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Balnea chathead.png

Balnea Thermaenni Caldarium, Esquiress[1] is the CEO of Oo'glog Recreational Relaxation Resorts and the daughter of the bartender of the Dragon Inn in Yanille. She can be found in the bank in Oo'glog.

Originally helping her father with his tavern in Yanille, Balnea grew frustrated with his lack of business acumen which resulted in wasted opportunities, and for not taking her advice in franchising and expansion.[2][3] She decided to leave for an extended hunting vacation in order to collect herself after being refused by her father to institute a beer-pulling mentorship programme.[4][5]

During her holiday, she chanced upon Oo'glog and after discovering the restorative properties of the pools present on its grounds,[6][7] successfully propositioned Chief Tess to open the town as a spa resort after convincing the Ogress chieftess that said venture would yield monetary returns for all parties involved.[8][9][10] [11]

The joint business venture was subsequently stalled due to numerous problems, such as the lack of time to train skilled labour required to run a spa resort. Further complicating these issues was her penchant for fast talking and business jargon, which led to none of the ogresses understanding her.[12][13][14][15]

By the events of As a First Resort, the player accepts her offer to act as a intermediary between her and the ogresses so that the development of the town may continue as planned but to their dismay, has to contend with her bossiness and jargon-laced dialogue.[16][17] Through further interactions with her, she reveals a more impatient and ruthless side of her personality, as well as her enjoyment of, and skill in, hunting. [18][19][20][21]

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Update history[edit | edit source]

This information has been compiled as part of the update history project. Some updates may not be included - see here for how to help out!
  • patch 13 December 2011 (Update):
    • Balnea from As a First Resort has had some spelling altered to reflect her American way of speaking.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Balnea's full name, Balnea Thermaenni Caldarium, contains references to baths and springs:
    • Balnea, the Latin word for bath.
    • Thermaenni, which is a warped version of 'Thermae', the latin word for warm springs.
    • Caldarium, the name of the room containing the hottest water in Roman Baths.
  • In Old School RuneScape, Balnea's mother, Madame Caldarium, can be found in Corsair Cove planning to start a spa business.

References[edit | edit source]

  1. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "My name is Balnea Thermaenni Caldarium"
  2. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "I used to work at my father's tavern in Yanille. It's a...viable business, but he's hardly a visionary when it comes to expansion and franchise."
  3. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "My father missed so many chances to actualize his opportunities, it was unreal. No matter how much I pushed or how much I tried, I couldn't even get him to consider implementing a basic marketing strategy."
  4. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "When he refused to let me institute a beer-pulling mentorship programme, it was the last straw. I realized that if I didn't find some release for my frustration, I'd end up a raging sociopath."
  5. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "Oooohhhh, yes. I gathered up all my things and went on an extended hunting expedition."
  6. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "So, anyway, I came upon this encampment of ogresses when I was out on my hunting trip."
  7. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "When you bathe in the waters, they have all manners of benefits to one's health and performance."
  8. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "This place has the potential to be the ultimate holiday destination - a spa where everyone can come to relax, get away from it all and take to the waters!"
  9. ^ Chief Tess, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "Dat woman, she very confusing, very bossy. Says lots but make no sense. Hard to understand. All I know is I agree to help her in thing she call 'business venture'."
  10. ^ Chief Tess, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "But de lady say dat many creatures give us lots of shiny pretties to sit in de pools and mud of Oo'glog! She go on about dis 'business plan' thing - she say it guarantee shiny pretties for everyone if we help her."
  11. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "Not really. They weren't developing the area before I came along. This way: I get rich, they get some shiny pretties to carry around with then, and the rest of Gielinor gets a lovely holiday destination."
  12. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "I've acquired a large number of ogre resources but, unfortunately, their core skills and customer focus leave, well, much to be desired."
  13. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "Now, I'm an expert at supervisory administration, but these ogres require more hands-on training than I'd initially time-costed."
  14. ^ Chief Tess, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "That just the problem. Human lady say much stuffs need to be done before everything is ready for customer. We try to help, but, thing is, we no can understand what she wants."
  15. ^ Chief Tess, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "We still have to listen to her nonsense talking, and there be no shiny pretties yet for anybody."
  16. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "What I really need is someone at the frontline. Someone who can interface between me and the ogres who have signed on to help out in this enterprize."
  17. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "Oh, that's nothing some good project management can't fix. With a little imagineering and some nose-to-the-grindstone developmentation, I'm convinced we can transform this place into the most luxurious of resorts."
  18. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "Yes, I am a rather fantastic hunter in my spare time; however, at the moment, I don't have any spare time because I'm too busy managing people like you who waste my time asking silly questions."
  19. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "Nonsense. It's just a matter of exercising good business practice: one needs to annihilate one's competitors without hesitancy or compassion."
  20. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "Oh, there's nothing I enjoy more than tracking and trapping small, defenseless creatures or matching wits and strength against larger, more clever ones."
  21. ^ Balnea, "As a First Resort", RuneScape. "Don't be deceived - they're not as easy to trap as you might think. Go talk to Chief Tess; she's almost as good a hunter as I am, and she can explain the special techniques required to catch creatures around this area."