Captain Braindeath

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Captain Braindeath chathead.png

Captain Braindeath is a pirate captain who is in charge of running the secret brewery on Braindeath Island that produces Braindeath 'rum'.

History[edit | edit source]

Captain of the Brewery[edit | edit source]

The following takes place during Rum Deal.

Captain Braindeath was one of the major captains of Mos Le'Harmless. He participated in the Battle of the Archipelago, although his role in the battle is unknown. Following the massive battle, he was put in charge of running the secret brewery on Braindeath Island. Originally intending to market his 'rum' as rum, he had to add the quotation marks after the Cooking Guild threatened them with the Disposal of Hazardous Waste Act and the Health and Safety Laws, so the 'rum' he sells is actually called Artificially Produced Hyper Condensed Sweetened 'Rum' Flavour Distillate. [1]

As he and his crew were brewing rum, they were suddenly set upon by a horde of zombie pirates, who demanded rum. Braindeath and his men were able to hold them off, though after a few days, the zombies gave up their will to fight and began protesting instead. Fearful the zombie pirates would try to storm the brewery again, he sent one of his pirates, Pirate Pete, to look for someone who could help them. [2]

Pete was able to bring an adventurer to Braindeath, much to his delight. After meeting with them and explaining the situation, he has them collect the ingredients for his 'rum' and exorcise the control panel for the fermenting vat, which has been possessed, so that they can distract the zombie pirates while he and the brewers escape. After the player manages to fetch a bucket of 'rum' to Captain Donnie, the zombie pirates' captain, he accidentally slips that he works for a pirate named Rabid Jack, whose name clearly shocks Braindeath by its sole mention. Pretending to have never heard of him, he rewarded them for their efforts and managed to keep the brewery working by keeping the zombie pirates drunk with his 'rum'. [3]

Getting Marks[edit | edit source]

The following takes place during Rocking Out.

The adventurer, curious to know the story of Rabid Jack, was informed by Bill Teach to meet with Young Ralph, Rabid Jack's apparent killer. Young Ralph kept himself incarcerated in Rock Island Prison as a means to keep himself safe. Upon meeting with Young Ralph, he requested that they give him the marks of the five pirate captains before he would tell his story, with Braindeath being one of those five. [4]

The adventurer soon met with Braindeath at the brewery, and was told that they needed his mark to learn about Rabid Jack. Braindeath was immediately terrified of the name, but knew they had no ill intentions. [5] He told them that he would give his mark if they could get the bartender at the Rusty Anchor to stock his 'rum'; he had tried earlier, but failed. [6] Braindeath provided them with five different disguises, and they were able to trick the bartender into stocking his 'rum'. Grateful for their assistance, he gave them his mark. [7]

Disguises Galore[edit | edit source]

The following takes place during A Clockwork Syringe.

Following an assassination attempt on the adventurer by Rabid Jack, they went to Bill again and presented him with a Zombie pirate head. Bill believed they would need to take drastic measures, and sent them to Braindeath to obtain the Twiblick night special.

Upon arriving, the adventurer requested the special, to which Braindeath responded that they must be in dire times if they had to resort to that. [8] Before he would offer them the special, he was worried about three brewers, who had arrived from Daemonheim and went to investigate a mysterious entrance which had recently been unearthed in a rockfall to the north of the island. It had been three days since they disappeared, and he knew that they were most likely dead, but wanted to know what happened to them. [9] The adventurer agreed to investigate the entrance and find the brewers in exchange for the Twiblick night special. Upon returning, they reported that zombie pirate surgeons had been injecting the dungeon's crabs with his 'rum', which made them go berserk and kill the brewers who went to investigate. Blaming this on Captain Donnie (who he had been supplying with his 'rum'), he promised not to give him any more 'rum'. [10]

Braindeath proceeded to give them the Twiblick night special, but not before having them swear an oath; if they forsaked it, he would smash their head in and he "definitely wasn't kidding" [11]. If they lost it, he would replace it for them, claiming that the one he gave them was a fake. [12] If they attempted to open it themselves, they would be greeted with another box and a letter from him warning them not to try it again.

Attacked[edit | edit source]

The following takes place during Pieces of Hate.

The brewery was attacked by Mi-Gor and his pirates, who had used the attack on Mos Le'Harmless as a diversionary attack so that the brewery could be captured. Braindeath and his brewers were kept hostage. Mi-Gor and Mechanical Murphy attempted to coerce him into revealing the secret of his 'rum', but he refused. Upon learning of the attack, Bill sent the adventurer to the brewery, where they saw him being interrogated. Upon spotting them, he revealed the secret ingredient as witchwood, [13] but Mi-Gor knew he was lying and dropped several of his brewers into the fever spider pit in response.

The adventurer found Davey, who had remained in the brewers' quarters during the attack. Davey realized that when Braindeath looked at the adventurer and mentioned witchwood, he was referring to "Operation Witchwood", a plan that had been created following the revelation of the 'rum'-pumped crabs. [14] The plan would rely on soaking the zombies in 'rum', which the crabs were attracted to and would drive the zombies out of the brewery. The adventurer was able to soak the zombies in 'rum', and with Baron von Hattenkrapper's aid, release the 'rum'-pumped crabs from the dungeon, allowing them to drive the zombies out of the brewery.

Braindeath would later take custody of the zombie pirate and Mi-Gor's head. He also stated he would look into the black stone and modify his 'rum' in response, to prevent others from attempting to use it to turn others into zombies. [15]

Update history[edit | edit source]

The update history project is a work-in-progress – not all updates to this topic may be covered below. See here for how to help out!
  • patch 4 April 2011 (Update):
    • This npc no longer rearranges banks when taking a fishbowl helmet and backpack from players’ banks.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • During Rum Deal, he claims to not actually be a pirate, but rather an alchemist who suffered brain damage when he first created his trademark 'rum' which caused him to speak like a pirate. The player doesn't believe this, and his presence at the Battle of the Archipelago casts further doubt on his claim.

References[edit | edit source]

  1. ^ Captain Braindeath, "Rum Deal", RuneScape. "Well, see, it's like this. If we called the stuff we make 'rum' without makin' the little quote gestures every time, then the Cookin' Guild has promised to do entertainingly painful things to us with whisks. See, technically – And by that I mean technically according to the Disposal of Hazardous Waste Act and the Health and Safety Laws – technically, what we're brewin' here is Artificially Produced Hyper Condensed Sweetened 'Rum' Flavour Distillate."
  2. ^ Pirate Pete, "Rum Deal", RuneScape. "Good news Cap'n! I found us a hero down by the docks!"
  3. ^ Captain Braindeath, "Rum Deal", RuneScape. "With those rottin' dogs legless they'll never keep fighting us now, so we've decided to stay here and keep the 'rum' flowin! Thanks, [lad/lass]. We'd never have managed without ye!"
  4. ^ Young Ralph, "Rocking Out", RuneScape. "Cap'n Braindeath, Izzy No-Beard, Bill Teach, Brass Hand Harry and One-Eyed Hector."
  5. ^ Player character, "Rocking Out", RuneScape. "I'm sorry. It's just that this is a lot of effort when all I'm trying to do is help.
    Captain Braindeath: I know ye are. Well, all ye've gotta do is get the barman in the Rusty Anchor te sell my 'rum' and ye'll have my mark."
  6. ^ Captain Braindeath, "Rocking Out", RuneScape. "Aye. 'Cept he said he'd rather eat a sack o' gravel than stock my stuff. But yer a clever one. Ye'll find a way te make him think there is a demand fer the stuff."
  7. ^ Captain Braindeath, "Rocking Out", RuneScape. "And here's my mark."
  8. ^ Captain Braindeath, "A Clockwork Syringe", RuneScape. "These be dire times indeed if we be restortin' to that. No doubt ye've been told that what ye're askin' me for is not a trifling request to be taken lightly."
  9. ^ Captain Braindeath, "A Clockwork Syringe", RuneScape. "Aye, Player. That I will. Although I'm not expecting a rescue at this point. If ye find them, bring me proof of their fate. That'll suffice."
  10. ^ Captain Braindeath, "A Clockwork Syringe", RuneScape. "So that's what the swine was doin' with me 'rum'! Well, he'll get nay more from me, of that ye can rest easy!"
  11. ^ Captain Braindeath, "A Clockwork Syringe", RuneScape. "...and if anyone does, Cap'n Braindeath'll smash me face in!
    Captain Braindeath: And he's definitely not kidding!"
  12. ^ Captain Braindeath, "A Clockwork Syringe", RuneScape. "Of course ye did. It wouldn’t be ye without misplacing an irreplaceable, dangerous secret at least once now would it, Player? Fortunately for ye, it were a fake. I knew ye’d lose it."
  13. ^ Captain Braindeath, "Pieces of Hate", RuneScape. "Witchwood! The final ingredient is witchwood."
  14. ^ Davey, "Pieces of Hate", RuneScape. "It's a plan the Captain and I hatched to get rid of Donnie and his crew. It's named that because we need to get past 50% Luke, but he won't let us. Recently, we've having issues with 'rum'-pumped crabs escaping from the dungeon on the north od the island. They don't often come out of the dungeon, but when they do, they're drawn to our vats of 'rum'. We figured If we could find a way to lure a load of them out, they'd be attraced to Donnie's 'rum'-soaked reprobates and we'd have an army of crabs on our side to chase them off."
  15. ^ Captain Braindeath, "Pieces of Hate", RuneScape. "I'm going to look into that black stone effect on the 'rum', maybe a change of recipe will fix that. Don't want people turning into monsters after all."