Dialogue for Captain (Varrock Palace)

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Captain: What do you want, civilian?

  • What are you doing?
    • Player: What are you doing?
    • Captain: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm training this useless bunch of recruits!
      • Oh yes, they look very fit.
        • Player: Oh yes, they look very fit.
          • If you previously picked the second option
            • Captain: Have you lost your mind? Earlier you said they looked weak! Just go away and leave me alone.
      • Oh yes, they look very weak.
        • Player: Oh yes, they look very weak.
          • If you haven't chosen anything previously
            • Captain: Show some respect when you talk about my men, civilian!
            • (Shows previous options)
          • If you previously picked the first option:
            • Captain: Have you lost your mind? Earlier you said they looked fit! Just go away and leave me alone.
      • Can I have some armour like yours?
        • (Same as below)
  • Can I have some armour like yours?
    • Player: Can I have some armour like yours?
    • Captain: Only guards of Varrock can wear this armour.
    • Player: Well, I could become a guard of Varrock.
    • Captain: So you really want to be a guard, huh?
    • Player: Yes, that's right.
    • Captain: Does it worry you that the life expectancy of a guard is about 30 seconds?
      • No, that doesn't worry me.
        • Player: No, that doesn't worry me.
        • Captain: Bah! You just failed the intelligence test. Go away, civilian.
      • Actually, forget it.
        • Player: Actually, forget it.
        • Captain: Go away, coward.
  • I want nothing.
    • Player: I want nothing.
    • Captain: Lucky you. Go away.
  • Random phrases the Captain shouts:
    • Captain: Bah, why do I bother with you lot?
    • Captain: Make those dummies suffer!
    • Captain: Imagine it's your aunt!
    • Captain: Hit the dummy! Hit the dummy!
    • Captain: Hit the dummy before I come over there and hit you!
    • Captain: Show some backbone!
    • Captain: Let's get some proper bloodlust here!
    • Captain: Just hit the thing already!
    • Captain: Useless! Utterly useless!
    • Captain: You won't last 2 minutes in the real world!