Transcript of 2020 April Fools

This page contains dialogue related to 2020 April Fools. The content below is copied verbatim from RuneScape and thus copyrighted by Jagex.

This transcript involves dialogue with Dr. Cole and the player.

Logging in

• A brassica digsite has been uncovered at the Falador cabbage patch!

Random player lines

(One of the following is said randomly:)

• Player: Choy to the world.
• Player: Everyone. Romaine. Calm.
• Player: My Cabbages!
• Player: What doesn't kale you makes you stronger.

Entering the cabbage patch

• Dr. Cole: Welcome to the brassica digsite! Isn't it just marvellous?
• You feel more chef-like than usual.

Leaving the cabbage patch

• The power of the chef fades. Sous sad.

Picking a cabbage

• (A random one of the following is seen, then continues below:)
  • Cabbage: Ahhhhhh! Leaf me alone!
  • Cabbage: What on earth are you trying to do to me!?
  • Cabbage: Why won't you just let me sleep?
• Player: Did you just say something...?
• Cabbage: No.
• (Player picks the cabbage.)

Killing the Oversized Cabbage

• All that remains of the mighty cabbage falls to the ground.

Talking to Dr. Cole

Initial dialogue

• Dr. Cole Welcome to the Brassica digsite!
• Player This doesn't look much like a digsite. In fact, I'm fairly certain that this is exactly the same cabbage patch that has always been here. Except now, for some reason... there is a giant cabbage? Also, why am I a chef...?
• Dr. Cole Cole's Law!
• Player Yes please, unless it has too much cabbage in it.
• Dr. Cole No, you don't understand! Cole's... Law!
• Player Ohhhh.... It's just it sounds a lot like... Nevermind. So what exactly is Cole's Law?
• Dr. Cole Well, let me explain...
• Screen fades out and back in.
• Several hours later...
• Dr. Cole That's it! Simple, isn't it?
• Player Sure... So you want me to bring you Cabbage bosons...? That for some reason I can get by killing a giant cabbage?
• Dr. Cole Spot on! Together we can prove the existence of the widely speculated quantum cabbage field.
• Player Yes. What's in it for me...?
• Dr. Cole Oh, yes! I almost forgot! Each time you bring me a Cabbage boson, I'll offer you a reward.
• Player Great! I'll be right back with one of those bosons in no time.

After the initial dialogue

• Dr. Cole Which reward would you like?
• Select a reward
  • (If the ring of cabbage hasn't been unlocked yet:)
    • The Ring of cabbage
      • (If the player has a cabbage boson in their inventory:)
        • Dr. Cole Certainly!
        • Dr. Cole hands you your reward.
        • The Ring of cabbage has been added to the transmogrification interface.
        • Dr. Cole eats the Cabbage boson.
        • Dr. Cole Interesting, my understanding grows.
        • Player ...
      • (Otherwise:)
        • Dr. Cole I'm afraid I can't offer you this reward unless you have a Cabbage boson for me.
  • (If the ring of rares hasn't been unlocked yet:)
    • The Ring of rares
      • (If the player has a cabbage boson in their inventory:)
        • Dr. Cole Certainly!
        • Dr. Cole hands you your reward.
        • Dr. Cole eats the Cabbage boson.
        • Dr. Cole Interesting, my understanding grows.
        • Player ...
      • (Otherwise:)
        • Dr. Cole I'm afraid I can't offer you this reward unless you have a Cabbage boson for me.
  • (If the Cabbage Slayer title hasn't been unlocked yet:)
    • The Cabbage Slayer title
      • (If the player has a Cabbage boson in their inventory:)
        • Dr. Cole Certainly!
        • Dr. Cole awards you the title: 'The Cabbage Slayer'.
        • Dr. Cole eats the Cabbage boson.
        • Dr. Cole Interesting, my understanding grows.
        • Player ...
      • (Otherwise:)
        • Dr. Cole I'm afraid I can't offer you this reward unless you have a Cabbage boson for me.
  • (If not asked before:)
    • 120 Archaeology
      • Dr. Cole I'm terribly sorry but I can only offer this reward to archaeological experts.
      • Dr. Cole That is, those who have already achieved level 99 Archaeology.
      • Player Oh...
      • Player I'll be back!
      • Dr. Cole I'm afraid this was a limited time offer that has now expired.
      • Player ...
  • None.
    • Dr. Cole Okay, goodbye for now.

After receiving all rewards

• Player So, does the quantum cabbage field exist?
• Dr. Cole No.

Reclaiming rewards

Without anything to reclaim

• You have no rewards to claim at this time.

With rewards to reclaim

• (If the ring of cabbage has been lost:)
  • Dr. Cole hands you another Ring of cabbage.
  • (Continues below)
• (If the ring of rares has been lost:)
  • Dr. Cole hands you another Ring of rares.