Transcript of 2021 April Fools

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This transcript involves dialogue with Regina, Party Pete, K'ril Psssutsaroth, K'ril the deflated, Inflatable Invader, and the player.

31 March 2021[edit | edit source]

Logging in[edit | edit source]

  • You sense dark forces emanating from the grounds of Draynor Manor.

When standing near Regina[edit | edit source]

Between 0:00 and 9:00 game time[edit | edit source]

  • (One of the following can be seen every 30 seconds:)
    • Regina: I'll show my father this isn't 'just a phase'!
    • Regina: They are, like, so done for!
    • Regina: When the portal opens, they'll get they deserve.[sic]

Between 9:00 and 17:00 game time[edit | edit source]

  • (One of the following can be seen every 30 seconds:)
    • Regina: Enoby, stop oogling Chad and focus.
    • Regina: It's, like, actually working...
    • Regina: You better not have told your mother about this, Raven!

After 17:00 game time[edit | edit source]

  • (One of the following can be seen every 30 seconds:)
    • Regina: I hope Draynor is ready for a sick burn.
    • Regina: Keep going! Infernus is within reach.
    • Regina: The portal's almost, like, totally ready!

Talking to Regina[edit | edit source]

  • Player: What are you doing here?
  • Regina: Ugh. Why are you, like, even talking to me? My father sent you, didn't he? Oh my Zamorak... I'm not a child anymore! Come on...
  • Player: Nobody sent me. But what you're doing here looks very suspicious.
  • Regina: Ugh. It's, like, none of your business. Now, make like a Stinkfly and buzz off!

Talking to Party Pete[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Party Pete?! What are you doing here?
  • Party Pete: I got an invitation of course! I'm no party crasher.
  • Party Pete: Usually...
  • Player: An invitation?
  • Party Pete: Yeah! The first name's a bit smudged, but it's clearly meant for me.
  • Player: Let me see that.
  • Party Pete hands you the 'party' invitation.
  • Player: Let's see...
  • Player: 'Dear P---- Pete, I am afraid I must write to you in desperate need of aid.'
  • Player: 'It has come to my attention that my daughter Regina is hosting a wicked gathering near Draynor Manor at the turn of the month.'
  • Player: 'She and her friends plan to unleash something killer and wild. Once the clock strikes midnight, all of Draynor will be on fire.'
  • Player: 'She does not know what she is doing. Please, help her in any way you can.'
  • Player: ...
  • Player: I... don't think this is talking about a party.
  • Party Pete: Of course it is! Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Just leave it to me.
  • Player: If you insist.

1st April 2021[edit | edit source]

Talking to Regina and Party Pete[edit | edit source]

First meeting[edit | edit source]

  • Regina: What have you done?!
  • Party Pete: The most epic balloon drop ever by the looks of it!
  • Regina: Ugh. What in Zamorak's name did I do to deserve this?
  • Regina: Other than the whole 'attempted demonic summoning' thing.
  • Player: What happened here?
  • Regina: We were gonna create a portal to Infernus. It's, like, the demon homeworld. Or something.
  • Regina: But this dunderhead came and sabotaged the ritual with one of his 'balloon drops'. Then my friends ditched me.
  • Party Pete: That's a funny way of saying 'improved'.
  • Regina: Instead of Infernus we made a portal to Inflatus. The balloon homeworld. Or whatever.
  • Regina: And now their rubbery armies will, like, totally kill us all.
  • Select an option
    • Watch the cutscene
      • Cutscene begins.
      • Regina: Yes... Yes! It's working! The gateway to Infernus is opening.
      • Party Pete: Awwww yeah. This party is really heating up. You know what that means...
      • Regina: Don't. You. Dare.
      • Balloons drop on the ground.
      • Party Pete: It's balloon drop time!
      • Regina: You fool! You'll, like, totally ruin the ritual!
      • K'ril Psssutsaroth appears.
      • K'ril Psssutsaroth: Pitiful landwalkers! Look upon the smooth, shiny rubber of perfection and weep.
      • K'ril Psssutsaroth: Buoyancy has come to claim this world. The balloons will rise up and take what is rightfully theirs!
      • Cutscene ends.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • What was Party Pete doing here?
      • Player: What was Party Pete even doing here?
      • Party Pete: I got an invitation! The first name was a bit smudged, but it was clearly meant for me.
      • Player: Let me see that.
      • Party Pete hands you the 'party' invitation.
      • Player: Let's see...
      • Player: 'Dear P---- Pete, I am afraid I must write to you in desperate need of aid.'
      • Player: 'It has come to my attention that my daughter Regina is hosting a wicked gathering near Draynor Manor at the turn of the month.'
      • Player: 'She and her friends plan to unleash something killer and wild. Once the clock strikes midnight, all of Draynor will be on fire.'
      • Player: 'She does not know what she is doing. Please, help her in any way you can.'
      • Player: ...
      • Regina: I don't know what breaks my dead heart more. That my own father, like, betrayed me...
      • Regina: Or that this fool actually managed to sabotage our ritual.
      • (Shows the previous options.)
    • What can we do?
      • Player: What can we do?
      • Regina: If we want to stop it, it'd have to be quick. The world is gonna reach critical balloon mass soon.
      • Regina: If that happens all of Gielinor will, like, float away.
      • Party Pete: Popping balloons always makes me feel better.
      • Party Pete: Maybe if we pop that big boy over by the portal it will fix everything!
      • Player: I really don't think it would be that simple-
      • Regina: Ugh. Much as I hate to say it, party-head over here might be right.
      • Regina: That chonker is keeping the portal open with its expansive, rubbery mass.
      • Party Pete: Let's pop it!
      • Regina: It's protected by dark, floaty energy. But I think I can totally break through its defences. Or whatever.
      • Regina: Decimate the smaller balloon invaders and bring me at least one hundred of their scraps.
      • Party Pete: Here, you can use this pointy stick to pop the balloon invaders.
      • Party Pete hands you a Pointy Stick.
      • Player receives a pointy stick.
      • Player: I'll get those balloon scraps.

Subsequent meeting with less than 100 balloon scraps[edit | edit source]

  • Party Pete: Have you finished popping those balloons?
  • Player: I don't have enough scraps yet.
  • Regina: No rush. If we all, like, die to balloons... So be it.

Subsequent meeting with less than 100 balloon scraps and without the Pointy Stick[edit | edit source]

  • Party Pete: Have you finished popping those balloons?
  • Player: I lost the stick.
  • Party Pete: Here, you can use this pointy stick to pop the balloon invaders.
  • Party Pete hands you a Pointy Stick.
  • Player: I'll get those balloon scraps.

Subsequent meeting with 100 or more balloon scraps[edit | edit source]

  • Party Pete: Have you finished popping those balloons?
  • Player: I have the scraps right here.
  • Regina: Finally. Its power has been ballooning totally out of control.
  • Party Pete: Don't worry, Regina! I know your spell will work.
  • Regina: Ugh! Of course it will.
  • Regina: But... Thanks. I guess.
  • (Without the pointy stick:)
    • Player: I don't have the stick anymore.
    • Party Pete: That's fine, I have another one right here.
    • (Continues below.)
  • Regina: Here, with this dark, mysterious weapon you should be able to destroy that abomination.
  • Regina hands you the enchanted stick.
  • (The pointy stick is removed from the players inventory along with all of the balloon scraps, and the player receives a stick of power.)
  • Player: I'll end this threat once and for all!

Without enough inventory space to receive the enchanted stick[edit | edit source]

  • Party Pete: Have you finished popping those balloons?
  • Player: I have the scraps right here.
  • Regina: Finally. Its power has been ballooning totally out of control.
  • Party Pete: Don't worry, Regina! I know your spell will work.
  • Regina: Ugh! Of course it will. But... Thanks. I guess.
  • Regina: You don't even have room to carry the enchanted stick. Why are you carrying so much? Just, like, drop something... Jeez.

Without the stick of power[edit | edit source]

  • Player: I lost the enchanted stick.
  • Regina: Imbecile! Lucky for you, I have enough energy to enchant another.
  • Regina: Here, with this dark, mysterious weapon you should be able to destroy that abomination.
  • Regina hands you the enchanted stick.
  • Player: I'll end this threat once and for all!
  • Player: This time for sure.

Inflatable invaders[edit | edit source]

Popping Inflatable Invaders without Pointy Stick[edit | edit source]

  • Only a pointy stick is sharp enough to pop this foe. Don't question it.

Popping Inflatable Invaders with a Pointy Stick[edit | edit source]

  • (One of the following is seen:)
    • Inflatable Invader: At least I go out... With a bang...
    • Inflatable Invader: Have mercy!
    • Inflatable Invader: I will rise again!
    • Inflatable Invader: I'm too young to die!
    • Inflatable Invader: It's the Falador Party Room all over again...
    • Inflatable Invader: Nooo!
    • Inflatable Invader: Tell my parents... I hate them.
    • Inflatable Invader: We will never be deflated!
    • Inflatable Invader: We're on the up and up!

Popping K'ril Psssutsaroth[edit | edit source]

Talking to Regina or Party Pete before popping K'ril Psssutsaroth[edit | edit source]

  • Regina: what[sic] are you waiting for?! Stab that giant balloon with the enchanted stick I gave you!
  • Regina: Less talky, more stabby! Stab, stab, stab!

Without the stick of power[edit | edit source]

  • Only the Stick of power will be strong enough to deflate this fearsome foe.

Popping Inflatable Invader with Stick of power[edit | edit source]

  • You shouldn't waste power this sinister on the underlings!

With the stick of power[edit | edit source]

  • K'ril Psssutsaroth: Vile landwalker! You cannot hope to stop me.
  • K'ril Psssutsaroth: I will inflate and inflate until I smother your puny world!
  • Player: I don't think so!
  • The player pokes K'ril Psssutsaroth.
  • K'ril Psssutsaroth: No! Sharp objects... One of my many weaknesses!
  • K'ril Psssutsaroth deflates to the size of a normal balloon and becomes K'ril the deflated.
  • K'ril Psssutsaroth: Vermin! I will crush you beneath my string.
  • Player: You know, now that you've been deflated you're actually rather cute.
  • Player: I think I'll take you with me.
  • K'ril Psssutsaroth: Unhand me right now.
  • K'ril Psssutsaroth: I will destroy you and everything you hold dear!
  • Player: So adorable.
  • K'ril Psssutsaroth: NooOoOooOo!
  • You have unlocked the K'ril Psssutsaroth follower pet. You can find them in the 'Follower' tab in the pet interface.
  • K'ril the deflated disappears.

After defeating K'ril Psssutsaroth[edit | edit source]

Regina[edit | edit source]

  • Regina: I see you managed to destroy that abomination.
  • Regina: I don't think we could have done that without you so... Thanks, I guess. Or whatever.
  • Player: You're welcome.

Party Pete[edit | edit source]

  • Party Pete: This was definitely the best balloon drop I've ever been a part of!
  • Party Pete: I'll have to ask Regina if she can help me with them in the future.
  • Player: Please don't.