Dialogue for Art Critic Jacques

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Talk to[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello.
  • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh, many greetinks and welcomes to ze Museum!
  • Choose an option:
    • Who are you?
      • Player: Who are you?
      • Art Critic Jacques: Ahhh, mon ami! My name iz Jacques and I am ze Museum's finest art critic!
      • Player: Looks to me like you're the ONLY one.
      • Art Critic Jacques: Zis iz true, mon ami. 'owever, in ze future, I will 'ave my own entire floor of ze Museum with paintings galore!
      • Player: Uhh... Has that been approved or are you just dreaming?
      • Art Critic Jacques: Ah, I see monsieur iz 'aving ze little bon mot, eh?
      • Player: Err...bone what?
      • Art Critic Jacques: Ze bon mot, ze laugh, ze fun of poking at me, eh? I shall 'ave my gallery, you vill see eventually, mon ami. Zen I shall be ze, 'ow you say, laughing last!
      • (Shows initial options)
    • What do you do here?
      • Player: What do you do here?
      • Art Critic Jacques: I critique ze art! See the bautifool colours and ze masterful use of ze brush to capture perfectly ze royal presence...
      • Select an option
        • Umm...it's a painting.
          • Player: Umm...it's just a painting.
          • Art Critic Jacques: JUST a painting? 'ow could you say such a t'ing? When you learn 'ow to appreciate ze wonderful works of art, you may talk to me.
          • (Shows initial options)
        • Yes, I see!
          • Player: Yes, I see!
          • Player: And look at the use of shade and contrast - isn't it just magnificent?
          • Art Critic Jacques: Oui...so eet eez. So perfect it almost makes me weep wiz joy! The grandiloquent strokes of ze brush convey a kind of mystic quality...eet iz almost as if 'e were 'ere with us.
          • Art Critic Jacques: My father, 'e too waz ze critic of art...'e also saw ze poetry in ze painintg. Zis reminds me of a verse 'e would read me - would you like to 'ear it?
          • Select an option
            • Yes please.
              • Player: Yes please.
              • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh, good. Zis verse is from a poem by a most talented writer of ze poetry, Charles Baudelaire. My father would place me on 'is knee and read to me like zis...
              • (Jacques recites the French poem.)
              • Select an option
                • That was nice, what did it mean?
                  • Player: That was nice, what did it mean?
                  • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh, yes, I forget, open ze ears and I shall tell monsieur.
                  • (Jacques recites the English poem.)
                  • Select an option
                    • Wow!
                      • Player: Wow.
                      • Player: That's powerful stuff...and yes, I see what you mean about the painting inspiring you to remember that poem...
                      • Art Critic Jacques: I am glad you enjoyed. Please, take ze time to appreciate ze Museum and ze wealth of information 'ere. Come visit me when I 'ave my own gallery!
                      • (Shows initial options)
                    • I still didn't like it.
                      • Player: I still didn't like it.
                      • Art Critic Jacques: Eet iz such a shame, but you must 'ave your own opinion, no? Feel free to look around ze Museum some more.
                      • (Shows initial options)
                • Beautiful.
                  • Player: Beautiful.
                  • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh yes, it eez. Feel free to look around ze Musem some more.
                  • (Shows initial options)
                • I didn't like it, but I still like the painting.
                  • Player: I didn't like it, but I still like the painting.
                  • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh well, eet iz not for everyone but I am glad you like ze painting.
                  • (Shows initial options)
            • No thanks.
              • Player: No thanks.
              • Art Critic Jacques: Ahh, well, eet iz not for everyone.
              • (Shows initial options)
    • What are you collecting?
      • Art Critic Jacques: You want ze lowdown or zee speaking of ze words, ah?
      • What would you like to do?
        • View collections.
          • (You Don't Know Jacques interface opens.)
        • Talk about collections.
          • Art Critic Jacques: Well, I am only really interested in any painting you restore, mon ami! It iz for my gallery project!
          • Art Critic Jacques: I would love to also take statues and sculptures you come across, but even though ze museum 'as increased funds, they still limit my department.
          • Art Critic Jacques: Art 'as always been my passion, so let us start with ze art!
          • Player: Gotcha, any paintings I find, I'll consider bringing in for you.
          • (Shows initial options)
    • What are your collection rewards?
      • Art Critic Jacques: 'Ave you 'eard ze saying 'Those zat can, zey do, and zoe that can't, zey critique'?
      • Player: Not sure that I have.
      • Art Critic Jacques: Well, it iz not ze truth! I critique AND I paint. And I am amazing, even if I do say so myself...and I do!
      • Player: Okay...
      • Art Critic Jacques: Well, I will make you a deal. Any paintings zat you bring to me, ahh, I will paint you a replica! You may 'ang it somewhere. I hear you 'ave access to Guildmaster Tony's old office, no? Zat would be ideal!
      • Art Critic Jacques: And if you find all ze art I am after... Well, let use just say I am working on a Jacques original! It iz a modern piece about all zis mad rush of archaeology. I call it 'Ze God Wars'.
      • Art Critic Jacques: Not an original title, I know, but still it could be yours.
      • (Shows initial options)

French poem[edit | edit source]

Je trône dans l'azuz comme un sphinx incompris;
J'unis un coeur de neige à la blancheur des cygnes;
Je hais le mouvement qui déplace les lignes,
Et jamais je ne pleure et jamais je ne ris.

English poem[edit | edit source]

Swan-white of heart, a sphinx no mortal knows,
My throne is in the heaven's azure deep,
I hate all movements that disturb my pose,
I smile not ever, neither do I weep.