Dialogue for Cresbot

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Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Activation[edit | edit source]

  • The little robot begins to whirr, as if booting up.
  • Cresbot: System-start: Identifying-owner. Hello-<Player>.

Conversation 1[edit | edit source]

  • Player: What's it like being a robot, Cresbot?
  • Cresbot: Request-for-information-acknowledged. Answer: Cresbot-does-not-have-opinions. Cresbot-does-not-feel-emotions.
  • Player: No emotions? That sounds terrible!
  • Cresbot: Response: Yes. It-makes-Cresbot-very-sad.
  • Player: Uh...

Conversation 2[edit | edit source]

  • Cresbot: WARNING! WARNING!
  • Player: What's going on?
  • Cresbot: Cresbot-security-has-been-compromised! Self-destruct-sequence-initiated! Calculating-possible-escape-time-for-human... Time-for-escape: 0.0000043-seconds. Good-luck.
  • Player: Oh no!
  • Cresbot: Goodbye-world!
  • Player: Noooooooooo! ...Nothing happened.
  • Cresbot: Team-adventure-sequence-ended. Cresbot-got-you-good. HA-HA-HA.

Conversation 3[edit | edit source]

  • Player: So Cresbot, how are you enjoying travelling with me?
  • Cresbot: Request-for-personal-reassurance-acknowledged. Answer: You-are-my-best-friend-INSERT-NAME-HERE.
  • Player: Thank you, I think. I'm enjoying your company too, Cresbot.
  • Cresbot: Compliment-acknowledged. Smug-mode-enabled. Cresbot-certainly-excels-at-his-primary-function-of-companionship. Cresbot-is-the-best-robotic- CRITICAL-ERROR! Self-confidence-matrix-calculation-exception! Cresbot-shutting-down.

Conversation 4[edit | edit source]

  • Player: So, what did Cres program you to do?
  • Cresbot: Request-for-information-acknowledged. Answer: Cresbot-is-multi-functional. Primary-mode: companionship. Secondary-mode: miniature-killing-machine. Additional-functions-are-available.
  • Player: Miniature killing machine mode? I'd like to see that!
  • Cresbot: Mode-change-initiated. CRITICAL-ERROR! Mode-offline. Please-make-alternative-selection.
  • Player: Hmm...what about your additional functions then?
  • Cresbot: Request-for-information-acknowledged. Additional-functions-include: foot-massage, appointment-scheduling, armour-cleaning, long-walks-on-the-beach, stand-up-comedy. Continue?
  • Player: A foot massage sounds lovely.
  • Cresbot: Mode-change-initiated. Massage-pads-warming. CRITICAL-ERROR! Massage-pad-meltdown. Caution: risk-of-death-if-continued.
  • Player: Let's try something else then...what about some comedy?
  • Cresbot: Mode-change-initiated. Humour-core-booting-up. CRITICAL-ERROR! Laughter-meltdown-in-port-3. Please-make-alternative-selection.
  • Player: Never mind.
  • Cresbot: Cresbot-apologises-for-the-inconvenience.

Using items on Cresbot[edit | edit source]

When an item is used on Cresbot, a message appears in the chatbox saying "Cresbot politely declines your offer.", and it says one of the following phrases:

Conversation 1[edit | edit source]

  • Cresbot: Cresbot-does-not-feel-hungry-at-this-time. Or-ever.

Conversation 2[edit | edit source]

  • Cresbot: Scanning-item. Item-contains-contaminant!

Conversation 3[edit | edit source]

  • Cresbot:  ​Error! Error! Error! Item-clog-in-port-5!

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • The line "Compliment-acknowledged. Smug-mode-enabled." is a reference to a line from the character Kryten in the British comedy TV series Red Dwarf.
  • Cresbot's line about lack of emotions making it sad may be a reference to a line from the robot Bender in the show Futurama. Similarly, the dialogue about the "Item-clog in port-5" refers to another Futurama episode where a robot version Lucy Liu shuts down and self-destructs from a "MASSIVE CORN CLOG IN PORT 7". 
  • The line "Item-contains-contaminant." is a reference to the character MO from the movie Wall-E.
  • At the start of conversation 3, cresbot say "You-are-my-best-friend-INSERT-NAME-HERE" this is a reference to GlaDOS in Portal.