Transcript of A Fairy Tale III - Battle at Ork's Rift

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This section or article is incomplete and could do with improvement.
Reason: Initial dialogue and both minigames
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Starting the quest[edit | edit source]

[Incomplete transcript: talking with Fairy Very Wise before this]

  • Player: Ah! Hello, Your Majesty. Fairy Very Wise said you need my help?
  • Fairy Queen: Glad you're here, [Player], and yes, we have much to discuss! We want to take the fight to the Fairy Godfather; his strength is growing and we have to stop him now! Can we count on you?
  • Player: What's involved?
    • Fairy Queen: We've been doing a great deal of reconnaissance and have formulated a plan. Unfortunately, it's on a strictly need to know basis. You'll have to agree to help before I can tell you anymore. But I can say this: we're going to take the fight to the Godfather.
    • Player: Sounds good to me.
    • Fairy Queen: Does that mean you'll help? [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Yes, I'll help.
    • Fairy Queen: Wonderful! I'd like to introduce you to my commander, the strategist behind our bold attack plan: the Tooth Fairy.
    • Tooth Fairy: Right, I'll get straight to the point. We need you, soldier, and boy do we have a tactical situation on our hands!
    • Player: Yes, I'm fine, thanks for asking. Nice to meet you too!
    • Tooth Fairy: Pleasantries aside, a lot has happened since you last volunteered for duty and there isn't much time to explain. The Fairy Godfather has created a rift between this plane and another seemingly filled with orks, significantly increasing his combat effectiveness. Before I go into detail, I need to tell you about our secret weapon: FTM!
    • Player: What's FTM?
    • Tooth Fairy: It's a closely guarded secret, but you need to know, and as you've helped us before we can skip the, uh, obscurity clearance. It stands for fairy tooth magic.
    • Player: Fairy tooth magic? Sounds interesting...
    • Tooth Fairy: Teeth are an essential part of fairy society. Thankfully, they're easy to come by. Tooth magic has powerful possibilities, so we hope it will help us turn the tide against the Fairy Godfather and his minions. I've prepared a mission briefing. Turn on the projector when you're ready to watch it. [ends dialogue]
  • Player: Sorry, I haven't the time right now.
    • Fairy Queen: I understand, but please, when you do have time, we really need your support. [ends dialogue]

Watch the projector [cutscene]:

  • Tooth Fairy: [shows a fairy fleeing from a bear] Fairies are prepaired to go to extreme lengths to secure the most interesting teeth for weaving tooth magic. [shows a fairy with a tooth embeded in her leg] No matter the sacrifice, we continue to study tooth magic. [the fairy doctor uses magic to teleport the tooth into a jar] It wasn't easy, but our experts kept trying. Finally, we made a breakthrough! [shows a fairy casting a spell on a farming patch] By magically enchanting a farming patch, we could grow creatures that are identical to the tooth's original host. [shows a tooth goat emerge and attack the fairy] Well, somewhat similar to the host; we're still working out the finer details. In any case, tooth magic is very challenging. This one we called Gnarly; he's partial to compliments.
  • Player: Hmm, interesting.
  • Tooth Fairy: So, do you have any questions?

[see below]

Talk to the Tooth Fairy again after watching the projector:

  • Player: What do you need me to do now?
  • Tooth Fairy: Well, you've reviewed the intelligence briefing on fairy tooth magic. Any questions?

[see below]

Questions to ask:

  • Player: What is fairy tooth magic?
    • Tooth Fairy: Fairy tooth magic is still in the research and development phase, but, essentially, we've found a way to create 'tooth' versions of whatever creature a tooth came from. It combines two disciplines with which fairies are intrinsically linked - farming and magic. [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Did that fairy in the briefing survive?
    • Tooth Fairy: Oh, it takes a lot more than a terror dog to give fairies any trouble. It was just a flesh wound; I've made a full recovery, thanks, I am back on active duty and fully combat ready. [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: How does this relate to the overall strategy?
    • Tooth Fairy: Good question, soldier! I can see basic training hasn't beaten the brain out of your head yet. This will make more sense later, but we hope to utilise this branch of magic to our strategic advantage against the Fairy Godfather in our final assault. [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Can I see the tooth magic briefing again, please?
    • Tooth Fairy: Solid copy, [Player]. Turn on the projector when you're ready to review the briefing. [ends dialogue]
  • Player: Right, I understand about fairy tooth magic now. [continue to next section]

Discussing the plan:

  • Player: What do you need me to do now?
  • Tooth Fairy: That's what I like to see: champing at the bit for some affirmitive[sic] action against the foe eh? It'll be harder than you think, though.
  • Player: Oh, good, I was worried it might be too easy!
  • Tooth Fairy: The Fairy Godfather has mobilised three ork generals - Gromblod, Bre'egth and Shredflesh - to support his offensive efforts. He's also found an area in Zanaris where there is a weakness in the fabric between this plane and another that is full of orks, and he's created a rift between the two. He's given Gromblod operational control on recruiting additional ork grunts through the rift.
  • Player: Hmm, this is a lot of information!
  • Tooth Fairy: I know, [Player]. As such, I've prepared another briefing that should make it easier to understand. You must be up to speed with the full, uh...
  • Player: Operation? Design? Plan?
  • Tooth Fairy: Yes, the full operation design plan; that's what I was going to say. You must be up to speed with the full operation design plan if you're to assist our combined... er, joint spec-ops mission, else it'll end up a complete umm... boondoggle.
  • Player: Err, right.
  • Tooth Fairy: Are you ready for the briefing?
  • Player: Yes, I'm ready.
    • Tooth Fairy: Jolly good. That puts our tooth-to-tail ratio at 1:1! Go and turn on the projector when you're prepped. [ends dialogue]
  • Player: Err, not quite.
    • Tooth Fairy: Aren't we the undecided type? Very well, planning makes perfect. No doubt I can find a way to further improve my operation design plan while you make your mind up about assisting us in our offensive tactical strike. [ends dialogue. Talk to Tooth Fairy again to restart this dialogue section]

Briefing #2

  • Tooth Fairy: The Fairy Godfather has given Gromblod operational control on recruiting additional ork grunts through the rift. His ork army is swelling! That army embarked on a campaign of shock and ork, causing terrible fear and destruction throughout Zanaris. Many fairies were injured, so a special secret headquarters was set up within Zanaris. The Fairy Godfather has created a protective shield around himself bound to the rift and the orks under his command. And that concludes this briefing.
  • Player: Okay, that all makes sense. What's to happen now?
  • Tooth Fairy: Excellent, soldier. I like your proactive attitude! In accordance with regulations, I am required to make sure that you have the savvy to execute the joint operational design with maximum effectiveness.
  • Player: And how will you do that?
  • Tooth Fairy: I have a top secret, priority one, immediate delayed mission request. This special op will test your skills and make sure you're up to speed to take on the Fair Godfather! It's also vital to our operation design, so you must not fail.
  • Player: Sounds, er... What's the mission?
  • Tooth Fairy: It's a search and rescue op. I have some... special ordnance crucial to the operational design, which is currently under heavy guard in enemy territory. You'll be in our DIET in this op.
  • Player: What? I thought I was supplying help, no food...
  • Tooth Fairy: DIET - Deep Infiltration and Extraction Team.
  • Player: Oh... right... What's the 'special ordnance'?
  • Tooth Fairy: The #ZFW1 combat apparatus.
  • Player: Sounds, er, technical... but what is it? What am I actually looking for?
  • The Tooth Fairy sketches a picture.
  • Player: It's a stick!
  • Tooth Fairy: It's my wand, actually. [continue to next section skipping the first bullet]

Questions about recovering her wand:

  • Tooth Fairy: [only if you talk to her again] As we discussed earlier, your mission is to retrieve my wand - a special issue #ZFW1 combat apparatus - from under the very noses of the enemy.
  • Tooth Fairy: This is a delicate mission!
  • [The choice is "Where is your wand?"] Player: Where is your stic- er, wand?
    • Tooth Fairy: The #ZFW1 combat apparatus is located in my off-barracks residence - my grotto in Zanaris. The target is located .01 klicks west-north-west of Zanaris's main bank. Your ETA for destination grotto would be about five minutes at optimal speed.
    • Player: How will I know it's your place?
    • Tooth Fairy: It's guarded. Gnarly will be inside protecting the place, so be careful and don't upset him... er, it. And don't make a mess.
    • Player: Not to sound stuck up or anything, but this feels a bit like playing fetch. [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: What's involved in collecting this wand?
    • Tooth Fairy: Cunning! Speed! And military precision! This is no walk in the park. You'll need to appropriate some secateurs and convert them into a BITE. This should allow you to gain covert access to my civilian lodgings.
    • Player: Sounds like breaking and entering to me. What's a BITE?
    • Tooth Fairy: A basic improvised tooth extractor, of course! After gaining access to my civilian lodgings, you will secure the wand and return it to me. Be careful of Gnarly - he's a little sensitive. [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Yes, I'll go and collect your wand.
    • Tooth Fairy: Good! You'll need to make a BITE to effect entry.
    • Player: What's a BITE?
    • Tooth Fairy: A basic improvised tooth extractor, of course! Using a hammer on some secateurs should do it. You can find some secateurs in the supply depot, west-north-west of here.
    • Player: Right, I guess I'll go get some, then.
    • [Incomplete transcript]
  • Player: Sorry, I've got other things to do right now.
    • Tooth Fairy: Hmm... very well, I think we can afford to let you have some leave. When you're ready to proceed with your mission, report back here for duty. [ends dialogue. Talk to Tooth Fairy again to restart this dialogue section]

If you talk to the Tooth Fairy again:

  • Player: What should I be donig?
  • Tooth Fairy: You're on a spec ops mission to retrieve some special, highly technical ordnance from my civilian lodgings, from under the very noses of our enemies.
  • Tooth Fairy: [if you have a Tooth Extractor] I see you've already made a BITE!
  • Tooth Fairy: [if you don't have a Tooth Extractor] You need to make a BITE by using a hammer on some secateurs.
  • Tooth Fairy: This will enable covert access to the target property.
  • Player: Right, so I've got to fetch your wand from your house, using a tooth extractors I've made to gain entry to your house?

In the Tooth Fairy's house:

If you search the house without talking to Gnarly:

  • Gnarly: <chomp> What yoo doin'? Gnarly bite! Gnarly good guard tooth. <grunch>
  • Gnarly: <gnash> Woot yoo want? <grunch>
  • Player: The Tooth Fairy sent me to collect her wand; I need to take it back to her.
  • Gnarly: <gnash> Nope. Can't. Not yours[sic]. <grunch>
  • Player: But the Tooth Fairy wants it - she needs it!
    • Gnarly: <gnash> Get rotted! Gnarly is good one. <grunch> [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Won't you tell me where it is and then I'll go get it?
    • Gnarly: <chew> Nope. Not yours[sic]. Yoo go 'way. But Gnarly nice and not bite. <grunch> [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Is the wand here?
    • Gnarly: <gnash> Not tellin'. Gnarly good guard tooth. <grunch> [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Can I do something for you... in return for the wand?
    • Gnarly: <gnash> Gnarly good guard tooth. Yoo says it too, like Mistress does. Gnarly knows yoo sent by Mistress, then. <grunch> [starts minigame]

Answers for the minigame:

  • Player: You're a wonderful guard tooth with lovely cusps.
  • Player: I can see your bicuspid ancestry is an example to all molar-kind.
  • Player: Your enamel shimmers like a river of silver in the moonlight.
  • Player: I've never seen such amazing, inspired and dream-like toothiness.
  • Player: Your enamel looks clean. You must brush regularly. [not the exact wording]
  • [Incomplete transcript]

After finishing the minigame:

  • Gnarly: <gnash> But first bring me milk [not the exact wording]

[Incomplete transcript]

Talk to Gnarly again:

  • Player: Are you ready to give me that wand now?
  • Gnarly: <crunch> Nope. Want milk first. <grunch>
  • Player: [if you have milk] I have some here.
  • Gnarly: <crunch> Yip! Yip... pours it in! <gnaw> Pours it in! <grunch>
  • You pour the milk slowly into Gnarly mouth; the milk bucket is soon empty.
  • Gnarly: <crunch> Slurp! <gnaw> Goods milk... fangs! <grunch>
  • Player: Right, can I have the wand now, please?
  • Gnarly: <gnaw> Nope. <grunch>
  • Player: WHAT?
  • Gnarly: <chomp> Kidderin'. Yoo keeps teef in. Gnarly get stick... but yoo close eyes first! <grunch>
  • Player: I'm not going to close my eyes, just get the wand.
    • Gnarly: <chomp> Won't. Yoo close eyes! <grunch> [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Okay, I'll close my eyes.
    • Gnarly: <chomp> Good! <grunch> [fades to black] <chomp> Gots it. Pick Gnarly up! Gnarly take stick to Mistress. <grunch>
    • Player: Please can I have that wand?
    • Gnarly: <chomp> Yoo pick Gnarly up. Gnarly take stick to Mistress. <grunch>
    • Player: I just need the wand, please.
      • Gnarly: <chomp> Not yours[sic]. Gnarly take. Pick Gnarly up! Carry Gnarly. <grunch> [back to the dialogue options]
    • Player: Okay, okay! Keep your enamel on, I'll pick you up.
      • Gnarly: <chomp> Good, pick Gnarly up! <grunch> [you pick Gnarly up] <chmop> Gnarly is stuffed into your backpack! <grunch>
      • Player: Quiet! We'll get to the Tooth Fairy soon, then you can get out.

Back to the Tooth Fairy:

  • Player: Hi, I've, er... sort of got your wand.
  • Tooth Fairy: Sort of? Was the mission successful or not? I know it was a bit of a sticky op, but you should at least be clear on the results.
  • Player: Well, yes, I do have your wand... but it's a bit Gnarly. That is, Gnarly has it - I'm just the stick man.
  • Tooth Fairy: Oh, I say. Oh, I see! Gnarly, you bad boy! Cracking job, [Player]. Hand it over... the wand too. [she takes Gnarly. Dialogue continues to next section]

If you talk to the Tooth Fairy again before watching the projector:

  • Tooth Fairy: Well done, soldier, mission accomplished successfully. You've got a green light; you're cleared for active duty.
  • Player: Great, can't wait to get involved.
  • Tooth Fairy: But first, refresher training on the previous mission intelligence briefings. Point one: fairy magic is closely intertwined with teeth. Point two: the Fairy Godfather is impervious to everything but his orks. Our operational design plan focuses on his overconfidence - this is his vulnerability.
  • Player: Okay, that's clear.
  • Tooth Fairy: I've prepared a full mission intelligence briefing; turn on the projector.

Briefing #3:

  • Tooth Fairy: [projector shows a fairy spying on Gromblod] The ork generals have been located and tracked. We picked strategic points to magically affect their teeth. Fariy agents on covert mission made sure that our 'target' orks' teeth are ready. Your mission is to extract the rotten teeth from each ork general. [the fairy casts a spell on Gromblod who then shows that his jaw is in pain. Then a diagram is shown going from an ork to a tooth to a plant to a tooth ork] Only when you have a greenlight on the extraction missions and all three teeth can we move on with the plan. You will plant the ork teeth in the special farming patches in the rift area. The teeth will grow into ork creatures and become your allies, able to damage the Fairy Godfather's defensive shield where you cannot. [projection ends]
  • Tooth Fairy: To sum up: for this complex extraction mission you must collect a tooth from all three ork generals. Does that make sense?
  • Player: Erm, no, can you take me through it again?
    • Tooth Fairy: Hurrggghhhh! Let's recap on the second mission briefing; turn on the projector. [ends dialogue]
  • Player: Yes, I understand all of that. [continue to next dialogue section]

Talking to the Tooth Fairy after Briefing #3:

  • Tooth Fairy: Do you agree to accept this mission?
  • Player: What mission?
    • Tooth Fairy: Hurrggghhhh! Let's recap on the second mission briefing; turn on the projector. [ends dialogue]
  • Player: Yes, I accept.
    • Tooth Fairy: Excellent! [continue to the Tooth replacement dialogue section]
  • Player: Err, no.
    • Tooth Fairy: Hmph, not turning chicken are you? Feeling a little yellow around the gills? [ends dialogue]

Talking to the Tooth Fairy again after you've agreed to get the ork teeth:

  • Player: What was I supposed to be doing again?
  • Tooth Fairy: You just volunteered to execute a critical mission to take affirmative action against the Fairy Godfather.
  • Player: What mission?
    • Tooth Fairy: Hurrggghhhh! Let's recap on the second mission briefing; turn on the projector. [ends dialogue]
  • Player: Oh, that's right; what now? [continue to the Tooth replacement dialogue section]

Tooth replacement:

  • Tooth Fairy: We need to get you kitted out with a replacement magic tooth to enable you to access more fairy rings. Also, I need to provide you with a dossier containing top secret information.
  • Player: Replace one of my teeth?
  • Tooth Fairy: And give you a dossier, yes.
  • Player: But isn't that going to be painful?
  • Tooth Fairy: Not especially; the dossier is quite safe. Fairy supply officers have checked it conforms to Fairy Protocol FFS1B for dossier safety.
  • Player: No! I meant about the tooth.
  • Tooth Fairy: Oh, that. The implantation procedure does tend to be a bit uncomfortable, but you're no sissy, are you? It's for the ultimate good cause - the defence of all fairykind. You hero types usually just 'suck-it-up' anyway... unless you're scared of a teensy but of pain? [continue to next section]

Ask about magic teeth and dossier:

  • Player: Why do you need to give me a magic tooth?
    • Tooth Fairy: Soldier, clean our your ears! The magic tooth will temporarily give you access to some remote fairy ring destinations, enabling you to successfully complete this operation. Are you ready for the procedure? We all have to make sacrifices; no pain, no gain! [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: What is the dossier you need to give me?
    • Tooth Fairy: This top secret dossier contains all of the intelligence our spy network has gathered on the Fairy Godfather's ork generals.
    • Player: Ork intelligence?
    • Tooth Fairy: Quite... You'll require this intelligence in order to find them and harvest their teeth. Now are you ready for the tooth extraction procedure, or are you still worried about a little bit of pain? [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Pain? Bring it on! Replace my tooth. [despite the text the player looks scared]
    • Tooth Fairy: Excellent! That's the ticket! Okay, we need to extract that tooth. This is a job for TEEF. [continue to next dialogue section]
  • Player: Let's just forget about it shall we?
    • Tooth Fairy: Some hero you are! Come back when you grow a spine! Or have a tooth knocked out... [ends dialogue]

Ask about TEEF:

  • Player: TEEF? What's that?
    • Tooth Fairy: Relax soldier, remember your training. TEEF - Tooth Extraction Expert Fairies. These ladies are professionals. They're specialists heavy machinery operators with a delicate touch. Obviously, you're larger than a fairy and that creates a substantial challenge for our usual tooth-pulling apparatus, but TEEF have been practising every day, so they know the drill. TEEF will have that tooth out in double time! [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: What exactly is involved in this procedure?
    • Tooth Fairy: Forewarned is unharmed, soldier. I like your style. TEEF will need some space in which to operate, so I'll be asking you to stand, at ease, just south of the projector, on the spot where those yellow flowers are situated. Ignore the blood stains... [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: What do you need me to do now?
    • Tooth Fairy: Make your way south of the projector. Stand at ease on the yellow flowers and give us the signal when you're ready for the procedure to begin.
    • Player: A signal? You mean like wave at you?
    • Tooth Fairy: Excellent, soldier! A perfect combat signal; waving would, indeed, be the indicator for the start of the tooth removal procedure. [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Okay, thanks. [ends dialogue. note you will go all the way back to: Talking to the Tooth Fairy again after you've agreed to get the ork teeth:]

The tooth extractor procedure:

  • Tooth Fairy: [two fairies fly over to you caring large a tooth extractor] That's right TEEF. We need to get that tooth out. You know the drill. [the screen goes black and says "Censored for the squeamish."] Okay... that's right, girls, get a good grip!
  • Player: Wha', no anaes'he'ic?
  • Tooth Fairy: Great work, girls! Go on: pull! Anaesthetic? What sort of hero are you?
  • Player: I' 'ondering i' 'ee ca' 'econhidder 'iss...?
  • Tooth Fairy: Reconsider? Why on earth would you want that. Now, look, you made them slip. Just be patient. Go on, girls, get back in there!
  • Player: Ge' a'ay 'om 'ee!
  • Tooth Fairy: Ah, yes, an excellent choice, girls: target acquired. This won't hurt a bit...
  • Player: 'eally?
  • Tooth Fairy: Fire at will, girls!
  • Extractor lady: Everyone stand clear. 3... 2... 1... heave!
  • Tooth Fairy: Pull harder, ladies... put your backs into it!
  • Player: Oooooowww! [tooth yanked] OOOOOOWWWW!
  • Tooth Fairy: Okay, now we need to deploy the magic tooth. [screen is no longer black] Good, that's it, mission accomplished.
  • The Tooth Fairy hands a dossier to you.
  • Player: Owww... dat weally 'urts!
  • Tooth Fairy: That dossier contains information on the ork generals, as discussed in the briefing. You will need to collect a tooth from each of them and bring all three teeth to me. This is a very important extraction mission and is vital to the operational plan.
  • Player: Danks for da dossier... reawwy good!

[the contents of the Fairy dossier should be in the item page not here]

Talking to the Tooth Fairy before you have any teeth:

  • Player: What should I be doing?
  • Tooth Fairy: Check your dossier! Would you like to see the mission briefing again?
  • Player: Yes, please, I'll watch it again.
    • Tooth Fairy: Hurrggghhhh! Let's recap on the second mission briefing; turn on the projector. [ends dialogue]
  • Player: Just a sum up of where I am now, please.
    • Tooth Fairy: Okay! You need to collect a tooth from each of the three ork generals that work for the Fairy Godfather. The Fairy Godfather's magic is strongly interwoven with these ork generals and the rift. We need the teeth in order to grow tooth creature allies that will fight alongside you in a battle against the Fairy Godfather and his ork minions. Check your dossier for information on how to get to each of the ork generals and figure out how to get their teeth.
    • Player: Thanks for the reminder. [ends dialogue]
  • Player: No, I think I remember. [ends dialogue]

Talking to General Bre'egth:

  • General Bre'egth: What do you want, human? *growl*
  • Player: Err... nothing.
    • General Bre'egth: Get out of my face then, human! *growl* [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Why, who's asking?
    • General Bre'egth: Asking? General Bre'egth is asking! Now, human - speak up! *growl* What do you want? [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: What's wrong with your mouth?
    • General Bre'egth: My mouth? Why you so interested in my mouth?
    • Player: I noticed that you happen to have a tooth missing...
    • General Bre'egth: The scars of victory! Missing tooth tells me of big victory on K'Chunk! He got a lesson he will never forget and, as a reminder, he has my tooth! My tooth will grow back, but his weakness will be with him forever!
    • Player: And whereabouts is this subordinate of yours buried?
    • General Bre'egth: He not die! I wanted him to live with his weakness till end of his days. I ordered my grunts to get rid of him... Ha, ha, ha! I am the GREATEST warrior, just ask any ork here!
    • Player: I'll be sure to do that, thanks. [ends dialogue]
  • Player: Sorry, I need to leave now. [ends dialogue]

Talking to any ork around General Bre'egth:

  • Player: Uh, you guys aren't fairies - what are you doing here?
  • Ork: Grunt! Smelly, stinky human! Urgh! Leave us alone before we hurt you.
  • Player: But I wanted to talk to you!
  • Ork: What about?
  • Player: Do you know anything about K'Chunk? [all other options are standard character dialogue]
  • Ork: Oh, he WAS one of our troop. He took a swipe at Bre'egth; it was a whitewash! That poor ork didn't know what hit him! Mind you, he did land a lucky punch dat took out Bre'egth's most rottenest tooth. I guess she's grateful to him for that, so she didn't kill him.
  • Player: Where is he now?
  • Ork: We sent him through one of dose fairy rings... Who knows where he ended up? Prob'ly won't see hide nor hair of him again! That Fairy Fixit was a nuisance, though, trying to tell us we shouldn't use it. Ha, like that'd stop us. Anyway, shove off - you're boring me. [ends dialogue]

Talking to Fairy Fixit:

  • Player: What do you know about K'Chunk? [the other option is standard character dialogue]
  • Fairy Fixit: Oh, some orks came along and stuffed this ork into the fairy ring system. I thought they were going to destroy the whole thing, but I just managed to compensate the RLS and DOIs, so he should be okay.
  • Player: Once again in English?
  • Fairy Fixit: Oh, sorry! I managed to compensate the Ring Location System so that this ork landed in a general area, DOIs are Distant Outlying Islands.
  • Player: So you know where he went then?
  • Fairy Fixit: Yes, of course! The coord marker was 'D', 'I', 'P'.
  • Player: Excellent, many thanks.

Talking to K'Chunk:

  • Player: What are you doing here?
    • K'Chunk: I's just relaxing - it's relaxin' 'ere! I made da fire! [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Do you know anything about General Bre'egth?
    • K'Chunk: Err... da name is in me 'ead... Erm... Soz, I was sleeps and it's gone from me 'ead. But...
    • Player: Yes?
    • K'Chunk: I made da fire! [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Can you tell me anything useful?
    • K'Chunk: I made da fire! [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: You knocked out Bre'egth's tooth, didn't you?
    • K'Chunk: Yeah, me did dat. I got da tooth hidden dead secret in me leggy pouch! Dat is my mostly biggest fing!
    • Player: Ahah, that's interesting information, thanks...
    • K'Chunk: Dat is no prab... ... prub... prob... ... er... tricksy fing. [ends dialogue]
  • Player: Okay, thanks. [ends dialogue]

Talking to General Gromblod before anyone else:

  • Player: What are you doing here?
  • General Gromblod: Out of my way, pesky 'uman - you's not belong here.
  • Player: Oh, and I suppose you do?

Talking to anyone else in the enchanted valley:

  • [Either of the Centaurs or the Wood Dryad, but not the frog NPCs. The NPC will greet you in a unique way]
  • Player: [If this is your first time talking to an NPC here] I see Gromblod is here!
  • Player: [If you have already talked with any NPC here] Have you seen Gromblod?
  • NPC: Yeah, we want him to leave the valley, but he's only motivated by greed! He keeps looking for something to eat, but he'll just eat the whole lot if we don't keep our eyes on him.
  • Player: Okay, I'll see what can be done.

Talking to General Gromblod after anyone else:

  • Player: What are you doing here?
  • General Gromblod: Grr, you be dead speaking at me.
  • Player: Hey! I may be able to help.
  • General Gromblod: I is looking for dat tasty mangos. I scoff der lot when I finds dem! But der horsey man and tree thingy, they not say where der mango is. I find it, though, and I bash fings till I do.
  • Player: Oh, so you're looking for a mango? Why didn't you say so! Okay, let's see what can be done.

Talking to an NPC again:

  • NPC: Have you talked to Gromblod yet? He's so selfish and greedy! Please get him out of our valley!
  • Player: Actually, I might be able to help. I'm on a mission for the fairies; I think I can persuade Gromblod to leave and all I need is one mango! Can you let me know where I can get one from?
  • NPC: [if you are talking to either Centaur] I think the dryad might be able to help you with that. [ends dialogue]
  • Wood Dryad: Sure, but they're not around here. You need to use a fairy ring. I'll cast the necessary spell to allow you to collect one. [She casts a spell on you] The code for the fairy ring is CLR.

Talking to General Gromblod with a mango:

  • Player: Hey! I have a mango for you! Will you leave if I give it to you?
  • General Gromblod: Yeah, gives it here.
  • You hand the mango over to Gromblod.
  • Gromblod howls in pain as he bites into the mango. He then throws it. [not the exact wording]

Talking to General Shredflesh:

  • Player: Who are you?
    • General Shredflesh: I are Shredflesh. I shred da fle-Oowwww, my toooooth! [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: What are you doing here?
    • General Shredflesh: I be adventurin'... and lookin' for da herbies to be making me toof less hurtin'. [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: How did you get here?
    • General Shredflesh: Da grunts put me in da fairy ring fing; dey's got some fairies what dey 'persuade' to show 'em how to use it. [back to the dialogue options]
  • Player: Can I help you with something?
    • General Shredflesh: Da toof hurt like a boat of wounded whelps! But you's human and no use creature... so na, get lost!
    • Player: So your tooth is really hurting is it?
      • General Shredflesh: Yeah, hurting like a jaggy blade in da head! [back to these dialogue options]
    • Player: Which tooth is it that's so terribly painful and hurting?
      • General Shredflesh: Oooow, yeah, shush - you making it worse, dey all hurt! [back to these dialogue options]
    • Player: And the pain is very high is it?
      • General Shredflesh: Oooow... stop... is too painful. You making it more worse. [back to these dialogue options]
    • Player: I'm a dentist; I can extract it for you!
      • General Shredflesh: Human not speaking da troof. You show me dat you's da dentist!
      • Player: [if you have a tooth extractor] I have a tooth extractor: look! Right, let's get that tooth out!
      • General Shredflesh: Oh! But dem toof docs is evil! Dey's big 'n' scary!
      • Player: Why? What's to fear?
      • General Shredflesh: Dey hurts me! [starts minigame]
    • Player: I have to go, but I'll be back. [this option is currently glitched and clicking it does nothing]
  • Player: I have to go, but I'll be back.

General Shredflesh minigame:

  • Player: It may hurt a bit, but no more than a kick in the head.
    • General Shredflesh: Me's kick you inna head! [becomes more Furious]
  • Player: What's a bit of pain to a huge ork like you?
    • General Shredflesh: Hmm, yeah, I'm tough... I am tough! [becomes more Convinced]
  • Player: Let me pull it out! What are you, an ork or a goblin?
    • General Shredflesh: Okays. I'm no weedy goblin! [becomes more Convinced]
  • Player: If the tooth isn't pulled out, all your teeth will hurt much worse!
    • General Shredflesh: Uhh, no want more hurt, maybe pull... good. [becomes more Convinced]
  • Player: Your tooth is rotten, just like you!
    • General Shredflesh: No, I more rotten than tooth! Lat dead 'un tell me so. [becomes more Furious]
  • Player: Well, I think you're a wimp if you don't let me pull your tooth.
    • General Shredflesh: I kill you for saying so-owwww, my tooth! You be in pain like me! [becomes more Furious]
  • Player: You don't need teeth, just suck the eyeballs from your enemies!
    • General Shredflesh: Me's like teeth an grind down dead 'un's bones - dey's yummy! [becomes more Furious]
  • Player: I bet your tooth doesn't hurt - it's all in your head you big faker.
    • General Shredflesh: Hmm, not sure... Pain in tooth, it really sore! [becomes more Furious]
  • Player: I'll make sure it doesn't hurt a bit; I'm a professional!
    • General Shredflesh: Hmmm, okay. No pain you's says? [becomes more Convinced]

If you lose General Shredflesh will say: Leave me alone [ends dialogue] If you lose General Shredflesh will say: Go ahead, pull it out! [ends dialogue]

Extracting Shredflesh's tooth:

  • Player: Now, hold still. This won't hurt a bit... [you get close with the tooth extractors and the screen goes black and says "Censored for the squeamish."]
  • General Shredflesh: Owww!
  • Player: Oh, come on. I've barely done anything yet... [ripping sound] Got it!
  • General Shredflesh: Arrgggg!
  • You extract the tooth from Shredflesh's mouth.

Talking to the Tooth Fairy with all teeth:

  • Player: I have returned with all three ork teeth.
  • Tooth Fairy: Affirmative, soldier! Top-drawer operation! With these ork generals' teeth, you will be able to test fairy tooth magic live in the field! This is an exciting moment.
  • Player: What should I do now?
  • Tooth Fairy: Soldier, prepare for an incursion into enemy territory! You are cleared to engage the Fairy Godfather with 'considerable prejudice'.
  • Player: Considerable? Don't you mean 'extreme prejudice'?
  • Tooth Fairy: I know what I mean, soldier. 'Extreme prejudice' just doesn't fit into fairy ethos. You won't find a fairy raging with anger. But we have been known to fly off in a huff when extremely provoked.
  • Player: Hmm, you're not really a race of warriors, are you?
  • Tooth Fairy: Soldier, you'll have a real fight on your hands if you keep on with that attitude... Anyway, I've prepared another intelligence briefing - turn on the projector!

Yet another projector presentation:

  • Tooth Fairy: [there is the same diagram from last time. it shows going from an ork to a tooth to a plant to a tooth ork] You gained a tooth from each ork general. The tooth should be planted in a farming patch in the rift area. It will grow into a tooth creature, which will become your ally against the Fairy Godfather's forces. [the image shows using the fairy wand to heal a tooth ork] When you go to engage the Fairy Godfather, you'll be given the #ZFW1 combat apparatus. If a tooth creature is low on health, this wand can be used to heal the tooth creature. [the image shows using the fairy wand to heal a tooth ork plant] The wand can also be used to heal a damaged tooth plant. You will need all three tooth-ork allies to destroy the shield protecting the Fairy Godfather. [projection ends]
  • Tooth Fairy: You're ready to engage the Fairy Godfather, but, before that, you need some specialised offensive capabilities.
  • Player: Now, that sounds more like it!
  • Tooth Fairy: Indeed, soldier. You will be armed with the special issue #ZFW1 combat apparatus! This apparatus facilitates rapid combat resuscitation of any injured 'Dental Avengers' and our allies, while in the theatre of war.
  • Player: Dental what? You mean it will heal the tooth creatures if they get injured?
  • The Tooth Fairy hands you a wand.
  • Tooth Fairy: Affirmative, soldier. 'Dental Avengers' is their codename. Snappy, isn't it? You need to make way to the rendezvous coordinates, which I've added to your dossier. You will be targetting[sic] the Fairy Godfather, so you will need to prepare battle rations and armaments accordingly. You will be receive your final briefing when you arrive at the coordinates.
  • The Tooth Fairy updates your dossier with information.
  • Tooth Fairy: [Player], you are dismissed!

somehow more questions:

  • Player: What should I do now?
    • Tooth Fairy: Like I said, soldier: you will be engaging the Fairy Godfather and his ork generals near the rift. That is it, the final push! You need to prepare to battle rations and armaments accordingly. You will receive your final briefing when you arrive at the rift coordinates detailed in your dossier.
  • Player: Where do I need to go?
    • Tooth Fairy: I've added further details to your dossier which explain how to get to the rift area. Meet me there once you've prepared your battle rations and armaments.
  • Player: What else is there to consider?
    • Tooth Fairy: You'll need to bring those three ork teeth with you and the #ZFW1 combat apparatus. This will be the first time we use fairy tooth magic in a live fire situation. It's quite an honour, you know? Hopefully, all will go well. You'll need to think tactically. Shredflesh will almost certainly attack the growing tooth creatures, so he could be a good first target. Gromblod, however, will summon more ork grunts through the rift. Finnally, don't forget that Bre'egth will be marshalling the grunts to fight more effectively - if she's taken out of the battle, the grunts are likely to be much less disciplined and will likely fall to infighting. Think about your actions well, [Player], they will have a big impact on this battle.
  • Player: Can I see that briefing again, please?
    • Tooth Fairy: Certainly - turn on the projector! [ends dialogue]
  • Player: Okay, thanks.

Talk to again:

  • Player: What should I do now?
  • Tooth Fairy: Soldier, make your way to the rendezvous coordinates as described in your dossier. There you'll begin Operation: GUM, so prepare rations and armaments accordingly. You will receive your final briefing when you arrive.
  • Player: Wait, what is Operation: GUM?
  • Tooth Fairy: It stands for 'Godfather Uprooting Mission'. It will be your most challenging mission yet, soldier. [Player]. You are dismissed!
  • Player: Sir, yes, sir!

Looking at the Fairy Godfather:

  • Fairy Godfather: Aha! Ze 'Queen Bee' stand-a no chance now... I am-a da 'untouchable'! I have-a grabbed-a all ze Queen Bee's power! And-a more of zee recruits come-a through every minute! I will own-a all-a Zanaris before ze day is out-a!
  • Fat Rocco: But, bozz. what about zer Fairy Resistance and dat pesky 'uman of deres?
  • Fairy Godfather: Pah! Re-zee-stance? What re-zee-stance? Zey have-a no-a chance against us-a! [opens the violin case and takes a wand from it] I-a have-a my wand... Let zem come! [an ork comes through the rift] Louie and-a Rocco: take-a zeez ork recruits to-a Zanaris - take-a control! Don't take-a any pree-zone-ers!
  • Fat Rocco: Yes, bozz.

Talk to the Tooth Fairy (standing near you):

  • Tooth Fairy: Hello there.
  • Player: Hey, how come you're here?
  • Tooth Fairy: I just came to give you another briefing and give you some protection!
  • Player: Okay, let's get it over with. [she casts a spell on you. then see cutscene]


  • Tooth Fairy: [shows the farming patches] You need to plant the ork teeth in the farming patches so they grow into tooth creature allies. If a tooth creature dies, it will regrow in the same farming patch. [shows the orks] Defear the ork generals and grunts first. All three ork generals need to be killed before your tooth creature allies can fully take out the Godfather's shield. [shows the Fairy Godfather] Once the ork generals have been killed and your tooth creature allies have destroyed the Godfather's shield, he will no longer be impervious to your attacks. Take the battle to him and don't let him escape!

If you talk to her again:

  • Player: [if you lost any teeth] I've lost some of the ork generals' teeth.
    • Tooth Fairy: Yes, we know. We found them during our rounds.
    • The Tooth Fairy returns the ork teeth you lost.
  • Player: [if you lost the wand] I need a new #ZFW1 combat apparatus.
    • The Tooth Fairy gives you a new wand.
  • Player: What do I need to do again?
    • Tooth Fairy: Let me brief you again. [shows briefing cutscene again then ends dialogue]
  • Player: Do you have any questions?
    • Tooth Fairy: How's Operation: GUM going? Have you secured a good beachhead?
    • Player: Beachhead? There are no beaches in there.
    • Tooth Fairy: Give me a sitrep, soldier. I need a report.
    • Player: Yes, sir! The Godfather is still at large, but I am attempting to take out both hard and soft targets in the theatre of war.
    • Tooth Fairy: Carry on, soldier, good work.
  • Player: Okay, thanks.

When you beat him:

  • Fairy Godfather: Okay, okay, there seems to be some sorta misunderstanding here. Let's parlay! [ends dialogue. talk to him again to start cutscene]


  • Fairy Godfather: [the rift is pulling on him] You-a... You-a defeata me? How iz theese poss-a-bill-ah?
  • Fairy Queen: [her and 2 other fairies appear] We all had a part to play in it!
  • Fairy Godfather: You do-gooder faireez and-a this do-gooder human! I curse-a theez land-a with-a all-a my power, especially those-a tooth things you used to defeat-a me... Graaaah! [he kills the tooth orks with a spell]
  • Player: It looks like you have a date with destiny!
  • Fairy Godfather: [he gets sucked into the rift] Arrgghhhhhh...
  • Fairy Queen: [the 2 other fairies start casting magic on the rift] Right, stitching crew: let's get this rift all sewn up.
  • Player: What's happening now?
  • Fairy Queen: [the fairies finish and back away] The stitching crew are sealing the rift; that should be the last we see of the Fairy Godfather. [the rift starts spewing rubble] Oh dear, that shouldn't be happening! The rift is expanding... the Godfather's evil energy is too much for it to take!
  • Player: [the rift has lots of energy coming from it] It's going to explode! [the rift explodes but everyone is alive] Everyone get down! What happened here?
  • Fairy Queen: [looking at the damaged surrounding landscape] It looks like the rift has exploded and affected this entire area!
  • Player: Look at the mess it's made!
  • Fairy Queen: Yes, it looks like the Fairy Godfather has made a lasting impression on Zanaris after all. [cursed tooth creatures attack the other 2 fairies] Oh dear, it looks like the Fairy Godfather really has left a bit of a mess to clear up. Those cursed tooth orks do not look friendly! I think we need to get out of here! Prepare for teleport! [teleport away with a butterfly animation] Whew! I'm glad we got out of there in time! That should be the last we see of that Fairy Godfather. Now, we need to discuss a suitable reward for you, but first we need to increase your fairy ring clearance level, so you needn't have to carry a staff.
  • Player: Great, so I don't need to use a dramen or lunar staff anymore?
  • Fairy Queen: Exactly right! You'll also be able to use the fairy rings to get to Ape Atoll, K'Chunk's island and the cavern near Gu'Tanoth. I'll make the magic in your tooth permanent; prepare for the enchantment! [she casts a spell on you]
  • Player: Great, thanks!
  • Fairy Queen: Right, now I'd like to reward you for your brave efforts. Have this magic watering can as a measure of our gratitude. As you have never failed to aid us in our times of woe, so this watering can shall never empty of water.
  • The Fairy Queen gives you a magic watering can.
  • Fairy Queen: We're completely indebted to you! Thanks so much for all your efforts! I believe that Martin the Master Gardener would be interested in talking to you too. I can teleport you there right now if you like?
  • Player: Yes, please teleport me there now. [butterfly teleport to Martin and ends dialogue]
  • Player: Oh, that's okay, I'm fine right now.
    • [Incomplete transcript]

Talking to Martin:

  • [select Talk about farming problems and fairies as all others are unrelated to the quest]
  • Martin the Master Gardener: Oh, [Player]! I've been expecting you. How wonderful, you've done it!
  • Player: The Fairy Queen suggested I should come and talk to you.
  • Martin the Master Gardener: Yes! Yes! You've done it... all the patches are growing well again. We're not up to full production right yet, but we're seeing some great improvements.
  • Player: That's great news! [ends dialogue]