Dialogue for Alice the Camel

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Standard dialogue[edit | edit source]

If spoken to without wearing a camulet[edit | edit source]

  • What would you like to do?
    • Ask the camel about its dung.
      • Player: I'm sorry to bother you, but could you spare me a little dung?
      • The camel didn't seem to appreciate that question.
    • Say something unpleasant.
      • Player may say any one of the following at random:
        • Dialogue 1:
          • Player: Mmm... Looks like that camel would make a nice kebab.
          • (Continues below)
        • Dialogue 2:
          • Player: I wonder if that camel has fleas...
          • (Continues below)
        • Dialogue 3:
          • Player: If I go near that camel, it'll probably bite my hand off.
          • (Continues below)
            • Ugthanki may do any of the following at random:
              • Response 1:
                • The camel turns its head and glares at you.
              • Response 2:
                • The camel tries to stamp on your foot, but you pull it back quickly.
              • Response 3:
                • The camel spits at you, and you jump back hurriedly.
    • Neither - I'm a polite person.
      • You decide not to be rude.

If spoken to while wearing a camulet[edit | edit source]

  • What would you like to do?
    • Ask the camel about its dung.
      • Player: I'm sorry to bother you, but could you spare me a little dung?
      • Alice the Camel: Are you serious?
      • Player: Oh yes. If you'd be so kind...
        • If you have not recently asked Alice the Camel for her dung:
          • Alice the Camel: Well, just you close your eyes first. I'm not doing it while you're watching me!
          • Screen fades to black, with the text You close your eyes..., before fading back in
          • Alice the Camel: I hope that's what you wanted!
          • Player: Ohhh yes. Lovely.
        • If you have recently asked Alice the Camel for her dung:
          • The camel ponders for a moment...
          • Alice the Camel: I'm sorry, but I can't really help you right now. Perhaps you should ask me again later, or try a different camel.
          • Player: Fair enough.
    • Say something unpleasant.
      • Player may say any one of the following at random:
        • Dialogue 1:
          • Player: Mmm... Looks like that camel would make a nice kebab.
          • (Continues below)
        • Dialogue 2:
          • Player: I wonder if that camel has fleas...
          • (Continues below)
        • Dialogue 3:
          • Player: If I go near that camel, it'll probably bite my hand off.
          • (Continues below)
  • After being insulted by the player:
    • Alice the Camel: What did you say?
    • Player: Nothing, nothing.
    • Alice the Camel: Well, don't interrupt me, I've got work to do.
    • Player: Really? What sort of work?
    • Alice the Camel: I'm participating in the construction of a shopping and sales extravanganza.
    • Player: What?
    • Alice the Camel: My masters have me hauling boxes around. There's not much to do at the moment, though.
    • Player: Who are your masters, then?
    • Alice the Camel: They're traders from Pillnivneach. Their boss is called Ali Morrisane.
    • Player: So, what's it like working for your masters?
    • Alice the Camel: It's hard work sometimes, but it could be worse. I've heard about a pair of camels back in Pollniveach who were poisoned! They say someone put spicy sauce in their food.
    • Player: Really? That's very cruel of whoever did it.
  • Alice the Camel: I sincerely hope whoever did it was punished. Do they have no compassion for camels?