)
  • Ayuni: Iiii can see into your soul. Iiii see your fear, your lack of confiiidence. Giiive up, my dear. Giiive up.
During battle
  • Ayuni: Come iiinto the liiight and play.
Once finished
  • Ayuni: Iiiiii diiid not forsee thiiiis.
  • Ayuni: Iiiiii am free...
  • Apmeken: From my eyes she chipped my sight, which bore Ayuni. I could no longer watch over the desert people; without my watchful gaze, they turned to darkness, crime and hate.
  • Player: What is going on here?
  • Player: Mizaru, are you alright?
  • Amulet worn.
    • Mizaru: Oh! Is that you, [Player]? 'Bout time you showed up! My brothers – are they alright?
    • Player: I've managed to rescue Iwazaru, but I haven't found Kikazaru yet.
  • No amulet.
    • Mizaru: Ook Ook! Ah Uh Ah! Ah! Ah Ah!
    • Player: I'm going to need my cramulet or monkeyspeak amulet to speak with him.
Talking to Mizaru
  • Player: What's going on here? What were those things? You and your brothers aren't...Apmeken?
  • Mizaru: Apmeken? Us? No. We're sputtering idiots. No, no – I suppose I should start from the beginning. A long time ago, when I was still a young chimp – longer ago than you may think – there were two goddesses: Apmeken, the goddess of friendship, and Amascut, the goddess of evil and destruction.
  • Player: The priests say that Amascut isn't evil; they say that destruction is very necessary.
  • Mizaru: Pfft! Priests? Priests are paid to lie; we monkeys said it as we saw it, and, believe me, we saw evil. Over the centuries, it was said that Amascut kept away from Apmeken. Amascut considered her too weak and insignificant to deal with. However, unbeknownst to Amascut, Apmeken and some of the lesser deities worked to bring peace to the long-warring desert. Slowly, they patched the ill-feeling between Al Kharid and Menaphos. Fifty years ago, the progressive young Pharaoh of Menaphos proposed an alliance of Al Kharid, in the hopes of bringing prosperity to the desert. He was a worshipper of Apmeken. Amascut was furious. Without war there could be no destruction on the scale that she desired. She cursed the pharaoh and hunted down Apmeken. They fought a battle in the dunes of the desert. It did not last long; Apmeken was no fighter. Amascut could not destroy the lesser god, but she could curse her, so she stole Apmeken's sight, hearing, and speech. Perhaps we were caught in the boundaries of the curse, or perhaps we suffered in sympathy; I don't know, but many of us desert monkeys lost our senses.
  • Player: How terrible! So, that's how you lost your sight? And your brothers their speech and hearing?
  • Mizaru: Yes, but Amascut was not satisfied with merely incapacitating us. She took Apmeken's stolen senses and, from them, forged three foul creatures – Leeuni, Ayuni and Eruni – setting them upon the monkey population. Perhaps, if we'd had our senses, more of us would have survived. My brothers and I were able to escape by helping one another. After travelling to Karamja, we heard about Ape Atoll and set off for it. As far as I know, we were the only ones to survive the massacre.
    • Player: How did you find out about all this? How do you know about Apmeken's feud with Amascut, about the curse? You're only a monkey!
      • Mizaru: Yes, but a very old monkey!
    • Player: You're not as stupid as you pretend to be.
      • Mizaru: Heh! And you're not as ugly as you look.
      • Player: What?
      • Mizaru: Heh heh heh!
    • Player: Where's Apmeken now?
      • Mizaru: That really is the question, isn't it? Shame I have no answer to it.
    • Player: Why did you return to the desert? Did you know that monsters would still be here?
      • Mizaru: Hmm, ah, well... Rescue my brother, then we'll talk more about that. I'd offer to help, but I'm more likely to lop your head off than the enemy's.
        • Return to the colony.
        • Continue to chat.
    • Return to the colony.

One to Go[edit | edit source]

  • Dead monkey: Mizaru is safe, but he ignores me, just like Iwazaru.
  • Player: Any luck tracking down Kikazaru?
  • Dead monkey: I followed his scent to Uzer, but the trail ended there. I am sorry that I can be of no more help.
  • Player: I'll check out Uzer and see what I can find.
  • Dead monkey: It will hear your approach. You cannot hide from it. Death awaits you.
Talking to the monkeys
  • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru waves at you.}
  • Mizaru: You need to find Kikazaru.

Hear No Evil[edit | edit source]

  • Player: This place still gives me the shivers.
  • Eruni: I hear that my sisters failed to crush you, Champion of Filthy Apes, but you will not defeat me! This is a place of magic: a realm that I can bend to my will.
  • Eruni: Do you hear that? It is the sound of defeat.
After winning
  • Eruni: Ah. Defeated by a mortal...
  • Apmeken: From my ears she stole all sound and crafted Eruni. I could no longer hear the voices of the desert people, and we became isolated from one another. Soon, the desert people became deaf to each other's pleas. Reason and mercy left these lands.
  • Player: ...
  • Kikazaru: Well done, well done!
  • Player: I need to know what's been happening here.
  • Kikazaru: I suppose you'll want to know what's been happening here?
  • Player: Well, yes...
  • Kikazaru: No? I really think you ought to. Come to the colony with me, and we'll explain all there.

Smiling Sun[edit | edit source]

A Goddess' Gratitude[edit | edit source]

  • Mizaru: We had always meant to return. The desert was our real home, but our life in Ape Atoll had become comfortable. We had plenty of scope for mischief, what with the influx of half-witted gnomes. If you hadn't mentioned Apmeken, perhaps we would have never returned, but everything fell into place. It seemed that, finally, there were humans who cared; humans who would help us build a colony. With a colony, we could forge alliances with the locals, arm our guards and prepare to battle Amascut's monsters. We would have hunted them down, if needs be. Once they were destroyed, we were sure Apmeken would be restored. The monsters struck as soon as you left...
  • Player: Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped more than I did.
  • Iwazaru: Mmm! Mmm!
  • Mizaru: Iwazaru wanted to, but we felt we couldn't risk it. If we awakened those creatures, innocent humans could have been killed. If you had known that, you may not have taken the risk.
    • Player: That was my choice to make.
    • Player: And what of Apmeken?
      • Apmeken: Your deeds restored my senses, [Player].
      • Player: My god, a goddess!
      • Player: It is an honour...
      • Kikazaru: Who is [he/she] talking to?
      • Mizaru: Search me, [he/she]'s gone nutty.
      • Apmeken: When I lost my senses, I turned my back on the desert. I was incapacitated, and the slaughter of my beloved monkeys robbed me of my heart. I could not hear their cries, nor see the bloodshed, but I could sense every corpse on the desert's sands. I closed their eyes and wished that Icthlarin would take them. But I was wrong to turn my back on these lands. Incapacitated though I was, my wounds weren't so different from these three monkeys, yet the way we coped was worlds apart.
      • Player: What's the deal with these three? Most of the time they seem as mad as jackals, but other times they act pretty smart.
      • Kikazaru: [He/She]'s cracked up.
      • Mizaru: I blame the heat.
      • Apmeken: Knowledge is a quality, but it is always accompanied by worry and fear. Whereas, bathing in the sun is problem-free. Understand that and you understand them. Together they were able to overcome their difficulties, something I had not been able to. When Amascut took my senses, I turned away from my people, but these three turned the other way.
      • Player: So, what will become of them? What of you?
      • Apmeken: I shall not return their senses. To do so would be an insult to what they have accomplished. As for me, I shall return to my duties as a goddess. Things are much worse here than I could ever have guessed. If needs be, I shall battle Amascut myself. Thank you, [Player], for all you have done.
      • Mizaru: Hey, crazy!
      • Player: Shall we get back to rebuilding this colony?
      • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru nods.)
      • After hours of repairing stalls, couriering chimp ices across the desert, stealing gems, punching monkeys and recovering magic carpets, you manage to rebuild the colony.
      • Kikazaru: It's like nothing changed.
Speaking to the monkeys again
  • Mizaru and Kikazaru are singing.
  • Kikazaru: Born from an egg on a mountain top,
  • Mizaru: The punkiest monkey that ever popped-
  • Player: Hey.
  • Kikazaru: Bouncing 'round the desert in a bowler hat,
  • Mizaru: A singer and a swinger, a wildcat!
    • Player: What will you do now?
      • Mizaru: Expand our empire till it consumes the desert, then rain death and destruction upon your people.
      • Player: Er-
      • Mizaru: A thousand years of darkness awaits these lands.
      • Player: Gah-
      • Mizaru: Ha! Ha! Ha! Nah, we'll probably just catch a tan and slurp chimp ices.
    • Player: I thought you said the king cursed your senses.
      • Mizaru: And you believed us?
      • Kikazaru: Is the human saying something stupid again?
      • Iwazaru: (Iwazaru nods.)
    • Player: Are you going to tell me what that monkey song is about?
      • Mizaru: Maybe, some day.
    • Player: Bye.
      • Mizaru: See ya later, crocodile.
      • Kikazaru: In a while, alligator.

Generous Queen[edit | edit source]

  • Senliten: Greetings, [Player]. Well done, [Player]. Even here, I can feel Apmeken's grace returning to the desert. Tell me, if you can, what happened to her?
  • Player: The Devourer stole her senses and created monsters from them, unleashing them on the desert monkeys.
  • Senliten: Amascut stole her senses? Sometimes I wonder if the Devourer is beyond redemption. I have rarely heard of crueller or more disrespectful acts. How did you manage to restore Apmeken?
  • Player: The colony I set up was massacred by the monsters, but I was able to speak with one of the dead monkeys-
  • Leela: How is that possible?
  • Player: Oh, I have these amulets, and, through some hitherto dormant magical ability, I was able to join them together.
  • Leela: Perhaps the magic of the desert aided its champion? You may be able to add additional amulets in a similar fashion. What happened next?
  • Player: The dead monkey tracked down the monsters, and I was able to destroy them to restore Apmeken's senses.
  • Senliten: You have done well. Thank you for this service; let it not be said that one's Queen is not generous.
  • The Pharaoh Queen bestows great knowledge upon you.

Post-Quest Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Senliten[edit | edit source]

  • Senliten: Greetings, [Player].
    • Player: I have questions about the Scabarites.
    • Player: Can we talk about Apmeken?
      • Senliten: Apmeken is only the beginning. In restoring her, you have done the desert a great service, but there is still more to be done. Amascut's deeds, I fear, are widespread. No doubt her actions have bred more evil.
      • Player: I don't understand.
      • Senliten: The actions of gods are mirrored in the mortal realm. Amascut's actions heralded an era of cruelty, and mortals have adopted her unseemly behaviour towards sentient beings. We must tread carefully, for we do not have just Amascut to contend with. Those who have benefitted from her storm of destruction will try to stop us.
        • Player: I spoke to Apmeken after restoring her. She didn't act as I had expected.
          • Senliten: How so?
          • Player: Jex and the wise monkeys spoke of her as mischievous and cunning, but she seemed almost sombre.
          • Senliten: Interesting. Gods suffer and feel pleasure as you do; their feelings are infinitely refined, but the general sentiments are one and the same. She had a harrowing experience that will leave its mark. In time, we may see a return to form. Let us hope.
        • Talk about something else.
    • Player: Can I be of service?
      • Senliten: For now, no. I have hired the services of a spy in the north. Once he has gathered more information, we will know more of what needs to be done.
    • Player: Can we talk about something else?
    • Player: I have nothing more to say.

Leela[edit | edit source]

  • Leela: I have been talking with Senliten. I fear things are far worse in the desert than we could ever have suspected.
  • [Previous options the same]
    • Talk about the cramulet.
      • Player: You mentioned adding other amulets to my cramulet?
      • Leela: A cramulet? Ah, you are a wit. Well, I assume that, if you can combine two speech amulets together, you can add another. I would give it a go.
    • Talk about monkeys.
      • Leela: Senliten's words still ring in my ear, [Player]. You've achieved much, but this is just the start. I hope I am wrong, but who knows what evil Amascut has spawned?

Jex[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello, Jex.
  • Jex: Hello, [Player]. Jex rubs his head tenderly.
    • Player: Could you tell me more about the minor gods?
        • Player: Could you tell me more about Apmeken?
          • Jex: Something tells me that you might know more than I. I've sensed a change in the heavens, albeit a small one, and I can't help thinking it has something to do with you.
          • Player: What makes you think that?
          • Jex: Not many people come here, and, of those few that do, only a few care to mention Apmeken. I feel her sunny smile shining upon the desert, and I am convinced you are responsible for that. I thank you.
          • [Everything else is the same]

Misc Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Colony Inhabitants[edit | edit source]

  • Monkey colonist: They said we were going to the dessert! Where's my banana split?
  • Monkey colonist: The camels are watching us!
  • Monkey colonist: I never knew there were so many hairless apes in the world.
  • Unarmed monkey guard: I'm watching you, hairless ape.
  • After the quest
    • Monkey colonist: I guess the desert isn't too bad. At least I'm catching some sun.