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This page contains dialogue related to 50% Luke.
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- Are you alright?
- Player: Are you all right?
- 50% Luke: Who goes there? Arr! A landlubber! Begone afore I take my cutlass to ye! I've been charged with guardin' this gate and no noodle-armed landlubbers will make it past me alive!
- Player: That's not a cutlass. I think it's a twig.
- 50% Luke: Ye cheeky begger! I was wavin' my finger at ye!
- Player: All right...
- 50% Luke: Arrr... just 'cos me body happens to be 50% wood does not mean I'm heartless.
- 50% Luke: I got a bag of 'em here. Wanna see?
- Player: I think I'll pass.
- What happened to you?
- Player: What happened to you?
- 50% Luke: That be a tale so heart-wrenchin' that it has so far wrenched the hearts from over a dozen sturdier men than thee! A tale of such woe that none but the stoniest hearts can hear it without sheddin' a single, poignant tear... And I'll never tell ye, not even if ye wore an item, such as a ring, with powers of mind control!
- Player: What if I said please?
- 50% Luke: Hmmmm...well alright... Wait, no! Get goin' landlubber before I take my splintery foot to yet behind!
- What happened to you?
- If you are not wearing a Ring of Charos (a)
- Player: What happened to you?
- 50% Luke: That be a tale so heart-wrenchin' that it has so far wrenched the hearts from over a dozen sturdier men than thee! A tale of such woe that none but the stoniest hearts can hear it without sheddin' a single, poignant tear... And I'll never tell ye, not even if ye wore an item, such as a ring, with powers of mind control!
- Player: What if I said please?
- 50% Luke: Hmmmm...well alright... Wait, no! Get goin' landlubber before I take my splintery foot to yet behind!
- If you are wearing a Ring of Charos (a)
- Player: What happened to you?
- 50% Luke: Well ye seem like a lad/lass that can handle such a tale...so I'll tell ye...
- 50% Luke: Well, it all starts with this albatross...
- 50% Luke: Wait, never mind, I'll skip forward a bit.
- Player: Are you sure?
- 50% Luke: I have to lad/lass, Cap'n Donnie will flay what little is left of me if I told ye.
- 50% Luke: But anyway, I got recruited to the zombie pirates along with the rest of the crew in an unspecified incident involvin this albatross.
- 50% Luke: We was sailin' along happily, and I was partakin' of a little 'rum' in the crows nest.
- 50% Luke: Well, we hit either a really rough wave or some rocks.
- 50% Luke: Twas kind of hard for me to tell which, as I was well out of it by then!
- 50% Luke: Regardless, I toppled from the crows nest into the water.
- Player: Is that how you got so badly injured?
- 50% Luke: No lad/lass!
- 50% Luke: What happened next was that I discovered a new, previously uncharted reef of hard, spiky coral.
- 50% Luke: I made a mental note of its location, and to this day it is still marked on our fleet's charts as Lukes Reef.
- 50% Luke: I managed to grab a hold of our ship, the Inebriated, as it passed overhead.
- 50% Luke: And then I discovered another, taller, spikier reef of even sharper and more painful coral.
- 50% Luke: To this day it is still marked on our fleet's charts as The Other 50% Reef.
- Player: Owwwwwwwww...
- 50% Luke: It gets worse...
- 50% Luke: When they hauled what was left of me on deck, they dropped me onto the floor while they decided what to do with me.
- 50% Luke: Bear in mind this would be on a ghost ship, the planks of which sweat a thick mixture of stagnant water...and pure salt crystals.
- Player: Oh...my...god...[sic]
- 50% Luke: But on the good side, all my thrashin' and pained squealin' settled the matter in the Captain's mind, and he had the shipwright carve me half a body out of his Witchwood Planks.
- Player: Witchwood? What's that?
- 50% Luke: Tis a special, magical wood from a now extinct tree.
- 50% Luke: Once they nailed it all in place the stuff moves like it is part of me body.
- 50% Luke: The stuff will also grow back if it breaks, which is dead handy!
- Player: Wow, that stuff must be very valuable!
- 50% Luke: Arr! That it be!
- 50% Luke: So, that be the tale of how I managed to lose precisely 50% of my body.
- Player: There there.
- So what is going on here anyway?
- Player: So what is going on here anyway?
- 50% Luke: Ye expect me to talk?
- Player: No Mr. Luke, I expect you to die!
- 50% Luke: Hah! I'm one step ahead of ye!
- Player: Egad, outsmarted by the man with the wooden brain. But seriously, what is going on here?
- 50% Luke: I can't tell ye lad/lass. The Cap'n would have me whittled down to toothpicks if I did.
- Player: Well if you can't tell me, perhaps you could show me through the medium of Interpretive Dance?
- 50% Luke: No. Just...no.
- Player: Mime?
- 50% Luke: Look, lad/lass I'm not tellin' ye a thing! So clear out while ye still can!
When trying to open the gate[edit | edit source]
- 50% Luke: Arr! Tryin' ter get away eh? Well ye'll never sneak past me, I'm the best lookout this crew has ever seen!
- You may say any one of six possible phrases to distract 50% Luke.
- Player: Hey you! Look over there!
- Player: Who's that making faces behind you?
- Player: Oh my! Is that a genuine 3rd Age Diversion?
- Player: Is that your distraction?
- Player: Who is that behind you?
- Player: That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!
When coming back through the gate[edit | edit source]
- 50% Luke: Hey! What are you doing out there?
- Player: Nothing.
- 50% Luke: Well Cap'n Donnie said no livin' landlubbers were allowed out of the compound. So get yerself back in here, or yer for it!