Burntmeat

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This article is about the non-player character. For the item, see Burnt meat.
Burntmeat chathead.png

Burntmeat is a troll featured in the quests Eadgar's Ruse and My Arm's Big Adventure. He is the chief chef of the Troll Stronghold and can be found in the Troll Stronghold kitchen. He is sometimes criticised by other trolls for only being able to cook burnt meat.

Most trolls are named after the first thing they eat[1], but Burntmeat says that burnt meat was the first thing he tried to cook. Burntmeat enjoys cooking as well as eating humans and goutweed.

Burntmeat specialises in cooking humans.

Burntmeat is the largest troll cook inside the stronghold. Bigger trolls are generally higher in the troll hierarchy, so this may be another reason why he is the chief troll cook. Burntmeat is always found inside the troll kitchen, where he eagerly cooks for the rest of the trolls. He is illiterate.[2]

History[edit | edit source]

Being the head chef of the mountain trolls for a long time, Burntmeat has spent his life cooking "delicious" food for the trolls. As the mountain trolls eat humans, Burntmeat originally wanted to store them for long-term purposes by stuffing them in crates, but this backfired as the humans died faster and thus, Burntmeat suggested the idea of a prison to keep the meat fresh.[3]

Searching for Goutweed[edit | edit source]

The following takes place during Eadgar's Ruse.

Burntmeat encountered a human adventurer in the year 169 of the Fifth Age, who planned to cook them since he was tired of cooking goats. The adventurer easily persuaded him by claiming that they are too "hard"; after a quick inspection, Burntmeat agreed[4], and asked what they wanted. The adventurer requested some goutweed, which Burntmeat promised if they would fetch him a human to cook.[5] The adventurer was able to fetch a "human" with Eadgar's help, who soaked it in a potion to ensure Burntmeat would tell the truth when he ate the "human". Upon being given the "human", Burntmeat rewarded the adventurer with some burnt meat, and told them where they could find goutweed due to the potion's effect.[6]

Farming Goutweed[edit | edit source]

The following takes place during My Arm's Big Adventure.

Burntmeat found the adventurer exploring the kitchen again; due to their assistance in securing a "human" to cook, he had another request for them. He told them that he previously thought the trolls had picked all the goutweed, but soon heard rumors that there was a place where goutweed was growing again.

While the adventurer was gone, Burntmeat found another human adventurer and prepared him for tonight's stew. He stripped the said adventurer of his armour, and the adventurer attempted to offer the equipment (dragon helm, dragon chainbody, dragon platelegs and abyssal whip), Burntmeat refused however, as the armour hurt his teeth, and as he began to search the adventurer's dragon platelegs, he found a batch of goutweed inside. Burntmeat believed the adventurer had stolen the goutweed[7], but the adventurer said that he grew it himself, and told him to go to Murcaily at Tai Bwo Wannai.[8] Although Burntmeat was interested, he decided to cook him, much to the adventurer's surprise as he did nothing wrong. Unfortunately, it gave him a nasty case of food poisoning as he had forgotten to wash the adventurer's feet.[9]

Burntmeat concluded that if the humans were growing goutweed, the trolls could too[10], and asked the adventurer to help his assistant, My Arm, grow some. The adventurer agreed to help Burntmeat, but on the condition that he would never cook humans again, which the troll chef promised, claiming that goat tasted like human if enough goutweed was used[11]. If asked about the equipment he confiscated from the adventurer, Burntmeat stated that he discarded them, as the "red metal clothes" (dragon armour) hurt his teeth, and the "big whip thing" (abyssal whip) got stuck in his throat.[12]

The adventurer helped My Arm grow goutweed. Burntmeat then offered the adventurer a lot of burnt meat as their reward (much to their disgust).[13] As a result of being able to grow goutweed, the trolls' demand for the herb skyrocketed, and both My Arm and Burntmeat worked hard to keep their appetites satisfied. Burntmeat also utilized a loophole in the promise he made with the adventurer, stating that he could just serve humans up raw (as the adventurer only stated that he didn't have to cook them, not eat them) and hoped that more humans would come with goutweed so they could eat them with seasonings.

The Kyzaj Tournament[edit | edit source]

The following takes place during The Mighty Fall.

He later appears on Yu'biusk along with My Arm to the Kyzaj Tournament in support of the adventurer, and informs My Arm that Bandos had died fighting Armadyl.[14] He offers them a new recipe that Kris taught him, which is 'dragon eye meatballs and goutweed rock cakes'.[15] The adventurer has the option to taste it, and it is described as tasting and feeling like acid. This does not harm them, however.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Burntmeat admits trying to store humans in crates during My Arm's Big Adventure but this caused them to die and start rotting so Burntmeat had to use the prison to keep the meat "fresh".
  • If the player speaks to him before starting Eadgar's Ruse, Burntmeat will plan on cooking the player, who responds by saying they are too tough to be tender and tasty.
  • He is known for giving out 'joke' rewards of burnt meat during Eadgar's Ruse and My Arm's Big Adventure. He gives the player one piece of it during Eadgar's Ruse, and at the end of My Arm's Big Adventure, it is much more amusing: he fills the player's inventory with burnt meat while exclaiming "Lot's of burnt meat!" Any burnt meat that cannot fit into the inventory is dropped on the ground.
  • "Burntmeat" was the name of the item received in RuneScape Classic if the player fail to cook a piece of meat. It has since been replaced with "Burnt meat".
  • As revealed by My Arm during King of the Dwarves, Burntmeat once made soup out of pretty flowers, after the eating of which he got food poisoning. Similarly in My Arm's Big Adventure he forgot to wash the captive Adventurers feet leading to Burntmeat getting food poisoning after eating him, this suggests that Burntmeat is rather poor at preparing food properly.
  • According to information surrounding Troll Invasion it takes Mountain Trolls 10 minutes to get hungry for Burntmeat's cooking.
  • Although Trolls are usually very unintelligent, Burntmeat is an exception, as he uses a loophole in his promise so that he can still prepare and eat humans.
  • Burntmeat has answered letters in at least two editions of Postbag from the Hedge. These are Postbag 13[1] and Postbag 25.[16]
    • In the 13th edition of Postbag from the Hedge, Burntmeat tells the reader that since the trolls can grow goutweed they have been struggling to keep up with demand, therefore Burntmeat was hoping that Adventurers may come along carrying it so they could eat them with their goutweed.

References[edit | edit source]

  1. ^ a b Jagex. Postbag 13 - "Transcript:The Evil Chicken defends his reputation.", Letter 7, by Burntmeat da troll. RuneScape Postbags from the Hedge.
  2. ^ Burntmeat, "My Arm's Big Adventure", RuneScape. "Urrrgh. You know how to read?"
  3. ^ Burntmeat, "My Arm's Big Adventure", RuneScape. "Yup. Can't keep people in crates like goutweed, dey go all dead an' smelly. Burntmeat tried it."
  4. ^ Burntmeat, "Eadgar's Ruse", RuneScape. "Hmm. Burntmeat think you probably right. What human doing here?"
  5. ^ Burntmeat, "Eadgar's Ruse", RuneScape. "Bwahahaha! Burntmeat not giving his greatest cooking secret away so easily. But Burntmeat also has quest for human!"
  6. ^ Burntmeat, "Eadgar's Ruse", RuneScape. "Hah! Trolls pick it all until none left, many years ago. Only remaining stock in storeroom. It well guarded, and Burntmeat hide key in fake bottom of kitchen drawer. Nobody find it there."
  7. ^ Burntmeat, "My Arm's Big Adventure", RuneScape. "Only place find goutweed is my storeroom. You bin stealing?"
  8. ^ Adventurer, "My Arm's Big Adventure", RuneScape. "You can get the gout tuber from Tai Bwo Wannai Village. Go there and ask Murcaily. Then you plant it in a farming patch."
  9. ^ Burntmeat, "My Arm's Big Adventure", RuneScape. "Well, he give me mighty sore tummy later. I think I forget to wash his feet."
  10. ^ Burntmeat, "My Arm's Big Adventure", RuneScape. "Ah! Der man I cooked, he say humans growing goutweed again. Now, if humans growing goutweed, maybe trolls can grow goutweed too, yah?"
  11. ^ Burntmeat, "My Arm's Big Adventure", RuneScape.
  12. ^ Burntmeat, "My Arm's Big Adventure", RuneScape. "Sorry, [Player] - Burntmeat chucked dat stuff away. It no good to eat. Red metal clothes hurt troll teeth, and big whip thing get stuck in throat."
  13. ^ Burntmeat, "My Arm's Big Adventure", RuneScape. "Oh yup, Burntmeat cooked you SPECIAL reward. LOTS of burnt meat!"
  14. ^ Burntmeat, "The Mighty Fall", RuneScape. "Yes! 'Im die in war wiv big bird god!"
  15. ^ Burntmeat, "The Mighty Fall", RuneScape. "I been tryin' some new recipes dat Kris been tellin' me about. Dragon eye meatballs and goutweed rock cakes. Wanna try some?"
  16. ^ Jagex. Postbag 25 - "Transcript:The trouble with trolls", Letter 6, by Burntmeat da troll. RuneScape Postbags from the Hedge.