Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf

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Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf is the second quest in the Dwarf (Red Axe) quest series, in which you must track down clues to find the truth behind the Red Axe corporation. It is the sequel to The Giant Dwarf quest.

Official description[edit | edit source]

Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf is part 2 in the Rise of the Red Axe series, focusing on the dwarves and their capital city of Keldagrim. After the events in The Giant Dwarf, the Red Axe Mining Company has departed the city and set up a new headquarters in a remote underground location.

Veldaban, the Commander of the Black Guard in Keldagrim, wants you to investigate the case and find out if the Red Axe is planning anything nefarious. The problem is, the only lead he's got is an extremely drunken and kebab-obsessed dwarf.

Use your Farming and brewing abilities to your advantage, then prepare to be perplexed by puzzles as you follow the trail to the Red Axe...

Overview[edit | edit source]

The Red Axe[edit | edit source]

Veldaban chathead.png

To start this quest, talk to Veldaban, Commander of the Black Guard in the Black Guard H.Q., west of the Keldagrim bank (you can reach the city via multiple ways). He is rather shocked to tell you that, after the incident at the end of The Giant Dwarf, the Red Axe company has left Keldagrim and will soon be kicked out of the Consortium.

However, he finds it rather suspicious and wants you to investigate the mining group. The only lead they have currently, is a dwarf living in east Keldagrim who expresses strange behaviour when the company is mentioned.

Quid Pro Quo[edit | edit source]

The Drunken Dwarf's house in east Keldagrim.

Agree to help Veldaban and you will automatically be transported to the dwarf's house just north-east of Kjut's Kebabs store in east Keldagrim. Ask the dwarf about the red axe, and the dwarf will ask you for a drink. Talk to him again to give him a beer – you can buy one from the Laughing Miner or the King's Axe Inn for two coins. He, however, wants "some of the REALLY good stuff", which is an incredibly alcoholic drink called Kelda Stout.

Kelda Seeds[edit | edit source]

To make the drink, you need to grow some kelda hops from 4 kelda seeds, possessed by some of his drunken friends – namely Khorvak, Gauss and the rowdy dwarf.

  • The drunken dwarf gives the first seed to set you off.
  • Outside the Laughing Miner pub in the east side of Keldagrim and just by the mine carts, you should see a rowdy dwarf. He asks you for a random item in exchange for his seed. If you talk to the Rowdy Dwarf later, you can select the option that you don't know where to get the item and he'll ask you to get another item (this may or may not work).
  • For the next seed, go to the west side of Keldagrim and talk to Gauss. He is in the King's Axe Inn, south of the bank in west Keldagrim. He will ask you to do a toast with him. Buy a beer and talk to him again to get the seed. If you buy a dwarven stout, you won't drink it during the animation and you can use the glass in the next step.
  • To get the next seed, take the Catherby lodestone and run north to the cave entrance. You can also get there by either using the mine carts or taking the Taverley lodestone and running north to the cave entrance, by the farming patch at the foot of the mountain. At the pub inside the cave, talk to Khorvak, the dwarven engineer. Take a dwarven stout off the table and give it to Khorvak to get the seed – or just talk him out of it. You "borrow" the seed as you manage to convince him that you will "return it".
Speaking to the Rowdy Dwarf
A list of the items you may be asked to bring
Random items include:

Growing the Hops[edit | edit source]

Harvesting the Kelda hops

Once you have all the four seeds, go to the hops farming plot in front of the palace in West Keldagrim and east of the bank. Ask Rind the gardener for advice on planting the seeds there, and he tells you that for some reason, sunlight is harmful for kelda seeds and hence you can only grow it underground.

Weed the garden using a rake, plant the hops, and wait 5 – 20 minutes (a supreme growth potion cannot be used). You don't have to be online, but you'll get a notification when the hops are ready saying: "Perhaps I should take a look and see if my Kelda hops have grown...". The hops don't require attention or water and cannot get diseased. Fortunately, they are known for having a remarkably fast growing speed.

If you need something to pass the time, you can talk to Rind the gardener and deliver a letter for him; you must take it to Elstan, the gardener at the allotment south of Falador (you can quickly reach him using the cabbage port from the Explorer's ring 3 or 4), then go back to Keldagrim to Rind to get two herb (marrentill) seeds.

When your seeds have grown, pick the Kelda hops.

The Kelda Brew[edit | edit source]

The fermenting vat after Kelda Stout has fermented

Go back to the bar in East Keldagrim. Go upstairs and use two buckets of water on the fermenting vat, add two barley malt, the Kelda hops, and finally pick up the empty pot in the corner of the room and ask Blandebir to fill it up with ale yeast for 25 coins. Put this in the vat, then wait 5–20 minutes. You do not have to be online, but you'll get a notification when the ale is ready saying: "Perhaps I should have a look and see if my Kelda brew has brewed...". The colour of the liquid in the vat will change from translucent/dark into a white/opaque colour with a ring when it is close to being done. Attempting to make the Kelda Stout in another brewery results in the message These special hops need to be brewed in the Keldagrim brewery. Oh well... appearing in the chatbox.

When the stout has fermented, turn the vat valve and use a beer glass on the barrel. Go back to the Drunken Dwarf and use the option that says "I need to know about the Red Axe" to give him the Kelda stout.

If you happen to destroy your hops, or not allow the brew to ferment, you can return to the Gardener and get another set of hops.

The Drunken Dwarf[edit | edit source]

The dwarf tells you about how quite a while ago, he resigned from his company, the former Magenta Accordion. He went to the now-abandoned southern Keldagrim mines to explore and accidentally "almost fell into the abyss and encountered pink dragons", amongst other things.

Head to the mine tracks to the south and speak to the southernmost cart conductor (south of the tracks). Ask him about the closed off tunnel, to which he mentions that it cannot be opened unless the Consortium orders so, so you must go talk to an influential friend.

Return to the Consortium and talk to the director of the mining company you joined during The Giant Dwarf on the 1st floor[UK]2nd floor[US]. If you do not remember which mining company you joined, you can either speak to Veldaban to be reminded or speak to each Director until you are recognised. They'll be glad to open up the tunnel for your help. With the boards removed, ride the southern cart into the tunnel, ensuring that both weapon and shield slots are empty.

On the Edge...[edit | edit source]

You find yourself before a gigantic abyss at the end of the cart ride. A short cutscene shows the vastness of the area, along with tracks floating out in all directions. You can only proceed through one of the many exits on the other side of the chasm.

If you log out at anytime while in the cave, you will be transported out in the city, and your progress will be saved.

Room 1: A Chasm[edit | edit source]

Riding the cart

To do so, you need to complete a cart puzzle. Collect the square stones from the box next to the controls and set them in the dwarven machinery so that you can travel to both the blue marks and the destination red cross. The highlighted line controls the path the cart will take.

Your goal is to set up a connection between the red square all the way to the left and the boxes that are to the right. To place/rotate a stone in a junction, click once for green, twice for yellow, and three times to remove the stone.

  1. To get past this room, operate the controls and place the yellow stone on the farthest spot to the left and the green stone one spot below that, as shown to the right. Hop onto the cart, and search the box on the platform that you reach to obtain another green square stone. Take the cart back to the control box.
  2. There are 2 ways to go forward with the next one: Either green, yellow, green or green, green, yellow. Ride the cart again, search the box for a second yellow stone, and return to the control box.
  3. Finally, connect the stones to the red cross, with the two green blocks on the right hand side and the two yellow blocks on the left hand side. Ride the cart to reach the second room.

Room 2: Eavesdropping[edit | edit source]

Overhearing an important conversation...

In this room, you eavesdrop on a conversation between Hreidmar, an Ogre Shaman, and a Red Axe Henchman discussing the cross-breeding of dwarves and ogres. You learn that The Red Axe bribed the boatman into deliberately crashing into the statue so that they could blame it on a human in the quest The Giant Dwarf. Crawl through the hole at the opposite end of the room from where you entered.

Room 3: Another Chasm[edit | edit source]

You'll now be in another mine cart abyss. Search the box to receive 2 yellow and 1 green stone.

  1. Put the green stone on the far left, a yellow one above it, and another yellow one to the right. Ride the cart, search the box, and ride back.
  2. Put a yellow stone at the far left, another yellow one spot below that, a green one below that, and another green to the right. Ride the cart, search the box, and ride back.
  3. Put a green stone on the far left, another green one spot above that, a yellow one spot above that, a green to the right and below, and a yellow to the right. Ride the cart into the fourth room.

Room 4: Reports[edit | edit source]

The reports room

You appear in a small archive room, with a number of bookcases and crates, the ones with visible contents being searchable.

  • Search the three crates. One contains papers concerning taxes, profits, etc. The other two, however, are much more interesting.
    • There is a copy of a letter addressed to the dwarven boatman, signed by Colonel Grimsson. It speaks of the bribe, which was part of the plans you overheard earlier, so that the boatman takes along some gullible human on his boat to blame and destroy the statue of King Alvis.
    • The other letter is a report on an exploring dwarf who entered the mines – your new buddy, the drunken dwarf – whose memory was wiped to avoid any risk, which resulted in him never recovering. The spell had been altered to entail a craving for beer and kebab, so that the dwarf, in case he remembers something, would not be taken seriously.
  • One of the books in the bookcases contains information on Red Axe employees, in particular Colonel Grimsson and Grunsh. The former is the henchman you met earlier, who, after the Battle of Barendir, was fired from the Black Guard and employed by the Red Axe. The latter is the ogre shaman, who was found frozen on top of the troll mountains and taken care of by the company.

Read through each document and continue your exploration.

Room 5: Yet Another Chasm[edit | edit source]

Moving forward from the reports room, you arrive at the final chasm. Search the box for 2 yellow and green stones.

  1. Put a green stone on the far left, a green stone one above that, a yellow stone one above that, and a yellow one to the right. Ride, search, and ride back.
  2. Put a yellow stone on the far left, another yellow one below that, another yellow one below that, a green to the right, a green above that, and another green above that. Ride, search, and ride back.
  3. Put a green stone on the far left, another green one above that, a yellow one above that, a green to the right of that, a yellow above, a green below, a yellow above, then a yellow below. Ride to the sixth and final room.

Room 6: Chaos Dwarves[edit | edit source]

Forgetting everything
The army of Chaos Dwarves

A cutscene starts, where the Red Axe director will show off his army of Chaos Dwarves. But before you can report to Commander Veldaban of what you've seen so far, Grunsh the Ogre shaman catches you prying into their plans and casts a spell that eliminates all your memories of the caves.

Kebabs and Beer[edit | edit source]

Go back to Commander Veldaban. Alas, you don't remember any of what had happened, but your instincts will tell you to go to the Laughing Miner pub and have a beer and kebab.

Buy a kebab from Kjut, the store owner on the east side – immediately south-west of the Drunken Dwarf's home – and a beer from the pub to the south. Once you're inside, drink the beer; you will automatically eat the kebab and begin a humorous cut-scene. You must do this inside the pub, anywhere else will result in dialogue that you have an urge to have a beer and a kebab at the Laughing Miner pub in East Keldagrim.

Congratulations, quest complete!

Rewards[edit | edit source]

Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf reward.png
Music unlocked

Achievements[edit | edit source]

Required for completing[edit | edit source]

Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf is directly required for the following quests/miniquests:

It is therefore an indirect requirement for the following quests and miniquests:

Transcript[edit | edit source]

Credits[edit | edit source]

Update history[edit | edit source]

This information has been compiled as part of the update history project. Some updates may not be included - see here for how to help out!
  • patch 2 November 2015 (Update):
    • Players no longer see Gauss's chathead differently from his main model during a cutscene in Forgettable Tale...
  • patch 17 December 2013 (Update):
    • Colour blind players are more able to see the stones in the Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf quest.
  • patch 14 January 2013 (Update):
    • Bloom has been removed from the beer glasses during cutscenes in The Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf.
  • patch 19 December 2012 (Update):
    • The final cutscene in the Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf quest has been updated to ensure that the player doesn't wield a weapon instead of a beer glass.
  • patch 22 May 2012 (Update):
    • Veldaban now directs the player towards the correct company in Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf.
  • patch 14 June 2011 (Update):
    • Some flickering issues have been fixed in portions of the Forgettable Tale... quest.
  • patch 23 September 2009 (Update):
    • A cutscene in A Forgettable Tale... has been reworked from an outdated style.
  • patch 6 May 2009 (Update):
    • Fixed some height-mapping issues in the Forgettable Tale of a Drunken Dwarf cutscene.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

Audio options icon.png
Spying on Hreidmar
A non-unlockable music track that plays during the presentation of the chaos army

Audio options icon.png
Beer and Kebabs
A non-unlockable music track that plays when you are drunk, it is a remix of Tale of Keldagrim

  • The quest summary that appears in the player's Event Log in Runemetrics says "I investigated a Red Axe threat to Keldagrim...and I don't remember what happened next. I keep thinking about beer and kebabs."
  • At the start of the quest the commander asked "Player_name, have you heard?" to which the player responds "You mean, half the world has suddenly become a farmer?" This refers to the Farming skill that was released on 11 July 2005 just a few weeks before the quest.
  • During the Drunken Dwarf's first mention of the Kelda stout, he says it is "Ash blue ash the river! Ash strong ash ole Dondakan's rock. Ash foul tasting ash ash." "Dondakan's Rock" is the rock in the Between a Rock... quest.
  • If the player speaks to Veldaban before finishing the quest, at the Laughing Miner Pub, they will say the Red Ale. As The Red Axe is referring to the Dragon battleaxe, the Red Ale is a reference to the Dragon bitter.

Cultural references[edit | edit source]

  • If you look at your quest journal after your memory was erased and the boards were broken, it replaces all of the text with a few random lines. The phrase 'bad wolf' appears in this text, a reference to a running theme in the 2005 series of Doctor Who.
  • The part of the dwarf's story with "Pink dragons" is a reference to seeing pink elephants, a euphemism for alcoholic hallucinations.
  • If you talk to Gauss after you drink with him, he says "I say, I say, a toast to this fine human!", which is a reference to the popular musical Fiddler on the Roof.
  • When eavesdropping on the Red Axe, Hreidmar says, "And we would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for that pesky human," which is a play on the popular dialogue from the Scooby Doo TV Series.
  • When talking to the Rowdy Dwarf, he'll say at some time, "Mmhh, beer.", which is a frequently repeated line from the animated TV series, The Simpsons.