Dialogue for Alice the Camel

This page contains dialogue related to Alice the Camel. The content below is copied verbatim from RuneScape and thus copyrighted by Jagex.

Standard dialogue

If spoken to without wearing a camulet

• What would you like to do?
  • Ask the camel about its dung.
    • Player: I'm sorry to bother you, but could you spare me a little dung?
    • The camel didn't seem to appreciate that question.
  • Say something unpleasant.
    • Player may say any one of the following at random:
      • Dialogue 1:
        • Player: Mmm... Looks like that camel would make a nice kebab.
        • (Continues below)
      • Dialogue 2:
        • Player: I wonder if that camel has fleas...
        • (Continues below)
      • Dialogue 3:
        • Player: If I go near that camel, it'll probably bite my hand off.
        • (Continues below)
          • Ugthanki may do any of the following at random:
            • Response 1:
              • The camel turns its head and glares at you.
            • Response 2:
              • The camel tries to stamp on your foot, but you pull it back quickly.
            • Response 3:
              • The camel spits at you, and you jump back hurriedly.
  • Neither - I'm a polite person.
    • You decide not to be rude.

If spoken to while wearing a camulet

• What would you like to do?
  • Ask the camel about its dung.
    • Player: I'm sorry to bother you, but could you spare me a little dung?
    • Alice the Camel: Are you serious?
    • Player: Oh yes. If you'd be so kind...
      • If you have not recently asked Alice the Camel for her dung:
        • Alice the Camel: Well, just you close your eyes first. I'm not doing it while you're watching me!
        • Screen fades to black, with the text You close your eyes..., before fading back in
        • Alice the Camel: I hope that's what you wanted!
        • Player: Ohhh yes. Lovely.
      • If you have recently asked Alice the Camel for her dung:
        • The camel ponders for a moment...
        • Alice the Camel: I'm sorry, but I can't really help you right now. Perhaps you should ask me again later, or try a different camel.
        • Player: Fair enough.
  • Say something unpleasant.
    • Player may say any one of the following at random:
      • Dialogue 1:
        • Player: Mmm... Looks like that camel would make a nice kebab.
        • (Continues below)
      • Dialogue 2:
        • Player: I wonder if that camel has fleas...
        • (Continues below)
      • Dialogue 3:
        • Player: If I go near that camel, it'll probably bite my hand off.
        • (Continues below)

• After being insulted by the player:
  • Alice the Camel: What did you say?
  • Player: Nothing, nothing.
  • Alice the Camel: Well, don't interrupt me, I've got work to do.
  • Player: Really? What sort of work?
  • Alice the Camel: I'm participating in the construction of a shopping and sales extravanganza.
  • Player: What?
  • Alice the Camel: My masters have me hauling boxes around. There's not much to do at the moment, though.
  • Player: Who are your masters, then?
  • Alice the Camel: They're traders from Pillnivneach. Their boss is called Ali Morrisane.
  • Player: So, what's it like working for your masters?
  • Alice the Camel: It's hard work sometimes, but it could be worse. I've heard about a pair of camels back in Pollniveach who were poisoned! They say someone put spicy sauce in their food.
  • Player: Really? That's very cruel of whoever did it.
• Alice the Camel: I sincerely hope whoever did it was punished. Do they have no compassion for camels?