Transcript of A Guild of Our Own

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Reason: some dialogue options missing
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Starting the Caper[edit | edit source]

  • Darren Lightfinger: Ah, player! Can I borrow you for a moment? I've got some work in dire need of a hero and you're the best agent I have to take it on! This is it, player! This is the big one!
  • Player: What's afoot? Oh, no, now you've got me doing it.
  • Darren Lightfinger: Our chance to gain the recognition we deserve and place the Thieves' Guild alongside the other fine institutions of Gielinor, no less!
  • Player: Do tell.
  • Darren Lightfinger: I have just found out that the Guild Registry has opened again. Since the old office closed down, there have simply been no chance to register new guilds, but now we have the chance and the ability to become official!
  • Player: What exactly do we gain from that?
  • Darren Lightfinger: Legitimacy, my dear [boy/girl]; the chance to stand tall and proud in the light of day!
  • Player: While we slink quietly though the shadows?
  • Darren Lightfinger: Got it in one! There's just one problem.
  • Player: Does it involve money and dirty deeds, by any chance?
  • Darren Lightfinger: Funny you should say that. Their fees are exorbitant, I'm afraid, and we've spent all our capital on building. The solution is elegant, though: we need someone highly skilled to break into their vault, steal their funds, and then pay our registration fees with their own money.
  • Player: Will you be the one doing this, then?
  • Darren Lightfinger: Ha, ha, ha … no. I was hoping you'd be up for doing it.
  • Player: How surprising.
  • Select An Option
    • I'm in.
      • Player: I'm in.
      • Darren Lightfinger: Good show!
      • Player: Can you explain the plan to me, please?
      • Darren Lightfinger: Of a certainty! It is devious in its simplicity. First you will need the right equipment: a blackjack and a lockpick. You will need to disguise yourself before you enter, so that you cannot be identified when you return undisguised. Once disguised, you must get into the vault of the Guild Registry, gain access to the coffers, steal the contents, and make your escape. Then simply return with the money and without the disguise to pay our dues.
      • Player: Where can I get the disguise I need?
      • Darren Lightfinger: Robin knows a little trick with a potion. Talk to him about getting it set up for you.
    • Let me get back to you.
      • Player: Let me get back to you.
      • Darren Lightfinger: We'll be here.


If you ended the earlier dialogue:

  • Player: I'm back.
  • Darren Lightfinger: Ah, player,. Ready to break into the Guild Registry for us and pay our registration fees with their own funds?
  • Select An Option
    • I'm in.
    • (Same as above)
    • Let me get back to you.
      • (Same as above)


If you're returning before completing the caper:

  • Darren Lightfinger: This is our time, my friend! What is the status of your mission to secure us the, er, status we so richly deserve?
  • Player: I'd like to talk to you about the caper I'm doing for you.
  • Select An Option
    • Can you explain the plan to me?
      • (Same as above)
    • Do you have any advice?
      • Darren Lightfinger: It should be straightforward enough for someone of your ability. Wear your disguise, get into the vault, clean it out, pay them with their own money.
      • Player: I was hoping for some more practical advice than that.
      • Darren Lightfinger: Oh, Robin's your man if you want practical.
    • Where can I get the disguise I need?
      • (Same as above)

Meeting Robin[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello there.
  • Chief Thief Robin: Ah, our rising star. Now what can I do for you?
  • Select An Option
    • That's an appropriate name.
      • (dialogue missing)
    • How long have you known the Guildmaster?
      • (dialogue missing)
    • About this caper...
      • Player: The Guildmaster says you have a way I can rob the Guild Registry and return without being recognised.
      • Chief Thief Robin: I do, yes, but it'll take some skill with herbs to pull off.
      • Player: I've dabbled a little. What's the plan?
      • Chief Thief Robin: We're going to make their eyes water so hard that they can't see you properly for the tears. You'll need a vial of water, an irit herb and a bowl of chopped onion to make a little portable vial of stench.
      • Player: That sounds useful. Then when I go back with the goods I leave the vial behind, and they won't be able to identify me as the thief?
      • Chief Thief Robin: Exactly. I'll need to pull off a little magic trick I know to give the vial its affinity first. Otherwise you'll tear up whenever you open it too, and that won't be any good.
      • Player: I'll be back with the vial then.
    • Bye for now.
      • (dialogue missing)


Mixing the potion:

  • You open the vial, pour in the chopped onion, and hastily cap it again.


  • Player: Hello there. Here you go, Robin; can you set this up for me?
  • Robin takes the vial and mumbles over it briefly.
  • Chief Thief Robin: There: you should find it entirely harmless now... unless you're a member of the Guild Registry.
  • Player: How'd you come to learn a spell like that?
  • Chief Thief Robin: I have a shady past. Now, what can I do for you?
  • Select An Option
    • That's an appropriate name.
      • (dialogue missing)
    • How long have you known the Guildmaster?
      • (dialogue missing)
    • About this caper...
      • Player: Do you have any more advice for me, Robin?
      • Chief Thief Robin: Not as such, no. I've not been in the Guild Registry. I'm sure they'll have the vault entrance locked and guarded, with some sort of secondary door with as good a lock as they can find, and the coffer trapped. Be prepared, and all that; see what you can use to get attention away from yourself.
      • Player: Thanks.
    • Bye for now.
      • (dialogue missing)

At the Registry[edit | edit source]

If you do not have the vial of stench:

  • Player: I don't want to do this without some way to prevent them from recognising me.


If you have the vial:

The registrar blinks at you through streaming eyes.
  • Registrar: What can I do for you?
  • Select an Option
    • I'm here from the Gielinor Security Agency.
      • Player: I'm here from the Gielinor Security Agency. I need to ask you some questions about your setup.
      • Registrar: Our setup is highly secure. Even if a thief did get past mself and the guard, which they can't, they'd have no chance of picking the highly complex lock on the door or disarming the cunning trap on the coffer.
      • Player: What do you mean, get past you?
      • Registrar: The trapdoor to the vault is controlled by a locked lever. I'm guarding the lever and my colleague holds the key.
      • Player: You have made provision[sic] for mages, I trust?
      • Registrar: Yes, our vault is fitted with standard teleport suppression glyphs.
      • Select An Option
        • That all seems to be in order, thank you.
          • Player: That all seems to be in order, thank you.
        • And there are no other exits?
          • Registrar: The only other egress is a small vent in the wall, but it's not a risk.
          • Player: Oh?
          • Registrar: Only an adventurer would have the agility to squeeze through there, and none of them would do something so underhanded as to rob an official government agency.
          • Player: That all seems to be in order, thank you.
    • What's that clicking sound?
      • Player: What's that clicking sound?
      • Registrar: The latest in modern convenience! It's a clock similar to the one in the tower to the south-west, but far smaller.
      • Player: How does it work?
      • Registrar: Oh, I'm no tinker. I just know I wind it with its key and set its time by the tower clock if it's wrong.
      • Player: Hmm.
    • I need to get into your vault.
      • Player: I Need to get into your vault.
      • Registrar: I don't think you do, sorry.
    • Nothing, thanks. I hope your eyes get better.
      • Player: Nothing, thanks. I hope your eyes get better.


If talking to the guard:

  • Player: Let's see if this thing works, then.
  • Guard: Welcome to the Guild Registry, sir and/or madam.
  • Player: Everything in order here, friend?
  • Guard: What's that terrible stench?
  • Player: Erm... I don't know, but I smell it too!
  • Guard: It's vile!
  • Player: You got that right...

Putting the Caper into Motion[edit | edit source]

Pickpocketing the Registrar[edit | edit source]

If you fail:

  • Registrar: Get away from there!


If you succeed:

  • You steal a very small key from the registrar's pocket.

Fixing the Clock[edit | edit source]

  • You wind the clock's mainspring as tight as it will go.
  • Player: A few seconds to... fifty o'clock – that should do it.
  • Registrar: Oh that cursed clock is on the blink again!
  • Player: How's it going in there, guard?
  • Guard: Everything alright, Yelena?
  • Registrar: Where's my key got to?
  • You knock the guard out.
  • Guard: Gnk.
  • Registrar: It must have fallen out of my pocket somewhere...
  • You take a small key from the guard's pocket; an engraving on it reads 'Vault key'.
  • Registrar: Stupid clock! Dwarf-made excellence, my bustle
  • Registrar: Why won't you WORK!
  • Registrar: Aaargh!
  • You unlock the lever and pull it down.
  • There is a clank as the vault door opens.
  • Registrar: Ah, much better.
  • Registrar: I must have that shelf dusted.
  • Guard: Ungh. What hit me?


If you are caught:

  • Registrar: Oi! Was that you fiddling with my clock?
  • Player: No, it was, erm, Quasibonko the Hideous Hunchback! He went that way.
  • Registrar: Don't give me that. Hand over my key and get out.


If you are caught when luring:

  • Registrar: What going on here?
  • Player: I'm sure I've no idea.
  • Registrar: Well, I'm going to have to ask you to leave while I sort this out.

In the vault[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Done it. Now to...
  • You hear voices from the floor above.
  • Registrar: Bernard! What happened?
  • Guard: Sum'n's down ina vault... hit'm on the head...
  • Registrar: Right, I'll fix them.
  • There is a clank of machinery.
  • Registrar: Let them stew down there for a while...
  • Player: Uh oh.
  • The guard is discovered and you are locked in the vault.


Picking the lock:

  • The lock falls to your nimble fingers.


If you check the strongbox:

  • Player: Oh, that's a nasty one.
  • You find an unpleasant trap on the coffer.
  • A small trigger on the chest's lid is stamped 'RFED Traps, Ltd'.
  • Player: Ha!
  • ...and disarm it
  • You take the bonds from the Guild Registry's coffers.
  • Player: Nice. Now to get out of here...


If you try to open the strongbox before checking:

  • Player: Argh! Best nor to do that again...


Inspecting the Crates:

  • You can get out this way.
    • Leave the vault.
      • Player: Time I was elsewhere, I think.
      • The player leaves.
    • Not yet...

Returning to the Scene of the Crime[edit | edit source]

If you have the Vial on you:

  • Player: I'll have to bank this vial of stench or they'll be no help to me in there.


Without the vial:

  • Player: Well, here's the moment of truth for Robin's potion...
  • Player: Hello there. I'm from the Thieves' Guild in Lumbridge; I'm here to pay our dues.
  • Registrar: Not so fast! We've got one of your members trapped in the vault.
  • Player: Really? What do they look like?
  • Registrar: We can't tell. [He/she] has some sort of device that makes our eyes water if we get close. All we know is it's a [man/woman] of about your height.
  • Player: That's a bit vague. You could just as well be describing me! It might be a freelancer, I suppose.
  • Registrar: I suppose that's possible, yes.
  • Player: Anyway, I have the fees here, already made out to the Guild Registry.
  • Registrar: Thank you very much.
  • The registrar writes an entry in her records.
  • Registrar: Now, if you don't mind, we've a thief to chastise.
  • Player: Then I think I'll be on my way. Thanks again!


If you talk to the guard:

  • Guard: Welcome to the Guild Registry, [sir/madam].
  • The guard sniffs dolefully.
  • Player: Are your eyes alright? You look awful.
  • Guard: Some joker with a stinkbomb tried to rob us. We've got them trapped in the vault, though. We'll let them stew for a while and then see justice done.
  • Player: I wish I could be around to see that.


If you try to wind the clock again:

  • You don't need to distract the Registrar now you have the money.


If you try to go back into the Registry':'

  • Player: I don't know that I want to tempt fate by going in there.

A Guild of Our Own[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello there.
  • Chief Thief Robin: Ah, our rising star. Now what can I do for you?
    • That's an appropriate name.
      • (dialogue missing)
    • How long have you known the Guildmaster?
      • (dialogue missing)
    • About this caper...
      • Player: I pulled off the scam, Robin!
      • Chief Thief Robin: Good work. Darren will be pleased.
    • Bye for now.
      • (dialogue missing)


  • Darren Lightfinger: This is our time, my friend! What is the status of your mission to secure us the, er, status we so richly deserve?
  • Select An Option
    • Can we try out that testing dummy again?
      • (dialogue missing)
    • How's the guild coming along these days?
      • (dialogue missing)
    • I'd like to talk about the caper I'm doing for you.
      • Player: I'd like to talk about the caper I'm doing for you. It's done, Guildmaster.
      • Darren Lightfinger: My dear fellow! Finally we have a guild of our own! The Lumbridge Thieves' Guild can finally hold its own next to the crafters, rangers, fishers and all the other mighty names in the kingdoms, and it's thanks entirely to our efforts.
      • Player: Our?
      • Darren Lightfinger: Yes! With my direction, Robin's experience and your nimble fingers, we have carved this little root cellar into a glorious bastion of banditry the likes of which the world has never seen... And now we can plan our next noble strike against the injust, and those bloated on their own monies...
      • Player: I'll just be going, I think.
      • You leave him to his speech while he's still building up steam.
    • Sorry, I was just leaving.
      • (dialogue missing)


Post Caper[edit | edit source]

Without Vial of Stench:

  • Player: Hello there.
  • Chief Thief Robin: Do you still have that vial of stench, player?
  • Player: In my bank – why?
  • Chief Thief Robin: Bring it here and I'll show you a nifty trick. Now what can I do for you?


With the Vial of Stench:

  • Player: Hello there.
  • Chief Thief Robin: Can I see that vial of yours, player?
  • Robin mumbles over the vial some more.
  • Chief Thief Robin: I thought you might find it useful when you're fencing shoplifted goods if the merchants you steal from don't know who just ripped them off.
  • He winks slyly.
  • Player: I really want to know where you learned that trick.
  • Chief Thief Robin: Oh, I've always been able to wink. Now what can I do for you?


  • Darren Lightfinger: Ah, player, there you are. How is the shadowy world of crime going up there?
  • Player: Very shady, thank you.
  • Select An Option
    • Can we try out that testing dummy again?
      • Player: Can we try out that testing dummy again?
      • Darren Lightfinger: Of course! Right, I want you to pick the pocket of that dummy as sneakily and as delicately as you possibly can.
      • The player yawns.
      • Darren Lightfinger: Well, go on, pick its pocket.
      • Player: Here's the handkerchief.
      • Darren Lightfinger: Amazing! I didn't even notice your hands move! I've never seen such a virtuoso display and, in fact, I didn't see that one either. I don't suppose you could give ME some pointers?
      • Select An Option
        • Well, alright.
          • Player: Well, alright. Just watch as I do it and see if you can pick up from my technique.
          • Darren Lightfinger: Now, you see, that's the thing you don't want to be doing if you want to avoid notice.
          • Player: Remember: loose fingers, tight wrists! Calm but quick it, that's the ticket. It's the eye of the kyatt, it's the will of the heist... Handkerchief on, handkerchief off. Well, no, just handkerchief off, actually. Oom-pah-pah! Oom... Wait, no, that's the second act. Once more with feeling! And relax. Got that?
          • Darren Lightfinger: Those were inspired words, my friend! I couldn't have explained it nearly so well myself!
          • Player: Feel free to pass on my words to others who follow.
          • Darren Lightfinger: I see the light! Thank you, my friend!
        • Tell me about the guild.
          • (Dialogue missing)
    • How's the guild coming along these days?
      • Player: How's the guild coming coming along these days?
      • Darren Lightfinger: Our vault is built, we've got a man on the inside of the banking network and the living quarters are finished. Thanks to you, we've got a guild to be proud of! Anything else I can do for you?
    • So what's new around here?
      • Player: So what's new around here?
      • Darren Lightfinger: Look at this glorious guildhall I have caused to be! Our own bank, our own banker... Have you met Pinsworth?
      • Player: What's a Pinsworth?
      • Darren Lightfinger: Oh, he's big into bank security, but the Bank of Lumbridge fired him, so he's our man now.
    • Sorry I was just leaving.
      • (Dialogue missing)